How Come Everyone I Want to Meet Online Isn’t Interested in Me?

How Come Everyone I Want to Meet Online Isn't Interested in Me?

I haven’t found a solution for this. How does a 56 year old man find a good younger woman that would be interested in marriage and willing to have children by him? She would need to be 36 to 38. Most good sites line me up with the 50 year olds and most 36 year olds tend to think I’m a dirty old man.  I know that such a person exists but can’t find a good avenue to find her. I am fairly well to do and well educated.

Dale

Thank you, Dale, for acknowledging a few very common truths from the world of online dating.

You’re a successful older man who wants to date a woman significantly younger than him.

Websites generally attempt to pair singles with matches who are demographically similar.

Most 36-year-old women think you’re a dirty old man.

Now you’re going to get the same song and dance as every other guy who has written to complain about women on the Internet. I’m going to put you in HER shoes.

So let’s say you’re a 36-year-old woman, entering the prime of your life. You’re done with the bar scene and you’re very much interested in settling down to have a family of your own. How do you set your search criteria? Well, if you’re born in 1971, you’re part of Generation X. You went to high school in the 80’s. Your friends are buying their first houses and having their first kids. You probably want something that looks similar. So you search for men 35-45. Yeah, 45 is a little old, you say, but you want to be open-minded. Maybe he’ll still be vigorous enough to keep up with your active lifestyle.

And then you, the 36-year-old woman, post your profile, and what happens? You get BOMBARDED by emails from fifty and sixty something Baby Boomers looking to trade up in the world. You double check your profile to see if there’s something you wrote that’s attracting these older men. You remove that reference to Steely Dan. You cut how you want to travel in style. Yet these men keep on writing – talking about how they’re young for their age, how they’d love to have children, how they have everything in life except a good younger woman.

If you’re 36, you’re pretty darned confused by these emails. By the time you have your first child, you’ll be 38 or 39. Which will make him, what? 58 or 59? By the time the kid is in high school, Dad will be 74! That’s not the kind of life you imagined for yourself or your children. So you politely decline. Or, to keep things simple, you ignore. And ignore. And ignore. It doesn’t stop older men from writing, but at least you don’t have to explain yourself to a man who doesn’t want to hear your perfectly valid explanation.

Understand, Dale, there is nothing wrong with you being attracted to a fertile and youthful woman in her 30’s. Really. I’m not judging you. But you must understand that any woman you desire online has choices. Lots and lots of choices.

She can go out with a cute, successful man who is 35. Or 40. Or 45. Or 50. Are you getting the idea? This does not mean that you’re not a great guy with a ton to give and the purest intentions. It’s that you’re failing to recognize what most younger women want. A peer. A partner. Not a father figure. You’re still wrapped up in what YOU want.

Needless to say, this goes for ALL people who are dating online. … We want what WE want, even if what we want is unrealistic. We’re all so dazzled by looks and youth that we pass up amazing people who are a much better fit. Who are you going to have more in common with? The woman who graduated high school in the same year as you? Or the woman who could be your daughter?

“I can’t help what I’m attracted to,” say all of my clients – both male and female. And hey, I don’t blame them. I do know, however, that as long as they close their minds to dating people who are age-appropriate, they’re really going to struggle with online dating.

I know you were looking for advice, Dale, so I don’t want to leave you without it. As I see it, you have three options. One, sign up with one of those successful men/younger women sites. At least you know that a woman on MillionaireMatch might be more willing to sacrifice youth for security.

Next, since you can’t convince someone to date an older man, stop trying. To find out who IS interested, try Match.com’s Reverse Match. Instead of searching through hundreds of thirtysomething women who wouldn’t give you a second look, Reverse Match shows you who IS open to dating a 56-year-old man. There’ll be fewer numbers, but at least you won’t be wasting your time.

Finally, I implore you to give older women a shot. There are a lot of amazing ones out there and they are criminally underappreciated.

Let’s just hope that they don’t discriminate against men their own age.

 

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Comments:

  1. 121
    Ellen

    thank you Kathleen 121! I love your posts too.

