What Percent of People are Open to Dating Someone with Your Age, Height, Weight, Education, Income, and Geographic Location?

What percent of people are open to dating someone with your age, height, weight, education, income, and geographic location?

Do any one of these factors seem to have a greater effect than the others?

How open are YOU to responding to someone’s profile that doesn’t meet all of your preset criteria in these areas?

My 5 CD set is filled with invaluable insights regarding setting profile criteria to help your profile work for you. http://www.findingtheoneonline.com/blog

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Comments:

  1. 1
    A-L

    I’m 28, 5’1″, check average weight (which most guys include), have a B.A., earn a respectable though not exorbitant income, and live in the main city in the area. I’m not excluded by most guys because of these criteria. I am frequently excluded though for another similar factor though, which is race.

    In terms of what I’m willing to consider/overlook:

    Age: My profile says guys 26-40. I really would rather not exceed these, though I have in the past.

    Height: My profile said 5’2″ and above, but now it’s 5’4″. For the right guy I might see someone under 5’4″, but frankly, I’m still including 99% of guys out there.

    Weight: I checked any on my profile, though I’d probably exclude guys who are severely obese (ie, 5’9″ and 300 pounds)

    Education: I say Associate’s level as a minimum on my profile, but so long as the guy sounds smart and knows how to put a sentence together, he can capture my attention regardless of his educational level.

    Income: I checked any on my profile. If he’s a student, there’s no minimum. If he works full-time, I’d really like him to earn $30-35k plus. But I can be flexible on this, depending on the situation.

    Geographic location: I clicked 35 miles on my profile. This one I’m more picky about, as I don’t want it to be a big ordeal to see my guy.

  2. 2
    JuJu

    How can I possibly calculate the percentage of those willing to date me?

    As for the people I am willing to date, it would probably amount to ~5%.

    I am willing to consider men my age +/- 5 years, located in New York or California (lately have been thinking about moving to the West Coast), at least 5’10” and, I would guess, 170lb (but probably no more than 200lb, unless very muscular), Caucasian, and of superior intelligence.

    I am aware these criteria are limiting, but I also know from experience that compromising on any one of them would not make me happy, at least not for long (except for a different race: I have no experience with that, I just don’t find them sexually attractive :-(, although I am perfectly capable of seeing the purely aesthetic beauty in many people of other races).

  3. 3
    Robin

    I am Female, 51yo, 120 lbs., 5’7″, great shape, intellectually stimulating, professional. It’s real difficult finding a guy who will be the same, or will not be totally intimidated or because he fits that, he’s dating the whole world…LOL. So I usually search for 7-10 years my junior and even then…it’s pretty bad, because they’re not too bright or fascinating. I’m not open to dating someone who doesn’t meet at least everything but the education and income part. Being a tall girl, I tower over most…especially with 3-4 inch heels. Most guys can’t handle that, I have found.

    I did manage to find someone online who was exactly my same age, tall, athletic, smart as a whip, fascinating and very active like me. It’s a miracle. I’d say 1 in 1,000-don’t know what percentage. I mean…how much Starbuck’s can one person drink in a week? LOL

  4. 4
    moonsical

    I cannot imagine any way to know that data definitely. It does seem to me that geography is a huge barrier; men I contact afar seem to want to have someone local rather than developing things on-line.

    As for myself, I will date eight years in either direction, accept height greater than my own (5’5″+), need someone who is functionally literate (the more so the better; Master’s degree level communicators seem to be on the same wavelength though I thus far only have a BA,) income is a non-issue and geography: I am willing to relocate to college towns/cities in the Pacific NW or Upper Rockies. That is about as broad as I can be.

    The biggest factor for me is literacy, and by that I mean literacy of all kinds. A mate needs to show as intelligent, well-rounded, multi-faceted and able to write, read, think and talk. There’s a way of thinking that draws parallels and makes connections between things quickly that I enjoy, for instance. Men who just want to go hunting, watch TV and pop cold ones…well, I’m sure there’s someone out there for them! Any profile that starts, “Wel i’m just a simple guy looking fr a nice lady…” I cannot delete it fast enough. Sorry!

    moon

  5. 5
    moonsical

    Re: Income

    I hope no one screens by this. Wow. I have known so many individuals who are almost insanely intelligent, funny and interesting that have low-paying jobs. It would be great if we all had high paying jobs but the fact is there are not oodles of them around, and becoming less so daily, in our country. I went through the, “dot com bomb,” in Seattle where employers would get 500 applicants for one position. Somebody has to go work at Target, maybe a lot of somebodies. In these tough economic times, consider lowering your standards here.

