Comments on: My Fiance Has Money And Treats Me Well But He’s Soooo Cheap! http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:12:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Androgynous http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-227658 Androgynous Thu, 22 Dec 2011 23:35:32 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-227658 As an aside, I have to say that while I am a thoroughly modern woman, earning good money, fiercely independent and well educated, parts of me still respond in a "reptilian" or primitive way to certain stressors. In that scene in Mel Gibson's Apocalypto where the hero's heavily pregnant wife was forced into fighting off a panther/jaguar (?) to protect herself, her young child and her unborn baby - still makes my skin crawl and break out in a cold sweat every time I think about it. As an aside, I have to say that while I am a thoroughly modern woman, earning good money, fiercely independent and well educated, parts of me still respond in a “reptilian” or primitive way to certain stressors. In that scene in Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto where the hero’s heavily pregnant wife was forced into fighting off a panther/jaguar (?) to protect herself, her young child and her unborn baby – still makes my skin crawl and break out in a cold sweat every time I think about it.

]]> By: Androgynous http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-227647 Androgynous Thu, 22 Dec 2011 23:15:22 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-227647 Helen, it is interesting the way you brought evolutionary biology/sociobiology into this discussion. In the cases you cited, bird and fish do not "carry" their young. The young is deposited outside the body (in protective eggs or shells) that both parents are able to care for equally. In the case of birds, there is true (and equal) division of labour given the very precarious existence birds, especially hatchlings face (predation, mercy of the weather and seasons). Male and female are monogamous, take care of their young in equal measure and take turns to look for food. Birds are not social animals hence the monogamy and equal division of labour. Humans are so so we deviate from the "bird" model so to speak. Also, female humans in the past tended to be pregnant most of the time (usually not by choice) and so feel vulnerable to predation or attack. Try fighting off attackers and defending 3 of your young children while 8 months pregnant ! The only way she could ensure her safety and wellbeing, and that of her children was to depend on a strong healthy male. I think this explains the hard wiring in women's brains to seek out a male "protector". I think your brain would be wired that way if you had to live that way for thousands and thousands of years. Helen, it is interesting the way you brought evolutionary biology/sociobiology into this discussion. In the cases you cited, bird and fish do not “carry” their young. The young is deposited outside the body (in protective eggs or shells) that both parents are able to care for equally. In the case of birds, there is true (and equal) division of labour given the very precarious existence birds, especially hatchlings face (predation, mercy of the weather and seasons). Male and female are monogamous, take care of their young in equal measure and take turns to look for food. Birds are not social animals hence the monogamy and equal division of labour. Humans are so so we deviate from the “bird” model so to speak. Also, female humans in the past tended to be pregnant most of the time (usually not by choice) and so feel vulnerable to predation or attack. Try fighting off attackers and defending 3 of your young children while 8 months pregnant ! The only way she could ensure her safety and wellbeing, and that of her children was to depend on a strong healthy male. I think this explains the hard wiring in women’s brains to seek out a male “protector”. I think your brain would be wired that way if you had to live that way for thousands and thousands of years.

]]> By: jexy22 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-172716 jexy22 Sat, 20 Aug 2011 16:40:01 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-172716 Good grief.  I do not for a moment believe this woman is a gold digger.  She just wants to feel like this man truly values her; the way he values himself.  It's not so much about the money; it's about what he chooses to do with it that matters.  Love is a verb; we watch how others treat us by their actions, whether those actions involve money, time, thoughtfulness, generosity, etc......This guy is saying (with his actions) that she comes in second.  He is a multi-millionaire and she makes $45K?  That is a HUGE difference in income.  Girl, find a different guy. We all know it's not so much about what someone "gives" to you but rather what one is willing to "give up" for you.  What happened to the virtue of sacrifice.  I've never made more than $26K in my life but I'm very generous to those I love.  They may not be expensive gifts but I give what I can.  That's what it's all about.  Another truth about money - whether you have 50 bucks in your bank account or 5 billion - on your deathbed - you can't take it with you.  Remember the old story: How much money did the billionaire leave behind when he died?  Answer:  all of it. Find a less selfish man. Good grief.  I do not for a moment believe this woman is a gold digger.  She just wants to feel like this man truly values her; the way he values himself.  It’s not so much about the money; it’s about what he chooses to do with it that matters.  Love is a verb; we watch how others treat us by their actions, whether those actions involve money, time, thoughtfulness, generosity, etc……This guy is saying (with his actions) that she comes in second.  He is a multi-millionaire and she makes $45K?  That is a HUGE difference in income.  Girl, find a different guy. We all know it’s not so much about what someone “gives” to you but rather what one is willing to “give up” for you.  What happened to the virtue of sacrifice.  I’ve never made more than $26K in my life but I’m very generous to those I love.  They may not be expensive gifts but I give what I can.  That’s what it’s all about.  Another truth about money – whether you have 50 bucks in your bank account or 5 billion – on your deathbed – you can’t take it with you.  Remember the old story: How much money did the billionaire leave behind when he died?  Answer:  all of it.
Find a less selfish man.

