Comments on: I Love My Ex-Boyfriend, But He Only Calls Me When He Wants Phone Sex

By: Jenna

Jenna — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:53:48 +0000

These guys don’t care if you cut them off anyway, they don’t care about your feelings either. They think they are so slick and smooth, well ladies, you’re better than that, stop being his doormat! Just tell yourself over and over again that you are worth much more than that. You might be emotionally unavailable as well, and he could be your safety blanket too, he’s the fall back guy too. Read more about self awareness, it’s time to think about what you want, not what he wants. Just tell him your involved with someone and it’s going good and tell him that you can’t take his calls anymore. Put your energy into loving yourself not a mirage. Honestly, doesn’t it feel like a huge waste of time? Is there something else in your life that you’re avoiding? People can be used like any other addiction as well, what are you escaping from? Think about it.

By: Tammy

Tammy — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 11:41:12 +0000

Just told my ex where to get off, I am worth more than his sexual advances

By: Kayla

Kayla — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 16:44:31 +0000

I googled this right after I got off the phone with my ex who’s always calling me up for phone sex! I didn’t give in this time, and after reading this, I’m glad I ignored his advances.

While I thought I could ‘make use’ of him as well, I know it’s not easy cos I’d just end up feeling hurt & used. And yes, I always do, right after doing it.

So, ladies, who else is there to protect our dear, delicate hearts if it’s not us? :)

By: Denise

Denise — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 17:38:19 +0000

#10 Sher

I love the attitude! They can only to do us what we allow them to do. So your direction is right in regard to having a stronger boundary.

By: sher

sher — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 08:55:37 +0000

Ladies, let’s stand together and kick these cads to the curb! I mean, really, just who do these clowns think they’re dealing with anyway? I’m planning my “departure” from this kind of treatment. I deserve far better and John is lucky he’s “had” me this long…

By: sher

sher — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 08:49:30 +0000

Shari,
I am currently the sex girl for a guy I knew 25 years ago. He had a huge crush on me and I never returned to crush. I went to see him a few months into my separation from my husband and he was all over me. I was shocked, but kinda flattered, cuz I thought he was making up for lost time (gawd I sound like an idiot here lol). I thought oh, John still thinks I’m hot. Well fast forward to 9 months later and he only calls me when he wants me to come over for sex and that only turns out to be once every 5 weeks or so, sometimes longer. My divorce is nearly final, and I told myself that he’s been uncomfortable “seeing” me in public (cuz my ex is a controlling cop) so he wants to be discreet and when my divorce is final, thngs will change. Well, how hard is it to send a text or call occasionally? Sure he’ll talk to me when I call him, but it’s rarely for more than 5 minutes. Now another guy from the past is in the picture and he could be after sex too, but the difference is this new guy “Charlie” calls me and talks to me almost daily. Charlie brought me flowers and took me out to dinner and drinks when he visited from out of town. John has never given flowers, John forgot my birthday too. I think I need to kick John to the curb. So even if Charlie isn’t Mr. Right, at least he’s got the decency and manners to act like a nice guy, give me some nonsexual attention and remember my birthday. I’ve been too nice to John and he’ll never find anyone who holds a candle to me. His loss!!!!

By: Denise

Denise — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 22:53:59 +0000

The fact about men, in addition to their actions do all their talking for them as EMK mentions, is they will also take what is given them. If the woman continues to be phone sex girl, once in awhile sex girl, etc., then who is he to say no? I’m not saying that all men are bad, I’m just saying that’s how they work. The women they end up falling for are the ones that stand up to their bad behavior with their strong boundaries.

Like Shari said, if the woman understands what’s going on and can handle it, then that’s fine (although women have strong physical reactions to having sex, which they can’t control, it’s natural and hormonal). Most of us can’t though, without developing feelings for a man we’re sharing our body with.

(Also would like to add that there’s a lot of projection that goes on in on line or long distance relationships. Nothing really counts in regard to a man courting a woman until the two people are physically together. So talking on the phone for 6 months and seeing each other for 3 days means you’ve been on three dates with the man, NOT have been dating him for 6 months.)

By: wendy

wendy — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 19:49:24 +0000

shari,

I have been going through the same thing for 8 months now, plus my guy was seeing other women.
you couldn’t have put it better and what you write gives me strenght
Thanks!

By: Lora

Lora — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:48:58 +0000

So in case you would want to stop beeing the phone sex girl and get him to want something else with you… what would you do?

By: Shari

Shari — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 15:33:11 +0000

Laurie,

I wasn’t the out of town or phone sex girl, I was the sex girl…period. I had a very deep and intense connection with a man who could only see me every other week due to his work schedule. That every other week we saw each other was for sex. I’d hear from him the next day, then only here and there for another week, until Monday of the week we would be seeing each other when he’d suddenly become attentive until the day after we got together when the pattern would start over again.

Before we had sex he communicated with me all the time, was constantly around, but maybe a month into the relationship having turned sexual, he gave me a line about how even if we couldn’t talk to each other as much as we would like, to know that didn’t change his feelings for me at all. Then I stopped hearing from him every day, then it was every few days, until it was only really that day after we had sex, and the Monday of the week we would be having sex again.

I let this go for nearly three years, off and on, telling myself it was okay because a) I did have real feelings for him and to this day I think he did for me too but he’s a player who doesn’t want to change; and b) for quite a bit of those 3 years, I was using him too. He was a great fallback guy when the dates with other guys didn’t turn out like I wanted, or yet another man thought I was the best thing to come his way – until that next best thing walked by. He was a real ego booster and I’ve never had sex with anyone since that was a good as what I had with him.

What finally happened is I decided I was worth more than what he was giving me, whether I was mutually using him or not. I turned myself around, and a year ago met the most wonderful man who’s not a player, who calls and e-mails and sees me because he wants to be with me no matter what we’re doing, and I couldn’t be happier.

Only you have the right answer to the question of whether or not this man is worth it. But I can say, regardless of strong connections, if you aren’t getting what you want, then walk away and find what you need.