If I had a patient who asked me out, I’d question their judgment and understanding of boundaries. A health professional has access to your information that you trust he/she will keep confidential. As a health care professional, one MUST firmly (and kindly) turn down any requests from patients for a date.

Ex-patients are tricky. Either way, I think you should never be involved with your doctor. If you’re a doctor and there are questionable moments, get a chaperone to make sure everything’s crystal clear.

I suspect that he’d like to meet you in a non-professional environment.

“Should I ask him directly if he is interested?”
Do you want to know whether he is interested?

I suppose you could try reading his mind or stealing his journal, but asking directly is a lot more reliable.

“I don’t want to look desperate”
If a man asks you out, do you assume he is desperate?

If a woman pursues me, I don’t assume she is desperate. If a woman is pursuing every man that shows the slightest interest in her, then I assume that she’s desperate.

“I asked him if he wanted to go to lunch with me, [he declined,] I felt so stupid afterwards.”
Why did you feel stupid?

Okay, I probably shouldn’t be too harsh towards you. When teenage boys are rebuffed, they feel stupid afterward. In order to be successful at dating, however, they learn to ignore that feeling.

I’d recommend that you teach yourself how to ignore that feeling as well.

“he started flirting with me, … the way he looks at me suggests he is interested.”
Or he could be a flirt. There are several women that I flirt with. They could correctly assume that I find them attractive.

But I’m not about to dump my girlfriend in order to pursue any of these women. So it’s entirely possible that he finds you interesting … without being interested in a relationship.

However, if any of the women I flirt with were to express an interest in me, I would be flattered. I would not think they were stupid or desperate.

My heading references my own experence with a PT who, though married, made himself very familiar with me. Not in a sexual or romatic way–I believe he loved his wife very much–but by telling me of his childhood, family, some of his life traumas, etc. It’s true we hit it off, right off the bat; he was like a long lost brother to me, actually. However, due to his marital and professional status there seemed to be nowhere for this relationship to go. I had to go through an actual grieving process at the end of my treatment time (two six week sessions.) It was very sad and painful. The personal nature of our relationship also caused little flare-ups and stress (because it was confusing, frankly) which increased my physical tension and therefore pain. A friend of mine who had this same PT indicated that he behaved similarly with her and added, “I know what you’re going through.” She actually did, also, believe he was flirting with her, although she also noted he often mentioned his wife very fondly.

Anyway, I have seen many practitioners–Acupuncturists, Osteopaths, Massage Therapists, and now I can add PTs to the list–and YES, there is a reason professionals are expected to maintain PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES. You are more vulnerable to them because you have to fully put yourself in their hands, for treatment. It is a trust relationship that should not be violated while one is in session.