What Percent of People Respond to Your Initial Emails on Match.com?

As you may know, before I became a dating coach, I was a prolific online dater.

I tried every site around, starting in the late 90’s. Matchmaker.com. Nerve.com. JDate.com. Match.com. eHarmony.com. Chemistry.com. And probably a few others that are escaping my memory right now. These days, PlentyOfFish.com and OkCupid.com are the two free online dating players worthy of your consideration.

But from both my personal experience and my coaching experience, I’ve learned that most people tend to fail in online dating and then blame the website.

This is like blaming the gym because you didn’t lose weight.

Site are just big boxes of single people who are trying to meet each other. Nobody shows them how to come up with clever usernames. Nobody teaches them what photos to post. Nobody illustrates how to create a unique, compelling online dating profile. Nobody teaches effective email techniques based on actual research.

This is the way normal people talk when they go to parties. They don’t tap you on the shoulder and say, “You look cute. I think we have a lot in common. Let’s go out.”

The closest anybody gets is OkCupid – and all they do is give you test results – approximately 27% of people respond to first emails, overall – they don’t show you HOW to write great first emails.

So if you’ve been frustrated with your results in online dating (and one look at the comments below indicates that you ARE), there are a number of things you can do differently to get different results. One of the most powerful ones has to do with writing first emails. Consider what most people say:

Subject: Hi

Text: Hey Pat102. I read your profile and you seem really cool. I liked your photos. You have a great smile and I think we have a lot in common, too. I noticed that you have a dog. I also have a dog. What kind do you have? Where do you like to walk your dog? Maybe we can get together sometime. So, check out my profile and if you like what I have to say, I really hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely, Chris.

If you’ve ever received an email like this, you know it sucks. But then why do you also WRITE emails like this as well? My theory is because it’s easiest – it’s what comes naturally to you. So you don’t put much thought into it, and, not surprisingly, it doesn’t get very good results. Why would it? There’s nothing funny, interesting, compelling, or different about such an email. Plus, it compliments the recipient too much – as if Chris is just praying that he/she is good enough for Pat102. No wonder Pat doesn’t respond to this display of weakness.

First emails are best when you offer your opinion of something specific in the person’s profile – but instead of doing what you normally do: “I agree. I like popcorn, too!”, you actually say something disagreeable, controversial, silly, or playful. Make an observation. Be sarcastic. Come up with a joke. Anything other than, “I like you. I like what you said. Please, please, please consider going out with me.”

For example, if someone says in his profile that he likes Costa Rica, you think about all the things you know about Costa Rica and search your brain for a humorous angle. Something other than, “I’ve heard it’s beautiful there! Tell me more!” Personally, I don’t know ANYTHING about Costa Rica, but I do know that all of my left-wing, liberal, neo-hippie friends go on yoga retreats there. Literally, the only reason I’ve even heard of Costa Rica is because of yoga.

So I use this in my email:

Subject: Yoga-Retreat Island

Hey, Pat. I have to be honest with you. I don’t know anything about Costa Rica; I think it’s in the Caribbean or Central America or something like that. All I know is that all of my left-wing yoga friends go on week-long retreats there every year. Which makes me wonder: what does it look like when you fly in at the airport? As the plane is descending, do you see 25,000 people doing down dog at the same exact time? Are there 25,000 more people who are ziplining from tree to tree? Inquiring minds want to know.

Talk soon, Chris.

You didn’t talk about yourself. You didn’t talk about the person you were writing to. You didn’t compliment the other person. You didn’t brag about yourself or sell yourself or ask anyone on any dates. You just made a silly observation about Costa Rica.

This is the way normal people talk when they go to parties. They don’t tap you on the shoulder and say, “You look cute. I think we have a lot in common. Let’s go out.”

It all starts with a little bit of witty banter.This technique is known as the Opinion Opener technique and it’s worked like a charm for thousands of women and men who’ve bought my Finding the One Online audio series.

