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What is wrong with me?? I have been searching for a sweet, wonderful guy. Along the way, I met someone that I adored, but I found out that he was sleeping with someone else. I confronted him and told him that I had to be the only one. He said he wasn't ready or willing to settle down with one person. So, I continued my search and met Mr. Wonderful. He adores me, is ready to propose, but I have a problem–our sex life is not good, and I find myself dreaming about Mr. Two-Timer, who was great in bed. What's worse, Mr. Two-Timer, who couldn't commit, now has a committed relationship with the other woman.
I'm still jealous and feeling hurt over him, while I've got this wonderful guy who loves me and wants to commit. I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with me? Can sex, or boring sex, cloud one’s judgment this much??
Isn’t it a shame there isn’t a correlation between “nice”and “great-in-bed”
(Millions of men who have slept with hot crazy women are nodding right now.)
The truth is that attraction and devotion are two things that CAN go together but don’t INHERENTLY go together. In fact, it would probably be more accurate to state that attraction and devotion are at opposite poles.
(Millions of women who have gone out with non-committal bad boys are nodding right now.)
He was SLEEPING with someone else, which instantly disqualifies him for his free gift from the Boyfriend-of-the-Month Club. Good riddance.
So what’s a nice girl who wants a nice guy with awesome bedroom skills to do?
Well, as a dating coach who tries to train all of his clients to become their OWN dating coach, here’s what I’d suggest: Look at the things you cannot change.
Mr. Two-Timer is a two-timer. It doesn’t matter if you initially adored him, he was SLEEPING with someone else, which instantly disqualifies him for his free gift from the Boyfriend-of-the-Month Club. Good riddance.
Mr. Two-Timer has another 120lbs of baggage, his new girlfriend. Don’t get too upset. She’ll learn his nickname soon enough. Although maybe not until a few years into their marriage. Be glad that he’s her problem, not yours.
Oh, but then there’s the sex thing. Why does sex always have to get in the way of such beautiful friendships?
(Millions of women who want to marry their gay best friends are nodding right now.)
Thankfully, sex is something that can change, especially if the parties involved are motivated to change. If you don’t believe me, consider what you know about sex now as compared with when you were say, 16. Have you learned a thing or two? I sure hope so.
Where things get sticky (not literally) is in trying to finesse HOW to get Mr. Devoted to WANT to change. Does he have any idea that you’re dissatisfied with your love life? Have you been faking your way through the past year? If so, it’s going to come as quite a shock to this guy that, oops, I’ve been lying to you this entire time….
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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