    For the record I spent very little time on that cougar site, but did meet a handsome, fun, compatible and artistic two-yrs. -long fwb there, so it delivered.  I would never do a fwb again, but it kept me out of trouble I guess. lol
     
     Maybe we should all meet up at the Algonquin Hotel in NYC one day and meet in person. Thats where NYC`s most famous writers once met to knock back a few (like Dorothy Parker
    ). As we are all decent writers and above average thinkers , it seems appropriate, but maybe I flatter myself! lol

  2. 122
    jay says

    well as for me, i am a straight man that had been married at one time. i was a very caring and loving husband, and never mistreated her in anyway. she cheated on me with a guy who is 22years older than her, and i am only 10years older than her now. now you may think that this guy has much more money than me, but he don’t. she just turned out to be very trashy, and had i know that in the first place i obviously would have never bothered with her at all and never would have married her. since i am now in my late fifties, i need to meet a woman my age. as far as online dating goes, it is very hard to meet a good woman on there since many of them lie so much.

  3. 123
    Ruby Thursday

    @Tony Welton #57
    Why are you saying women in their 30’s/40’s (and younger men) have a hard time getting a date when this Original Post is a letter from a 56 year old man who couldn’t get a date? According to you, everybody (younger men, younger women, and older women) has a hard time getting a date excpet for older men.Try to take Evan’s words to heart while you’re here : Stop the fantasies. You are another older man posting silly fantasies and delusions.
     

  4. 124
    Jane

    I honestly do not know what the answer is in meeting a compatible person…I am a very attractive woman age 59.  I look to be in my early 40s…I am progressive, fun, free spirited, very active and could initially lie regarding my age in order to get a date, but where does that leave me?  Starting a connection with someone being a person I am not…but it is tempting simply because men see age 59 and wow! misjudgements about who I am & what I can bring to a relationship stop anyone I would authentically connect with from contacting me. The only ones contacting me are men in their 60s or 70s, which is not a bad thing but I know we wouldn’t connect.  It’s difficult to try and find someone that really ‘gets’ who you are especially as we get older.  I’m pretty much resigned to living my life without a partner.  I have had that experience, I have two grown wonderful children and great friends. Meeting someone compatible…I’m open to it  — but I’m realistic too.

  5. 125
    Rob

    to Jane, at least you have two grown children. be very thankful you have that, and what about us good men out there that have no one. don’t you think that hurts a lot?, and we want so much to meet a good woman so that we can have a love life again. it sucks very much for us to be single and alone again, that is for sure.

  6. 126
    jojo

    Yes, Jane, be thankful you’ve had a good experience and have grown children to show for it.  I have had two long relationships, neither eventuated in marriage or children.  The first one moved on to a friend of mine, the second one died.  Although I loved them both, neither was an easy experience – and I wanted children so badly.  Now I’m in my fifties, and beginning to get pretty disillusioned.  When I read things like this letter it causes me to despair.  The men my age who date women much younger cause me to despair also.  I’d never go on internet dating for just that reason – it seems almost too pragmatic and calculating when people list the qualities they want in a partner.  All I want is someone who loves me the same as I love them, who needs and wants me the same as I need and want them, who I can trust as they can trust me.  A grown up man!  Where are they?????

  7. 127
    jojo

    Oh, I forgot to mention – there has been a bit in the media about a site advertising  for sugar daddies for younger women.  Maybe that is the answer for men wanting that kind of thing

  8. 128
    Akasha

    When I was in my early 20s, I dated several men who were 10 to 15 years older. In my early 30s, I dated a man who was 8 years older. None of these relationships worked, not least because these older men thought that they were “wiser” and “smarter” than a younger person, especially a woman (chauvinism abounds). When I entered my 30s, I found myself in situations with younger men, like joining the Peace Corps at age 33 and going to grad school at age 34, moving and living overseas at age 36 and staying there. Now I mostly find that I am either surrounded by Baby Boomer men who think that the world revolves around them and that younger women from their country should be totally into them or men in their 20s who are looking for a free ride and free lessons in … everything. This may have a lot to do with the fact that I am 40 and living in Latin America, which seems to attract the older partying crowd or the younger partying crowd and where the local men and women hunt you down because you are from another country. In the end, I find it all very insulting. Then the men my age that are here are so used to being swarmed by women 10 to 20 years younger than them, mostly looking for visas out of the country or economic security — harsh, but true — these conditions exist in most developing countries. Sadly, I see both foreign men and women totally exploiting the situation. What I don’t see are actual, real, love-based romantic relationships happening in any sense of that phrase. Part of the answer, of course, is to move out of the area.

