How Many Emails Do The Most Attractive Women Get Online?

How Many Emails Do The Most Attractive Women Get Online?

In preparation for my free teleclass next Tuesday, I’m going to be asking two new online questions each day and would greatly appreciate your responses. With your participation, I think we can all learn something fundamental about online dating. So here’s my first question:

How many emails do you think the most attractive women in their 20’s and 30’s get per a week on a major dating site?

Please respond in the comments below.

Talk to you soon!


P.S. Don’t worry – our regular Thursday reader questions will still be answered as long as I’m in town.

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  1. 211

    I’m a 31 year old very attractive female that gets absolutely inundated with emails from guys on pof!! It can be a pain in the butt especially considering the sad fact that pretty much all the guys that write me I’m not interested in…now I’ve been off and on Match for some time but I’ve never been overwhelmed with emails! Match baffles the hell out of me!! Also my response rate to emails I send out is less than 10%-pretty humiliating!! Bizarre thing is that I’m the “hot” girl (although I don’t write to “hot” guys)- I don’t know if it’s that I’m 35 minutes from Miami (where most young professionals live here) oh so far lol (I’m being sarcastic)or maybe that I make more money than most of the men??!!

    1. 211.1

      My opinion–after being on Match, POF, and OKC–is that Match has a BUNCH of fake profiles.  Most of the guys I heard from on Match were scam profiles.  I think that’s why you got so few responses.

    2. 211.2

      ” Also my response rate to emails I send out is less than 10%-pretty humiliating!!”

      If you think that is humiliating, can you imagine the hundreds of thousands of men out there being humiliated right now?

      You say that you have no interest in any of the slews of men that write to you. But you think it is weird that the few (by comparison) men that you’ve written to aren’t interested in you? Logically, it doesn’t seem bizarre at all. The initiator bears the burden of rejection. These men writing you are attempting to pass you the ball. You don’t want it. Pass incomplete. You tried to pass some men the ball and felt humiliated when you got the same result. You can’t control whether the other person wants you or not. You just have to be smart, put in the effort and hope for the best.

  2. 212

    Hi. Well I’m a 44 year old women and I receive on average 15 to 20 emails a day and probably around 50 winks.

  3. 213

    I’m 59 and recently put up a profile on POF and OKCupid. I had a great photo and a fantastic profile (I received MANY comments from men of all ages about how I had the most fun profile they’d ever seen). I didn’t place close attention to my numbers but I averaged around 150-200/wk for the first couple of weeks on OKC, then it dropped to about 50-60/wk on OKC.  I don’t remember the number on POF, but it was less. It was overwhelming, since (as someone else mentioned), I wanted to send polite responses to out-of-towners (I’m only interested in dating locally). So I’d guess a YOUNG, gorgeous woman would get in the neighborhood of 400-500 a week.

    After 6 weeks and 6 First Dates, I suspended both my profiles because I was so overwhelmed by the number of responses and so disappointed by the dates. One super-nice guy I had nothing in common with, one guy who couldn’t keep his hands off me and didn’t stop talking for 4 hours, one guy who didn’t stop talking for 3 hours, 2 guys obviously looking for a sugar momma, and one who made a super-creepy sex abuse joke.

    I’m not gorgeous but I had one photo that was particularly great, which I used as the search photo.  I made sure the rest of the photos showed the real me, and even said in my profile that I look my age, and to “please look at all my photos to check out my wrinkles.” (Yes, it was a humorous profile.)  The main thing I had learned from a previous attempt on was not to wear my glasses in the search picture–nobody would even look at me!



  4. 214

    I’m a young female physician in a moderately big city and got 400 emails by day 4 and 1611 profile views by day 6, and my profile was hidden about 1/3 of that time. Then I got totally freaked out and took it down.

