Comments on: I Am Heartbroken that my Friend With Benefits is Getting Married and Wants to Remain Friends http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:12:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Nelly http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-2/#comment-36753 Nelly Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:37:07 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-36753 I recently went through this myself. Much worse though. It was a guy i knew for 15 years. Good freindf for 7 years. We went to high schhol, college, worked together, travelled together, the whole nine. I thought i knew everything about him, i even knew about his girfriends. Over the years when i was living my life he got closer to a girl who was freinds with his sister who passed away. He started cheating with her on his girlfreind at the time. Fast forwrd to 2007. We got up one evening and that changed things. He askled me to hang out with him. We traveled to foreighn land together, had great sex. He told me before it all happened he loved me as a friend. Afterwards he said he loved me. I thought he did. Zoom forward...we fought all year over this girl who he said " was a freind of the family" and "would not move on" from the previous situation. He has had a girlfriend after her. I thought he was single as he said. Well his grandfatehr passed and i attended the funeral. 10 girls were there, including her. WE talked and got the scoop on hiom. He stood up for the girl's honor and totally dissed me. 2 girld fought him at the funeral after he disrespected them. The "girlfreimnd" looked ion, and is still with him after learning so so so much of his infidelity. I feel like a huge fool. I knew better. I thought i could have him becase of our history and his persistance, our freinds thought he liked me too. He used to show my picture to girls and say this is who i really wanna be with...yeah right... I recently went through this myself. Much worse though. It was a guy i knew for 15 years. Good freindf for 7 years. We went to high schhol, college, worked together, travelled together, the whole nine. I thought i knew everything about him, i even knew about his girfriends. Over the years when i was living my life he got closer to a girl who was freinds with his sister who passed away. He started cheating with her on his girlfreind at the time. Fast forwrd to 2007. We got up one evening and that changed things. He askled me to hang out with him. We traveled to foreighn land together, had great sex. He told me before it all happened he loved me as a friend. Afterwards he said he loved me. I thought he did. Zoom forward…we fought all year over this girl who he said ” was a freind of the family” and “would not move on” from the previous situation. He has had a girlfriend after her. I thought he was single as he said. Well his grandfatehr passed and i attended the funeral. 10 girls were there, including her. WE talked and got the scoop on hiom. He stood up for the girl’s honor and totally dissed me. 2 girld fought him at the funeral after he disrespected them. The “girlfreimnd” looked ion, and is still with him after learning so so so much of his infidelity. I feel like a huge fool. I knew better. I thought i could have him becase of our history and his persistance, our freinds thought he liked me too. He used to show my picture to girls and say this is who i really wanna be with…yeah right…

]]> By: lets http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-2/#comment-32334 lets Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:49:09 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-32334 Hey Michael...comment #47....loved it....thumbs up...lol Hey Michael…comment #47….loved it….thumbs up…lol

]]> By: lets http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-2/#comment-32333 lets Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:34:29 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-32333 I have tendencies to be like G.D., to offer all of myself to a guy that I have feelings for and patiently hoping that he would someday realize how fortunate he is to have me and love me as much as I love him in return. Martyr effect. True that a "positive" result can happen but I kind of knew that the percentage is ????? Please don't allow him to use and hurt you any further. Two years is more than enough. If this person had conscience and is a "FRIEND", he shouldn't have allowed this to happen in the first place. He knew that he had no love for you. Respect and love yourself more because you deserve it :) I have tendencies to be like G.D., to offer all of myself to a guy that I have feelings for and patiently hoping that he would someday realize how fortunate he is to have me and love me as much as I love him in return. Martyr effect. True that a “positive” result can happen but I kind of knew that the percentage is ????? Please don’t allow him to use and hurt you any further. Two years is more than enough. If this person had conscience and is a “FRIEND”, he shouldn’t have allowed this to happen in the first place. He knew that he had no love for you. Respect and love yourself more because you deserve it :)