    However, when I was last in San Francisco, I found a variation of the same theme, esp in Silicon Valley. And a misconceptioin that a woman my age who lives, travels and moves around the world by herself is looking only for a fling and nothing more. Soooo …
    But, I like living and working in other countries, speaking other languages and having the freedom that I have. I’ve met quite a few couples who live and work around the world together. It’s all a matter of finding the right person, if you are looking for a relationship. Overcoming stereotypes seems to be an on-going battle, though. And shaking off the younger men. It is not flattering to be seen as a walking wallet and as someone’s potential free teacher/mommy/psychologist and, having had this experience myself not even being well off (I’m a sociologist — we make enough to live where we work), I can only imagine what older, wealthy men feel when women flock to them … just for their money. Maybe I’m wrong here, but it has made me question the motives behind any guy who talks to me.

  9. 129
    Bastet

    I tried online dating and gave up after only 2 weeks due to the bombardment of ‘dirty old men’. It just grossed me out. Most people guess my age as 27-33. I am 40. In real life I get the attention of men from early 20s through to my peers. Online I got the attention of men 50-80 and they all said the same thing;  they’re young for their age, the exception to the rule. Stuff that! Why would I waste my time with some old guy when I can attract men who are attractive to me physically, mentally and emotionally. To me, the wallet and bank account is of little appeal. Women can now afford to choose men for physical attraction and compatability. To me, I would prefer to be single than with someone Im not attracted to.
    A friend of mine is 36 and with a guy who is 52. They got together 4 years ago and shes thinking of leaving because she’s bored. She said he put on a great show of being interested in life at first but now that he thinks he’s ‘got her’ all he ever wants to do is watch tv. Whenever we go out, he is always welcome but very rarely joins us and if he does he leaves early. Her social life consists of doing everything solo. To be honest, I feel sorry for her. She a fabulous, young attractive woman AND she earns more than he does.
    Guys only going for much younger women aren’t thinking of the long-term consequences and reality of that age gap. They’re thinking solely of getting a young body to be with. Its insulting at best. Women want relationships with men who value who we are as people, with shared interests and a good social life and we want to be attracted to our partners. 
     
    Im sorry guys but a much older man is not attractive to a younger woman. 

  10. 130
    hunter

    ..Bastet#132, I think your girlfriend is due for a new lover.  To you, “the wallet and bank account are of little appeal”, how I wish more women like you existed.  Studies have shown the older man attracts young women. 

    1. 130.1
      QuestionsAplenty

      Oh, really? Where are these studies? I’ve never seen them, and I’ve read a LOT of sociological research on interpersonal attraction and relationship compatibility. The studies I’ve read almost uniformly conclude that similarity in all areas, including age, is correlated with increased relationship stability and longevity. Conversely, differences in all areas, including age, are correlated with relationship instability and ultimately dissolution. In layman’s terms, opposites may attract, but they don’t make for successful partnerships.
      Can you cite any of these studies that supposedly show women are more attracted to older men than to men their own age? And when I say “older” here, I’m talking about over 10 years older. Because, yes, women do tend to be attracted to men who are a few years older, but that’s in no way comparable to an attraction to men who are a decade or more older.

      1. 130.1.1
        hunter

        …I don’t recall off hand, try reading, The Evolution of Desire, by Buss, if it isn’t there, I’ll look through my stack of books….

        1. Erica

          You mean, there are studies that say women are attracted to men 20-30 years older than themselves?? There is simply no way.

      2. 130.1.2
        Johnson

        Erica
        Trust me, liaisons between 20 something ladies and 40 something men are very very common. Very common indeed. Not maybe it is not your thing but I assure you it is for many women in their early to late 20’s
         
         
         

        1. Erica

          Liaisons or life partnerships with children and everything? No, that’s not common at all. If it were, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation right now. 
           