    Then there are my friends who are whip smart, perhaps have more than one degree, maybe even professional credentials, but just choose to be bike mechanics or what have you. This does not a bad mate make.

    Just my opinion. I like pound dogs over the kind you pay $600, too. Intrinsic value doesn’t come with a price qualifier.

    moon

  6. 6
    TC

    I’m an older woman–65 and retired. As people mature, height, weight and physical appearance lose importance in favor of similar personal and world views, religious preferences, political preferences, and preferred life style. We (should!) know who we are, and no longer have time to cast about for any agreeable pleasant person. We’re not going to change, nor are we going to be able to change anyone else.

    That makes searching harder and stretches parameters. I don’t want to be a nurse-with-a-purse, or a cradle robber, so I generally look between ages of 57 – 72. I have the time and means to travel to meet a potential mate and have done so, from here in the Deep South to the upper Mid-West.

    I have learned that being educated does not necessarily equal being intellectual, and I prefer the company of other intellectuals. That, I have learned, is a non-negotiable but often takes a bit of correspondence to discover.

    The hardest part is demographics are against older single women. I have worked hard at getting my head on straight after a long marriage that ended unexpectedly. I expect the same, but find too many men in my age group are panicked at the thought of being alone in their “golden years” and grasp at relationships simply to have a woman–any woman–around.

    So I guess the answer is I don’t put a lot of importance on age, height, weight, education, income, or geographic location. What is more important is how well we mesh as formed adults and how much effort we’re willing to make to find out.

  7. 7
    happygirl

    I think when I first started online dating I had pretty set idea’s about what I wanted. Since then that has evolved. I think I am more open now and have included a much wider range of criteria.After reading Evan’s suggestions etc I decided to be more open and not lay so many restrictions down.

    Age- Anywhere from 39 up to 50. I will not reject someone if he is over 50 if his profile is interesting and we hit it off.Nor will I reject someone who is younger.

    Height- I am quite tall and I have always have had a thing about a man needing to be taller then me. Even if it is slightly. I have not been able to overlook that. Ok. same height I can accept but not shorter then me. Maybe shallow, but I am not comfortable with it.

    Weight- I like men in good shape, but I have dated men who have been somewhat out of shape.Always said I would never date someone with a few extra pounds. Well I did as most of the time it has been their personality, charm, manners etc that became more important. I did not even notice the extra pounds anymore.

    Education- I do like a man who is well educated.If someone is well spoken and “educated” himself along the way then it will not be an issue.

    Income- I like a man to have a reasonable income. More important to me is how he spends it. I am adamant about a man not to live beyond his means or to have huge credit card debt. Don’t even want to go there. I like a man who knows how to handle his finances.It shows to me that he is responsable.

    Geographic location- That is tricky- I have a child and it is important to me that my child maintains a good relationship with her father and sees him on a regular basis. So dating someone who lives quite far from where I live would only work if the guy is flexible and willing to drive to see me. But I try to be open about that. You never know. A man maybe willing to re-locate so it would not even be an issue

  8. 8
    Jennifer

    Right now these factors (and an additional factor of race) are all pretty important and ones I’m not willing to budge on. I’m 5’10” (without heels) and i’m already open to guys that are 5’9″ so I feel that’s pretty flexible. The only other criteria I might be willing to revisit my stance on is education; currently it’s Bachelor’s or above but that could possibly change given the right, really special, guy.

  9. 9
    The InBetweener

    Age: 36 – I say maybe 80-85% of women WOULD date someone my age. My range is usually 10 above and 10 below my age.

    Height: 5’5-5’6 – Some women “SAY” they WOULD date someone my height, but I think if they see that the grass is greener on the other side, they usually go to the other side. So I would have to REALISTICALLY say 20% or less. As long as there is no ASTRONOMICALLY UNCOMFORTABLE height difference, a few inches either way is fine with me. Although, with MOST women, height is almost non-negotiable.

