Comments on: My Boyfriend Is Staring At and Flirting With Other Women! http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:00:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: well well http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-254760 well well Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:03:17 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-254760 I'm supposed to move states to marry a man who said he flirted with other girls because his exgirlfriend didnt give him enough attention in the past and was looking to meet someone possibly. Then I see on his FB a little wink that he had a quick conversation with a girl named (whorish name for real) and wondered what she did for a living. (likely a stripper). He is social and a real charmer but that wont work on me this time. (some other girl says he was flirting but she is really crazy i beleive but i also think he is lying and just didnt admit it cause he relalized she was crazy) I am mad because it needs trust and respect for a commitment like was said above especially so in my situation, and yes it makes me look stupid. I am open minded if he wants to quickly look at a girl or say someone is attractive even to another person that is ok but i have my limits too. No I'm not worried about that whore or anyone else taking my man but i got standards. So i am going to ignore him if he calls me tonight he will get this speech and no i dont know if he is ready for commitment or if i will consider breaking up with him if he continues and if he tries to say im insecure that will be dick move number 2, so i will consider dumping his ass and will tell him i dont want to talk to him right now I need to think and let him off the phone and maybe ignore some more if he doesnt consider what i say he will be dumped...will give updates. I listen to my gut, and yes it kills my heart. I’m supposed to move states to marry a man who said he flirted with other girls because his exgirlfriend didnt give him enough attention in the past and was looking to meet someone possibly. Then I see on his FB a little wink that he had a quick conversation with a girl named (whorish name for real) and wondered what she did for a living. (likely a stripper). He is social and a real charmer but that wont work on me this time. (some other girl says he was flirting but she is really crazy i beleive but i also think he is lying and just didnt admit it cause he relalized she was crazy)
I am mad because it needs trust and respect for a commitment like was said above especially so in my situation, and yes it makes me look stupid. I am open minded if he wants to quickly look at a girl or say someone is attractive even to another person that is ok but i have my limits too. No I’m not worried about that whore or anyone else taking my man but i got standards.
So i am going to ignore him if he calls me tonight he will get this speech and no i dont know if he is ready for commitment or if i will consider breaking up with him if he continues and if he tries to say im insecure that will be dick move number 2, so i will consider dumping his ass and will tell him i dont want to talk to him right now I need to think and let him off the phone and maybe ignore some more if he doesnt consider what i say he will be dumped…will give updates. I listen to my gut, and yes it kills my heart.

]]> By: Nicola http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-248726 Nicola Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:42:31 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-248726 Evan, I agree with what you've said up to a point.  Whether he's unaware or not, I think she was being extremely understanding about it.  And her confrontation was as reasonable as could be expected.  Most women will not be that level-headed when confronting him.   When you're walking around with your boyfriend and he's openly checking out other women (aware or not...personally I don't see how he CAN'T be aware, but not the point) it sends the wrong message to other women. I've been that other woman before.  No matter how much a man loves his girlfriend, if he's staring at me, I pity her.  She looks like a fool. And some of the predatory women will see it as an invitation.  His rights don't negate this wrong, which, in my opinion, is a real problem.   He should sort himself out! End of story!  Evan, I agree with what you’ve said up to a point.  Whether he’s unaware or not, I think she was being extremely understanding about it.  And her confrontation was as reasonable as could be expected.  Most women will not be that level-headed when confronting him.  

When you’re walking around with your boyfriend and he’s openly checking out other women (aware or not…personally I don’t see how he CAN’T be aware, but not the point) it sends the wrong message to other women.

I’ve been that other woman before.  No matter how much a man loves his girlfriend, if he’s staring at me, I pity her.  She looks like a fool.
And some of the predatory women will see it as an invitation. 

His rights don’t negate this wrong, which, in my opinion, is a real problem.  

He should sort himself out! End of story! 

]]> By: tara http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-243429 tara Tue, 10 Jan 2012 10:43:48 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-243429 Hi Karen, Thanks for being so open about what you're experiencing. You have a legitimate reason to feel insecure. I would recommend being totally honest with your boyfriend. Tell him the things you told us. Its hard at first I know. But in my experience, after I started voicing my opinions and concerns, I only had the boyfriend thanking me in the future for doing so. There was no "oh, youre demanding way too much from me". It was more like he became aware that there were just somethings I wasnt going to put up with and if he wanted to stay with me things would have to change. Were still working on that really. I made statements like "you give the prettiest girl in the room all of the attention and that really turns me off. I want to be with a man who makes me feel like the prettiest girl in the room, whether I am or not." Which is true, and I will leave a man if he cannot abide by this. They are rare and few but some men just know how to treat a girl with utmost respect. And some discustingly dont, it hurts. Some women dont care and deal with it well. Im not that woman and I dont think you are either. Get yourself a romeo and I will too. I always worry how much more he looks when Im NOT around. People say the men arent cheating so whats the big deal -- well, its the principle that counts. I just hate that he seems to be thinking of cheating and will maybe fantasize later while in bed with me. Ugh the truth hurts. Do they not love us enough? Men? Help! Hi Karen,

Thanks for being so open about what you’re experiencing. You have a legitimate reason to feel insecure.