           

  11. 131
    Ladyrealitycheck

    So sad that men devalue women their own age in favor of chasing a fantasy.
    When i was in my 20s, i never dreamt that one day, when i enter my 40s, regardless of how well i take care of myself, that i would become repulsive garbage to the entire male population of my generation.
    It baffles me.
    Thank God for family, friends, spiritual development and the love of the almighty who couldn’t care less if i am 20 or 40, whether i am blonde or brunnette, fat or skinny.
    There’s my .02cents.
    Cheers. I am off to do Yoga.
     
     

  12. 132
    hunter

    @Ladyrealitycheck#134,
     
    Sometimes I think our creator gave us our “20’s”, to facilitate  the selection of a lifetime partner,….

  13. 133
    AM

    @ Miss Julie 

    Miss Julie

    I have to say, Evan, that you hit the nail on the head here. As a 36 year old woman who has had her fair share of emails from 50+ men, I can tell you that you could have typed this blog entry right out of my own head. I am not interested in dating someone 15 or 20 years older than me anymore than I am interested in dating someone 15 years younger than me.?”
     
    Okay your comment may just be the most hypocritic comment I have ever read. What makes you think younger guys appreciate being hit on by older women. Much like younger women find it creepy when an older guy tries to get with them, so do younger guys. I am a 20 year old man on my junior year of college majoring in Cell and Molecular Biology. That would put me in the range of 15-16 years younger than you. Now lets say we were to get together and get married (hypothetically of course). Sure the first 5-9 years would be great, have a few kids and all that. But considering most women reach menopause in their 40-45s and lose most of their sex drive by then is a deal breaker. Going back to our hypothetical situation, 9 years later you would be 45, I would be 29. I’m at the peak of my sexual maturity and will probably maintain a high sex drive until I’m in my 70s and can’t get it up anymore. That is 40 years of sexless marriage right there. What makes you think your partner would remain faithful if it came to this point? He can get what he wants by dating a women on her 20s. Would you marry a younger man to just divorce him within 9-10 years, or have him cheat for the next 40 years of your marriage?
    Believe you me, as any other man who is in their 20s, I do love the idea of dating an older women but that is only because of the sexual thrill, as most women know what they enjoy by then and we have an easier time at pleasing them. But in no way do we ever think of marrying them.
    The thing Evan got spot on in this article, is that everyone should look for a relationship with their peers. That is at most a 3 year difference on either side. Not more.
     
     

    1. 133.1
      Gale

      This is so unfair to make a blanket statement that women lose their sex drive after menopause. It is highly more likely that men have sexual problems than women. With bioidentical hormones women can remain very sexually mature well beyond what many think. Some men I have dated have impotent problems around the age of 50. I am not interested in dating a much younger man but a few years younger would be fine. I know young women who aren’t that interested in sex ( they tell me). It really depends on the person.

  14. 134
    Leisl

    I have to say this is amusing! If you have money then simply go to millionaire dating sites there are plenty of shallow, cookie cutter, anorexic gold diggers dying to find a wealthy man and have a child that financially sets them up for life Is a major bonus! In fact, you don’t have to be in good shape or be attractive! You’re a man and it’s  a mans world. The problem is you aren’t advertising your most valuable assets ($$$) and your on sites that look for substance.  I am a woman with character and honesty, so you are getting the best advice for free!  Now take a woman any age something strikes her down and she can no longer care for herself, where does she place an add? No where, she waites life out until finally she maker ale an add in the obituaries. You men have it so easy! Broke and cute you’ll be fine with a girl around your age wanting to be yours, she’ll even take care of you. You can even find an older hot (left by her former wealthy husband for the 2013 Barbie) she’ll be your sugar momma. No mater what you’ll have choices, even if you put on weight you’ll be able to find a nice gal that doesn’t mind or you may have to settle for a heavier girl. They will all treat you like a king! Many men will still be writing this rubbish online & bathroom stalls and people will line up to read it. But what happens to that woman of substance? The ones who were robbed of the ability to throw up every pea they eat to stay thin while medication or ailments cause weight gain?  Who have sharp minds true understanding of men and there needs, she doesn’t have a fiery chance in hell of meeting a man who could look beyond what she’s become to see the beauty she was and still is, her heart is pure and when she gives it’s not of vanity but of herself. Why is she so undeserving of a good man with financial stability? That sir should be the million dollar question! And remember men with money you can make any woman with physical health look anyway you want her to, hair color, plastic surgery, personal trainer, personal chef. Heck you could even possibley fix the broken woman. You know you want this young gold digger, you’ll find her no doubt. Will you leave her after all is said and done when you both find she can’t have children? No, you’ll keep her till your bored or you adopt keep your trophy wife until you get bored. Just because a woman is young does not mean she can bare children. And just because a woman can be made to look a certain way it doesn’t make her worthy or even of value just expensive and high maintenance! Enjoy!

