Comments on: My Boyfriend Wants to Be a Dating Coach – Actually, a Pick-Up Artist.

By: Steve

Steve — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:12:27 +0000

FWIW, there is a difference between a pickup artist and a dating coach. Read the book “The Game”, it is the best of the genre and the rest are essentially poor copycat works. In the book, pickup artists focus exclusively on getting phone numbers only. Even the star pickup artists in the book do not know what to do with women and their own happiness after that. The book honestly portrays them as fumbling around.

By: amy

amy — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 21:49:04 +0000

Hey Evan, I think you gotta get over this thing where everyone’s dying to get married. Lots of us really, truly aren’t. I mean I know that’s your clientele, but there are plenty of actual grownups who have no problem committing to other people while maintaining their own houses/apts and not being interested in the legal tomfoolery. Or having good reason to avoid it.

I could meet the GreatestGuyEverTM tomorrow, and I still wouldn’t want him moving in. Or to move in with him. I like my house, and no, I don’t want another grownup living here in it, man or woman. I think the default charge when people say that to the marriage-minded is “oh, you’re just selfish”, but I think you’d have a tough time making that stick to a single mom who’s shaped her life around her kid’s wellbeing.

Anyway, if chica here is worried about her guy, it’s simple: Follow him and see what he does. If he’s all flirtalicious with his clients, refuse the excuses and say goodbye. It’s also possible that the clients don’t actually exist, he’s unemployed, and he’s spending his days mooching around town.

As for room in the market: I used to work in corporate valuation, gauging companies’ worth by (in part) checking their position in markets against others. Business owners almost never have a clear-eyed view of the lay of their competitive land. Here’s what I see in industry after industry: There’s room for about a zillion copycats, because in the end what counts is marketing and the ability to take an opportunity, and it’s a big world with lots of opportunity. And in the end most people aren’t looking to make huge bucks; they’ll settle for getting by and hobby businesses. There’s getting-by and hobby money out there for lots and lots of people.

By: Some other Steve

Some other Steve — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 16:26:04 +0000

Were I a woman, I’d probably worry that the fellow would be beta testing new techniques before teaching them…

By: Hope

Hope — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 02:11:27 +0000

This is just my personal, attitude-filled opinion, but I wouldn’t want to be involved with a man whose career or passionate hobby was researching how to pick up chicks.
I think EMK gave the good, measured, fair, professional answer, and I agree with his reasons, but I’d like to add: Yuck! Your boyfriend enjoys pursuing women so much, and thinks himself so skilled at it, that he not only doesn’t want to give it up despite having found you, but he wants to turn it into a career and is hoping you’ll endorse it? Honestly, I think I’d rather just have a husband with a respectable job who flirts with Starbucks baristas without my ever knowing it.

By: JB

JB — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 22:00:17 +0000

Bravo Evan! Evan’s right. The first question I thought of was how old are these 2? Trying to be a professional (making your living)”dating coach/PUA” at this point in the world is like TRYING to be a professional musician. Get it. Music is free, so is tons of dating advice all over the internet. So the odds of Sofia’s beau becoming “successful” meaning earning a living is possible but not that probable unless he’s going to do it “on the side” for many years before he “makes it” while he works….dare I say it…. A REAL JOB.

By: DinaStrange

DinaStrange — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 15:26:14 +0000

I think this is what’s going to happen in the future. Women who have jobs will reject most of men and by the time they are ready to settle men will reject them because they are not in their prime. So two things will happen. Society will stop mating and/or men will start importing women from developing countries that have no other choices. Either way the future is hardly bright…capitalistic system of grass is greener and choices are infinite is screwing us all up.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 15:19:52 +0000

@Joe,
Seriously right?
I have plenty of friends who still own and rent out the houses that they were living in before they were married. I also know people who bought extra houses as rental property AFTER getting married if the husband or wife already had purchased a home.

Unless you need the money or it somehow becomes a burden why would you even bother considering that it can be a good source of additional income and a tax write-off?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 13:17:49 +0000

If you’re threatened by your mate’s dream, there’s either a problem with you or there’s a problem with your relationship.

If you cannot support your honey’s dream- for any reason, let them go.

You have no idea how good they will be at a thing until they do it. You’re not married. This is his time to pursue his passion and take those risks before you’re married, before you have kids and tons of other responsibilities. If he fails, so what. At least he tried and he will know that you supported him. That will mean more to him than anything.

My recent ex told me my goals and dreams were a fantasy and then broke up with me. She gave the occasional, “you can do it honey” a few times over our year together, but was usually so self absorbed in her own work, worries and fears that I never fully felt her support. You don’t have to understand every detail of someones business, but you can’t be a dark cloud hanging over their head when they are going after their dream. His job is to find his way and your job is to encourage him.

If you don’t believe in him after 4 years, there is something wrong with you, your relationship, or both. You may not get it, but you have no right to ask him not to pursue his dream. Whether he fails or succeeds, he will never forget that you supported him (or if you didn’t).

And for those of you with a dream, if your honey doesn’t encourage you towards your dreams every single day, your chances of succeeding are greatly diminished.

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 12:55:14 +0000

@ Vicky #3:

Why would you sell your house to move in with a guy? Rent it out.

By: SalsaQ

SalsaQ — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:44:50 +0000

@Vicki 3

Why don’t girls who live with their parents until they move in with their first boyfriends have this same problem? You might be right, but I think parents who don’t make their kids learn to clean and cook and fend for themselves regardless of gender are dropping the ball.

Also…really? 20′s covers a whole decade. Do you think someone who is 28 is still living with their parents? That is a red flag right there, even in this economy.