2) People who are in a minority of OTHER people’s preferences.
An Asian man who will only date Caucasian women.
A sixty-year-old widow who will only date men 5-10 years younger.
A Jewish rocker with dreadlocks who wants to be with a Jewish woman.
A man who doesn’t want to have children. Let’s call him Steve.
My advice to you is the same as my advice to anyone who restricts their own choices: open up or quit complaining how hard you’ve made it on yourself.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with these choices, except to point out that they are choices that are self-restricting.
You can probably add other things to this list, including overweight women, older women, short men, and poor men. These are not choices, but they are groups that face longer odds because they don’t fit into many people’s preferences.
So if you’re in one of the above minorities and you’re faced with a frustrating situation, you have a choice: Keep doing what you’re doing, or change. I don’t judge you either way. I just have to point out the obvious:
If you’re only open to dating 5% of the population – you’re going to have a harder time finding love.
So what changes can be made?
An overweight woman could lose weight. The Jewish rocker could cut his hair to appeal to his demographic. The vegan could tolerate a man who eats chicken and eggs. The shorter man could be open to heavier women, the older woman to older men.
The problem is when we refuse to budge and then complain how hard it is to find anyone. It would be like me saying that I want to drive a car, but I’ll only drive a hot pink Lamborghini that I see being driven down my street. Guess I’m not going to be doing too much driving.
I don’t blame you, Steve, for not wanting to have kids. It’s a huge decision, a life-altering decision, and you shouldn’t do it if it makes you feel profoundly uncomfortable. Just know that the only options you have are to date women in their 30′s who state that they don’t want kids, to date women who are in their 40′s who may be cool with the idea of not having kids, or wait for women in their 50′s whose kids are already grown.
Otherwise, buddy, my advice to you is the same as my advice to anyone who restricts their own choices: open up or quit complaining how hard you’ve made it on yourself.
By the way, thanks for putting yourself on the line with this one – a lot of readers can identify with you.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
Do You Want to Attract the Partner of Your Dreams?
If so, sign up for my free dating and relationship newsletter and receive my free eBook, The 5 Massive Mistakes You're Making In Your Love Life - And How to Turn Them Around Instantly. Simple and effective advice to jumpstart your love life.