  15. 135
    hunter

    @Leisl#137
    ..feelings and thoughts blended/mixed together, is my summary of what you said…doesn’t get me very far…

  16. 136
    Jackie

    I think this guy should purchase a mail order bride of childbearing years who is desperate to come to the US and will agree to a transaction like this.

    1. 136.1
      jc

      Maybe women young enough to be your daughter are not interested in you. Stop harassing young women you pervert. Grow up and get someone your own age or just get a mail order bride but dont fool yourself, shes just interested in your mone. Better yet, if you like kids why dont you take care of the kids you had withyour first wife

      1. 136.1.1
        bobbybear

        Cant you understand where you are coming from? Don’t be so insecure. your a grown woman, I hope? Love doesn’t know any boundaries…think of the beauty of this…and you will understand.

  17. 137
    Salcedo

    Or another option if a guy is older and successful and wants younger women: Just leave the USA and find a wife overseas. The “age-appropriate” thing is unique to Western culture(particularly American). It is not culturally universal. Some cultures, young women actually PREFER much older men. For whatever reason in the West, 10 years is about the biggest gap people consider socially acceptable. In Southeast Asia, it might be 25 years. In a Slavic country maybe 15-20 years. Probably larger in Latin America too. In Thailand I saw 60 year old + guys walking around with 20 something women like it’s nothing. So here’s a clue, get a passport and find a foreign woman. The rules we are constrained by here with regards to age and dating are NOT globally universal.

    1. 137.1
      bobbybear

      Well, it is logical that she may only be interested in his money, but it may be love if it is crazy enough to be true. That’s the beauty of it.

  18. 138
    marymary

    Salcedo
    Friend’s brother married a thai wife who later divorced him and took the children back to  Thailand.  He rarely sees them.
    My brother’s wife is struggling immensely with settiling down in the UK despite having been here a while and having had two children.  Being able to speak her mother tongue in her own home is something she misses.  Also, her family.
    Of course, these things can work out perfectly well, but it’s not a universal solution.
     

  19. 139
    Jack Debden

    Well, if you’re amazed that men are attracted to young, pretty women, then I have to ask: what planet have you been living on?
    Joking aside, complaining about this is as pointless as complaining about women being attracted to men with money/ power/ property/ position/ arrogance/ bags of confidence / in a band/ bad boy etc etc. 
    It’s simply part of life – and we all have to deal with it. Very likely it’s the result of our conditioning over tens/hundreds of thousands of years. In other words, there’s probably biology behind it – but whether this is true or not, men and women being attracted to odd things isn’t going to go away anytime soon!
    Don’t forget: what women are attracted to can be just as baffling and – if you enjoy getting offended by things – just as “offensive”. At some point in their lives, Most men learn (to their GREAT frustration and disillusionment) that the women they pursue are NOT attracted to the “noble” or “wholesome” qualities they were led to believe: friendliness, politeness, “niceness”, sense of humour, honesty, fairness etc.
    Although a lot of women will tell you they seek men with these qualities, in reality they are absolute POISON to women in terms of looking for a partner (and let me stress: I am NOT being judgemental – this is just life, and I am sure there are sound reasons as to why this is the way it is).
    Then men begin to observe the kind of men women are actually dating and marrying: the bad boys, the assholes, the men who treat women badly, the guys with money, success, inheritance etc etc.
    And guess what: we find THAT creepy and disturbing and uncomfortable!
    And then we get over it (well, hopefully!). Because complaining about it is just sour grapes and utterly futile. It’s not because women are evil. They just want what they want – and they’re perfectly within their rights. 
    Same goes for men.

