Comments on: I Want To Stop Having Sex With My Boyfriend Until We Get Married.

By: Jean

Jean — Fri, 17 May 2013 00:25:44 +0000

Golldie,
Sex being over rated is not just my opinion. It is proven when many people throughout time and across the world have cited examples of this, by revealing that they have not and do not get anything out of the sex act, then hear men and some women, go on, and on, and on, and on, about its importance. GOLDIE, that is what people mean, when they say that something is over rated. Plain and simple, huh?
”Just keep it on the DL and don’t tell your church friends if there is a god, I’m pretty sure he or she won’t mind two consenting adults having sex as part of a committed relationship”
This is the way you see things? Your belief, not mine. This is the way you see your god, not the way I see my God. You see Goldie, we all have opinions, don’t we? Even you have an opinion.
Girls, do not owe their boyfriends sex. Just because most men and some women want sex all the time, does not mean it is okay to condemn those of us who are fine without it in our single years. We need to support all females who choose to not have premarital sex, even when they stop in the middle of the game. If sex is that important to him and not her right now, maybe it’s better that she found out now. This may help her to become stronger for the attacks of the over rating sex crowd. A girl is not validated by any man, not her boyfriend, her husband, and not her dad. Females are vital and important just by being female, with our without sex. Let us stop scolding females for not liking sex and for expressing how little they want and need it. 5-17-13

By: Goldie

Goldie — Thu, 16 May 2013 14:59:10 +0000

@ Jean

“First off, many, many females give in to sex, because of all the notions that society has placed on us.”

And yet Yasmin, who admits that sex with her boyfriend has been “amazing”, is willing to give it up because of the notions that her corner of society has placed on her.

If any of them undergoes a huge personal change and decides to completely change the rules of their relationship in the middle of the game, as you say, that is completely their right. Just like it is completely their partner’s right to say, Wait a minute. Who is this person I’m with? What is this new way of life they’re forcing on me? I didn’t sign up for this. To me this is no different from a situation when, after ten months of being monogamous, one of the partners suddenly decides they need to switch to an open relationship and bring new partners into their bed right now. It is completely their right to do so. But the odds are high that the other partner may walk out, unless by happy coincidence he or she happens to also like open relationships.

“Sex is way too over rated. It puts girls in a dangerous situation.”

Wow. Can I point out that this is your opinion, not Yasmin’s. She likes being intimate with her boyfriend, she’s just being guilt-tripped by whatever religious organizations she belongs to, into no longer having sex. That’s a little different. If she hadn’t liked sex from the beginning, her bf would’ve known that from the beginning and they wouldn’t be in this situation now. TBH my advice to her would be, if you like doing it, keep doing it. Just keep it on the DL and don’t tell your church friends. if there is a god, I’m pretty sure he or she won’t mind two consenting adults having sex as part of a committed relationship. This approach worked for me when I got religion at 22 after meeting my future husband at 20.

PS Pretty sure that Angel’s comment #157 was to EMK, not you. She didn’t say who she was addressing it to.

By: Jean

Jean — Thu, 16 May 2013 02:07:53 +0000

My comment was not insensitive. Don’t tell lies on me. Read before you comment. It showed her support, rather than having her listening to someone telling her she owes a boyfriend sex. Women are more than sex. If a man cannot respect that, then it is too bad. If she decides to stop in the middle of the game, then that is what you all must respect. If her boyfriend decided than he needed to stop doing something in the middle of the game, I would support him also.
Sex is way over rated. It is enjoyable to some and not important to others. You people need to respect a woman and her convictions, when she is not married to a man. That is some of the problem with the abundance of disease and teen pregnancies. We need to teach our girls to say no. Just because a boyfriend wants sex, it does not mean a girlfriend has to give in. 5-2013
Girls of the world, I support you saying no if you are not ready. Remember, you have a right to do what you want with your body. Trust me, I am an experienced female who abstained until I met a man who committed to me. Before that, I had my mind on God, my job, my family, and my friends. Sex is way too over rated. It puts girls in a dangerous situation.

By: Angel

Angel — Wed, 15 May 2013 22:40:25 +0000

Your answer to this poor girl was so insensitive. Her sexuality and her God are both precious to her and you treated them very disrepectfully.