If you’re sick of online dating – all the wrong people writing to you and the right people not writing back, here are four simple things I will teach you to do:

* You can come up with a new username/headline.
* You can post different online dating photos
* You can write a better online dating profile.
* You can improve your email technique.

All of this is explained in fascinating detail in Finding the One Online – with 7 hours of audio, a 180 page transcript and a 35 page workbook.

Click here to see for yourself how to make more people respond to your initial emails on Match.com.

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Comments:

  1. 151
    Frank

    @LVNW Sounds fun I guess I’d wind up getting rejected on the first date then because I’m not over 6ft or my income is not good enough for them etc lol. :D

    Always the pic’s I’d post better ones sure, but for me I’d probably still have poor response rates even single mothers are not responding to my messages right now. Not that I could really see myself with one of them, but they do seem like okay women though I wouldn’t know they don’t talk lol. :D

    @Shaun Same problem I feel like quiting match as well, and haven’t been there to long it gets so depressing so fast. I guess I’m pretty screwed with the whole bar thing as I don’t drink.

    I guess maybe in my 30’s I’ll have better luck, but by that time I’d probaby shot myself or do some other dumb crap expecially if I was still using match.com lol. :D

  2. 152
    Eric32

    So, I made it through about 50 posts. I have to agree with most of the statistics that the men have put up. It’s about a 10-20 % response rate from women. I’m definitely a good looking guy, I’ve done some modeling, and get compliments on my looks – not that I have an ego about my looks at all, I’m quite humble.

    However it’s frustrating reading some girls profile, and I pretty much fit her match and I write a short email expressing my interest but don’t get a response.

    It’s a shame really, the girls want all these things in a man, and when they get a genuine guy truly interested in something real they don’t have the courage to respond back, sad.

    Maybe I’ll try being equally shallow and post some racy pics and see what happens. Thats what I’ve seen most of the girls post anyways. I swear they love showing off in that bathing suite, or how there is always a pic of her doing something adventurous (ie skydiving).

    All I got to say is that I’m not digging online dating, I have much better luck going up and actually looking into her eyes and asking her for her number, lol but I don’t call so….

    Hopefully I didn’t come of as bitter, but just wanted to vent a bit.

  3. 153
    Paul

    I am a man….about……..40 sent….2 replies

  4. 154
    Heather

    i have been on match for about a month now and I am an attractive, intelligent woman. Of all the guys (about 20) that I have winked at, only one has winked back at me. JUST ONE. most of them have read my profile, but none of them have messaged me.
    my profile may have been a little abrasive and demanding (as in i stated what i wanted… too clearly apparently) and therefore i haven’t received the responses that i wanted. honestly, the shorter your written part is the better off you will be.

  5. 155
    Mary

    wow, it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me when I am reading all this. I am a 27 year old female MBA student, 5’10, marathon runner, I think most people would rate me as attractive, I have a good job and am very well traveled and I have been on match.com for 6 months and only received about 10 emails. All from guys who are creepy and about 15 years older than me. I sent out 40 emails and did not get a single reply. I do wonder why that is. I also wrote that I am not interested in ‘hooking up’ or one-night stands, is that why, are many of the guys on match after that?! I’m confused, I’d like to think I’m a nice enough and down to earth girl.

  6. 156
    Youseff

    wrote out over 50 well customised email having studied the various gals and got only one response. wrote her back twice and nothing. at a point i started having low esteem thinking maybe something’s wrong, at a point i thought it was my race.. then i started writing people of the same race and still nothing…

    its plain obvious then,that most women are on the site for the attention their getting and not necessarily because they want to socialise or date.

  7. 157
    jega

    i saw an amazing stat that 70% of african american women are single. that may sound like a scary figure, but then these same women are all on dating sites and do not reply to messages from us Men. are they saying none of us are their types. Common, u have to try something to know if it’ll work.

