I’m a Man Who Doesn’t Want to Have Kids. Who Is Left To Date?

Hi Evan,

You frequently advise singles to reevaluate their list of deal breakers and to shorten that list where they can to increase their options.

How do you feel about applying that advice to parenting preferences?

I’m interested in dating women in their 30’s through early 40’s. I like children, but I am sure that I don’t want to be a parent. It seems likely that women who list exactly how many children they want on Match.com are pretty set on their preferences too.

I don’t want to date someone, grow attached to her and then feel hurt when the parenthood issue sends us off on our separate ways. The option of least risk would be to filter my searches to only return profiles of women who are sure they don’t want to be parents. My problem with that option is that it also returns a greatly reduced number of profiles.

I know you don’t have a magic wand, so I just have to play the hand I’ve been dealt. I’m willing to take a risk by contacting women who list that they are “not sure” about wanting children. I’m wondering if there are other types of women worth taking a risk on. Maybe women who may have listed a less than accurate preference about having children to not scare people away?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts,

Steve

Steve,

I’m running your email, not only because you’re a regular commenter, but because it follows last week’s question so neatly.

Steve’s a perfect example of a kind, relationship-oriented guy, who is extremely conscientious about the potential damage of two partners having different long-term goals. Of course, he’s more worried about getting hurt than he is about hurting the woman, but we’ll leave that aside. The point is that he is, as he pointed out, in a position of scarcity. Act with integrity and his pool of dateable women diminishes considerably.

Expecting your partner to share your rare passion cuts your dating pool by 99%.

This brings up a larger point that I’ve wanted to make for a long time:

People who are not “mainstream” have some very tough choices to make in dating. These choices mainly apply to two sets of people:

1) People who are in a minority in their preferences and insist that others share their preferences.

You’re in a minority in your preferences if you were into BDSM, or were an animal activist, or gave half your earnings to the Pentecostal Church.

There’s no judgment against minorities, but we must acknowledge that if you insist that your partner also have your non-mainstream preference, there are going to be far fewer singles from which to choose.

Simple exercise: Ask yourself what percent of people are ALSO (hardcore bikers, jobless backpackers, Buddhists who don’t believe in possessions)? Expecting your partner to share your rare passion cuts your dating pool by 99%.

My advice: find someone who is open to/tolerates your passion. Otherwise, accept the fact that it’s going to be a rare day, indeed, when you find the cute, kind, stable, age-appropriate, emotionally available person who ALSO eats only green foods.

2) People who are in a minority of OTHER people’s preferences.

An Asian man who will only date Caucasian women.

A sixty-year-old widow who will only date men 5-10 years younger.

A Jewish rocker with dreadlocks who wants to be with a Jewish woman.

A man who doesn’t want to have children. Let’s call him Steve.

My advice to you is the same as my advice to anyone who restricts their own choices: open up or quit complaining how hard you’ve made it on yourself.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with these choices, except to point out that they are choices that are self-restricting.

You can probably add other things to this list, including overweight women, older women, short men, and poor men. These are not choices, but they are groups that face longer odds because they don’t fit into many people’s preferences.

So if you’re in one of the above minorities and you’re faced with a frustrating situation, you have a choice: Keep doing what you’re doing, or change. I don’t judge you either way. I just have to point out the obvious:

If you’re only open to dating 5% of the population – you’re going to have a harder time finding love.

So what changes can be made?

An overweight woman could lose weight. The Jewish rocker could cut his hair to appeal to his demographic. The vegan could tolerate a man who eats chicken and eggs. The shorter man could be open to heavier women, the older woman to older men.

The problem is when we refuse to budge and then complain how hard it is to find anyone. It would be like me saying that I want to drive a car, but I’ll only drive a hot pink Lamborghini that I see being driven down my street. Guess I’m not going to be doing too much driving.

