Comments on: I Moved to Be With My Long Distance Boyfriend and Now He Ignores Me http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/ Wed, 22 May 2013 18:56:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: amy http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-275014 amy Fri, 16 Mar 2012 12:52:38 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-275014 Never close the door behind you. Even if you’re just moving across town for a guy — make sure you have a plan B. Have a job, have somewhere else to go.
 
If he lives in a place where you think you’d be happy even if things didn’t work out, if you’ve got employment waiting, if you can afford to live there, if you’re not giving up things you really don’t want to leave…then go, and if things work out, bonus. And if you have children? Don’t even consider it unless you’re willing to be a single mom in the new place and will still have time and money to pay for their travel to see dad. Otherwise you risk uprooting them repeatedly. Let the guy respect your job as a mom and your children and come to you instead. (And don’t talk to me about his job, and how oh he can’t. There aren’t any jobs closer to where you live? If his deal is essentially that he wants to marry you so long as it’s convenient for his career, you already have your answer about this man and how seriously he takes you and your children.)
 
There are so, so many stories like this, and what it comes down to is that few guys will be straightforward with you if they think it’ll mess up something good they’ve got going on. You even hear about married women who quit their jobs and get the kids ready to move, then move and find that the new town, state, whatever comes with a divorce.
 
Bottom line: Take care of yourself (and your children) first.
 
It occurs to me, btw, that the advice given here generally assumes you’re childless, or at least have no minor children. This is, I think, a little unrealistic for dating unless you’re going to keep the population to 25-and-unders, and even there you’ll find plenty of single parents. I find that parents are much more upfront with each other about what they’re looking for and how serious they are or aren’t: ground rules are laid out quickly, because everyone’s got children to protect, and available dating time is limited.

]]> By: DinaStrange http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-274691 DinaStrange Fri, 16 Mar 2012 01:40:22 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-274691 You know, i feel that women now need to make a guy sign a contract like lawyers do…so everything is in the clear and the person won’t back off on his words.

]]> By: saint stephen http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-178952 saint stephen Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:30:46 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-178952 @selena #20

Did you expect the the guy to discourage her from coming as if he had ulterior motive? i mean if you were in the guy’s shoes what would you do or say? please don’t come?

definitely the guy was encouraging her the way he would encourage any of his/her friend who wanted to change city.
We are definitely not sure if this guy was thinking it in line with their relationship, perhaps he saw it as an avenue for her to meet and mix up with more people and further her career.
We really don’t know what she told the guy as her reason for wanting to relocate that made him encourage her.

From my deductions the problem here arose as a result of saying a different thing while hoping/wishing and expecting something else. 

]]> By: cor http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-161602 cor Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:00:09 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-161602 Perhaps some people come into our lives to be the sign along our paths when life is at a crossroads.   Perhaps he was never meant to be a full blown relationship, only a way to get you to the city where you are at, where a world of possibilities may await you.   Perhaps like many woman you don’t recoginize the sign post for what it is because it comes packaged as a good looking man we have feelings for.   Only time will tell, but you may look back on this guy and be thankful for him being the catalyst that brought you to that city.
 

]]> By: TabbyCat http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-153978 TabbyCat Sun, 08 May 2011 13:16:41 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-153978 Wow.  I just read this and the posts following.  I too moved about 1000 miles to be with a man, giving up practically ALL my possessions and am now hearing bells and sirens.  My difference is that he swore he loved me and wanted to get married…after his divorce was final.  Looking back now I should have waited for him to get his final papers and be on his own for a while before doing anything.  He went from married, to his mom’s house, then drove 1000 to get me.  I now feel like a replacement wife/mother.  Yes we get along but there is no passion and a lot of oddities in the bedroom.
I cannot recommend moving 1000 miles for anyone unless you’re in the military or have a fabulous job offer.  I’m only glad I kept my cat, bought my own laptop and am now starting my own business.  I think the cat and I will be living alone in under a year.  I am sickened and heartbroken and angry at myself and him but right now I don’t even have a car or a valid license for the state where I live.  I’m really stuck but determined to fix it.
Don’t do what I did.  I wish you the best of luck in your new city.  Stay strong and keep your head up high.

]]> By: sayanta http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-57057 sayanta Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:47:46 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-57057 “this isn’t a romance novel….”

LOL!

]]> By: Karl R http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-57051 Karl R Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:00:59 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-57051 Rosanna said: (#28)
“As he sees you gaining interest in your own life as you have in his, his eyes will gays up and he will fall in love with you again.”

Have you ever lost interest in someone, then later, when they moved on with their life, suddenly fallen back in love with them?

Because it’s never happened to me. If I lose interest in someone, the interest is gone. When they move on with their life, I’m happy that they’re moving on.

This isn’t a romance novel. I see no reason to believe that Cassie’s boyfriend would behave any differently than other people.

]]> By: Rosanna http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-57017 Rosanna Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:21:18 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-57017 Relax baby. People are so negativ….you are what you think that you
are…really. And that goes for you relationship aswell.
You need to for real get a hobby, and stop pretending that you have
one..As he sees you gaining interest in your own life…as you have in his, his
eyes will gays up and he will fall in love with you again.
This is the way it works…you cannot keep old love alive…it dyes…
But you can absolutely renew love over and over again.
Any other thing is lazyness…….
Take care of you looks, make new friends….cook beautyful meals and wine. Watch out for the wine or you might become all the opposite and
sink deeper into the out of love thing thing……hehe……but thiS ARE just common sence really….
Really……..
So put your lipstick on, start focusing on MOI and go get your life and
partnership of your dreams……
Things come seldomly just for free. And you have a man there to practice
being partner with…..pretend he is your husband….make the house look
homylike…buy some red or violet chushions or something…..and start playing the role of his little wify……men love this, really.
One of the most sedusable ways to get his heart forever.
Maybe even bake something for him. You dont have to goo all the way for
him. But just show him that you do fit the part.
Stop demanding from him, start demanding from you!

]]> By: starthrower68 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-18813 starthrower68 Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:55:04 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-18813 lin, I might recommend the book, “What Smart Women Know” by Julia Sokol and Steven Carter. Very insightful, full of wisdom. I just recently picked it up again and I’m glad I did. Rejection never makes us feel good. It does hurt. But you’ll come out of it stronger and wiser.

]]> By: lin http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/i-moved-to-be-with-my-long-distance-boyfriend-and-now-he-ignores-me/comment-page-1/#comment-18805 lin Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:20:02 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=253#comment-18805 I am in that same situation now. And he has treated me like crap. basically ignoring me. But I guess success is the best revenge. Let yourself be the “what -if” that he will come to wonder about but shall never know. For me, i think that this guy and I had so much to give each other. he once felt that way too or so he said. However, I have now cut my losses. I dont email or call. I wanted to email and tell him exactly what I thought of him but it is still in my Draft folder and I have not bothered to send it. maybe I never will. It sucks . It hurts. But for me there have been others before him. They hurt too. And I got over them. In retrospect, I have been grateful for each guy that walked out on me. They gave me a chance to focus on me and my goals. Someday, who knows I may thank this one too for this favour.

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