    Maybe we guys need to be start logging on and not sending any wink or emails, then by the time they keep paying monthly like we men mostly do, then we might get a little more appreciation.

  8. 158
    JayJay

    Match.com is horrible for guys. I’ve sent maybe 70 emails and have one reply. Met her in person, but she was crazy. After meeting her twice for a total of four hours, I felt like I was in a long term relationship. Then she went on a date with another and completely quit talking to me. No one even takes the time to look at my profile after sending them an email. At first I sent thoughtful emails, but now they’re getting shorter because it’s a waste of time. I can meet women easier going to a bar solo without even trying to meet them.

  9. 159
    James

    I’m ready to cancel my Match.com account. The woman on there are just stuck-up bitches looking for guys with six packs and $100,000/year income.
    I would suggest to everyone here to go to singles mixer events. Everyone is themselves there and you get to meet a lot of other singles in a short amount of time. That is how I met my last GF.

  10. 160
    Tyler

    I don’t know what planet all you people are using match.com on, but it sure isn’t earth. I’m male, college-educated, very intelligent, have a very financially secure future, in shape, not-bad looking, and a good sense of humor.

    I’ve sent hundreds of emails; I’ve thought out and personalized each one. I’ll get a profile view from maybe 5% in response, and I could count on one hand the number of replies I’ve gotten, and on the other hand I could count the number of “Sorry, she’s not interested” notifications I’ve gotten.

    So I think match is just not even delivering my emails, and taking $20 right out of my pocket every month.

  11. 161
    Chris

    I used this Match.com for almost a year and after so long of getting zero response, using guides on how to write better e-mails, sending dozens of e-mails (sometimes daily), and getting nothing back I just gave up on this website. I expected at least one or two meetings/first dates to come from me looking here but instead I end up with zero. None. A lot of wasted time and money and nothing to show for it. I went to a free site (Plentyoffish.com) and ended up with far better results and met my girlfriend (soon to be fiancee) there. Sorry, but with such unresponsive and uninterested women on this site I can’t in good conscience recommend Match.com to anyone, period. I’ve tried everything on Match.com’s site and tried every way it and others like it recommend to initiate first-contact. No luck. On POF I had a half-dozen interested e-mails within a few hours and even a dozen first-dates within a few short months. I have to go with results and unfortunately Match.com does not do it.

  12. 162
    Julie

    I have zero response from the guys. Just nada. Frustrates me completely.
    I tried to be funny, flirty and short. I winked, blinked, did one sentence, two sentences, and even a paragraph. Still no response from anyone. I even tried people who looked like total losers – yes, I got cynical enough to take e-mailing as an exercise.
    And I do have some attractive  profile photos. 
    I also state tin my profile that I have an accent (which I do). Maybe this is a major turn-off for the guys, but I would rather disclose it right away. So i figured that it is either my accent, or I completely suck at e-mailing.

  13. 163
    Julia

    @Julie

    Accents are rarely a turn off for anyone.

    Are you being honest with yourself and the kind of men you are messaging? Do you message users who have logged on recently? Are you messaging guys in the top 10% in looks/income, etc?

    I find it hard to believe any woman would have a zero percent response rate. Men simply don’t receive many messages. I went out with a guy last night who receives one message every week and a half, I receive 3-5 a day. Maybe you should switch up your photos? Get a friend to take some new pictures of you smiling and make sure 1 is a body shot. 

  14. 164
    Julie

    @Julia
    Dear Julia,
    Thank you for the reply.
    Yes, I am honest, especially to myself. What is the point of not being honest? This life lesson was learned long time ago.
    I e-mail people that come in the daily matches on Match.com.  I am trying to e-mail 2-3 guys every day (OK, sometimes every other day). Majority of them have been active in the last 24 hrs. Well, yes, I do tend to e-mail more to the people that are attractive to me, but that does not necessarily mean the top 10%, my taste as looks go is pretty simple. I am 46, a bit on a chubby side (not a lot, size 10 clothes). Great smile, long hair. Smile shot is present in the profile. Body shot in a flowing dress is also there. I did have a body shot in a tight top and jeans, showing that I do have chest and waist, but I removed it, because it seemed to attract some 60+ guys with horrible spelling who called me beauty and proposed to meet and roll (whatever it means). It was not helping me to get replies from the guys I e-mailed to anyway, so I deleted it.