  5. 215

    I opened a pof (plenty of fish) account this morning which is the first dating site I have ever done. I wont be doing one again either. After 17 hours of my profile being active I had 47 messages and 122 “meet me” requests. I had never been on a site like this and quite honestly it did not feel respectful at all, not saying anyone was rude to me but as the “meet me” requests continued to climb I felt as if I should be calling someone to be my pimp and another to be my bodyguard. Even thoughI had set criteria I was still getting requests from 27 year old boys and Im 42!!! My oldest son is almost 24…I dont want to date his friends..geeesh! My profile also is set at I”m not looking for a relationship” cuz basically Im looking for friends that can help me expand on my knowledge of life skills & hang out casually and have innocent fun. I got soooo many messages and meet me requests for men actively looking for a relatonship. So in my 20 hour experience on a dating site I felt like a piece of meat and not truly being heard for what I was looking for by being on there…okay rant over, sorry! Lol

  6. 216
    Xen Baby

    I was getting 200-300 per day on match, Washington DC.  Had to close my account…   Match could really turn things around if they limited the number of messages men could send.  Say 5 per day.  And to send more, should be $5 per message.  However, waive the $5 if I wink, view, or like your profile.  Design the website to be more like real world interaction.

    A dating site should also be more exclusive.  A waiting list to join until the male female ratios are 50/50.  $1,000 to join upfront to skip the waiting list.

  7. 217
    Xen Baby

    200-300 per day.  Disgusting

  8. 218

    This post isn’t dated, so I don’t know if my response is irrelevant at this point. I’m on POF and Match, just recently out of an 8.5 year relationship. I’m an attractive, fit 30 y/o, female. I get about 400 views/week on Match and probably 70 emails/week. And on POF, which I just joined yesterday, I received over 400 views my first 24 hours and 100 emails. Definitely a pain to sift through when the majority are just “Hey, how are you”.

  9. 219

    I’m 22 I get around 100 a day and I’m not even in the top group I’m a 7 out of ten if that hope this helps 🙂

  10. 220

    I joined POF when I was 19, recently 20 and I had to turn off the notifications after a few hours of having the app…I receive over 100 messages a day with many of the guys messaging again after I don’t respond with an Angry message 👍🏽😂

  11. 221

    I got over 600 likes in 24 hours on ok Cupid. I’m in the suburbs, not a metropolis.

  12. 222

    It depends if they wear makeup. I’ve been told that with makeup I am a 6 . When I put up a profile on OkCupid with my face made up I got 42 messages and around 200 likes in one week. Btw I was in my early 30s then.

  13. 223

    I have to show my face with no makeup PLUS I choose the photos where I look very average. I get 1 email a day :)))))))))) I also plan to not wear makeup on the dates.

  14. 224

    Well, I’m neither young nor beautiful.  My ad says I’m 42 which is a lie.  (I’m a touch younger, but adjusted my age up to be nearer menopause and the the end of baby-making possibilities.)  Anyway, I sometimes get over 20 messages from new men in a single day, so I can’t imagine what young, good looking, fertile women get.  It’s easy to see why they are overwhelmed.  Heck, I’m overwhelmed just sorting through what I get and trying to remember who is which in future correspondence.

  15. 225

    27, red hair, active, making >125k, living in a large city… I would get hundreds a day, per each dating site I was using (Match, Tinder, OKC). It was too much, and I was so overwhelmed that I cried.

  16. 226

    I am a 21 year old attractive, petite female. I have had my profile up for about 18 hours and have received 450+ likes and 200+ messages. I do not have any provacative photos and stated I am looking for a long-term relationship.

  17. 227

    I am in my early thirties, tall, thin, blonde, pretty. I’m on match. I get about 20-30 messages a day, but only about 3 or 4 of them are actual real messages. Most are “hi, how are you?” or a generic email with some piece of my profile copied and pasted into it.

    It’s easy to manage the emails. I read them in my personal email in the preview pane, just scroll down, next, next, next. Then I log in and look at profiles of the guys who wrote a nice message. Even if they don’t look attractive. I still like it that they actually tried to talk to me.

    A lot of messages that don’t say anything feels as lonely as not getting messages. I think guys should keep trying to write good messages even if women aren’t responding at first, eventually one will. If they get discouraged and start blasting spam emails, they may miss a great girl.

  18. 228

    Jesus.  My first day on Okcupid I received 70 messages.  In all fairness, I realize that newer profiles get more views and I live in a metropolitan area.  On top of that I marked myself as looking for casual sex as well as relationships and friendships.  Also, my profile is basically one drawn out joke. I was so afraid of have a generic profile that I went a bit overboard with the humor.  I’m 19, white, and I’ve never considered myself super attractive or anything.  I put the maximum number of pictures allowed and they are all either close ups of my face (not selfies) or full body shots.  No group shots.   This is the weirdest experience of my life and it is certainly a mixed bag.

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