I don’t blame you, Steve, for not wanting to have kids. It’s a huge decision, a life-altering decision, and you shouldn’t do it if it makes you feel profoundly uncomfortable. Just know that the only options you have are to date women in their 30’s who state that they don’t want kids, to date women who are in their 40’s who may be cool with the idea of not having kids, or wait for women in their 50’s whose kids are already grown.

Otherwise, buddy, my advice to you is the same as my advice to anyone who restricts their own choices: open up or quit complaining how hard you’ve made it on yourself.

By the way, thanks for putting yourself on the line with this one – a lot of readers can identify with you.

Evan

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Comments:

  1. 121
    Moni D

    I met a Christian man and we hit it off instantly. With no umbrellas and no filters in the soak and wet rain he told me “he knew I would be his wife”.  My kids were present and he still pursued me. He dove right in to the family dynamic and about 3 mos later he admits he never wanted kids or wanted to raise kids. He confessed his love for me and still to this day insist I’m perfect but kids are not in his plan.  Sighs…

     

     

  2. 122
    Holly

    I’m a woman, and i don’t want children. I have always exhibited a half hearted disinterest in child raising but now am seriously contemplating never. It is nothin  to do withhatig kids it is to do with mental health, my    opinion of the world as a whole being a disgusting miserable place, and the realisation i would truly resent to need to provide and care for this thing and forgo time, money,experiences etc. Popping out babies doesnt make you more valuable nor does not doing so. I actively seek men who dont want kids i currently have an amzing partner who i trickedunto admitting he neverwanted the responsibilt  of children by pretending i did. They exist the relationship pool is a bit smaller. Im also partial to men with teenage children but nothing and no one could force me to pop out a baby. It would not be fair to me or the child

  3. 123
    Rose

    I am a soon to be 27 year old woman, and I in no way want kids. There are people like us out there. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, anymore than there would be anything wrong with wanting kids. Everyone is entitled to their own choices. I think people who really want kids should have the right to try to make that happen in their lives. I also think that people like myself who know and have known for their entire lives that kids are just not on the menu for them, should not have kids. Some people have kids to please a partner or keep them. What happens when you two break up and now you have a kid to take care of? You lost the dude and now you have to be a parent. Of course I assume by that point you would love your child, but the point is, people tend to be temporary and you shouldn’t make permanent decisions on temporary situations.

  4. 124
    Dave

    I hear and read all the time about “Oh, there are lots of women out there who don’t want kids!”, well I’d sure like to know where, I live in the Tampa, FL area, certainly a very diverse area with nearly every walk of life here, but with that being said, I still find it extremely difficult to find women who don’t have kids already, or who don’t have any and don’t want any, at least no one under age 40.

    When I do on the rare occasion find one who falls into the “don’t have, don’t want” category, there is usually an ulterior motive as to why they fall into this category, and it’s not simply a “I choose not to.” reason, usually it’s due to career/schooling commitments, a physiological or psychological condition that is hindering her childbearing abilities, or something else not so common.

    It was always a deal breaker not wanting children, at least now, I’ll be 39 in 2 weeks so it’s getting easier dating because most of the dating pool my age now is nearly through or is through raising kids, though I’m still finding myself having to date women a few years older than me, not a big deal, in the past though I was finding myself dating women in their 40’s when I was in my 20’s over the childbearing thing.

    Jon, you hit the nail square on, a child is a human being and an awesome responsibility, it’s not something like a latest fashion trend, a sporty car, or a popular hair style that you get just to say you have it, and because the general social expectation says you should have it, and if you don’t there must be something seriously wrong with you if you don’t.   You can’t simply throw out, sell, or give away your child, at least not w/o serious ethical and/or legal ramifications.

    You cannot simply get tired of that phase and end it.   It’s a serious life changing and financially heavy obligation and commitment.   If you are going to have children, do it RIGHT and make sure you can financially and lovingly provide what that child needs and keep a stable, nurturing environment for the child(ren), if you cannot and still choose to have children just for the sake of “keeping up with social pressure” then you are doing them and the rest of society a terrible disservice.   I’m also referring to things you have control of in your life, not life changing events you cannot control.

