Comments on: I’m a Man Who Doesn’t Want to Have Kids. Who Is Left To Date?

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 08 May 2013 08:33:24 +0000

Hi,
When I met my husband almost 10 yr ago he openly stated that he didn’t want kids. I loved him so much that I wanted to be with him with or without kids. He is an amazing men who loves me and supports me all the time. I love him more than our potential kids and we are still so much in love with each other. Not having kids also gave us some advantage as we traveled the world together, I will be graduating this year without loans, we can do wherever we want on the weekends and we got a dog We enjoy each other company and we are passionate about helping others.
Sarah

By: marymary

marymary — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 23:04:08 +0000

Andrew
yes, if the homosexual person insists that their partner has to be a certain age range, especially if it,s is not their own age range, certain height, well dressed, a certain race, hair colour, with good income, minimal relationship history and shares the same religion, diet and interests etc, etc, ETC
these people aren’t looking for a relationship. They,re looking for a cardboard cut out who meets their needs.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 22:47:02 +0000

“Otherwise, buddy, my advice to you is the same as my advice to anyone who restricts their own choices: open up or quit complaining how hard you’ve made it on yourself.”
That’s like telling a homosexual either open up to women or quit complaining how hard it is to find a partner. Just like someone’s sexual orientation isn’t a choice, neither is their belief system. We all have different preferences, and it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to tolerate a relationship with someone who you clearly can’t connect with.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 05:36:22 +0000

Hi Steve,

I’m 28 years old and know for a fact I do NOT want children. I’m very happy to hear that there is still “hope” and there are men out there who feel the same way I do. If I were to enter into a relationship with someone I would also prefer to date someone who does NOT have children as well.

By: Mmmmarie

Mmmmarie — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 04:27:23 +0000

God, I wish that the guys like you, who don’t want kids, were more visible in the dating world. I’m 30, female, and really don’t want kids. I suspect that I don’t have a biological clock…

By: To Christa

To Christa — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 18:04:19 +0000

Must laugh at the post, I saw that on match too. If I saw a guy that was 47 and said someday for kids, I would run so fast the other direction not because I think they want kids someday at that age but because my first thought would be that they havn’t yet grown up. Either that or they want a much younger woman but they don’t want to lose the chance at her for seeming like he is in a rush.

By: Dear Steve (from a young 37 woman)

Dear Steve (from a young 37 woman) — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:57:43 +0000

Steve, You said that you did not understand why a woman in her mid 30′s to mid 40′s on match would write “not sure”. I am kind of surprised that you wouldn’t understand this because that is precisely the age that I would expect a woman to be unsure:
–Biological clock is ticking but it still might be possible. This woman has considered the option of having kids and not having kids.
–The woman has spent so much of her adulthood alone that although she want’s kids it might be hard to give up the freedom.
–The woman thinks that she will scare men away if she is that age and writes yes – but in her heart she knows the answer is yes. **Not being honest with self and not good***
–If a woman just says she is unsure and that she would like to have kids if she meets the right person, FYI – the right person is NOT you, because you already said that you don’t want kids. You should know enough that that answer is a clear indication that if you were in a committed relationship then she would want kids. Unless, you are willing to be flexible, this type of unsure response should indicate that you are not a match.
Honestly, I think that most women who write unsure but are in that age group might actually really want children but be afraid that they won’t be able to conceive. There could be a multitude of reasons though.
My suggestion is this, yes your pool might be limited but do stick with being honest and upfront because in the end you will get burned or burn someone else. If you consider women who say they are unsure you really should ask why they are unsure on the 2nd date. If a woman at that age wants to get pregnant she will need a man who can really put the time in to make it happen because it might not be easy. Don’t waste your or her time.
This is all hard – for everyone. At the right moment it might come so easily that you wondered what the years of this being a challenge was for, I don’t know but honestly is always best, be honest with yourself and be honest with someone else. Ask the right questions and don’t overlook the answers. Compatibility lasts a lot longer than lust.

By: Jo

Jo — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 18:47:44 +0000

I understand Steve’s plight. For a very long time I knew I did not want to have cildren of my own. That sent quite a few men away who wanted to have a family. With that being said, I am not opposed to being a “step” parent at some point in my life. It is hard at 37 years old to find a man who does NOT have children. However, dating a man with children is not a deal breaker for me. I realize the children still have both parents (hopefully) and that if I am lucky they co-parent well together and I won’t have to worry at all. I love children, I have many nieces and nephews who stay at my place so my sister can have a weekend with her husband alone. I just do not want to be a mom…is there anything wrong with that? Not at all….being a step mom, I can handle and am definitely willing to take should the right man come around. I thought I found him actually…but we are taking things slow, so we shall see.

Steve, not wanting children is not a bad thing. Knowing what you want is a good thing…I give you props for being honest.

By: NonExist

NonExist — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:20:19 +0000

Totally understand and identify with Steve.
And there is no compromise on that issue.
Parenthood is not something to be taken lightly.
And I’d much rather spend my time enjoying time with my lady and focusing on hobbies than raising children.

Had an issue about that in my marriage years back.
Painful memory but I’ve always known I have never wanted kids.

By: Kay

Kay — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 08:23:18 +0000

“A Jewish rocker with dreadlocks who wants to be with a Jewish woman.”

Right here! Where are ya?? Where is this mythical beast you describe? I’m a female Jewish rocker who’s looking for a Jewish guy who understands this insane lifestyle called “working the music industry….”

Seriously!

bac to the subject, though……I have to respectfully disagree with Evan about broadening your search *in this one category*. There is no compromise with the kids issue. Either they are present in her life, or she wants them to be. And it’s not fair to anyone if one person wants them, and the other doesn’t. Like Roma (24) I had to walk away from 2 perfectly good relationships because he wanted to be a parent, and I don’t. Frustrating, yes. But it’s much better than being resentful over an innocent kid for the rest of your life because the child has held you back from living the life you want. Steve, stick with your guns about the no kids thing. You know what will make you happy.