Comments on: Newsflash: Older Men Don’t Want Women Their Own Age

By: Older men =Moobs (man boobs)

Older men =Moobs (man boobs) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:49:02 +0000

older men have boobs like women and are just “horrible,horrible,horrible” in bed. it’s horrible. women that like older men with these boobs either have a problem or have a young buck like jacob black or edward cullen on the side to get some real action, satisfying sex. women that don’t like attractive men have something wrong with them in my mind or they’re lying. who wants manboobs and disgusting sex over a nice, muscular chest to run your hands over? maybe a lesbian? just my opinion. others will vary. and this comment is not a derogatory put-down, it’s a fact.

By: Vicki

Vicki — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 19:35:53 +0000

Maybe people would stop trying to game the system by lying about their height/age (on Match.com or other dating site search criteria), if the dating sites themselves came up with a better system? Maybe let users determine an ideal height/age range, but still include profiles (on daily match emails) of otherwise compatible singles who are up to 5 years or inches off the top or bottom of the range?

If someone is 100% match *except* for being 1 or 2 years older than my highest stated age range, or 1 or 2 inches shorter than my stated height range, I’m not going to complain if Match.com sent me his profile anyway, since I might take a chance on him. I think most people feel that way.

I’m not sure I’d want matches sent to me that were 10 years older than my highest stated range – I try to always include a 10-year range, such as 37 to 47 or 39 to 49, since I think 10 years is a pretty generous range. But I am not a stickler for exact numbers. If my profile states I don’t want to date anyone younger than 37 but a 35 year old guy writes to me, I would read his profile and meet him if he’s otherwise a good match.

At this stage of the game (I’m 43), I just want to meet a guy who is honest, reliable and motivated. I want a guy whose parents are (preferably) still married and enjoy a great marriage. If a guy is a 99% match, but his father was a schmuck who didn’t treat his mom very well…. it’s a deal breaker, I’m sorry to say. I’ve met too many 99%-ers with that story, and it never ended well (i.e. I’m still single!)

I’d rather meet an 80% match from a happy, healthy family background than a 99% match whose formative years were impacted by divorce, abuse, a “deadbeat” or otherwise absent father figure, or other types of dysfunction.

Most dating sites, unfortunately, don’t include “Father was a schmuck, yes or no” as one of the dating criteria. They should, ‘though!

The book “Select Men Wisely,” by David Shade boiled it down to 3 essential qualities: high self-esteem (from having great parents!), intelligence and sexuality. Everything else is negotiable. Age, height, how many kids he has under 18 living with him, etc etc. All negotiable!

The book “Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others” by John T. Molloy states that while many men over 40 will date much younger women, statistically they end up marrying someone closer to their own age. (page 159) Almost half of men over 40 who dated, lived with or married much younger women were uncomfortable in those relationships and wouldn’t do it again.

According to Molloy:

Men over 40 are attracted to women who “take care of themselves” (i.e., haven’t let themselves go), dress stylishly, wear makeup, are congenial/relaxed/easy to get along with, and who display real kindness/thoughtfulness toward their dates. They like women who will fit into their lifestyles, with their friends and business associates. Many are divorced, and cautious, and need to know up front if you have real feelings for them or not. They also need a woman to be financially responsible and have her s*** together on the debt/finances front. Lying or changing the subject when the topic comes up will make him nervous. Just be honest about your finances. About 15% of men over 40 try to rush a woman to the altar. Take it as a compliment, but ask him to wait 6 months so you can get to know him better. Don’t just dump him because he comes off as “desperate to get married.”

Don’t assume you’re in a monogamous relationship – verbally insist on it. If your intention is to find a relationship that will lead to marriage, verbally state this early in your dating relationship. Many men over 40 are stringers who will never settle down. Dump them early and often. Women men over 40 marry usually insist on more romance, cuddling, snuggling and being taken out on dates, not just quickie sex and watching tv at home. Men bought flowers for women they eventually married more than twice as often as for the women they did not marry. The women in those relationships also insisted on doing more youthful and entertaining things and having more fun together.