  5. 125
    T M

    Not wanting kids doesn’t mean that you are selfish. Everyone has a choice in life and people shouldn’t be quick to judge others. Respect other people’s choices. I am a 35 year old single lady and I decided that whoever I date has to know up front that I don’t want to have kids. I like a man who knows what he wants  just like me.I just prefer not to have kids but am good with kids. Everyone has the right to be happy and if having kids will make you happy then have the kids and if you think you can’t handle having kids of you own then have no kids. Everyone needs to do whatever fulfill their heart and we should learn to respect that.

  6. 126
    Miffi

    There are MANY women who don’t want children.   I was single for 15 years (age 18 to 33) because that is how long it took me to find a man who DOESN’T want children.   I ended up settling for a man with a teenage son.   We got married, but it didn’t work out.   We remain good friends.

    I am now 36 and single.   I know I will find someone, but it is frustrating when people assume I will change my mind for “the right man”.   The right man for me will feel the same as I do on this decision.

  7. 127
    Sherry Joyner

    I’m a 41 white female that has never wanted kids. Ever. I am a General Manager & make a great income. I have never been married. I would love to find a man without kids & never been married that isn’t a convicted felon or a serial killer!! I’m being sarcastic. I don’t settle that’s why I’m not married. I don’t meet someone & get married to them in less than a year.  Also, I don’t need a man to complete me.

    I don’t think it’s selfish to not want kids. I think it’s wrong to bring kids into the world & you can’t afford to take care of them.  I think it’s selfish at my age to have children as the time on earth would be cut short.

    1. 127.1
      Karl R

      Sherry,

      Is it that important to find someone who has never been married?

      Back when I was dating (at a slightly younger age than you), I was dating women in your age range.  Kids were a deal-breaker for me, and I eliminated at least 90% of the available pool because they had kids or wanted them.

      If I had eliminated the divorcees as well, that would have cut out another 40% of the remaining pool … including my wife.

    2. 127.2
      Stacy

      @Sherry,

      You’re 41…most men either in your age range or who would be interested in you were either married before and/or have kids. Why not open yourself to men who have had kids who have already left the house? And what’s wrong with someone who has been married before? You are eliminating so much of the population and I don’t get it. I agree with Karl.

    3. 127.3
      Nissa

      As another woman who doesn’t have kids and never particularly wanted any, I understand your frustration that so many men on the market have kids. I would be very, very leery of dating someone that had kids unless they were over 18 and out of the house. But I’m not clear on why you want a man that’s never been married before? Perhaps it’s vain of me, but since I’m divorced, and I’m fabulous, I assume divorced men will be too. In fact, I’ve found that men who have been in long term relationships before learned an awful lot from them. I tend to think of this as “pre-learning” – stuff that the first woman taught him so that I don’t have to do all that basic stuff. Win!

  8. 128
    Desperateforchildrentodeath

    I am single mother and I really wanted children in my all life and I never find a child loving man – I had rubbish, sh*t boyfriends, they never wanted kids. They betrayed me — yes, yes, yes, I want children !!! But not now, 2 years later, 5 years later, 1000 years later. They played foe time. All of them. I hate them. I could k*ll them. I needed trick to get pregnant, I used a syringe to take the sperm from the condom to my vagina. I was DESPERATE TO DEATH. I got pregnant.

  9. 129
    Desperateforchildrentodeath

    And Yes, I am desperate to death to having children. I could die for babies!!!!! I love them sooo much. I love my son, but his father is gone. He never wanted children. And I have to do it again – the syringe trick – that I DONT HAVE another choice. I never had, I never meet man who really wanted kids. Desperate to death for a baby – I want more. I blame the God as well – it is his mistake – God never give me the right person for a family. I could burn the Church with my anger. I am very, very, very angry as well that man dosen’t want children in this time. Not at all. I need to be a single mother of 3-4-5 if I want a bigger family – THAT I DONT HAVE a choice. I don’t have that this man dosen’t exist.

