Comments on: My Boyfriend Is Staring At and Flirting With Other Women! http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/ Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:26:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: jaded http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-58346 jaded Thu, 04 Mar 2010 06:55:36 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-58346 guys look and i think most guys do even if they are in a relationship or even if they are in love.. girls look too.. i myself is facing the same problem. I hate it when my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs stare or look at other women. And guys will deny it and make an excuse of me being so  paranoid and insecure. I always tell him that even guys with tall, fair, beautiful, almost perfect girlfriends still do the thing of ogling with other women and talk about other women to other people not realizing that it could hurt his partner's feelings.. And so I told him that those guys can even act or do that when they have perfect girlfriends- i mean physically and how much more you??!!guys always deny..that's their nature especially when their partners are naggers and paranoid..the more they cannot open up things to you.. the more they deny the truth..they say that there's nothing wrong with looking or appreciating as long as there's no cheating involved.. I see the point there.. but still, I hate being in that kind of　ｓｉｔｕａｔｉｏｎ． guys look and i think most guys do even if they are in a relationship or even if they are in love.. girls look too.. i myself is facing the same problem. I hate it when my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs stare or look at other women. And guys will deny it and make an excuse of me being so  paranoid and insecure. I always tell him that even guys with tall, fair, beautiful, almost perfect girlfriends still do the thing of ogling with other women and talk about other women to other people not realizing that it could hurt his partner’s feelings.. And so I told him that those guys can even act or do that when they have perfect girlfriends- i mean physically and how much more you??!!guys always deny..that’s their nature especially when their partners are naggers and paranoid..the more they cannot open up things to you.. the more they deny the truth..they say that there’s nothing wrong with looking or appreciating as long as there’s no cheating involved.. I see the point there.. but still, I hate being in that kind of　ｓｉｔｕａｔｉｏｎ．

]]> By: losernomore http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-57237 losernomore Sun, 14 Feb 2010 02:18:05 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-57237 <strong>FLIRTING: </strong>A form of human interaction between two people expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest.  It consists of conversation, body language or brief physical contact. <strong>FLIRTING: </strong>Playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest. Therefore, kick the modderfugga to the curb, Karen.         FLIRTING: A form of human interaction between two people expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest.  It consists of conversation, body language or brief physical contact.
FLIRTING: Playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.
Therefore, kick the modderfugga to the curb, Karen.
 
 
 
 

]]> By: Helen http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-56323 Helen Mon, 01 Feb 2010 04:32:01 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-56323 Marie: Jealous??? Dump this chump; then any poor woman who comes after you in his affections will become jealous of YOU for having gotten away from such an obvious loser. Marie: Jealous???

Dump this chump; then any poor woman who comes after you in his affections will become jealous of YOU for having gotten away from such an obvious loser.

]]> By: Marie http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-56306 Marie Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:04:16 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-56306 I ask myself...what is jealousy actually really about, what is the insceurity stemming from?.  The feeling of losing someone, of being traded in, of becoming invisible, of not being enough...these feelings are what are evoked when I perceive over oggling, unnecessary comments, overt flirting.  It seems to severe a connection I think I have with that person, when he does that.  Another thing that comes to mind is pride.  My ego does not want another to lwoamn to look at me and be thinking, "loser honey, your guy just checked me out".  Many emotions come into play here.  The bottom line is, if one is prepared to love and lose, then jealousy is out the window.  If I want to be cherished, respected and adored I need to look at how that feels and presents itself and if the external reality with my partner is not matching...in any way, then its time to take time out and re-assess.  I am learning to not focus on 30 second exchanges taking over a whole relationship experience.  If I am good with me, then water of a ducks back to most of the niggly indiscretions.  If there is deliberate manipulations occurring, its about his insecurities.  The next time I am with a guy, and he does to me again what I have just been putting up with, my next strategy is...exit the place where it is occurring...go to the toilet, excuse myself to make a phone call...anything to break the energy of it. Oh, and for the oggling while I am in their company, I am going to carry a postcard of a gorgeous naked man and at the appropriate time, and to keep humour and light feeling I will enjoy my time when he is ignoring me. Love to all you girls who suffer from the affliction of feeling ignored and irrelevant a times.!! I ask myself…what is jealousy actually really about, what is the insceurity stemming from?.  The feeling of losing someone, of being traded in, of becoming invisible, of not being enough…these feelings are what are evoked when I perceive over oggling, unnecessary comments, overt flirting.  It seems to severe a connection I think I have with that person, when he does that.  Another thing that comes to mind is pride.  My ego does not want another to lwoamn to look at me and be thinking, “loser honey, your guy just checked me out”.  Many emotions come into play here.  The bottom line is, if one is prepared to love and lose, then jealousy is out the window.  If I want to be cherished, respected and adored I need to look at how that feels and presents itself and if the external reality with my partner is not matching…in any way, then its time to take time out and re-assess.  I am learning to not focus on 30 second exchanges taking over a whole relationship experience.  If I am good with me, then water of a ducks back to most of the niggly indiscretions.  If there is deliberate manipulations occurring, its about his insecurities.  The next time I am with a guy, and he does to me again what I have just been putting up with, my next strategy is…exit the place where it is occurring…go to the toilet, excuse myself to make a phone call…anything to break the energy of it. Oh, and for the oggling while I am in their company, I am going to carry a postcard of a gorgeous naked man and at the appropriate time, and to keep humour and light feeling I will enjoy my time when he is ignoring me. Love to all you girls who suffer from the affliction of feeling ignored and irrelevant a times.!!

