Comments on: Lying In Your Profile

By: Maddie Cartoonist

Maddie Cartoonist — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:00:47 +0000

Don’t worry about it…she’ll find out sooner or later. And then she’ll decide about whether to continue dating you or not based on the answer (& how she feels about lying). Like:

1) If your parents are living with you and you are supporting them/taking care of them: props! You look all responsible and family-focused–very good things! Just be sure to take her out as much as possible, to get away from the ‘rents/get private time and also so she doesn’t start thinking you’re broke/trapped by the situation.

2) On the other hand, if you are living with your parents and using their house/finances/intenet connection/laundry and meal service (even if you are “taking care” of them part of the time), you can expect the instant Death of the Relationship.

I’d never date a man who sponged off his parents in any way. You can “take care of your parents” and have your own place at the same time, you know. I’d rather date a starving artist who lived in a dump with no food, furniture, cable, computer, even a man with tons of credit card debt, no job, and no money, as long as he was independent.

Realizing that your parents actually need all the $ they have (& aren’t likely to get any more since they’re retired!), and that you have potential and a long life ahead of you and therefore need to get your own thing going, is a huge part of growing up. If you haven’t done it, you aren’t ready for an adult relationship, IMO. Also if you take your parent’s money, you have to do what they say. What’s attractive about that?

I dumped a guy recently because tho’ he is in his late 40′s and hates/is jealous of his parents (complained all the time about how Republican and materialistic they are, etc), I found out a few months later that his mortgage, his car, his masters degree, and his child support are all paid for by them. While he quits job after job because people keep “disrespecting” him. Basically he was a spoiled brat 7 year old, despite his age. You don’t get to dis your parents while taking their money, unless you’re under 18 yo and a bit of an idiot.

By: badboysvsniceguys

badboysvsniceguys — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 16:12:09 +0000

Katira – why go there on the first date, or even the third? When you’re first getting to know each other, focus on the fun parts of the evening, and keep the conversation light. You can learn a lot about each other by talking about your values and dreams, there’s no need to launch into complicated explanations about a touchy life situation. If your date asks about something you sense might have a Drama Aura, just smile and light-heartedly say ‘that’s a long story, maybe I’ll tell you when I know you better!’

I am guessing your disability is not obvious; so wait until you are sure this relationship is going to take. I would wait for ‘girlfriend’ status, and give it a good month after that. Wait until you know this person actually cares about you and is not going to be scared off by half-formed ideas about what the situation is. JMHO.

By: Katira Solay

Katira Solay — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 20:01:12 +0000

okay great but what about someone who is living with their parents, is 27 and waiting for a decision from SSA/Disability and works and supports herself and her bills and attends college? how do you explain that? i’ve been single for three and a half years and i wanna date but how do you do dinner with explanations like that? can you say TMI or uncomfortable silences? especially if they ask what the disability is or how it came to be?