    1. 129.1
      Persephone

      I would never want to trick a man into having children.  That is just so wrong, but I cannot dictate on how to do your life.

      I was never blessed with children. I always wanted them, and I would make a great mom.  I raised my step son, but now his father turned him against me.  I was so heartbroken.

      But it’s better to be without children than to make their lives misery with divorce and fights over custody.

  10. 130
    Desperateforchildrentodeath

    So I think, I am THE Victim of this Time. I am a victim, who never had a choice to meet with a good man who loves kids. I am full with anger and I decided, I will be very very nasty with boyfriends. Use them for money, for sperm donation, for my goals, until they give me this – after they can go, I help packing.  They all of them don’t want kids – what can I do with them ??? Just use them only as my bag on my shoulder. I was a nice person, a very different one in the past. I had lots of nice feelings. I am still young enough but I am broken inside – my ex lied me for years, I lived with him together for years !!!!! He never wanted kids and he never said me the truth. He just left me. He never could say in my eyes::: Sorry, but I don’t want kids. Never. He hated the arguments. He was always “quiet”. I used a syringe to get pregnant, I couldn’t wait longer. I didn’t regret, I never will. I love my son. But he left me immediately. And he never said, never:: Sorry but I don’t want children. He didn’t want debate at all. He hated it.

  11. 131
    Desperateforchildrentodeath

    If I would be a serial killer in another life, I could kill men who don’t want children. They hurted me so much, they could deserve it. I could date online and I would date them – and kill them with a long, narrow knife. Cut their head off for souveier and collect it. The skulls. I could love it !!!! This is my pure hate – a pure evil hate for them. In another life if I wouldn’t have baby for this reason – I would just kill, kill, kill.  Without child my life would be pointless, useless, empty, unhappy and I wouldn’t care the prison – if the police cauch me after lots murdering- I really could do it, I would able to do it with pleasure. But I have a beautiful son, he saved so many lifes !!! I don’t kill anybody, I need raise my beautiful son and the love for him stop me. Without my son I would be crazy serial killer – I wouldn’t care any prison or policeman, any low. A pointless, totally unhappy childless life would make me a dangerous monster – wish so many life and death. But with children I can forget it and live a normal, happy life, they give me balance in the life to STOP this “another me” inside. Who is desperate to death to having beautiful babies. If I don’t get pregnant and I wouldn’t have a son, I could be a monster !!! It is true so take it seriously. But I wish another life where I have a husband and 4-5 children. I would be the most happy woman in the Earth !!!!! The most happy woman !!!! My baby is the most beautiful thing in my life, who stop me to do terrible things. The anger would be unlimited and pure evil hate for man who don’t want children.

  12. 132
    Karen

    I agree with her. People who don’t want to have kids are often making that decision for SELFISH reasons. It is like..they have no heart. It is all about them. All the reasons you all are giving here (vacations, freedom, career, etc,) proves the SELFISHNESS. It is not ‘judgemental’ (so sick of everyone throwing that stupid word around all the time too)..it is a fact. Why can’t people simply enjoy having kids and relish the time spent WITH them…loving them..finding joy and positivness in it? Nothing is perfect. All those fears and imagined problems can take care of themselves with lots of love. That is the problem these days, everyone is so selfish and can’t imagine loving and caring for a sweet little one. They can turn out anyway ‘you’ make it. Raise them well and generally things should go ok. It is a beautiful thing. A gift from God..but it is for people who love..and love the ‘right’ way, which these days sadly some people don’t have it in them. Normally, women especially want kids. They are more the loving nurturing motherly gender. We were made that way for a reason, but today everything and everyone is so friggin warped..nobody knows what is what anymore. Its a real shame and a sin.