    Weight: I don’t normally list a weight but I normally DO say or check off – I could maybe lose a few. I think 75% of women would not mind. May I quote A-L on this one (with an exception on gender)? “…though I’d probably exclude WOMEN who are severely obese (ie, 5?9? and 300 pounds)”

    Education: I normally just check off – “I’ll tell you later” but I really went to school for and currently have a certificate in Mortuary Science and some IT related certifications. I don’t list it (Mortuary Science) because it reads a little morbid and that’s not the field of work that I’m currently in – most people don’t read profiles carefully enough to warrant me inputing that particular piece of info. Not to sure on this one, so I’ll play it safe and say 50%? I concur with A-L on this one too. (again, with an exception on gender, of course)

    Income: I almost NEVER list or check off an income range. Usually check off “I’ll tell you later” on this one also. (the real deal-between $40K-$50K, but closer to $40) ;-) Not too sure what most women think about it, but I guess I don’t really care. How I think—> When you meet someone in person as opposed to online, do you normally divulge this information right away? In any case, I would say 60% to 70% of women care about this info. So long as the woman can support herself (and her family if she has one), her income is usually of no concern of mine.

    Geographic Location: I’m a hop, skip and a jump away from “The Big Apple” and I don’t think most women mind. I’d say 85 to 90%. I don’t REALLY want to travel more than one state north or south of mine, but I guess I MIGHT, for the right person?

    On ALL of these issues, I usually try to keep an open mind.

  10. 10
    JuJu

    InBetweener, I think the most limiting factor is the only percentage of consequence, and the others become irrelevant.

    Also, don’t mean to insult you, but an income like that would not score a man many dates in NYC.

  11. 11
    JuJu

    I mean, that alone would limit your prospects to maybe 10% of all women, if you are lucky.

    Sorry. :-(

  12. 12
    Cilla

    No idea what percentage are willing to date me (or how to even find that information.) The reverse match function should work this way, but doesn’t–it seems to exclude hundreds of men I can find searching on my own.

    I’m more proactive anyway–I search for the characteristics I like in a man and make contact if I think we’re a possible match. I don’t feel the need to meet all his criteria to make contact, unless one of those is wanting children (I’m done with that). I’m thinking about relocating next year, so I make it clear to the men I contact that geographic location isn’t a long-term issue for me.

    I give a pretty wide range on height (5’6″ to 6’5″) because I’m short and willing to date shorter men (but know the really tall ones sometimes like us shorties). Don’t care about hair, eye color, but prefer to date darker men, so I look for ethnicities other than Caucasian. I’m willing to look at most body types, because some men can carry a little extra weight without making them unattractive. In fact, I’d rather date a guy with a few extra pounds than one that’s marathon runner thin. While I know some imperfect men still want to date perfect women, most of the guys with a few extra pounds are more accepting of a broader range of body types, as are many men in the Latin and African American communities (I’m curvy proportional, but not thin).

    I don’t care about a man’s educational background as long as his profile resonates with me–not rife with misspellings, text talk, or crazy religious rants. I prefer someone who comes across immediately as more literary and articulate, but a laconic guy with a few good sentences can hook me, as well. I’ve met well spoken guys with HS degrees who never needed to go to college to succeed, and CEOs with MBAs who can’t string a simple sentence together.

    I do care about income, however. I don’t need to date someone who makes as much as I do, but I don’t think someone who makes less than $50,000 per year can afford to do most of the things I like to do (travel, wine tasting, theatre, etc.). If I made SO much money that it was no object, I guess I wouldn’t care, but I make just enough that I can afford nice things but can’t be a sugar mama. I’m looking at men who are open to long distance relationships, which also requires a certain level of income to work.

    I’ve been willing to date men from 23 to 55 (I’m mid-40’s), but recently I changed that to 37-53. I’ve become more serious about looking for serious relationship (vs. just fun summer outings), and the younger guys all eventually want to have kids. It’s a shame, because many of the guys my age won’t date women in their own age bracket, so it limits my dating pool somewhat. I seem to have the most luck with out-of-state African American men in their late 30’s to mid-40’s, who have had children and are empty nesters or soon to be such, like me.

  13. 13
    Joe

    Moonsical, the older people get, the more of a factor geography becomes. Twenty-somethings are usually not quite as settled in a profession or a lifestyle; once you hit your thirties, you’ve got a lot of time invested in a job/profession, and moving to be with someone is more difficult. People may have kids, whether or not they live with them or the ex. Wanting to date within their geographical area is very understandable.

  14. 14
    The InBetweener

    @ – JuJu

    Thanks for that feedback. Your opinion really matters to me. :-\

  15. 15
    happygirl

    I want to thank everyone for their feedback. It seems to me that the same people are taking the time to answer the questions that have been posted.I see very long and indepth responses. I have learned a lot from all of you.Thank you for sharing.