I would recommend being totally honest with your boyfriend. Tell him the things you told us. Its hard at first I know. But in my experience, after I started voicing my opinions and concerns, I only had the boyfriend thanking me in the future for doing so. There was no “oh, youre demanding way too much from me”. It was more like he became aware that there were just somethings I wasnt going to put up with and if he wanted to stay with me things would have to change.

Were still working on that really. I made statements like “you give the prettiest girl in the room all of the attention and that really turns me off. I want to be with a man who makes me feel like the prettiest girl in the room, whether I am or not.” Which is true, and I will leave a man if he cannot abide by this. They are rare and few but some men just know how to treat a girl with utmost respect. And some discustingly dont, it hurts. Some women dont care and deal with it well. Im not that woman and I dont think you are either. Get yourself a romeo and I will too.

I always worry how much more he looks when Im NOT around. People say the men arent cheating so whats the big deal — well, its the principle that counts. I just hate that he seems to be thinking of cheating and will maybe fantasize later while in bed with me. Ugh the truth hurts. Do they not love us enough? Men? Help!

]]> By: Cv http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-227395 Cv Thu, 22 Dec 2011 17:08:59 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-227395 Lostspirit and Sophi-- Wow, you both are absolutely right, I felt like you were inside my head. It's the most painful thing I've ever dealt with, and I just need to get up the courage now to make a decision about what I need to do. Break up and leave him, or continue this cycle of madness, anger, insecurity and hurt. Very very sad indeed. Bless you. Lostspirit and Sophi–
Wow, you both are absolutely right, I felt like you were inside my head. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever dealt with, and I just need to get up the courage now to make a decision about what I need to do. Break up and leave him, or continue this cycle of madness, anger, insecurity and hurt. Very very sad indeed. Bless you.

]]> By: KATY http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-226021 KATY Wed, 21 Dec 2011 09:29:19 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-226021 My first husband was the most wonderful , thoughtful,  and  respectful spiritual and wise man. I  knew in my heart that he was loyal..  real love is safe and because of it  i felt a deep inner peace, I trusted him and respected him I was loyal to him. I  never ever saw him turn to look at a women in fact he had too much respect for himself and me to ever do such a thing. I would point out a beautiful actress  or women to him sometimes. Because he made me feel safe and secure in the context of the relationship , I never felt uneasy  he was normal. We later parted  Now I've dated two men that stared and flirted with women one would even leave the table at dinner to go look at women. ..and this is what I have decided men who watch porn are addicted and triggered by certain types of  women. . Men are so consumed with staring at the women  careless about who it hurts, even if it destroys a pile of  relationships this type of guy needs psychiatric help.   Men that need womens  attention to feel okay are insecure and have childhood issues. Seeking attention of strangers  is a needy childish way of being and telling long winded stories is another insecure needy way of getting attention.  One day I was waiting for my BF to pick up tickets for a basketball game I hated going with him anywhere because he more of  a hassle so he goes to get the tickets e he was gone for a long time so that day all these festivities were going on outside the pavillion  while  he was  away a handsome guy asked me to stand on this giant concrete planter with him and smoke a clove cig, I don't smoke, but I accepted. While we stood on the planter  and I can see my BF and we watched him glued to this window looking at the back on this young girl she was with her boyfriend they were maybe sixteen . As we the handsome guy and I stood watching from this birds eye view ...i watched my bf  glued to window in same position for over fourty , looking at the back of this girl ,  by that time the handsome  guy and I  had smoked a few  clove cig,  the handsome guys turns to me says leave this freak now! Go out with me and I swear I  would never ever do such a freakin weriodo  thing. Please  let me take you out! That is when I realized that my bf was so totally crazy.   I left my bf ...sometimes you got to see things with your eyes for it to really sink in! Years have passed and he still has not been able to marry anyone he is now in his  late fourties  most of his early life is now over . He wants so much to marry but  volumes of women keep running  away just as fast as they can!He is in denial and clueless for the reason why.  He is a porn addict. When you get tangled up in this type of relationship it causes more hardship,  pain and insecurity  then anything else. Leave at the first sign do not waste years of your life hoping and praying. Just know God has better plans for you.      My first husband was the most wonderful , thoughtful,  and  respectful spiritual and wise man. I  knew in my heart that he was loyal..  real love is safe and because of it  i felt a deep inner peace, I trusted him and respected him I was loyal to him. I  never ever saw him turn to look at a women in fact he had too much respect for himself and me to ever do such a thing. I would point out a beautiful actress  or women to him sometimes. Because he made me feel safe and secure in the context of the relationship , I never felt uneasy  he was normal. We later parted  Now I’ve dated two men that stared and flirted with women one would even leave the table at dinner to go look
at women. ..and this is what I have decided men who watch porn are addicted and triggered by certain types of  women. . Men are so consumed with staring at the women  careless about who it hurts, even if it destroys a pile of  relationships this type of guy needs psychiatric help.   Men that need womens  attention to feel okay are insecure and have childhood issues. Seeking attention of strangers  is a needy childish way of being and telling long winded stories is another insecure needy way of getting attention.  One day I was waiting for my BF to pick up tickets for a basketball game I hated going with him anywhere because he more of  a hassle so he goes to get the tickets e he was gone for a long time so that day all these festivities were going on outside the pavillion  while  he was  away a handsome guy asked me to stand on this giant concrete planter with him and smoke a clove cig, I don’t smoke, but I accepted. While we stood on the planter  and I can see my BF and we watched him glued to this window looking at the back on this young girl she was with her boyfriend they were maybe sixteen . As we the handsome guy and I stood watching from this birds eye view …i watched my bf  glued to window in same position for over fourty , looking at the back of this girl ,  by that time the handsome  guy and I  had smoked a few  clove cig,  the handsome guys turns to me says leave this freak now! Go out with me and I swear I  would never ever do such a freakin weriodo  thing. Please  let me take you out! That is when I realized that my bf was so totally crazy.   I left my bf …sometimes you got to see things with your eyes for it to really sink in! Years have passed and he still has not been able to marry anyone he is now in his  late fourties  most of his early life is now over . He wants so much to marry but  volumes of women keep running  away just as fast as they can!He is in denial and clueless for the reason why.  He is a porn addict. When you get tangled up in this type of relationship it causes more hardship,  pain and insecurity  then anything else. Leave at the first sign do not waste years of your life hoping and praying. Just know God has better plans for you.   
 