]]> By: maria http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-75353 maria Tue, 20 Jul 2010 09:37:33 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-75353 What more do you want?  It's his money so he can spend it.  Do you want to live like a queen just because you know he's a rich? C'mon.... What more do you want?  It’s his money so he can spend it.  Do you want to live like a queen just because you know he’s a rich?
C’mon….

]]> By: Nicole http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-75023 Nicole Fri, 16 Jul 2010 14:15:37 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-75023 I have a story... I had a huge fight with a boyfriend who made anywhere from 10k to 40k for a website and I made 800euro a month. He couldn't understand that we could ever compare the money he makes with how much I make. He would argue he had more expensive bills and such but I kept trying to explain that regardless the money he has leftover is still more and so on. I never expected him to pay for me.. However if he wanted to do something like vacation in Dubai he would say I don't have enough money to go with him.. I would ask if he could consider doing something a bit more economical and his response was that he worked hard for his money and this is what he deserved... Always leaving me behind. This man was stingy. I only wanted some help so that we could enjoy things together. If I ever tried to offer to pay for something I could afford, like a cheap meal, he would get extremely mad saying he doesn't need my petty change.. So.... I was very confused.. And lets forget I said Dubai.. I live in Greece and we have our gorgeous islands so if he planned to go to an island then I could only go if I could pay my half at a 5 star hotel and restaurants... He always said he was not my sponsor. I do not, by any means, expect a man to sponsor me. And I'll take care of myself and I know that we will split bills or I'll even pay entirely sometimes. The guy I am seeing now is a student (going for his masters just to clarify) and I know he isn't swimming in extra cash but I offered to stay in and cook more, or watch movies at home, go for walks etc. however he takes me out and pays for me.. If I have something to offer that is great. I sometimes look for deals to treat him to.. I just got him a massage that was on sale for 8euro from 80euro. Money is not my issue but it should not <em>be </em>an issue. Sharing is caring (and it goes both ways) but if they are trying to help you out then that's all you can really ask for. Who wants a man to pay for <strong>everything</strong>? That's what daddy is for. I have a story… I had a huge fight with a boyfriend who made anywhere from 10k to 40k for a website and I made 800euro a month. He couldn’t understand that we could ever compare the money he makes with how much I make. He would argue he had more expensive bills and such but I kept trying to explain that regardless the money he has leftover is still more and so on. I never expected him to pay for me.. However if he wanted to do something like vacation in Dubai he would say I don’t have enough money to go with him.. I would ask if he could consider doing something a bit more economical and his response was that he worked hard for his money and this is what he deserved… Always leaving me behind. This man was stingy. I only wanted some help so that we could enjoy things together. If I ever tried to offer to pay for something I could afford, like a cheap meal, he would get extremely mad saying he doesn’t need my petty change.. So…. I was very confused.. And lets forget I said Dubai.. I live in Greece and we have our gorgeous islands so if he planned to go to an island then I could only go if I could pay my half at a 5 star hotel and restaurants… He always said he was not my sponsor.
I do not, by any means, expect a man to sponsor me. And I’ll take care of myself and I know that we will split bills or I’ll even pay entirely sometimes. The guy I am seeing now is a student (going for his masters just to clarify) and I know he isn’t swimming in extra cash but I offered to stay in and cook more, or watch movies at home, go for walks etc. however he takes me out and pays for me.. If I have something to offer that is great. I sometimes look for deals to treat him to.. I just got him a massage that was on sale for 8euro from 80euro.
Money is not my issue but it should not be an issue. Sharing is caring (and it goes both ways) but if they are trying to help you out then that’s all you can really ask for. Who wants a man to pay for everything? That’s what daddy is for.

