A little history…I’m 28, divorced with two young kids, they live at home. He is 37, divorced with one teenage kid that he sees every other weekend. Here is my dilemma…. I can’t figure out if I’m attracted to him or the fact that he’s a good guy.
You wait and pray for there to be a good guy left on this earth and finally one comes along and you find him boring or at least not challenging.
What is that? Am I crazy?
He is completely into me. Calls, writes me letters, texts, takes me out, does family outings, asks about my day, washes my car, is clean, is fit, responsible, understanding, compliments me, etc, etc. We’ve been dating two months. We don’t get too much opportunity to spend alone time so we’ve only slept with each other twice. It was okay, not mind blowing or anything. I’ve had much better, but I’ve had much worse too. He’s relatively attractive but not my usual type or taste.
Am I being picky? Any other woman would think he is a great catch. I think so as well but just…I don’t know why I can’t get into him.
He’s completely fallen for me, thinks I’m strong, independent, beautiful, good mom, etc. wants to make me happy and for me to be his "girlfriend" and I can just tell the L word is coming along any day now. I can just tell and trust me, I’m not wrong on this.
Another bit of history…
So he usually gets involved with psychos that latch on to him. That is – the complete opposite of me. I like my space and I don’t care if I never see you again. Guys come and go but my family, especially my kids, are forever. It’s one of the mottos I live by. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. A guy in my life is "nice to have" but by no means a need. I think I’m a challenge for him, which is fine. But on my side of things it’s too easy.
From experience, happily ever after doesn’t exist. Sure everyone puts their best foot forward when they’re dating but who’s to say he’ll stay like that? Am I just jaded and not giving him a real chance? Or is just the reverse that I’m just not into him? Then the dilemma becomes do I let this great guy go and regret it afterward?
Can you give some advice on this? I have no idea what to do.
I can only imagine that thousands of women were reading your post and nodding along at the familiarity of your situation.
It’s pretty much the human condition. The people we want don’t want us. The people who want us, we don’t want. When there’s a rare exception to that rule, we call it love.
As I see it, you’re asking a few separate questions here. Let’s break them down separately, so hopefully you can find a little clarity – or, more likely, validation, for how you feel.
Question 1: Am I crazy?
No, Diana. You’re not crazy. You may be confounding to men, but you’re definitely not crazy and definitely not wrong….
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