  15. 165
    Mark

    I am very picky, and haven’t sent out many emails. I only contact people I think would be a good match for me. I think I’m average looking, but in the past I’ve attracted the attention of some very beautiful women, so either I’ve got one or two exceptional features or else I attracted women who don’t care about looks. I have a solid income and an honest profile. On match.com, I’m batting 0-for-4, although to be fair one of the women was inactive and another women chose not to subscribe. On OkCupid, I am batting 0-for-2. I think if I got any kind of response from a woman, even “sorry but I don’t think we have chemistry, good luck” I would probably do back flips.

  16. 166
    JF

    Can’t believe I’m reading this!  As a woman on match.com ( just joined) I’ve received one email but loads of winks… I’ve sent out ten emails to men who I thought seemed nice, articulate and close by… nothing so far.  Sometimes its not looks – although to be honest if somebody looks really old compared to the age they’ve stated that puts me off and I’ve contacted people with no photo – because their profile is interesting.  It’s the profile & ad – gentlemen –  if you can’t think to put anything witty, interesting about your life apart from your height, age… then it doesn’t matter if you look like George Clooney I won’t be contacting you.  In the emails I’ve sent I’ve tried to be interesting – asked them something about their profile that interested me.  If there’s nothing in your profile – what can you say?  Will see how it goes – not holding out much hope. BTW I’m slim, blond, fairly attractive (so my friends say), nice and not looking for a handsome prince or any of that rubbish, I don’t have high expectations… just a nice, genuine man will do me!

  17. 167
    Jack

    I am an average looking fifty year old divorced man with a ten year old daughter.  I own my law firm and made about $300,000 last year.  After thirty emails to 45-50 year olds on match.com – zero responses.  Zero.  
    Then I saw one of the ladies I emailed working the cash register at a big box hardware store.  For that 47 year old checkout girl, I wasn’t even good enough to even return an email.  
    There’s a reason people like me date women in their twenties.

  18. 168
    Phil Stevens

    This is what happens with Match. The great looking guys email the stunning looking women. But…the ratio of guys to women is totally skewered – too many guys are chasing too few girls- so even a lot of the good looking guys get hardly any responses and get disheatened- so what do these guys do? They aim a bit lower that they would normally and start emailing the above average looking women.
    The knock on effect of this? The above average guys struggle to get much of look in when they email the above average women. So what do they do? – start emailing the average looking women. Then the average guys (the majority) struggle to get a look in so what do they do…i think you get the idea.
    Basically, there are so many men on the site that its hard to get responses from girls in your league, so you try to go for girls a bit below what you’d normally consider, but even then you still find it tough because all the other guys in your league have had to do that too!
    I have also read with interest the comments that guys with a poor hit rate for emails have only themselves to blame – they have an unimaginative profile, rubbish pictures, dont tailor their emails’. Well my hit rate for emails on match is probably similar to a lot of the other posters on here – less than 5% (none of which led to dates). But get this – i went on another site, USED EXACTLY THE SAME profile, pics and style of emails, only went for girls in my league and got something more like a 20% response rate and more importantly, some dates. Funny, that…

  19. 169
    John Loy

    @Phil Steven

    What was the site?