]]> By: Marie http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-56303 Marie Sun, 31 Jan 2010 22:28:54 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-56303 Thanks Kenley.  It is sad watching someone caught up in their own game and trying to manipulate, I know he is doing that.  Joggers are on and I am away as of today. People wiriting on blogs about their relationships...we are dealing with various things in a person-the genuine connection, which then gets mixed and muddeid with ego and insecurities.  Trying to work out how to manage those aspects, so that the connection get to flow is part of completely loving a person...and when it gets too hard, yes it is time to hit the ground running. Thanks Kenley.  It is sad watching someone caught up in their own game and trying to manipulate, I know he is doing that.  Joggers are on and I am away as of today. People wiriting on blogs about their relationships…we are dealing with various things in a person-the genuine connection, which then gets mixed and muddeid with ego and insecurities.  Trying to work out how to manage those aspects, so that the connection get to flow is part of completely loving a person…and when it gets too hard, yes it is time to hit the ground running.

]]> By: Kenley http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-56286 Kenley Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:00:40 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-56286 As a faithful reader of this blog, I am starting to believe that if you have to write on this blog about a relationship issue, the relationship is not worth saving. Marie, drop this man.  Things are not going to get better.  They are going to get worse.  He is trying to manipulate you.  Don't let him.  Run fast and don't look back. As a faithful reader of this blog, I am starting to believe that if you have to write on this blog about a relationship issue, the relationship is not worth saving.

Marie, drop this man.  Things are not going to get better.  They are going to get worse.  He is trying to manipulate you.  Don’t let him.  Run fast and don’t look back.

