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My husband and I haven’t had intercourse lately because I am pregnant and he’s afraid it will hurt the baby. He didn’t have a problem with it from the beginning to the 6th month. I continuously give him hints and touch him playfully everyday, but he still refuses to have sex. I like to sleep alone so I make him sleep on the couch and he understands that, but he likes to sneak back in later when I am asleep and cuddle up with me. Okay, I admit, not having sex for a while is getting to me cause I am still young and virile. So last night I went to bed naked thinking he would cuddle up again and perhaps have sex, but no, he didn’t. Anyway, I caught him masturbating to Girls Gone Wild and it hurt me. I don’t know if I should be angry or forget about it. I know it hurts my feelings though that he chose to masturbate to other girls instead of having the real thing with me… Right now, I just don’t know how to get over it. Because of his actions, I feel that i am not attractive to him anymore. Any advice? -Hannah
Oh, Hannah. You sound very young.
And because you’re very young, it seems that there a number of things that you need to be taught about men that older women have already figured out themselves.
So let’s start from the beginning.
1. Your husband is afraid that having sex will hurt the baby.
The fear is normal, if a bit overstated. The reaction to this fear is ridiculous. Have you heard of Google? I just Googled “does sex hurt the baby?”
Here’s what the Mayo Clinic had to say:
“Your developing baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in your uterus, as well as the strong muscles of the uterus itself. Sexual activity won’t affect your baby.”
Until you start communicating like an adult couple, your sexual problems are likely to continue.
Now that we’ve quickly dispelled that myth, your husband doesn’t have any excuse.
Of course, it’s not as simple as that. Because your husband’s lack of desire to have sex is not really about hurting the baby. In fact, it may start with:
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