  20. 170
    John Loy

    I have had similar low success rates as the other guys on here. I am 24, an engineer, 6’4, athletic, not brad pit but not ugly. I didn’t calculate what my first email out response rate was, but off the top of my head I would say it is <30%. I’m ok with that because you only need to find the one, but I’m having a problem keeping the fire lit in the following emails. I have found that if you have already talked for a few emails back and forth and you notice her giving less and less effort to keep the conversation going, dont email her for a day or two. It lets her know that she is not the only thing you have going on in your life. It adds a little mystery of who you are in her eyes too (“what was he doing that day,” “why didn’t he email me at 6 o’clock like he always does?”). When I do this it seems to add a spark to the conversation and she immediately puts more effort forth. I think response timing is important, and is something that hasn’t been addressed here. This of course only applies after she has responded to your initial email.

  21. 171
    Ricardo

    Wow! After reading the comments on this site, I feel like a stud with my ~10% response rate on match.  It’s interesting to note that the only guy on here who isn’t 50 (post menopausal women aren’t exactly in high demand) who claims to have much success is the guy who makes a living selling online dating guides. 
    I agree with others who have said it’s simple economics.  Since guys are expected to initiate, and since it’s so easy to send messages, women get far more attention from far  more attractive guys than they otherwise would. The result is a very unfriendly market for guys.  Trust me when I tell you have a better chance just going to a semi public place (Whole Foods, a book store, bar etc) and just chatting up women in your league.  If you enjoy going to those places anyway, the “cost” to you is zero.

  22. 172
    Mike

    I guess I’ve had a different experience than most on here. As a guy, I’ve clocked in at 100% response rate.  Granted my email pool was a total of 6 and I was very specific with what I was looking forward (yes, very attractive was one of them).  I know many say its a numbers game but after going on some great first dates with these girls it gets real hard to manage “numbers”…a nice problem to have in a way.  I asked them why they replied (in light humorous banter of course) and it came down to 3 things (none of which will be a revelation to readers here): 1) a well written, balanced profile with self-deprecating humor, 2) nice photos demonstrating that I’m attractive and 3) an opening email with substance that refers directly to her profile and uses a “hook” subject line to draw her in.
    Having asked a couple of my girlfriends to show me the emails they get from guys, it’s no freaking wonder so many guys have such a low hit rate for 2 primary reasons.  These girls were receiving 1)a sh!tton of obviously canned emails from, 2) people that didn’t at all fit the profile of what they clearly stated they were looking for.  Seriously, the VAST MAJORITY of emails they got fit BOTH of these criteria!
    Lessons?  Instead of blasts, get super targeted with your emails.  Since you’re writing less emails, make yours better than the others she’ll get (that goes for adding a good subject line), write a profile that is genuine, funny (not too funny) and self-deprecating.  And get some damn flattering pics up with a nice genuine smile.
    I’m a data point of one and could be full of sh!t, but you may wish to give my suggestions a shot.
     

  23. 173
    JB

    @Chris #168 for me it’s just the opposite. I have the same exact profile up on Match and POF. First off in my area/age range(Chicago suburbs 42-55 age range) I can barely find any women on POF that I WANT to email and when I do I get ignored 99% of the time and in 4 yrs I might of met 5 women from POF. On Match every day there’s a lot of women to email and the sheer numbers of quality female profiles is almost shocking and because I do keep track(not by %) in the last 2 1/2 yrs. I’ve met around 30 on Match and 5 on POF. But I email way more women on Match because the quantity and quality is there. We call POF the “trailor park” of internet dating sites in my area…LOL In other words you get what you pay for. I would say less than 5% of women in my area are on both sites. My profile always stays hidden on POF so the only women that see it are the very few that I chosse email. When I do put it “up”(searchable) for a day or 2 believe me you wouldn’t believe who emails or wants to “meet me”(POF’s version of winking)…LOL :-)
    And Mike #179 6 for 6? Good for you! But like you and everyone above me in this thread, unless we all see your exact profile/pics as well as those that you’re emailing and competeing against it’s hard to judge anyone’s “response rate” etc all of these things matter…… Just sayin…….One persons “attractive” is another persons “Ewwwww”.
     