]]> By: vlh http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-2/#comment-32298 vlh Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:35:03 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-32298 Why didn't G.D. keep her options open and date other men? At first sign of any inconsistency, or unreliability, in a partner, you should post a profile on a dating site, or at least a personal ad someplace, and line up dates with men who have a bit more potential. I always have at least one in reserve, in case Mr. Now flakes out and becomes a liability. Why didn’t G.D. keep her options open and date other men? At first sign of any inconsistency, or unreliability, in a partner, you should post a profile on a dating site, or at least a personal ad someplace, and line up dates with men who have a bit more potential. I always have at least one in reserve, in case Mr. Now flakes out and becomes a liability.

]]> By: delicia http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-2/#comment-31355 delicia Tue, 26 May 2009 19:43:22 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-31355 Sam, thanks for the reply.... hmmm, interesting, I guess your situation is a (rare) example of FWB actually working. Good for you and I wish you (and your FWB) all the best! Sam, thanks for the reply…. hmmm, interesting, I guess your situation is a (rare) example of FWB actually working. Good for you and I wish you (and your FWB) all the best!

]]> By: Angela http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-2/#comment-31349 Angela Tue, 26 May 2009 19:25:15 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-31349 My experience with FWB was not with an ex. I think that having it with an ex could complicate things. For me it was a mutual situation where neither party wanted a serious relationship with the other but yet there was a strong physical attraction, and we had fun.Over time there was a development of feelings. I think people try to make FWB something it is not. It's a bit more than a booty call, IMO. and only time makes it that. My experience with FWB was not with an ex. I think that having it with an ex could complicate things. For me it was a mutual situation where neither party wanted a serious relationship with the other but yet there was a strong physical attraction, and we had fun.Over time there was a development of feelings. I think people try to make FWB something it is not. It’s a bit more than a booty call, IMO. and only time makes it that.

]]> By: Angela http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-31344 Angela Tue, 26 May 2009 19:19:24 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-31344 Sam, So the sex must be good then? Sam,
So the sex must be good then?

]]> By: Sam http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-31320 Sam Tue, 26 May 2009 16:26:49 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-31320 Delicia, There are a few reasons that my best friend/FWB and I are not married. 1. My best friend/FWB does not want to have children and I completely want them. 2. When we were a conventional couple we also argued a lot, which is not something that happens to me in most of my relationships. Even as FWBs we argue about things. 3. I would like to be with someone who is better educated, has a better job, and more mature. I will say this, being FWB is not necessarily something that entirely benefits the man. My FWB is always the one who decides what we do and when. Delicia,

There are a few reasons that my best friend/FWB and I are not married.

1. My best friend/FWB does not want to have children and I completely want them.
2. When we were a conventional couple we also argued a lot, which is not something that happens to me in most of my relationships. Even as FWBs we argue about things.
3. I would like to be with someone who is better educated, has a better job, and more mature.

I will say this, being FWB is not necessarily something that entirely benefits the man. My FWB is always the one who decides what we do and when.

]]> By: delicia http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-31269 delicia Tue, 26 May 2009 02:28:04 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-31269 Sam, out of curiosity, if your ex is your best friend AND you guys have a physical attraction towards each other, why aren't you together?? Emotional and physical connection - that's the holy grail! :) Sam, out of curiosity, if your ex is your best friend AND you guys have a physical attraction towards each other, why aren’t you together?? Emotional and physical connection – that’s the holy grail! :)

]]> By: Michael http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-am-heartbroken-that-my-friend-with-benefits-is-getting-married-and-wants-to-remain-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-31264 Michael Tue, 26 May 2009 01:32:06 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1120#comment-31264 <i>At least it's sex with someone who is safe, who cares about you, and will call you in the morning.</i> That is what the "F" stands for. At least it’s sex with someone who is safe, who cares about you, and will call you in the morning.
That is what the “F” stands for.

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