Just know that the “exciting, shiny new car” that you bought last week will, in two or three years, just be known as “your car”.
That’s how things work. They’re exciting when they’re new and comfortable when they’re old. People who chase that exciting new feeling are the ones who are either perpetually single, perpetually trying to “trade up” in relationships, or prone to cheating because they feel that the grass is always greener.
Perhaps Barry Schwartz, author of “The Paradox of Choice”, said it best in Lori Gottlieb’s “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.” To paraphrase:
…what you should do when you’re dating is attempting to find the “6” with whom you can spend the rest of your life.
At some point, you realize you shouldn’t marry a “10”, so you go for the “8”. But once you fall in love with the “8”, over time, once you get accustomed to him, he turns into a “6”. Once the bloom is off the rose, you start to think you can do better than your “6”, and you break up with him, only to find another “8”, forgetting of course, that in a few years, he, too, will become a “6”. So really, Schwartz advises, what you should do when you’re dating is attempting to find the “6” with whom you can spend the rest of your life.
My wife did that.
You’ve done that, Marisa.
And I can assure you, when you sit back and watch all the lustful couples break up while you’re growing old with your soulmate, you’re not going to have the second thoughts you’re having now.
Instead, you’re going to wonder how you could have ever thought your life would be better without this man by your side.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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