  13. 133
    James

    Well i am a man that really wanted to have children years ago when i was married for almost 15 years with my ex wife before she cheated on me which i was a very good husband at that time that showed her a lot of love, attention, and was very committed to her as well.  At the time that i was married to her which we really talked about having children but unfortunately it never did happen.  We started going out to different places and even far away trips which we enjoyed very much and we did both agree to having children later on but it still never happened again.  Now for me being a single man again really sucks for me, especially with no children at all to fall back on either.  And for those of you that are married with children which you really should be very thankful for what you have since your lives are very much complete which many of us other men out there really wished that we could’ve had the same thing as well.  Many people were just very blessed to find real love and others like us just weren’t unfortunately.

  14. 134
    melanie

    i am a 24 year old female who had a child on accident in my teens and i never want another one. i have renounced responsibility for my child she doesn’t live with me it’s more like as if i had a close niece. but it is SO HARD to find men who don’t want children it feels utterly impossible. I am different from the majority in other ways as well in my personality. It truely feels like I will be alone forever, or at least until I’m in my 40s when people are done having kids and getting divorces. It’s honestly pretty sad.

  15. 135
    Diana

    My brother and sister-in-law got married in March, they have been together since 2000. They are a happy couple, they balance each other well. They love each other and I’m happy for them. According to my mother, their biggest sin is that they didn’t want children. My father is okay with it, I’m okay with that, but my mother isn’t and never was and most of our relatives are not okay with it either, although it’s neither of our business if my brother and sister-in-law have children or not. Then they announced that they would like to adopt a child. My sister-in-law is 43, but she never said she wanted to get pregnant. I just want them to be happy. Adoption is  fine by me, although I am not a fan of children.

    When I was small, I wanted to have a big wedding and once or twice said that I wanted a baby – that was about 15 years ago (I’m 26). I think wanting a baby was because my brother is 15 years older than me, I think I wanted a sibling who was around my age. Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother so much, but it’s been lonely as the youngest.

    My mother is raging, angry at my brother and sister-in-law because she thinks they are selfish, they value their free time, they are chasing money, my brother should divorce my sister-in-law and find himself a woman who will give him children. Both of them are hard-working, they love their families and friends so much, they love their jobs, it always hurts me when my mother talks about them like that.

    My brother saved enough money to buy a family house, renovated it and are happy together. My father tries to calm my mother down but it’s not working. She keeps wailing, “Why do I live, dear God! My brother needs a good slap to the face!” She says. She is depressed, etc. She keeps telling our relatives quite loudly that she is envious of them for having grandchildren and I am silent all the time because no amount of explaining (calmly or yelling) works on her, I tried it, it didn’t work.

    She states frequently that I wouldn’t be alive if she decided to go along with abortion – yeah, that makes me feel so much better. My father’s grandmother was really against me and wanted my mother to abort me. My grandmother from my mother’s side told me, “Your grandpa didn’t love you like he loves your brother.” Boy that makes me so much better too. My brother and I never had an ideal childhood, so I think it is part of why I don’t want children.

    After a certain age, I decided that I don’t want children. It’s because of bullying, I guess. I was and still am a shy person, I have confidence issues along with body image issues and I’m not attractive, I am not a social person. I have always been the good girl who stayed at home when she had to and tried to please her parents. Pleasing my parents got me to the point that I am depressed, fighting to get over self-hatred, worthlessness, etc. And when I finally had the courage to say no, my parents were furious that I’m an idiot, selfish, I’m throwing away a great opportunity, but I felt that said opportunity wasn’t for me. Pleasing my parents landed me into getting unwanted degrees because I was a coward to say no, it will be rectified in the near future, I want to work what I love not what my parents want me to.

    So back to the original topic, I don’t want children. I am not sure relationships are for me either. I have never been in a relationship, but the few times I was asked to go on a date with a guy turned out to be a farce. They wanted to show that the nerdy girl is desperate for a quickie, etc.

    If I ever have a child, it will be on my terms with a sperm donor or no child. I respect others’ opinions but I am tired of the “Boyfriend? When will you get married? You’re near 30 for God’s sake. When will you have children if you don’t date, have sex, etc?” Hello, that’s my own business.