  24. 174
    Mike

    @JB, you’ll just have to take ‘ol anonymous me at my word that I’m only emailing women that would probably be considered top 10% attractive, in no less a big city …in other words, zero risk of the “ewwww” factor. ;)  Since I’m pretty much anonymous here, I have no compelling reason to boast or make sh!t up.  Although, yeah, I’m pretty damn proud of my response rate (8 for 8 at this point). Just thought I’d share what I think works for me and hope it may benefit others.
    I have some very good looking male friends and they get maybe max 50% response rate.  Having looked at their profiles, they’re invariably missing the self-deprecating humor part and their opening emails are way, way, way too low effort.

  25. 175
    Serena

    Interesting…. I’ve ready all of your posts and it appears that online dating isn’t very effective.  
    I’m a woman, 28, and I’ve never been married, educated, slender, pretty and well rounded.  I have tried pretty much all the sites.  From eHarmony, Match.com, POF, OK Cupid and even Christian Mingle.  None has worked.  
    How does one meet your soul mate these days?  Why is it so hard!

    1. 175.1
      Steve

      You’re right, Serena, OLD doesn’t work very well. I’ll tell you why it’s hard. You’ve got 100% of the women chasing the top 20% of the men, and not even giving guys who are actually in their league so much as the time of day. Problem is, the top 20% of the male population is only interested in the top 20% of the female population. That means 80% of the women online are getting suboptimal results, wondering why they’re not having any success, (then they blame it all on men, natch) and 80% of the guys aren’t getting anywhere at all.

      The thing that amazes me about OLD is something that works in such a lopsided way is as profitable as it is. Right now, OLD only works for women, and for a handful of guys who were blessed with good looks.

      The only suggestion I can make is that women are going to have to change their standards and stop insisting on perfection when they themselves are far, far from perfect.

  26. 176
    Brandon

    I tried to do what you mentioned in the article in match.com,  and I have sent of 40 emails.  And I have not had one single email response back.  I don’t consider myself a super hot stud, Just normal average run of the mill guy.  I don’t really understand what I am doing wrong.

  27. 177
    jhc389

    I’ve read through almost all these comments because I find it really interesting how men and women experience online dating differently. Until I found this site and others like it I assumed most women typically got one or two emails a week; I had no idea that I was competing with hundreds of emails for the attention of one person (which is really quite disheartening and makes me want to take a completely different approach to dating, to be honest – if that even exists still). But perhaps there’s something that can be taken from that knowledge that will alter my approach in the future. My current approach has been to write a brief message complimenting the person on something in her profile and asking questions in order to start a conversation (which inevitably fails every time).
    I do not believe that chemistry or the potential for a long term relationship can be quantified or accurately determined through a couple silly, flirty emails (at least not for me anyway). I would much prefer to get to truly get to know someone through a longer and more intimate exchange, but unfortunately that seems impossible because of the number of emails women receive. My own experience has been pretty atrocious, as I’ve been on Match, OKC, POF, and EH for 3 years now and have received all of 2 responses to emails I’ve sent. Every date I’ve gone on has been when the woman contacted me first.
    I’m a 6’0″ caucasian male with far better than average looks (say 8 or 9 out of 10), very fit but not He-Man (I’m an avid swimmer), I have a master’s degree from one of the top schools in the country, and I have a respectable job that I do because I believe in it (work in nonprofits), but I’m not rich and I do not post my income online. I won’t lie, looks are important to me and do determine to some degree who I choose to contact, but more than anything I’m just looking for the person who would be right for ME. Based on my own experience and the experiences of others I’ve read about I do believe this is a flawed system that fails a large percentage of the population simply because of the nature of the game. Some people are good at it; some people are not, which in most cases really has very little to do with what kind of person you are or who you will truly click with in the long term. In a perfect world, women would have time and energy to get to know all the guys who sent them thoughtful messages, but unfortunately it’s just not that way. I think most guys are just like me – spinning their wheels in an environment where the deck is stacked against them, doomed to question their own worth because of a flawed system rather than any fault or inadequacy of their own.
    Now, for my biggest online dating pet peeves:
    1. Spammers: Seriously, all you do is occupy women’s time and make the rest of us who actually put effort into our emails less visible.
    2. Women who wink and don’t respond: What a slap in the face that is. You’re basically saying “Here, you go through all the effort of composing an email, and then I’ll decide whether or not it’s worthy of my attention.” If you’re actually interested, send me a note with at least one question that shows you’re interested in who I am. I’ve completely stopped responding to winks for this reason.
    3. Dating sites themselves: I’ve read a lot on here about how most members are non-paying or even bots. I can’t tell you how many bots have winked at me on Match. If the person is a non-paying member the site should post that information on the profile so guys like me don’t get insanely frustrated contacting people who can’t even read the email or aren’t actually serious about meeting/chatting.
    4. Guys who message a woman and clearly do not fit within the specified criteria listed on the profile: Again, stop wasting their time and making it harder for the rest of us to get noticed. 
    5. Anyone who is looking for the ‘perfect match.’ It doesn’t exist, and even if it did you likely wouldn’t know it just by reading their profile or a message or two.
    Well, I think my venting is done for now. If any attractive women in the CO area pity my experience and would like to get to know me, please respond to this thread :) 
    Cheers!