By: cornflake girl

cornflake girl — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:59:44 +0000

Well, i have a problem similar to Yasmin, but it’s the other way around. My boyfriend is the one who wants to cut off the sex (because of fear of God)…. Well, i love God too, but i love sex too, intimacy and all…

By: Jean

Jean — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 16:07:42 +0000

All of the people here who disagree with a woman changin her mind in the middle of the game, may be a little confused or incompassionate, or non understanding, or anti female, or something of the like, when it comes to the way you all are approaching this female person, named, Yasmin.
First off, many, many females give in to sex, because of all the notions that society has placed on us. Example: If you don’t give it to your man he will do this, or no man will accept you, or you must be a prude, or you must be strange, or you must be old fashioned, and the list goes on and on. This scolding is not right and not fair. Women allow themselves to give in to the men’s scolding. Females, you should nott allow these scolders to change your convictions. You do not owe any man outside of marriage, a darn thing; sex included!!
Yasmin, I 100% agree with you and I have your back. I will travel with you around the world and speak up for women to stand against all this pressure to have sex with a man. I am not a troll, and do not hate men, and I have not been in bad relationships with men. IWhen I was a young female, I abstained from sex and did fine, until I met my man and was ready for commitment and sex. I just believe that men use women for sex outside of marriage. If you locked each man that claims that sex is so needed, in separate rooms for 2 years and only gave them food, restoom, television, etc, these men would not die of no sex from a woman. They would survive.

Yasmin, stick to your convictions. Let him go!! So dog gone what. You will do fine without him or any man, as long as you want. Girl, do not let these evil talking people, who are so consumed with sex, make you give in and join the other brainwashed females.

By: Kenny

Kenny — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 05:09:08 +0000

I’m actually in this same situation right now, which is why I am here. I wanted to see what other people had to say. Honestly, I have to say that I don’t think it is fair for you to want to change that part of the relationship and expect him to stay with you. You should be prepared for him to want to leave, because sex plays a key part in relationships. Now, if you had stated before having any sort of sexual interaction with him that you don’t want to have sex until marriage, then you could possibly have avoided all of the heartbreak and uglyness that might be around the corner, because there were no feelings off attachment and love created yet. However, leading someone into a relationship which they believe is going to be sexually open, and causing a person to not only become emotionally, but also physically attracted and attached to you and trying to break that physical part and expecting them to want to stay would be unfair. I’m trying to get my girlfriend to at least understand this, but I don’t want her to have to compromise her religious beliefs because of me, even though I’m an agnostic. It is hard for some men to sexually move backwards, especially completely backwards. However, if these intentions were stated initially, you, nor I, would be having this problem right now

By: Ano

Ano — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 18:22:10 +0000

You are not alone. Go to http://en.allexperts.com/q/Christianity-Christian-Living-1401/2009/3/Sex-Marriage-stop.htm it helped me

By: Lucy

Lucy — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 12:01:11 +0000

@Jean – I’m going to be controversial and say that yeah she does owe him sex, well sort of. Let’s get real. If he’s been having things a certain way and that suddenly changes, then that’ll shock him. Of course it’s up to her to do what she wants but she can’t expect him to be totally on board with that. I mean that’s common sense, and it has nothing to do with what your view on religion is. The same is true if a religious woman got into a relationship making it clear she wanted to save herself, and then the guy tried to persuade her to change the game plan. Both aren’t good. You should start how you mean to go on.

Okay I admit that I’m an agnostic. I don’t understand what sex has to do with God or why not having sex would bring one closer to God. Just doesn’t sound logical to me. Why would God create us as sexually charged beings and not want us to have sex? I mean if it’s that bad, maybe He should have only given us the ability to reproduce but not experience pleasure from sex? And wouldn’t God want us to be happy if that happiness involves us indulging our sexual passions?

Aren’t there other ways she can get closer to God anyway? Would God support her emotionally neglecting him by deciding to stop having sex? I would never deride someone’s religious views as silly…but seems silly to potentially losing an amazing guy. Surely there’s a better way she can engage with her faith.

By: Jean

Jean — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 06:13:16 +0000

How are you doing? Hang in there Yasmin. Hang in there baby girl. I feel like you are my daughter, so, please know that some of us love you! 11-16-2012