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My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 weeks. He has been separated from his wife for almost 1.5 years. Two weeks after we began dating, he told me that he invited his ex and their 3-year-old son over for dinner as the ex was upset about breaking up with her boyfriend recently. I made it very clear that I was not comfortable with this and he said it won’t happen again. The following week, he catches up with her father twice so they can spend time together. I finally asked him directly to finalize his divorce and he said it was a big step, but later changed his mind and printed the forms off the net. I asked him last week if he had spoken to his ex about it, which he said she agreed. The paperwork is still sitting there incomplete. Should I ask again or move on?
If I were your boyfriend, I’d dump you in a heartbeat. You’d be gone so fast from my life that you’d get whiplash trying to follow my ass out the door.
First I want to share a brief story about someone I know.
She was in love with her boyfriend, but her boyfriend was preoccupied with his mother, who was dying of cancer. Each time he flew back to see his mom on her deathbed, my friend couldn’t help but feel strangely jealous that he wasn’t spending time with her. When he’d return from his weekend trips, he’d get a passive-aggressive guilt trip. She knew he was under stress, but she had needs, too. How can she feel secure about their future when he’s spending half his time focusing on things other than her?
He broke up with her before his mom passed away. She was heartbroken, but couldn’t help the way she felt. Of course, she was 19 at the time, so she had an excuse.
I don’t know how old you are, but I’m hoping you’re 19 as well. Which means you’re going to have a long time to recover from what I’m about to say to you next:
If I were your boyfriend, I’d dump you in a heartbeat.
You’d be gone so fast from my life that you’d get whiplash trying to follow my ass out the door.
I’ll bet you’re wondering how I could say such a thing. After all, he’s YOUR boyfriend. Why should you have to worry about exes and fathers-in-law and sons and paperwork? Shouldn’t he be ALL YOURS?
Let’s look at a tale of the tape:
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