    1. 139.1
      QuestionsAPlenty

      Here we go again with the women-want-asshats business… 
      Why can’t you understand that most women LOVE chivalry, good manners, humor, honesty, and all the other qualities you mentioned? If you have those qualities and are repeatedly having no success with women, it’s NOT those qualities that are turning women off. It’s something else. It could be that you come on too strong too quickly, that you’re a poor conversationalist, that you’re physically unattractive…any number of things really. In my experience, the men who chalk it up to being just too wonderful are blind to the many faults they actually have. 
      Ponder this for a bit: How do you think all those asshats get women to begin with? Often by PRETENDING to be chivalrous, well-mannered, humorous, honest, etc., IN ADDITION to stylish, sexy, charming, and fun-loving. (These latter traits are among those that Mr. Nice Guy often fails to bring to the table.) Then once they get a woman hooked, they drop the chivalry, good manners, etc., and the confused, hurt woman hangs in there thinking she did something wrong and hoping to get her “good guy” back. 
       
       

      1. 139.1.1
        Henriette

        Hear, hear, QAP!  
         
        I’d also like to remind men who comment here that if they are dating women who truly want “bad boys” and a$$holes, then they should consider re-evaluating the type of women they chase.  A woman (or man) with healthy self-esteem and a good head on her (or his) shoulders will NOT want a relationship with someone who treats her (or him) badly.  Well-adjusted people want to settle down with similarly well-adjusted people.   Trust me: if you’re attracted to someone who wants to be “treated mean,” that person has issues and you should run in the other direction.

      2. 139.1.2
        hunter

        …I agree with you, I used to be a poor conversationalist….

  20. 140
    Henriette

    Hahahaha.  I love how the theme of “go overseas; find a young, grateful, eager wife there!” pops up so regularly on this blog (in the comments section – never from EMK).  By all means, go ahead and explore that option.  Please let us know how it works out for you, 10 years from now.
     
    Before doing so, you might want to learn a bit more about the truth behind these marvellous “Romances.”   This documentary is eye-opening http://www.mythaibridefilm.com/ and can, I believe, be watched online for free.  You can also check these out http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/relationship-issues/mail-order-bride  and   http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2320291/The-allure-yellow-fever-New-documentary-explores-white-American-men-aspire-marry-Asian-women.html

  21. 141
    Erica

    @Jack Debden,
     
    You got it all wrong. It’s not that those qualities in a man don’t matter, and they are certainly not “poison”, it’s that they don’t matter to women if they are not attracted to said man.
     
    It’s the same for men – you are not going to care if some woman you find unattractive possesses all those qualities, or even if she has feelings for you. If you can’t imagine being intimate with someone, their character strengths can only mean so much.
     

  22. 142
    Salcedo

    @Henriette
    My uncle has lived in Thailand for probably 20 years now. He has a Thai wife and they seem happy to me. I don’t advocate mail order brides. I’m not even saying men MUST look for younger women. Hell, I know guys who have a thing for older women. Everyone has their preference. I just say to older guys in America complaining that they are ignored by younger women, if that’s something you absolutely must have, just go to a country where the culture doesn’t stigmatize large age gap relationships. Many such places exist, and such a guy may find what he wants there. You only have one life to live, so might as well do what makes you happy.

    1. 142.1
      Henriette

      CAN it work out?  Sure.  But is going overseas and marrying a poor woman going to bring long-term happiness to most men?  I sincerely doubt it.

  23. 143
    Salome

    Thank you Evan for your truthful and reasonable answer. I’d add that it also stems from a broader male entitlement culture. Many men unfortunately are so focused on their own little desire that they forget what SHE wants what SHE desires what SHE find sexually and visually attractive. Like it was mentioned it’s an elementary lack of basic human empathy and general the consequence of someone who’s very narcissistic.

    I’m 21 and I’m dating a (very hot…) guy my age, we barely have a few week of age difference in fact and I wouldn’t exchange him for any old man. Hot young guys are fit, they smell better, plus you know, they don’t have the man-boobs and sagging skin (old man balls…eww!) and they’re just generally more fun to be around!

