What Percentage of Your Online Dates Lied About Their Age, Height, Weight or Photo?

What percentage of your online dates lied about their age, height, weight or photo?

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  1. 1

    Jesus, Evan, are you ever prolific! I can barely keep up with all this!


    I personally haven’t [lied]. I put up the most recent pics of myself I have at the moment, and don’t attempt to embellish anything else.

  2. 2

    Oh, I misread the question.

    What percentage of my dates… hmm… well, at least 50, possibly more. I haven’t kept tabs.

    Btw, sometimes a lie is something as seemingly innocuous as wearing some sort of a head covering in your photo, which turns out to have been a disguise for lack of hair or some weird shape of skull.

    The most ridiculous one is lying about one’s height – don’t you think I’ll notice?

  3. 3

    90% of men lie about their height. I am not sure what they are thinking as I clearly state that I am 5’9–if they claim to be taller than me I’m going to notice when they’re not.

  4. 4

    Alas, I believe that number to be 100%. The guys who included lines about truth, integrity, and honesty in their profiles or introductory emails were the worst offenders.

  5. 5

    Maybe I’ve been pretty lucky, but the guys I’ve actually ended up going out with have usually been telling the truth. With one notable exception, the guys were close enough to their stated height that I couldn’t obviously tell it was a lie, and ditto with their age. Of the four categories Evan mentioned, the photo is the one which is most incongruous with the person when I actually meet them, but that’s not too common either. But one thing Evan didn’t mention people lying about is their marital status. There are some married folks trolling around on these sites, and I have found a few of them.

  6. 6

    I guess I was pretty lucky: as far as I could tell, no one I went out with via an online service misrepresented themselves physically or in terms of age. But I’ve heard plenty of horror stories, so I know it happens a lot.

    Now, I did go out with someone who was a pathological liar about plenty of other aspects of his life, but that’s another story.

  7. 7

    My BF not only lies about his height on his MySpace page of all things, he wore lifts on our first date. He quickly abandoned this when he discovered he liked me (since I would have found out eventually), but there you have it.

  8. 8

    I would have to say at least 50% or more. It usually the photo not being a recent one or as JuJu commented wearing a hat. I’ve also had men lie about their marital status-saying they’re divorced when they’re only separated.

  9. 9

    I have been disappointed that 50% of the men whom I’ve met through online dating sites have lied about their age, their occupation, their height, and have posted photos older than ten years. Why would someone, who is 52, lie that he’s 49? Is there some perceived bias for men under 50? All it says to me is that this person is deceitful and that I wouldn’t be able to trust him.

    This is my biggest problem with online dating — people who are dishonest. With online dating sites you can make yourself out to be whomever you want to be. More often than not I find myself doing a Google search once I find out the person’s full name.

  10. 10

    What perfect timing! I just went through this scenerio and needless to say i was disappointed. She advertised her age at being 48 and she was really 51. Now i’m a 45 year old guy and normally i date women in their late 30’s only due to the fact that i am really young for my age, in good shape and have more in common with 30 year olds. But this one woman who i thought was 48 was really interesting and we had some great emails so i decidided to meet her for dinner. Of coarse it was obvious right off the bat that she was older and during dinner also had admitted to me that her photos online were photoshopped. Well i was pissed to say the least. I can understand someone lieing about their age if they really look good but when you look like the older person what are you thinking? Like some of the other posts have said…don’t you think i’m going to notice? Especially altering your pics…NOT cool! I believe you are what you are and you should only want to be with someone who likes you for that. Anything else is just smoke and mirrors! Oh and one more thing, i’m an honest 6’0 tall and don’t really get the thing about men lieing about their height either. It must be an insecurity issue but as i said i’ve never had a problem with my height so i can lend no intelligent comment on the issue…but i did stay at a holiday inn last night…lol!

    1. 10.1

      wow…….you complain about this woman telling lies (BTW, learn to spell “Lieing”) and then laugh about sleeping with her (just to get…even? – yuk) at the end. That’ll show her! You’re some piece of work. 

    2. 10.2

      Women in their late 30’s are not young anymore and usually look just as old as women in their early 40’s, there really is no difference at that age, if you want to date “younger” because you are “young” for your age and “in good shape” you should be dating 30-34 year olds .

      1. 10.2.1

        This is completely dependent on lifestyle and fitness. I see people of both genders in their late teens and early 20s all the time who look truly awful. I also see men and women in their 40s through 60s in my gym who look freakin’ fantastic. I’d take that great looking, fit 50 something guy before the paunchy, doughy 25 year old any day.

