You misunderstood my statement. You said “ Stop listening to negative statistics and stereotypes.” And to that I said I’m not listening to anyone but me, I did not mean I wasn’t listening to you Greg.
I haven’t missed the point of the article, I actually agree with Evan…

Why are you invested in my feelings Greg? If your perception of me is bitter and hypocritical well that’s okay, you’re entitled to your opinion as so I.

Try not to be so attached to my words. I’ve never said I don’t listen to anyone but yet you’ve said that I said I don’t listen several times already   and I’m not sure why you are putting words in my mouth but it’s clear you are the only one not listening because not once have I acknowledged I’m not listening to you.

You seem deeply attached to my perceptions about men being shallow, ironically I’m not the only one with this view but your invested in my words personally and haven’t went through the 100+ comments that appear to mirror the same view as myself. Interesting.

I stand by my statement take it or leave it….I prefer you leave it.

My friend found success because she wasn’t bitter and didn’t think all men were this or that.  She was just enjoying life and happened to meet someone while overseas.  She had a positive outlook and no she wasn’t physically attractive at all.. But she was super cool and fun, did the best she could with her looks and found someone.

You seem to automatically assume everyone is attacking you and that will scare men off.  I would tell you to tone it down a bit, but you already admitted that you don’t listen to anyone.  I’m not offended by your sweeping comments at all because I know they’re not true.  I’m just trying to kindly let you know that quality men smell bitter women a mile away and usually head in opposite direction.  Fair or unfair, decent men tend to assume that bitter women are emotionally damaged due to past negative experiences.  You don’t want anyone to think that about you.  So please cheer up a bit!

Why is it an issue for you? I’m taking a couple of years off to live and travel and hopefully meet a great guy. I’m taking control of my love life and I see nothing wrong with that.

As I said before if my shallow comment doesn’t apply to you then you shouldn’t really be offended nor defensive about this subject.

If I don’t fit into the category of black women that don’t succeed in marriage in the US then it’s up to me to change that. I appreciate you taking the time to respond but let’s not make this out of a huge debate and go on and on.

I’ve traveled and I know I’m deemed as beautiful and valuable as any other race of woman and now I’m making that move more permanent and I’m happy to say there is a huge community of black women doing the exact same thing I am doing and I feel it’s justified, no one should have to go without love and/or a loving partner, there is somebody for everybody and if that somebody happens to be in another country on another continent then so be it. Men travel, meet women in Russia, Brazil, China, Korea, all over the country and don’t get half the flack you are giving me.

I stand by my statement, if I change my mind it won’t be b/c of anything you have said so I think this conversation is going around in circles at this point.\

Oh and Greg I’ve been to Europe, I’ve been to Denmark, Italy and the men aren’t half as distant and shallow, I believe one woman here on this thread commented that she ranges from a size 4 to size 10 and European men loved her size 10 versus the men here in the US preferred her size 4.

I’ve traveled extensively and I can attest that my experience with men was awesome, my dance card was full, I dated way more than I’ve ever dated before in my whole life, the way I was treated is really indescribable, first time I wasn’t treated like a stereotype but treated like a real woman and coming back home to the same ole BS only reconfirmed that I needed to change my location if I wanted a chance to have what I wanted.

Going from invisible to being relevant was an awesome experience and I would encourage women of color to take that journey if she’s having issues with being seen as valuable in her own country, there are men out there that will appreciate you and value you just as worthy as any other race of woman, if you’re not having luck consider moving to a country that can appreciate what you have to offer.

” However, this is exactly what you’re doing.  You’re being emotional instead of logical ”

Oh and the emotional vs logical, seem like a passive aggressive put down as if my emotions doesn’t render me a logical thinking human being and this is why I don’t date men in the US, men like you are everywhere, I could throw a coin on the street and touch a couple of you in a matter of seconds. My emotions or my logic has nothing to do with my experience. I’m not crying or losing control, I’m saying men in the US are shallow and if you read through these comments I’m not the only woman whose said this and if what I’m saying doesn’t apply to you then we shouldn’t really be having this discussion.  

You do know that women can be emotional and logical all at the same time? We have that ability Greg, I know some men are limited and can only focus on one thing, one emotion at a time but fortunately women are great at multitasking her life and her emotional life as well. 

” For example would it be fair for someone to pass judgment on an entire ethnic group based on their bad experiences with a few members of that ethnic group? ”

No it’s not fair but it’s a REALITY, my reality. Have you ever been pulled over for being black or stopped by the cops for just walking down the street in an affluent neighborhood?  Have  been harshly judged for being a black man in the US? Maybe you haven’t but what about your male family members and/or male friends who have been subjected to unfair but real experiences in their own lives.

Listen I’m not attempting to get off topic and I didn’t create the stereotypes about black women but unfortunately I have to be in it, live it breathe it and experience and until you can say you know how that feels I don’t think what you’re saying is really relevant to my experiences. 

Josephine Baker is a prime example,  she couldn’t make it in America for the very same stereotypes about black women we experience today and went over to France and she literally was treated like royalty! It’s all about location IMO and if a black woman or any woman for that matter can’t get past the stereotypes then she must move on to a place were she is more accepted.  In America she faced racism and was very limited so she decided to go to France and in France she was considered the most sensational woman anyone ever saw.  My point being is my reality is going to be so much different than someone else’s reality and that’s okay, I’m not here telling anyone to buck up, you’re negative, I’m not here minimizing someone else’s experience.   I inevitably plan to follow in her footsteps and branch out into the world, I’m certain there is more to offer than what I’ve experienced here.

There are many women here that feel the same way in a different but similar context.   So Greg let’s not debate this because honestly you can’t relate, and you probably never will be able to, you’d have to be a black woman to relate and that you’re not.