]]> By: Marie http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-56267 Marie Sun, 31 Jan 2010 11:34:40 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-56267 I have been seeing someone over long distance for 8 months, a beautiful deepening and very loving communication and times spent together, like I have never had before. Then one night on the phone he said he was going out to dinner with very little detail which was unusual and my guts turned. Previously he had talked about all the women that were after him and ex girlfrends and I had no reaction, but this time I felt very disturbed.  That night he didnt text or call as was our usual pattern and in the morning, skyped that he had lost his phone and had it back by the afternoon... saying, I suppose you are angry with me, lost my phone...had a great night., got home at midnight.  All that appeared fine but my stomach didnt settle.  I was due to meet him in 4 days and the anxiety had amped up to almost an intolerable  level, never had this fear before. Then I observed the open flirting and the lines he used with me being used on waitresses!!...and he sent me away when we had finished dining to meet him down the road while he took his time. I said something about feeling uncomfortable when he held our poor waitress up for at least 10 minutes when she had tables to serve telling her about his assets and then turned to me and said"see, I told you Canadian women are lovely" like I had bagged her something.  That is when my smile dropped and my stomach started again contorting! Anyway, since then the communciation, I love you, miss you has all stopped and he said he wants to cool it abit becasue he is sensing that I am jealous and controlling and they are big issues.  We had talked about living together. My main thing is the shock I am in right now at the sudden change...and what I consider disrepectful beahviour, he is always looking at attractive women but he baits me with unnecessary comments. Is he unaware that I am not actually a bloke? Yeterday he mentioned on the phone that a young cleaner was coming...and added... in her bikini...I spat, because to me it was obvious deliberate nonesensical triggering-who does that? Then he turned it on me and made it sound innocent, that she was coming to use the pool and I had made it up in my mind that she was cleaning in her bikini. I swore at him and he has grounded me from contact for 2 weeks for hurting him.  Are some guys, so used to their lazy sexual minds and meandering that they just forget common decency..or is he setting me up to be insecure? I relate to everything Karen said...and my guy, God I have never loved someone so much but the change has been very strange. I am younger than him, very attractive and dont have self esteem issues, but trust and loyalty and respect are huge and I have not expereinced anything like this flirty behaviour before staged as being friendly.  I have said, look all you want, just not in front of me, flirt all you like when I am not around but I am having dinner with you.  He defends he is being friendly to the point where it may end our relationship because he will not admit its a bit in the grey area and has put me on a good behaviour trial. !!! I have been seeing someone over long distance for 8 months, a beautiful deepening and very loving communication and times spent together, like I have never had before. Then one night on the phone he said he was going out to dinner with very little detail which was unusual and my guts turned. Previously he had talked about all the women that were after him and ex girlfrends and I had no reaction, but this time I felt very disturbed.  That night he didnt text or call as was our usual pattern and in the morning, skyped that he had lost his phone and had it back by the afternoon… saying, I suppose you are angry with me, lost my phone…had a great night., got home at midnight.  All that appeared fine but my stomach didnt settle.  I was due to meet him in 4 days and the anxiety had amped up to almost an intolerable  level, never had this fear before. Then I observed the open flirting and the lines he used with me being used on waitresses!!…and he sent me away when we had finished dining to meet him down the road while he took his time. I said something about feeling uncomfortable when he held our poor waitress up for at least 10 minutes when she had tables to serve telling her about his assets and then turned to me and said”see, I told you Canadian women are lovely” like I had bagged her something.  That is when my smile dropped and my stomach started again contorting! Anyway, since then the communciation, I love you, miss you has all stopped and he said he wants to cool it abit becasue he is sensing that I am jealous and controlling and they are big issues.  We had talked about living together. My main thing is the shock I am in right now at the sudden change…and what I consider disrepectful beahviour, he is always looking at attractive women but he baits me with unnecessary comments. Is he unaware that I am not actually a bloke? Yeterday he mentioned on the phone that a young cleaner was coming…and added… in her bikini…I spat, because to me it was obvious deliberate nonesensical triggering-who does that? Then he turned it on me and made it sound innocent, that she was coming to use the pool and I had made it up in my mind that she was cleaning in her bikini. I swore at him and he has grounded me from contact for 2 weeks for hurting him.  Are some guys, so used to their lazy sexual minds and meandering that they just forget common decency..or is he setting me up to be insecure? I relate to everything Karen said…and my guy, God I have never loved someone so much but the change has been very strange. I am younger than him, very attractive and dont have self esteem issues, but trust and loyalty and respect are huge and I have not expereinced anything like this flirty behaviour before staged as being friendly.  I have said, look all you want, just not in front of me, flirt all you like when I am not around but I am having dinner with you.  He defends he is being friendly to the point where it may end our relationship because he will not admit its a bit in the grey area and has put me on a good behaviour trial. !!!

]]> By: Sayanta http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-53801 Sayanta Sun, 20 Dec 2009 17:36:07 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-53801 Claire, #78- The fact that you haven't kicked this guy to the curb yet is extremely depressing and terrifying. Claire, #78-

The fact that you haven’t kicked this guy to the curb yet is extremely depressing and terrifying.

]]> By: sun http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-53796 sun Sun, 20 Dec 2009 17:13:24 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-53796 <em><strong>Hunter:</strong> ...As for looking, I agree with Evan, the man doesnt’ have to be executed, for doing that…….I remember dating a woman, who, would point out, attractive women walking by. I won’t look other places, when, I have someone, I like, with me….</em>   As long as men are pointing out to their girlfriends all the handsome muscular guys they see, I guess it's fine.<em> </em> Hunter: …As for looking, I agree with Evan, the man doesnt’ have to be executed, for doing that…….I remember dating a woman, who, would point out, attractive women walking by. I won’t look other places, when, I have someone, I like, with me….
 
As long as men are pointing out to their girlfriends all the handsome muscular guys they see, I guess it’s fine.

]]> By: sandy http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-2/#comment-50057 sandy Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:29:12 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-50057 you know, i did read something coming straight from a guy that, all guys look, all guys are looking for something better. i'd love to here an honest answer to this question from some guys out there. If that's the case then we might become less fearful and concerned about males staring and looking at other females. It might even make us girls more independent and confident. you know, i did read something coming straight from a guy that, all guys look, all guys are looking for something better. i’d love to here an honest answer to this question from some guys out there. If that’s the case then we might become less fearful and concerned about males staring and looking at other females. It might even make us girls more independent and confident.

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