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When my girlfriend dumped me in 2004, I was beyond devastated.
We’d had an incredibly passionate three-month relationship.
You know the kind.
You say “I love you” within a couple of weeks.
You’re taking vacations together within the first month.
You’re talking about plans for the future and how “you just know” that your relationship is meant to be.
You feel like you’ve known this man your whole life and can’t imagine living without him.
Yeah, those are good times.
Except those times ended as abruptly for me as they did for you.
To her credit, my girlfriend let me beg and plead and cry and generally embarrass myself for three hours at her place. It was there that I learned that:
When a genuinely good person breaks up with you, you can only question EVERYTHING.
1) She’d been thinking of breaking up with me for a month.
2) She tried very hard not to criticize me because my last girlfriend was so critical.
3) She did love me but, as she got to know me, had concerns about certain traits of mine – namely my big mouth, my anxious nature, and my up-and-down moods that came with my up-and-down new career – writing online dating profiles at E-Cyrano.
So while I was still as madly in love with her as I was the day we’d met, she was slowly pulling away. Sure, I felt a little bit of distance, but since we never really fought, I just thought that it was par for the course. Relationships, you know?
It never occurred to me that my girlfriend’s feelings about me had shifted – nor that they even COULD shift. That’s how strongly I felt about her.
That’s how blind I was.
That’s how blind you are.
Especially when your boyfriend – like my ex-girlfriend – is a genuinely good person.
When a genuinely good person breaks up with you, you can only question EVERYTHING. Because you love him so much that you think his judgment is superior to yours. Because you think that if he concluded that he doesn’t want to marry you that there’s something WRONG with you.
I’m here to tell you that there’s NOT.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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