Think of it this way – how would you like if if your wife held onto her old wedding photos and love letters from her ex (with whom she was still in touch) in a spot where you could easily find them, but didn’t carry your wedding photo with her?

My ex used to write some of the most romatic letters to me, but if I were to get serious with someone I wouldn’t flaunt them or expect the new guy to be comfortable upon seeing them.

But there’s anothe issue here. It would’ve been one thing if Marina’s bf had just left it at that. But he even said he’s ‘only interested in friendship’ – indicating he’s still in touch we her, and wishes he had more momentoes. So what if he’s with Marina instead – obviously this other gal broke his heart and he’s unable to move on. And as long as Marina allows this to happen he never will.

When I started seeing my ex-husband seriously, he took it upon himself to clear out a photo album of all the pictures of men that had held any significance in my life. I resented him for that.

Even though we are now divorced (from a marriage that never should have taken place) that ended bitterly, those photo’s taken through our years together, are very important to me. Not because I want to have anything more than friendship, or not, with any of them, they were all part of my life, and who I am today, whether good, bad, or ugly.

Even though (in most cases) we aren’t, and know we aren’t, we all like to think we were our lovers first real love. So if I were to enter a LTR now, they would not be kept in a place that would cause them to be a constant reminder, they will be going with me.

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I don’t look back.. in the way you describe as Nostalgia – I am suprised at times, how things went.
Like when I worked in Norway for several months, I had a email discussion with the employer, what mistakes I did (not insisting that everything was written down), and what I learned there (get everything to the paper, so they don’t say afterwards that “sorry, you get this much salary, not what we spoke before”).

Same with other things, I use them to analyse situation, not to live “in emotion, or in history”

Someone more wise said, that those who ignore history, are abound to repeat it..
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_said_Those_who_ignore_history_are_bound_to_repeat_it

I agree with that, also with personal relationships. Some have same problems over and over again, since they incapable of change, as they just want to forget.

What’s curious about this letter is why it’s bothering Marina after 4 years together. If he’s clearly not carrying torch for the ex… And it does seem odd he’s not saving HER cards and letters if he has a sentimental/saver mentality.

I’m convinced, largely as a result of encountering multitudes of losers turning their lives into monuments to their youth, that Nostalgia is cancer of the soul.

Whatever, though, I am not trying to impose my opinions on anyone (never had to deal with that in relationships either, thankfully).

But in this case, yes, exactly, what’s so telling is that the present relationship doesn’t seem in the same league of importance to the guy. I don’t know how she put up with that for four years.

That is 12 years of e-mails at this point.

I do, I save every email that I can, (I even copy text messages to my computer from my mobile before deleting them from the hand set), when my email from my student time closed, I forwarded all of those (personal) emails to my gmail. There they are still, and I like to know that I can check (if I want to) what I was at the time.
It is a sort of a diary of my life, if you want some sort of comparison.
(I dislike to diary-writing because it is not interactive).

I never look at what I save, but they are part of my past, and I keep them – every last one of them.
That person who says I have to delete them.. is out of my life as soon as those words are uttered.

I disagree – That is part of me.. what _I_ was at the time, and that can’t be a threat to anyone who has sane head on the shoulders. It is the same as the other would think that there is “sentiment” towards my highschool year pictures etc..

I really really dislike people who think that I should forget what I was, what was before their time. No person is worth that, then he just is unsuitable because he thinks he has a right to control me and what I feel and think.
No thanks – btw, and that is one of those things why I don’t like that many women, since they are behaving like are entitled to dictate what their partners have – as friends, or as mementos (or memories)