  28. 178
    Jenn

    I’m really beginning to think there’s something wrong with Match.com. I’m on Match and Plenty of Fish at the moment and I can say that without a doubt, I have had a MUCH better experience on POF. I’ve been on several POF dates, and only two Match dates. Match has nothing but old men winking and emailing me. Sure, I get the occasional guy my age contacting me but they’re usually not my type (ie. wrong ethnicity, doesn’t want kids, too fat, allergic to animals, etc). On POF I have not had ONE guy over the age of 40 (my highest age limit) contacting me. There must be something in their filtering system that doesn’t allow people who are too old to contact me. Match needs to take a leaf out of their book, because I am so SICK of opening my emails only to find that the guy is almost as old as my father. I even specify in my profile that I want someone my age! I do NOT want to date someone over 40. No disrespect to them because I’m sure they’re good guys, but I want someone with whom I can share first experiences (ie. first husband-and-wife dance, first child, etc). Someone who is my peer in every way. I already have a father, I don’t need another one!

  29. 179
    M.L.

    “I’m a 6’0″ caucasian male with far better than average looks (say 8 or 9 out of 10).”
    Lol. Sorry dude, but if you were far better than average your results would be far better than average. I don’t want to add to the already massive weight of fake profiles on match, but as an experiment, if you were to put pics on your profile of a guy you know for a fact women think is hot, you would be swamped with messages, and could get women stalking you in response to an email saying “Mother says I can have the car this weekend; wanna hang out with me?”
    All people are, of psychological necessity, narcissistic to some extent. Much as vanity displeases us, we all tend to think we are better looking, more intelligent, and more unique and interesting than we actually are. Everybody on mathas and the other dating sites who has had poor results says the same thing; “I don’t get it! I’m so good looking, yet even mediocre chicis ignore me!” Sorry, but the number of responses you get is a much more reliable indicator of how physically attractive you are than your own biases self perception. And another thing; though being out of shapenor overweight can definitely turn girls off, being physically fit or even muscular doesn’t mean much to women if you don’t have a pretty face. It sucks to hear but it’s true. 
    There is no magic bullet here. Katz is selling stuff, and is a good looking, affluent, intelligent guy; he is in no position to be offering advice to people who just aren’t that hot, lol. 
    On the bright side, research suggests that the vast majority of cuseless are miserable anyway. All of this will be over sooner or later. The only real solution is alcohol, lol.
     

  30. 180
    M.L.

    Autocorrect strikes again!
    mathas = match
    cuseless = couples

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