I can, and pretty much have, made every guy I’ve ever wanted, fall in love with me…and I’m not a ten. I’m smart and I realize that women have exponentially more power than men do.

“Actually, Sam, I disagree. I don’t think you have to look like a model to have a boyfriend – not by any stretch of the imagination. But I do think that with the advent of online dating, when men are scrolling through pages of pages of women, there’s very little incentive for them to write to average women when they feel like they can take a shot at a model. They may be delusional, but it doesn’t stop them at all.
People go online and complain that the people they DON’T want write to them, and the people they DO want won’t write back.
So more realistically, the average person is a 5 who wants to date an 8. The problem is that most of us think we’re 8′s.
Therein lies the disconnect – and the source of the disappointment.”
The above I believe is an unfortunate reality many of us have to face.  However, there are always gray areas that I believe lead to confusion and make it easy to say I’ll go for the 7 but very difficult to actually follow-through.  Allow me to explain.
Things are usually not black and white, I think we can all agree on that.  What do you say to the person who complains that most of the time the girls/guys they are most interested in don’t write back to them but does have some success here and there?
Of course I’m talking about me personally and my experiences.  In my 2 years of online dating, I am typically frustrated that the women I’m really interested in don’t write me back.  But it isn’t always the case.  I’ve been out with around 40 women from online, most I have been the one to turn down a second date (in retrospect I may have made some bad decisions).  I also occasionally get a really attractive one (about 3 or 4 times).  These are interspersed between getting ignored by a bunch of women as well as writing back and forth with hot ones that sometimes just fizzle out before I get a number (that’s part of online dating too).  On the dates with the hot ones, I seem to create some chemistry and sometimes it leads to a make-out session so I’m obviously not repulsing them and I feel at the time being at least that I’m in their league.  BUT, I have never gotten to date 2 with the highly attractive ones even though I got the attraction sparks flying enough for an open-mouth kiss.  A couple of times the girl was pretty crazy and it didn’t bother me but the others I obviously felt a huge disappointment in not getting to round 2.
The point I’m trying to make is…when you have some flashes of success, albeit few and far between, it makes it that much more difficult to compromise.  I often feel that I’m interesting and attractive enough to get the attention and the company of the top 5% but not interesting and attractive enough to keep them around.  Therefore, I tell myself to just hold out because if I can get a date with the top 5% every now and then, maybe the next one will stick.
Then there are other times (like now since I’m still disappointed in a recent one-date wonder with a 10) that I feel as though those highly attractive women that I have dated have been a fluke and that maybe they were just bored and wanted to get out of the house for a while and were never really interested in me. 
For me, I can get access to the really hot ones from time to time but they always turn out to be nothing more than a tease.  The more average-looking girls seem great and more readily available.  Why choose loneliness and frustration when potential happiness is possibly attainable?  Sounds simple but around and around we go chasing women (I guess the same goes for women chasing men) that are elusive and maybe unattainable.
By the way, here’s my stats so to speak: I hate to bring up height because I think it’s way over rated but I’m 6’2″, very fit, and make six figures (though in my part of the US that is not a lot of money).  Judging by what people on here write, I’m in the upper percentile in desirability.  Still, the really beautiful ones are elusive.  I will add I am trying to attract girls in their mid to late thirties (I’m 38).  I’m not that delusional and think I am going to get the 25 year old model in Manhattan.  As strange as this sounds, I don’t even think I want her at this point in my life.
Is it worth the pursuit anymore?  I’m not so sure. 
 

I find often that men sometimes like women with nice bodies, but the faces are pretty plain to me. (Like Britney Spears.) Like, I noticed that it is easy for a woman to trick a man into thinking she is attractive. A red dress, long straightened hair, the right makeup, a right attitude, and skinniness, and a woman with a ho hum face becomes attractive to men. At a wedding, a woman was wearing red and dancing in the middle of the floor and suddenly men started coming up to her. In other words, women who men consider hot are not actually pretty, a lot of the time.

Also, to the men that say that women are looking for men with looks and money, but especially money. Many of the women I know are not specifically looking for money. Please note that I am 25, so that might be a factor. I think that the type of women that I see men chase after and comment about, what Louis CK calls “the hot girl at the bar,” might want money and power because she has her pick of the litter. Basically, you are judging what a woman wants if that woman is a 10. A lot of the women who are looking for relationships are not the 10s.

I, unfortunately, judge people way more on their looks than on their money. This is a self esteem problem with me. In my experience, I find that the difference between dating someone who has a decent amount of money to someone who does not (like someone pursuing a degree), is comfort with them paying or being able to go on fun dates. I find it gross when a guy looks at the bill like it’s on fire or asks to split on a first date. When I went on a couple of dates with a guy with a decent salary, there was not tension with him paying because he wanted to go to cool restaurants (not that pricey.) I usually offer to split and/or voice my reservation, but it is cool when we don’t have to restrict dates to going to parades or lunch and can easily go anywhere fun without me feeling guilty.