    My mother even threatened me to kick me out of the house and everything if I won’t have a baby within 10 years (I’m still unemployed so I live with my parents). But whenever children are brought up into a conversation a certain coldness engulfs me and I feel nauseous. I am okay with children from a distance… I don’t want to cause misery to a little life just because my mother and society want me to get pregnant. I need to heal and find myself. But for the past 5-8 years or so, having a child is not in my long-term plans.

    I love my mother with all my heart because grandchildren topic aside she is the most generous and helping person but what she does with all the harassing, commenting because of grandchildren… she takes it too far.

    A past high school classmate of mine just told me between sobs that she had problems with her menstrual cycles. She bleeds too much, she is in so much pain, so she went to a gynaecologist to get it looked at. The doctor asked her if she wanted to have children. Without thinking, she said no. After it, it was the most humiliating hour for her. The doctors and nurses talked to her like she murdered someone like she doesn’t deserve to be living, without a trace of kindness. My God! In which century do we live? A woman is less because she doesn’t want to procreate?

  16. 136
    James

    Well i am one of many men out there that really wanted children at one time before my ex filthy low life pathetic loser wife cheated on me which at that time i was a very good husband that was very committed to her as well.  Now i am just too old to have children since i am in my 60’s, and getting married again for me is very scary since there are just too many divorces as it is.  Most marriages unfortunately nowadays just don’t last that long anymore, and in the old days most marriages really did work out since both men and women were very committed to one another at that time.

  17. 137
    Capatan

    My mother had her my little sister when she was 46. The earliest recorded birth in the UK was by an 11 year old, the oldest was 55. Yes the it’s harder when you get older but not impossible. In the current age where getting careers is hard, Houes are expensive as balls and we have a plethora of other things to think about, there is a lot of pressure on both men (but mostly women) to have children at a certain age, even if they are not ready financially or emotionally. It’s a lot of responsibility and a lot to take on and I cannot tand those who get up on the pedastle and talk down to those who do not feel they want that lifestyle.

  18. 138
    Barbara Richards

    So refreshing for a guy not to want kids! I really don’t want any was told in my 20s I’d change my mind but I’m 45 and still haven’t!

    I stopped dating as I was sick of guys going on and on about having kids and trying to talk me round and being told I was getting older and should have one before its too late etc.

    Not all women crave to have kids I never have at least 3 of my friends and my sister don’t want any. I like my freedom I don’t want the responsibility or the financial expensive.

    1. 138.1
      Emily, the original

      Barbara,

      Not all women crave to have kids I never have at least 3 of my friends and my sister don’t want any. I like my freedom I don’t want the responsibility or the financial expensive.

      I don’t want kids, either. I met up with a female friend yesterday who never wanted them. Having to go to work everyday takes enough of my freedom away.

    2. 138.2
      AdaGrace

      I’m childfree as well – 49 but knew even as a kid that I didn’t want children.  I got a ot a tubal ligation as soon as possible and think guys with vasectomies and no existing children are hot 🙂  Sure, responsibility and financial expense, but also heightened medical risk in my case and… well… I simply don’t enjoy being around kids.

      (I also don’t enjoy *adults* who are irrational, self-centered, and noisy, for that matter… at least the child will *probably* grow up at some point 🙂 )

      1. 138.2.1
        Emily, the original

        AdaGrace,

        I simply don’t enjoy being around kids.

        I don’t want all my social activities to center around kids, but I have friends with kids and enjoy spending time with them. But I never wanted my own and don’t want to date someone with them.