  16. 16
    JuJu

    InBetweener,

    I know it doesn’t, but just wanted to bring home the point that an item-by-item breakdown is meaningless in this case.

    Evan has the expression “you are only as attractive as your worst photo”, and, in this instance, you are only as desirable as your “worst” vital stat.

    I apologize for my bluntness.

  17. 17
    The InBetweener

    @-JuJu

    No apology necessary.

    Your comment/opinion sounds more like something of a PERSONAL preference than one coming from someone that represents, what, 90% of women? (assuming you don’t represent the 10% of women that you were referring to in your comment)

    Better that your comment/opinion represent a direct reflection of who YOU really are than who you really aren’t.

  18. 18
    moonsical

    Hi Joe,

    Thanks for the elementary explanation; you must find me dense! Yes, I get that grown-ups have more complex lives, or some of them (I don’t.) I also know (as I think all of us on this site do) how unique it is to find a lifetime mate that is a great match. I think it’s worth considering moving or finding a different job. It seems to me men value career and wage earning more than the opportunity to truly find a mate. Just my take on it. All the people who are on the dating sites…obviously what they’ve been sticking to HASN’T WORKED SO FAR. I’m just saying: branch out, and consider being willing to uproot.

    moon

  19. 19
    Jennifer

    I don’t have any children, but I’m also only willing to date locally. Sometimes the reason people are dating online is not because they’ve been dating around for years and it hasn’t worked out for them, but rather because a relationship has ended and they are now looking for another. So we don’t need to get *too* broad right away :-)

  20. 20
    Karl R

    “What percent of people are open to dating someone with your age, height, weight, education, income, and geographic location?”

    If I do a reverse lookup on Match, it automatically hits the max return of 50 pages. I have no means of determining the percentage who are willing to date someone matching my description. (By comparison, mutual matches return about 22 pages.)

    Of the categories you listed, I get primarily ruled out for education (some college) and age (among women who are older than me).

    Age: I list a range of +/- 8 years. Within the past year I’ve dated a woman who is 10 years older than me and two who are 11 years younger than me. Age ended up being an issue with two of the three women, so I’m cautious about large age differences.

    Height: I list a range of 4’10” to 6’1″, but I am willing to date outside that range, and I occasionally check to make sure I’m not ruling out someone I’d like to date.

    Weight (listed as Build on Match): I went on one date with a woman who listed herself as “a few pounds over”. I would have described her as “morbidly obese”. Since then, I’ve limited my searches to slender, average, athletic & toned, and curvy. In any case, I base this decision off the photo, not the description.

    Education: I’m interested in intelligence, which sometimes correlates with education. If a woman can keep up with me intellectually, than she has a sufficient education. I am perfectly willing to date women who are highly educated. I’ve dated one woman with a DVM and one MD in the past year. I wouldn’t hesitate to date a woman with a PhD. Regardless of what a woman marks as her education level, I usually base this decision on her ability to write intelligently.

    Income: If a woman can support herself, she earns enough money. If she’s willing to date someone in my income bracket, I don’t care whether she’s in a substantially higher one.

    Geographic location: I choose not to own a car, and public transportation will get me about 10 miles in any direction. Furthermore, I have no intention of relocating in the near future. I have dated women who lived further away, but they were willing to come to my part of town (and were regularly in my area for work, school and/or church). Since I’m in the middle of a large city, population density drops off considerably with distance, so I’m not highly motivated to look further afield.

  21. 21
    hunter

    I like what “moon” has said about branching out. I noticed, that, once I dropped most of my requirements, I have dates/female company.

  22. 22
    R

    I usually just read these comments, but I’m finding the different perspectives interesting and thought I’d add mine.

    Age: I’m a little picky. Why? I’m 29, female and I want to get married and have kids. But not RIGHT now. I’m willing to be a little flexible and certainly read the profiles of those older and younger than my ideal if they contact me, but I generally stick between 27 and 35.

    Height: I’m generally attracted to taller men. I have a friend who likes shorter men. Everyone likes something different. But I realize it’s not something we can control, so I set my preferences a little wider than my ideal match.

    Weight: Again, a little picky. I work hard to maintain my weight. I know that I will end up with someone who also values a healthy lifestyle.