]]> By: Caramel http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-41724 Caramel Fri, 28 Aug 2009 18:39:43 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-41724 For Johanus (147): I am not missing the point. I know what you are saying, but at the same time, why shouldn't she get something out of the relationship? It's not about a woman SELLING herself to a man, but in a relationship, you just dont get something for nothing. You men are always trying to justify something! I know if I were her, and he's just sleeping with me for a long time and doesn't want to give me money every once in a while, he is out of the door! Like I said in my previous post, sex is not for free! The more that women understand this, the better off they will be! For Johanus (147): I am not missing the point. I know what you are saying, but at the same time, why shouldn’t she get something out of the relationship? It’s not about a woman SELLING herself to a man, but in a relationship, you just dont get something for nothing.

You men are always trying to justify something! I know if I were her, and he’s just sleeping with me for a long time and doesn’t want to give me money every once in a while, he is out of the door! Like I said in my previous post, sex is not for free! The more that women understand this, the better off they will be!

]]> By: Caramel http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-41723 Caramel Fri, 28 Aug 2009 18:38:30 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-41723 For Johanus (147): I am not missing the point. I know what you are saying, but at the same time, why shouldn't she get something out of the relationship? It's not about a woman SELLING herself to a man, but in a relationship, you just dont get something for nothing. You men are always trying to justify something! I know if I were her, and he's just sleeping with me for a long time and doesn't want to give me money every o he is out of the door! Like I said in my post, sex is not for free! The more that women understand this, the better off they will be! For Johanus (147): I am not missing the point. I know what you are saying, but at the same time, why shouldn’t she get something out of the relationship? It’s not about a woman SELLING herself to a man, but in a relationship, you just dont get something for nothing.

You men are always trying to justify something! I know if I were her, and he’s just sleeping with me for a long time and doesn’t want to give me money every o he is out of the door! Like I said in my post, sex is not for free! The more that women understand this, the better off they will be!

]]> By: Johanus http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-41706 Johanus Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:35:19 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-41706 #145 - Caramel - I think you missed the point. The woman isn't trying to sell herself to the man. She wants a relationship. If a man wants to pay for sex there are other options. Same goes for a woman. Yes, sex is for sale in this world, but in a relationship the giving in the respect of sex is mutual and beneficial to both parties. .-= Johanus's last blog ....How to Set & Keep Goals =-. #145 – Caramel – I think you missed the point. The woman isn’t trying to sell herself to the man. She wants a relationship. If a man wants to pay for sex there are other options. Same goes for a woman. Yes, sex is for sale in this world, but in a relationship the giving in the respect of sex is mutual and beneficial to both parties.
.-= Johanus’s last blog ….How to Set & Keep Goals =-.

]]> By: Selena http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-41694 Selena Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:12:55 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-41694 #145 Troll? #145
Troll?

]]> By: Caramel http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/my-fiance-has-money-and-treats-me-well-but-hes-soooo-cheap-what-should-i-do/comment-page-3/#comment-41661 Caramel Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:39:38 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1559#comment-41661 I CANT STAND A CHEAP AND STINGY MAN! I have definitely encountered several in my day! As far as the money goes, if she has been sleeping with this guy for the last 4.5 years, why shouldn't he give her money? I don't know whats wrong with women today, but sex is not for free! We all know that we don't get something for nothing!! I CANT STAND A CHEAP AND STINGY MAN! I have definitely encountered several in my day! As far as the money goes, if she has been sleeping with this guy for the last 4.5 years, why shouldn’t he give her money? I don’t know whats wrong with women today, but sex is not for free! We all know that we don’t get something for nothing!!

]]>