         

  19. 139
    Barbara Richards

    Thank goodness I thought I was the only woman who doesn’t like being around kids in fact I truly hate it! There’s all this expectation on you as a woman everyone expects you to want kids & to love being around them & your treated as sad a failer or weird if you don’t want any or to be around them! The amount of times women would bring their baby to work & say do you want to hold them & I’d say what the hell for?? No I don’t!  At the minute I’m getting lots of put down comments from guys at work & my private life constantly asked about & pried into as I’m single with no kids! I’ve been told I’m weird is it that no man wants me or I can’t keep one etc I had to make a formal complaint about one guy constantly asking me personal questions as why I was 45 with no kids! Personally I cant think of a worse hell than spending all my spare time with screaming kids dragging them round shops or stuck at home with them where you have no time for yourself !

    1. 139.1
      Emily, the original

      Barbara,

      At the minute I’m getting lots of put down comments from guys at work & my private life constantly asked about & pried into as I’m single with no kids! 

      You don’t have a narrative, and it makes people uncomfortable. I’m about to start looking for a new job and plan to make up a long-distance boyfriend. That does two things — gets people off my back and prevents the 1 or 2 odd, single male coworkers who seem to exist at every place I’ve worked from bugging me. (By odd I mean that they are 40 and have never not lived with their mothers.) If, by some freak of nature, I meet someone I like — PRESTO!–the long-distance boyfriend is gone and I put myself on the playing field. No one else puts me there.

    2. 139.2
      danny

      guess I guess at 45 with no kids and all the time to yourself, you seem that much happier now right? Happier that your environment expects you to have kids but you don’t.

      Do you think the people who want kids want to drag these little turds around when they’re screaming and crying? Do you think those parents not want time to themselves?

      I’m not sure the problems we have here in America with children are the same everywhere. I really doubt indigenous tribes have these same issues. It’s our society producing these kids. Although I’ve never met an indigenous tribe, I’m almost certain they don’t deal with screaming crying kids because they want something at the store.

  20. 140
    danny

    It seems to me like the people who don’t want kids are listing reasons stemming from fear, those that affect their own way of living the life they want to live for their own happiness, seeing bad parents, some childhood trauma.

    Then they go on to list proof of what they do for others that shows how they aren’t selfish. They thing is, the things you do for other people are also by choice. You are choosing to do those things on your own time or if it works for your schedule. When you have a kid, you are on duty 24 hours a day. A responsible parent also cannot choose when it’s convenient for them, they are stuck with it.

    I used to not want kids. I didn’t want to get married either. When I had my daughter, my world changed. At first, my reasons were I hated kids. They were annoying, especially when they whine and cry and don’t have any common sense or reasoning or don’t think logically. They are dumb and naive  and especially when they ask the “but why?” Questions.

     

    Then when they get older they  will talk back to you. I was that kid and did all of that to my parents. Why the heck would I want to go through that? I didn’t think my parents were the best, but one thing was for sure. I knew how not to be a parent thanks to them.

     

    My daughter is a little angel. She can get annoying sometimes but you have to think about this. Somebody had to put up with your annoying brat ass when you were growing up. Do you think they wanted to lose out on their freedom to put you in this world? Do you think they liked that date nights no longer happened because they had to find a babysitter if they could afford one? Did they want to drag you along everywhere?

    It’s either we are ready to be responsible and become a parent or not. The people who don’t want kids who will defend that they are responsible… That’s good. I’m sure you are. I’m sure you have good credit too and never missed a payment on a bill. But does a bill talk back to you? Does it cry? Can you teach it anything? These things that you are responsible about don’t have a mind of its own. Oh you have a pet? Does it sit around the house all day with no job while you have to feed it and pick up its shit?

    Don’t answer that.

    a pet will never have the potential to be there for you when you’re old, never visit you on your birthdays, never be a able to one day take care of themselves, and you. They can never give you a hand, and cannot give you any advice.

    Your kids will grow to be whoever you raise them to be, plus the environmental influence and the society around them.

     

    Nothing wrong with not wanting kids, although selfish is a bit extreme.

    Let’s just say the thought of having to permanently be responsible 24 hours a day to something that requires a lot of effort and nurturing isn’t your thing. Come on, pets? If you really wanted to you could dump that animal on the side of the road and never see a day of jail. Try the with a kid. See what happens.

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