Comments on: My Serious Boyfriend Doesn’t Know If He Wants to Have Kids

By: Gregg Tenbusch

Gregg Tenbusch — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 05:00:12 +0000

I am the mother of two teen girls and I love the show as much as my kids. I am sooooo sad to see it go. It is really one of the best shows on TV!

By: KJ

KJ — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 13:02:06 +0000

Thanks for your words of support Denise, you have mirrored the truth there, for both sides. Most wise

By: Denise

Denise — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 17:37:56 +0000

KJ, this is the most heartbreaking of situations. Where everything is there, it’s just something major or timing just isn’t there.

I give you huge credit for your courage and maturity to decide you needed to pursue what you really wanted in having childing. That was tough.

(P.S. I totally can understand why a 50 year old man would not want to start a new family. That is such a huge, long term commitment. I give him a lot of credit too for being honest with you, knowing he was probably going to lose you.

Hey, I’m looking for a 50 year old man of good character and family oriented, wanna give me his contact info???

By: KJ

KJ — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 07:45:22 +0000

I agree with Evan that if two people do not share the same aspirations, like about wanting to start a family together, the relationship is just treading water.
I am 32 year old woman and have just broken up a two relationship with a 50 year old man over this. He has 4 adult children. He is such a great dad and so thoroughly engaged in the experience, I was really shocked when he told me that he didn’t want any more kids.
I never wanted kids before and I have never been “clucky” but it seems that recently my biology has been catching up with me. This was our deal breaker. We tried to work it out and change each others minds but it was a core issue to both of us and neither of us could compromise on it.
It has been so hard as we still love each other deeply. For me it was the first time in my life that I was actually committed to the idea of developing and working on a long-term relationship. So, pretty devastating.
I don’t know if I will ever meet another man I will want a family with. But I do know that I would regret not giving myself the opportunity. This knowledge made the decision simple and I don’t regret it.
Being prepared to ‘walk away’ opens up your options and allows you to be true to yourself. If your partner changes their mind and you get back together – GREAT! If not, at least you’re on your way to finding someone else whose future vision is more inline with yours.
Best Wishes.

By: Kylie

Kylie — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 06:51:28 +0000

My boyfriend wants to get married and have babies so badly and worries and hems and haws over it weekly…he’s 31, I’m 24….I’m not really ready to get married but he keeps threatening to end things b/c he worries I am too young to take idea seriously and give him a serious answer about it….which is sort of true, but sort of not. Either way he wants it sooo much more than me.
I really don’t want kids either and he brings it up every now and then… It’s actually sort of cute the way he’s asked before he’s been like “so you don’t wanna have my babies? aww i want to have babies..”….and uck its so damn cute how he asks me all pouty and cute and I can’t just flat tell him “No” lol…so i just give him a confused look and say i donno…lol
I just worry my work life is in complete shambles now…and my relationtship otherwise is awesome….i worry having kids would pronounce the fact that i’m not bringing enough money home for myself and i mean i am still in college right now…
why do guys want to get married so badly at a certain age??? He really freaked out several months ago when turning 31….was just unbearable….maybe i’ll consider the idea down the road but not immediately like he wants so badly. : [

By: Lisa Lisa

Lisa Lisa — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 23:27:38 +0000

What’s the point? Longevity means nothing if you aren’t moving forward together, and if you both have significant differences…you want children, he’s not sure…

When will he be sure?

I was with my ex for 10 years and he never said he didn’t want children, until the night he ended it with me and said he wants to want them, but doesn’t desire them. To try and avoid the pain of breaking up, at the time I said I wasn’t even sure that’s what I wanted, but we both knew that wasn’t true. Mind you, it wasn’t just about children. We had been struggling for a while, but that came from lack of communication and real time together. Nothing I thought wasn’t worth at leasty trying to fix. I heard many reasons, children was just one of them. Strangely they were all about me and what I was or wasn’t doing.

I doubted his commitment to me for a long time…who wouldn’t after that long? Why do people stay together without commitment? I did, and now I am gutted.

Hard lessons to learn. Still love him, but he has moved on, rather quickly I might add. All the pressure is off and he is loving life with someone new.

By: hunter

hunter — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 22:55:30 +0000

I would have liked to have had a girlfriend for seven years.

By: Lisa Lisa

Lisa Lisa — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 22:04:24 +0000

7 years is a long time. Are you married?

By: vino

vino — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 21:33:55 +0000

As someone who doesn’t want kids, I can state it will rule you out to many women, many of whom may want them someday.

My experience is that guys in their 30′s (particularly late 30′s) who say they are open to kids are really ‘gilding the lily’ more often than not, so that they have more options. It’s not a lie, yet it isn’t a yes-or-no statement of principle either.

Guys who probably don’t want kids will say this so that they can keep their options open, and have the option of more women.

By: Jill

Jill — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 21:14:15 +0000

This is an older post but I’ve found myself in this situation I’m 27 and he’s 37. He’s not sure if he wants kids, I do. He wants a few more years to decide, we’ve been living together for 7 years. I love him but am scared he is waiting me out for I may not be strong enough to leave. Worst situation I could have ever gotten myself into.