The reason I’m sharing this with you is not to convince you that you’ve never truly been in love (although it’s possible).
What I’d like you to consider is that the EFFECTS of lust and attraction have been HURTING your chances of finding love.
What you’ll notice is that when you’re incredibly attracted to someone, all of your critical thinking powers immediately go out the window.
This is why you’ll put up with a man who only calls you once a week, a man who doesn’t call you his girlfriend after three months, a man who doesn’t propose after three years.
When you’re incredibly attracted to someone, all of your critical thinking powers immediately go out the window.
If you were thinking critically, you’d never put up with this, but you’re not. You’re under the biological effects of lust and attraction – hereby known as “chemistry”.
And all I’m pointing out is that while chemistry is an incredible feeling, it is in no way a solid predictor of your future. It’s literally just a feeling. A feeling that masks your partner’s worst traits and allows you to put up with them.
So instead of chasing chemistry at a cost to your own mental health, take a second to realize that if you feel that high feeling, you are likely ignoring something fundamental which will later break you up.
You don’t have to trust me. Just look back on the greatest chemistry you’ve ever felt and think about how those relationships ended. Ask yourself if you want to be in another relationship where you’re always fighting and you never feel secure in your future.
I’m guessing you don’t.
If you want to find love – a love that endures – you have to find a new way than the one you’ve been using for your whole life.
Start by distinguishing between chemistry and love, and you’re on your way. And if you need a helping hand, that’s what I’m here for.
Sometimes you can be the smartest woman in the world and still have blind spots.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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