]]> By: KATY http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-225977 KATY Wed, 21 Dec 2011 08:17:55 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-225977 He  was  abused as a child by his mother physically and emotionally  So I think the pain gets buried deep ...in the   unconscious Later  all women will be punished , degraded or disrespected in some way because it is the only way to try to get the abuse  and pain out however the pain is projected onto all women ..look at me I'm sick! So,  down the path you go with a immature sick man and there is no way you can build a sturdy foundation with someone when they are so BROKEN And I no longer  wonder why his ex wife has to alway win the child support stuff and nickle and dime him to death  she " kicks him when heS is up,  kicks him when he is down, and kicks him all around." I think she  realized  he was disrespecting her so she wants to paid for all the emotional anguish and pain and she  will get it at any price ...it appears to be a hefty price tag. I wonder if that is the price for creating so much  Pain her in the past. So no matter who this type of man ends with all you can do is feel really sorry for the women because she has to deal with a level of  immaturity,and a form of  emotional abuse. He  was  abused as a child by his mother physically and emotionally  So I think the pain gets buried deep …in the   unconscious Later  all women will be punished , degraded or disrespected in some way because it is the only way to try to get the abuse  and pain out however the
pain is projected onto all women ..look at me I’m sick! So,  down the path you go with a immature sick man and there is no way you can build a sturdy foundation with someone when they are so BROKEN And I no longer  wonder why his ex wife has to alway win the child support stuff and nickle and dime him to death  she ” kicks him when heS
is up,  kicks him when he is down, and kicks him all around.” I think she  realized  he was disrespecting her so she wants to paid for all the emotional anguish and pain and she  will get it at any price …it appears to be a hefty price tag. I wonder if that is the price for creating so much  Pain her in the past. So no matter who this type of man ends with all you can do is feel really sorry for the women because she has to deal with a level of  immaturity,and a form of  emotional abuse.

