Comments on: My Boyfriend is a Verbally Abusive, Physically Abusive, Emotionally Abusive, Sexually Unfaithful Man. What Should I Do?

By: Michele

Michele — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:45:50 +0000

I am one of these women, I will tell you exactly why I deal with it….past 2 years prior to meeting him, I had no dates, no relationship and no interest from any man. I am 46, physically fit, stylish, and alone. Being with him beats being by myself. I get sick of it every now and then and leave…..then the lonelies set in and I call him back. My self esteem is not low, I was not abused as a child, I lived in a loving 2 family home. My career is fulfilling, I volunteer, I put myself out there but have been invisible. Our relationship is 80% bad, 20% good and it beats nothing. How sad you say? Don’t cry for me Argentina….it beats nothing and I’m still looking for the decent guy….

By: elle

elle — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 17:07:33 +0000

First, you can believe that these men weren’t tools to these women in the beginning. Like a lot of guys do to win a woman, they probably pulled out all the stops wooing and screwing to win the women. Then, once they had them, all bets were off! I know, because the same happened to me. Women get very invested in relationships. Sex and romance are the glue. When he starts treating you like sh** you can’t believe it. It has to be your fault! You try harder still. You have convinced yourself if only I was fill in the blank he would treat me better because he is a prince (based on his prior behavior). You want things to go back to the way they are, and you are holding that ghost of the relationship in your heart. You are in love with the guy you knew at the beginning who was so considerate and sweet. I was trapped in a relationship like this for nearly a decade. I thought it was my fault that he was acting like an a** and of course he did nothing to disavow me of that notion. It took me moving away from him to finally wake up, as well as many teary eyed conversations with my mother to convince me it was him all along. But I learned something very important. I learned what love IS NOT. What it doesn’t look like and what it doesn’t feel like. So that was my tools gift to me. I lived and I learned. I’m happily married now.

By: Denise

Denise — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 17:48:22 +0000

I find it really sad that so many women have such low self worth. I have made mistakes in regard to men, but never have I endured ANY of this behavior, so it’s hard for me to understand.

What do these women want when they write? Validation that things might get better?

Maybe it’s therapeutic for them to write about this? Hopefully that’s the case and they can see how crazy their behavior is in regard to men like this, how they view themselves and realize they need to learn and do things differently.

By: David T

David T — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 14:16:05 +0000

Jamie is a co-dependent of a sex addict and needs external help in a big way. A man who demands sex immediately, has it in the house with a woman he is only just dating while his teenage daughters are home and is having sex with so many different women is clearly compulsive and not thinking of how he affects others. The well being of Jamie’s children (and herself too) counts on getting help. Please tell her to do go to http://www.cosa-recovery.org/ immediately, and visit this page. http://www.cosa-recovery.org/behaviors.html
I bet she recognizes herself quickly and will be in tears by the bottom of the list. She is not alone and needs to know that.

By: Cat

Cat — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 03:56:37 +0000

(Miriam, #82) This man has no respect for woman, is most likely uneducated and not raised to have class…

Education and fidelity really don't have much in common. Your Ivy League guy isn't less likely to cheat than the high school drop out...

(Louise, #83) He is manipulative and a borderline criminal who can spread aids around.

Let's remember not to vilify people living with AIDS and HIV. Yes, you & your partner(s) should get tested for STDs. However, someone having an STD doesn't automatically make them a cheater or a bad person. I've been working with an AIDS charity for over five years, and I've yet to meet someone with that disease who in any way deserved it.

I'd say a bigger threat is someone who doesn't get regularly tested, has no symptoms, and unknowingly gives you something... And yeah, it could be that really nice, educated, guy-next-door-type who's falling in love with you! 80% of people who have an STD experience no noticeable symptoms. One in four college students has an STD. Scary, right? Practice safe sex and get tested.

That said, I agree that anyone abusive isn't worth your time or your body!

By: Louise Krekic

Louise Krekic — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 23:19:27 +0000

Hi Corrine
The guy isnt worthy of even being looked at not mantioning sleeping with.
THERE GOES YOUR PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, MIA !!!
He is someone that doesnt even respect his own mother. He is manipulative and a borderline criminal who can spread aids around.
Louise

By: Miriam

Miriam — Thu, 06 May 2010 19:45:28 +0000

This man has no respect for woman, is most likely uneducated and not raised to have class…you cannot change this…most likely the sex is good and keeps you attached and you may not be financially independent. I have kept men around for sex but I know for a fact, this type of man is not relationship material and I wouldn't for a minute consider anything serious with a man who disrespects women via verbal abuse or lack of respect…you destroy your own self esteem when you put up with that. Try to become financially independent and get a man you deserve.

By: JuJu

JuJu — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:35:55 +0000

Okay, Michael and others who think this way, let me tell you how it is.

The only men women might take this crap from (and, mind you, this would take a particular kind of woman – insecure and at least somewhat emotionally messed up) are the highly desirable alpha males. I.e., those possessing a combination of physical attractiveness with confidence in their being god’s gift to women and disregard for social norms. These absolutely must be men women tend to compete over.

Those same women will NOT look twice at a man who doesn’t measure up to these criteria, regardless of how assh*lish his behavior might be, but will think instead that he has to run on his “hind legs” around them for them to pay him any attention.

By: Michael

Michael — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:21:58 +0000

As one can deduce from this article, men who are verbally abusive, physically abusive, emotionally abusive, and sexually unfaithful can be ladies’ men.

By: Sayanta

Sayanta — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 02:53:47 +0000

Michael- you sound like quite the ladies’ man *cough*