    Salome

  24. 144
    Paul

    Online dating has become very complicated to meet someone for many of us men looking to meet a woman to have a relationship with, and with so much going on in this world makes it much harder to find the right person to connect with.

  25. 145
    Lori

    I want to say Evan, that you are so correct in your response to Dale.
    I am over 50 with a child in middle school and I am not having much luck on every dating site I have tried.  I changed my profile several times to get the message out that I am what I am, and wish men stop judging a book by its cover. 
    In my case, I have had at least two men mention not being sure if they would date me because I have a child in middle school and they did not want to be part of having to maybe deal with an ex husband, or even to re-raise a child.  Even though I tell them that there are not issues between the ex about my child and that I only have her part-time.  Their children are already out of the house and there is little responsibility with them.  I was so disheartened.
    Anyway, I think this post was a good example of what people actually want and need to re-evaluate with this virtual way to date people.
    Cheers,
     
     
     

  26. 146
    judy

    Ha! So they line you up with 50 year olds? Shame.  And you being in that age category too? I can understand that you want children and I have seen a 30 year old woman marry a man of 40. And they are happy and have children.
    I get pissed off when I read that 50 years old are…….grandmothers who have to eat their evening meal at 4.30 and all they want in life is……..their slippers or whatever.  Maybe put our false teeth in a glass (I don’t have false teeth) for you to look at in the morning.  How sexy.
    Why not find out what these older women are like? Date them.  We’re not all repulsive.
    Incidentally, at my grand age of nearly 60, I have pulled men of 35.  They nearly died when I told them my age.  That’s okay.  We had a good time.
    So……..a 55 year old woman can’t give you children? And a younger woman can. 
    Great for the kid I must say – when the kid’s 20 – you’re in your 70s.  Nothing bad about that I suppose – except…..that most of the kids’ parents will be much younger than you.
    Age prejudice goes both ways (:).

  27. 147
    LuckyMe2013

    Well, I have an advice to Dale: do not give up. There are thousands of girls out there in their mid-thirties that would love to meet a guy like you. Yes, most of them are not American – but I think that it actually is a plus in their favor. Keep on pursuing your dream!

  28. 148
    True Answer

    Online Dating is so very Pathetic these days, and with so many very Mentally Disturbed People out there it certainly makes it worse to really trust that person. I have heard many Horror Stories about Online dating, so good luck with that. It is very risky, and you don’t know what you are getting into. I am hoping to meet a good woman to settle down with, and being introduced would be the best way to go if you know someone that they would know.

  29. 149
    hunter

    @150,
     
    …yes, many single american women out there, mostly, out and about, during the daylight hours….

  30. 150
    Brandon

    Sorry guys. This is about 1 thing
    Money
    If as a 56 yearold you are wealthy you will have no problem getting a 36 year old woman. But you wont need a site like this to do it. Your social movments will throw them in your path.
    If youre not wealthy and your evenings are all about watching the latest ABC sitcom having driven home from your 9-5 job in a Nissan Ultima, then forget it.
    Life is not that complicated. And to the 42 year old ladies complaining about their male peers looking at younger women? Well, didnt you enjoy the attention of the Silver Fox boss when you were 28?
     
     

    1. 150.1
      Brianna

      Hate to break it to you, but most women actually care way more about a guy’s personality (and age, followed by looks) than how much money he makes. Those who are after money are in the minority, and they usually have little to offer to this world on their own.

      I’m 23 years old, and a 37-year-old man I work with has been pursuing me since I set foot in the office. He’s one of the higher-ups and makes a lot, but I’m just not interested. The idiot keeps saying he’ll buy me things and take me to nice places, but he doesn’t get that that stuff isn’t that high on my list. I wish he would just leave me alone :/

      1. 150.1.1
        avery_t

        Right. But in eight years, when you want to have kids and want a man who can send them to private school, money may matter more.

        A 36 year odl woman wants a husband who can pay for Botox in five years.

        A 56 yr old pursuing a 36 yr old is quite different from a 37 yr old pursuing a 23 yr old. At 36, a woman has more concern about money and finding a provider.

      2. 150.1.2
        Brandon

        Brianna

        You are in the minority.

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