    Education: I really don’t care. I think part of that is where I live. In Los Angeles, you meet lots of people who have a master’s degree but are sitting at home “writing a screenplay” (aka: surfing and meeting their friends for lunch and complaining that no one will buy their screenplay). I prefer a JOB and the ability to write a proper sentence over a fancy degree.

    Income: I’m almost turned off when someone lists their income. I support myself and am certainly not dating for someone to take care of me. And it’s all just a number. It’s entirely possible to make 200K a year and live in extreme debt.

    Geographic location: This one is important to me. I’m definitely not willing to start something online with someone who lives too far away.

    Oh, and I am 100% aware that I am pickier online than in “real life”. It’s just too easy. It’s also why I continue to go out to bars and parties and networking events, etc. All these qualifiers go down the tubes when there’s chemistry.

    1. 22.1
      avery_t

      “Everyone likes something different.”
       
      90% of women like taller men. 10% don’t care. It’s a very, very lopsided preference. For men under 5′ 10″, height is the single worst issue in dating. The degree to which women care about height is mind-blowing. Women care about height 10 times more than men care about breast size. For short men, height can seem to bet single most deterministic factor in his life. It’s more like race than anything else. 

  23. 23
    Jennifer

    @R- Excellent points about being pickier online than in real life. I’m the same way.

  24. 24
    starthrower68

    LOL! Good question! I say 0% to any of the catergories above. Which is why I’m putting my energy into leading my weight loss support group at church! Seriously, I don’t know how people feel about the area I live in. I’m working on improving the stuff I can, but by the time I achieve my goals in that area, I will be so happy with my life that it won’t matter if anyone wants to date me or not. And that’s how it should be, I think.

  25. 25
    moonsical

    Karl,

    It’s nice to know we’re both +/-8 years people! Hahaha…

    moon

  26. 26
    Maria

    I happen to LOVE BIG GUYS!! Some people might even consider them fat, but I feel so much more like a woman around a bigger guy. I am fit myself, but the fit guys I have attempted to date are just too skinny. Bald is good too. Give me a big guy who likes to eat my cooking, a bald guy who knows there is only room for one woman in the relationship, and a good sense of humor and I am all over it like bees on honey baby!! Just be you, you never know who you will turn on just by being you!!

  27. 27
    thai marriage

    For me I am willing to date a person who will accept me for what I am not for who I am.

    1. 27.1
      The InBetweener

      WOW!! That sounds really suspect. Um, what exactly ARE you?

  28. 28
    froyo

    Totally agree with moon on functionally literate and income–as long as he supports himself.  Simple minded men who grunt and watch tv–ugh-some with masters degrees are like this. I’ve known extremes of spenders–with no money, just credit cards and frivolous, escapist addictions and very tightwady to an extreme–they usually have savings, so these are red flags. The issue of hypocrisy bothers me–I figure I can only ask for things I can give, but it seems men will demand better than they give. Women get away with this less–I see women who are BBW asking for lean men, but think the chances are slim. As I get older certain reqs have become less important–hair, height, but a few more so–he is nurturing, not secretive, I find him smart, creative, and a peer in age. At 19, I went out with older by 13 yrs, but now these guys look really old to me, but worse–sexist upbringings are hard to shake off. As time goes on and I see these 40 or 50s guys seeking 22-38 yr olds I think, I’d never date such a mentality–there is nobody I will ever like, because I don’t want to go a lot younger–we have nothing in common really, experientially. I find them naive and scared, they find me jaded or know it all. I think really, singletons will be a permanent demographic, everybody is so increasingly demanding. I think one should have reasonable demands, going back to the hypocrisy problem.

  29. 29
    Julie

    He has to be smart, open-minded, and psychologically adult. He must have a solid, middle-ground sense of empathy for others. He has to be able to laugh at himself. 
    He has to be local.
    I have to like him as a human being. He has to like me enough to consider me relationship material, not a temporary recreational partner.
    He can’t be the easily-bored guy. He has to be the passionately interested in life guy.
    His statistics don’t matter to me nearly as much as what kind of person he is. I’ve got a healthy libido–if I like him, I’ll want him.
    A healthy sex life is very important to me, but in finding a partner to share that with I’m not willing to “settle” for the guy who only has hormones to offer.

  30. 30
    hunter

    @Julie#30,
     
    …studies have shown that you can’t have both in one man, he is either a good lover or, he works a lot.   You can have a that makes money, and a lover on the side…whatever you do, is personal stuff…

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