]]> By: sophi http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-225955 sophi Wed, 21 Dec 2011 07:52:45 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-225955 Honestly I think this whole scenario is either guy that is still a teenager because of previous addiction,  or he has been watching porn and has conditioned response to femaies or he is insecure and seeking reinforcement from women for his insecurities...no matter how you look at this type of crap has probaly screwed up a ton of relationships with women but the dummy still doesn'v connect the dots that it is a deeper underlying problem... This will tax your energy and time. If you invest in this relationship it will eat at you because if he does in your face what goes on behind close doors. You will lose more and more respect for him and over time you will resent him. That he does not respect himself more and lacks  respects for I believe that there are rules of conduct because you were not socialized and educated by the parent correctly does not mean you are no responsible or accountable for your actions of course if your four or five years old things are different Honestly I think this whole scenario is either guy that is still a teenager because of previous addiction,  or he has been watching porn and has conditioned response to femaies or he is insecure and seeking reinforcement from women for his insecurities…no matter how you look at this type of crap has probaly screwed up a ton of relationships with women but the dummy still doesn’v connect the dots that it is a deeper underlying problem… This will tax your energy and time. If you invest in this relationship it will eat at you because if he does in your face what goes on behind close doors. You will lose more and more respect for him and over time you will resent him. That he does not respect himself more and lacks  respects for I believe that there are rules of conduct because you were not socialized and educated by the parent correctly does not mean you are no responsible or accountable for your actions of course if your four or five years old things are different

]]> By: Saint Stephen http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-211902 Saint Stephen Sat, 03 Dec 2011 18:56:38 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-211902 @<strong>ZeneeLovee</strong> There is nothing wrong in starring at other girls if he isn't particularly acting upon it. Men are "visual" beings; so the earlier you realize that, the less stress you will have in your present relationship. @ZeneeLovee
There is nothing wrong in starring at other girls if he isn’t particularly acting upon it. Men are “visual” beings; so the earlier you realize that, the less stress you will have in your present relationship.

]]> By: ZeneeLovee http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-211851 ZeneeLovee Sat, 03 Dec 2011 16:36:14 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-211851 My boyfriend does the exact same thing , but yet he denies it when I seen him look/stare with my own two eyes. He also says that he looks at everyone because we're humans , but that doesn't make no sense at all. Humans are all just girls? Don't think so. I really don't think we can't do anything about it because my boyfriend has been doing this for a very long time after I already told him to stop doing it & he knows that I dislike it. I would also like to do the same thing back to him but I don't play games either way. It sucks to see your man look at other girls , especially when your right next to him /: My boyfriend does the exact same thing , but yet he denies it when I seen him look/stare with my own two eyes. He also says that he looks at everyone because we’re humans , but that doesn’t make no sense at all. Humans are all just girls? Don’t think so. I really don’t think we can’t do anything about it because my boyfriend has been doing this for a very long time after I already told him to stop doing it & he knows that I dislike it. I would also like to do the same thing back to him but I don’t play games either way. It sucks to see your man look at other girls , especially when your right next to him /:

]]> By: lost spirit http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/comment-page-3/#comment-209771 lost spirit Wed, 30 Nov 2011 05:05:49 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-boyfriend-is-staring-at-and-flirting-with-other-women/#comment-209771 This blog has just given me the strength that I need to do what is right. Thank you to all! I had split with my bf of 2.5 years about 2 months ago due to his disrespectful oogling and inappropriate eye contact/flirting. He claims he loves me more than anything and would do anything to get me back. But yet he still can't see how his oogling/eye contact has hurt me. He claims that he just an observant person and that he wants to change and has some learning to do. That was 2 months ago.My now insecure self (because of him) was willing to give him another chance because something about him keeps me holding on. We hung out one time a week ago and during that time I realized that I have lost all respect for him and secretly hate him. It's too late, the damage has been done. He has known for over a year and half that his actions hurt me. I told him in a respectful manner, an anger manner, had public outbursts, cried and have broken up before. But this last break up was my final straw. I tired of feeling inadequate and insecure. He has a serious problem. He literal thrives on the attention of other women and I think he always will. I have to understand that fully and move on! After reading all this, I am certain that he will never change! I deserve better and so do all of you ladies in this same scenario. These kind of men don't deserve us!  Best of luck to you all.  We can only control are own actions. So stand tall and carry on! A better life is on its way! This blog has just given me the strength that I need to do what is right. Thank you to all!
I had split with my bf of 2.5 years about 2 months ago due to his disrespectful oogling and inappropriate eye contact/flirting. He claims he loves me more than anything and would do anything to get me back. But yet he still can’t see how his oogling/eye contact has hurt me. He claims that he just an observant person and that he wants to change and has some learning to do. That was 2 months ago.My now insecure self (because of him) was willing to give him another chance because something about him keeps me holding on. We hung out one time a week ago and during that time I realized that I have lost all respect for him and secretly hate him. It’s too late, the damage has been done. He has known for over a year and half that his actions hurt me. I told him in a respectful manner, an anger manner, had public outbursts, cried and have broken up before. But this last break up was my final straw. I tired of feeling inadequate and insecure. He has a serious problem. He literal thrives on the attention of other women and I think he always will. I have to understand that fully and move on! After reading all this, I am certain that he will never change! I deserve better and so do all of you ladies in this same scenario. These kind of men don’t deserve us!  Best of luck to you all. 

We can only control are own actions. So stand tall and carry on! A better life is on its way!

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