Exactly as I pulled away from the darling girl who would have done anything for me, Miss NYC pulled away from me. When pressed, she said I had 90% of what she was looking for – but didn’t feel the necessary attraction to start a long-distance relationship.
And, in retrospect, I’m almost positive it was because I thought she was God’s gift to man. I kissed her ass. She walked away.
Much like you’re going to do to your guy at any second.
So… Question 3: Do I let this great guy go and regret it afterward?
Needless to say, I can’t tell you what to do. You can’t force attraction. But you know that great guys don’t grow on trees.
I think the X-Factor is that you’re a 28-year-old single mom. This means that you’ve been married, so you don’t feel the need to do it again. You’ve had two kids, so you don’t hear the ticking clock. In other words, you have nothing about which to panic. You can afford to be picky. Suitors will continue to line up well into your 30’s.
Your independent “I don’t need anybody” attitude is counterproductive. With it, you will get exactly what you’re asking for. Nobody.
If that is your goal, keep pushing away the nice guys and letting the bad boys take their shots. You’ll find them attractive, but they generally won’t want to stick around with a single mom who has all your responsibilities.
As for what you should do with this guy, it sounds to me like your mind is already made up. Therefore, you have my blessing to dump him. Staying with him when your heart’s not in it is doing neither of you any favors.
Just recognize that you’d actually like this guy more if he pulled away more and cared about you less.
A bit ironic, isn’t it?
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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