This is why you’ll put up with a man who only calls you once a week, a man who doesn’t call you his girlfriend after three months, a man who doesn’t propose after three years.
If you want to find love – a love that endures – you have to find a new way than the one you’ve been using for your whole life. Start by distinguishing between chemistry and love, and you’re on your way.
If you were thinking critically, you’d never put up with this, but you’re not. You’re under the biological effects of lust and attraction – hereby known as “chemistry”.
And all I’m pointing out is that while chemistry is an incredible feeling, it is in no way a solid predictor of your future. It’s literally just a feeling. A feeling that masks your partner’s worst traits and allows you to put up with them.
So instead of chasing chemistry at a cost to your own mental health, take a second to realize that if you feel that high feeling, you are likely ignoring something fundamental which will later break you up.
You don’t have to trust me. Just look back on the greatest chemistry you’ve ever felt and think about how those relationships ended. Ask yourself if you want to be in another relationship where you’re always fighting and you never feel secure in your future.
I’m guessing you don’t.
If you want to find love – a love that endures – you have to find a new way than the one you’ve been using for your whole life.
Start by distinguishing between chemistry and love, and you’re on your way.
P.S. Here’s what it looks like when you can do this yourself:
I felt so obsessed with this guy simply because he had lavished me with tons of attention, he was hot… has his act together and I was in the throes of obsession land; mainly because he was pulling back a bit, and I was feeling “not good enough”.
Instead of obsessing about how I’m not going to be good enough… I started thinking… “Y’know… I’m not sure I’m ready to accept a potential relationship where I might be walking on eggshells”
And I woke up feeling so FREEEEEE and in CONTROL. OMFG! I’ve never EVER turned around obsessive thoughts about a man into a feeling of control. Now, I have fallen for Mr. Passionate-moves-too-fast guy at least 3 or 4 times in the online dating world HOOK, LINE AND SINKER, so I recognize this in myself… and I recognize there is a certain type of guy that I attract that likes to move at lightning speed and THAT MEANS NOTHING as far as the big picture…
Evan… you’ve really changed my life. I just can’t think of a bigger gift than having control over my emotions when it comes to dating. NOTHING. No amount of money… no amount of success would have been able to give me this. This is almost BETTER than finding Mr. Right… just knowing I now have a monetary amount of control over something that I felt so powerless over for so many years.
THANK YOU EVAN! You have completely changed my life… probably more than any one person ever has!
Melissa’s a private client. You can be, too. Click here to learn about my custom coaching packages and find a new path to love.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
Do You Want to Attract the Partner of Your Dreams?
If so, sign up for my free dating and relationship newsletter and receive my free eBook, The 5 Massive Mistakes You're Making In Your Love Life - And How to Turn Them Around Instantly. Simple and effective advice to jumpstart your love life.