Men over 40 who are the least likely to ever marry: those who actively and passionately hate their exes long after the divorce; those who have limited contact with their children because of the ex-wife; men whose exes have used their children against them in the divorce; men who are convinced they were cheated in the divorce and have decided not to pay alimony/child support; men whose ex-wives cheated/walked out/treated them very badly will be unlikely to ever marry again. Avoid those guys.

By: Jack

Jack — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 12:28:03 +0000

Thats cool. Lots of older women don’t want men their own age either. Men start to lose testosterone production at age 25 so they hit early manopause pretty early.

By: Dreaming Lady

Dreaming Lady — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 07:14:31 +0000

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. – William Shakespeare

By: Karl R

Karl R — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 14:42:40 +0000

Cat said: (#75) "it may be that women are quite aware that men mostly pursue younger looking woman. You can’t fault women for emphasizing that point when it makes such a difference to men." I can fault women (or men, when the situation is reversed) for completely missing the point. Men pursue women who look younger. Not women who say they look younger. Not women who say other people tell them that they look younger. Men will make that decision by looking at you ... not by listening to what you or other people say. Cat said: (#75) "It’s far better to say it (and show recent pictures to back it up) than do as a lot of men do," Did I strike a nerve? You're trying to justify a bad idea by claiming that it's not nearly as bad as a ridiculously stupid idea. While that's inherently true, it still doesn't change the fact that it's a bad idea. You're not backing up your claim with your recent pictures. You're trying to back up your recent pictures with your claim. If the claim is true, then the pictures don't need your verbal support. If the claim contradicts your pictures, you've decreased your chance of attracting the guy by being wrong (or by appearing to lie). Lose the comment about looking 10 years younger. Let the recent pictures do the talking. People believe their own eyes a lot more than they believe other people's words.

By: Cat

Cat — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:36:16 +0000

I see those comments more in guys’ profiles than women’s (and yes, you should always check out same sex profiles to see what competition is in your area. Someone commented in another thread that they were afraid to check out other women’s profiles because what would the women think if they see you in the visitors list? Uh, who cares? If you don’t ask them out, it should be obvious as reconnaissance. If they’re not smart enough to figure it out, are you really worried what they think?)

Also, Karl, it may be that women are quite aware that men mostly pursue younger looking woman. You can’t fault women for emphasizing that point when it makes such a difference to men. It’s far better to say it (and show recent pictures to back it up) than do as a lot of men do, which is say it and show pictures that are 10-15 years younger when they were in marathons and show up on the date fat, bald and liars… Although, I’m sure a fair share of women do that as well.

Just remember to add a grain of salt (or two) to whatever you read and see in a profile… You never know who or what will show up!

By: Cat

Cat — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:26:57 +0000

I’m often mistaken for 10 or more years younger by both men and women who are that age. In fact, they refuse to believe I’m nearly 40. I usually end the argument by asking, “how many women lie UP?” I never lie about my age, though I easily could. And would probably benefit from it in the short run on dating sites.

By: Selena

Selena — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:33:27 +0000

People don’t look 10 years younger to those who actually are 10 years younger.

When was the last time you mistook someone 10 years older than you to be your same age?

By: Karl R

Karl R — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:56:31 +0000

Liz said: (#71)
“Do you notice how every woman says ‘I’m X (years old) but everyone tells me I look 10 years younger!!’ “

In the past I’ve made a point of surreptitiously finding out a woman’s actual age, so I could later “guess” that she was 10 years younger than she actually was. This is sufficiently commonplace that I’ve seen a few women get angry if a guy guessed their age 5 years younger, instead of the 10 years that they were accustomed to.

I’ve also seen a number of women put their statement in their Match.com profiles. That’s like advertising that they’re gullible. If you really look 10 years younger than you are, mention how recently your pictures were taken … and let the guys draw their own conclusions.

By: Liz

Liz — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 20:58:38 +0000

Do you notice how every woman says “I’m X (years old) but everyone tells me I look 10 years younger!!”

Just sayin’.