Why all the touchy-feely flirting and kissing, if you’re just not going to follow up or call?
That’s the big question, the baffling question, the one that drives women mad. I wrote about it extensively in Why You’re Still Single and think that the lesson remains the same:
Kissing, flirting, groping, oral sex, tender romantic intercourse… doesn’t necessarily mean a thing to many men.
It’s just something that they do when they’re in the moment.
He’s out with you, he senses you’re into him, you’ve both had a few drinks, the attraction sparks are flying… why not make a move?
Doesn’t mean he likes you.
Doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you, either.
It literally means NOTHING.
To him, it’s just good, clean, adult fun.
What’s worse is this – he doesn’t spend much time thinking about the fact that you might have actual FEELINGS invested in him. He just thinks, “Wow, that was fun. Now let’s look for someone else.”
This doesn’t mean he’s a jerk, although he may be. It just means that you and he assigned different meanings to a night of kissing. Some people assign different meanings to sex, some assign different meanings to a one-year relationship. All we know is that people have different agendas. And you should never be too surprised when you learn that a guy’s agenda is different than yours.
If you can’t deal with the ups and downs of being crushed when a cute guy kisses you and doesn’t call, you should probably not kiss any more cute guys. But rather than that, I’d just open my eyes to the fact that people come and go, and 99% of first dates do NOT result in marriage.
And if that’s the case, try not to beat yourself up when it proves to be true in your love life as well.
I feel for you and hope that you get over this guy fast. The RIGHT guy will most DEFINITELY call you the next day.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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