        1. Ines

          Yeah I completely agree, but what I was referring to was the fact that he brags about looking younger and therefore dating young, when the age he quotes isn’t even that young anymore, but it is to him just because it doesn’t start with a 4..Goes to show how much dudes don’t accept their age past 40, even just a few years younger to them is young.

    3. 10.3

      LAMO: If I only had a nickel for every middle aged or elderly man who said he was “young for his age and is in great shape” in order to entice younger women into dating them. Usually they say, “I’m as fit as a 25 year old.” Seriously, ALL of them do this. It’s become such a cliche men really should just never say this. Ever.

      1. 10.3.1
        Evan Marc Katz

        And, as you may or may not know, women say the EXACT same thing, Al.

        1. Christine

          I’ve heard both men and women say this.  Actually, the people I’ve met who I think really do look great for their age (a 45 year old spin instructor I know comes to mind) never say that.  They just let their looks speak for themselves.


        2. Al

          Oh, I know. I just only hear it put in quite those words from dudes. We live in a very youth oriented culture.

  11. 11

    I would guess that 75% of men lie about one of the above. Sometimes it just might be their perception rather than mine. They may think they are a tad overweight when they are (in my view) HUGE. I think one of the bigger lies is about intellect. I find a lot of men describe themselves as intelligent – and, let’s face it -they are not.
    Speaking about lying – I’ve done it, too, when I was new to this online dating thing. Not anymore.

  12. 12

    So far 25% have lied about age, weight and hair. One guy had 15 pictures of himself all bald so I didn’t recognize him when I walked in the almost empty bar because he had a full head of hair. Another lied about his age in his profile but mentioned it on the first call.
    About 90% of men have commented on the first date that they were surprised I looked like my picture and physical description.

  13. 13
    The Inbetweener

    I would have to say 0%.

    Pretty much any woman that I have met online were close to what they said they were.

  14. 14

    I would have to say 65% or more. You can usually tell by their pictures (if they are recent ones) whether they are full of it or not though.

  15. 15

    I would say most of them are not accurate about their height, the photo’s not being recent, age too. Percentage wise maybe 20% I also have to say that upon meeting them if the person is interesting etc I will just overlook all this and not even make a big deal. I had one guy telling me that he was really 51 and not 49. Well it did not bother me at all

  16. 16

    Most of the guys that I have met have been honest. Only a few have been dishonest about their physical condition — I never ask or pay attention to weight because it can look so different on people based on their body type. So, I’ve met a few guys who say they are athletic and toned and have beer-gut bellies. Once I met a guy whose picture was about 20 years old. He admitted that his picture was old, but he justified his deception by saying that his mother told him that if any woman made a big deal about how old his picture was, why then she was just too shallow for him (this guy was 48 years old, by the way).

    I never lie about my age or physical condition, but I don’t tell my weight because I have several accurate, up-to-date full body photos on my profile. If a man needs a number, then I’m not the one for him — as there are only three people who need to know that number — me, my doctor, and God!

  17. 17
    Evan Marc Katz


    Imagine if a TV advertisement said, “Buy this Toyota. But if you want to know how it looks, it’s miles per gallon, and its’ crash-test ratings, don’t even bother – we’re the wrong car company for you.”

    How well would Toyota do? Your intentions are pure, but your methodology and inability to understand men are undoubtedly hurting your chance to find love.

    So please, sign up for my free teleclass on Tuesday:

    You can listen to it live, or on recording and learn about the Top Mistakes You’re Making Online and Why Men Do What They Do.

    I assure you – it’s priceless information – that I’m giving to you for nothing…

    Warmest wishes,


  18. 18

    Oh, come on – do you believe every advertisement on TV?
    It is naive to think that people “tell the truth”, when it is also a matter of interprintation.
    Secondly: Do you take your guest to the backyard and show how bad your trashcan is?

    I say in my profile directly that “If you want to know my age, my profession, or my weight etc. directly, I am a wrong person for you” -> it means I put numbers to my profile totally without shame what so ever – since those facts are my private matter, not for anyone else to know. I am not a car, and since I’m not for sale either, my spesifications are my business.

    But my pictures are recent, and they show the situation as it is.. if a man can’t estimate from there, that is his problem.

    And the fact is, after meeting a lot of them, they all say that I am really like my profile.. both in person, and in looks. The only problem is..
    I am not interested in them, so it ends there.

  19. 19

    Hmm. Most guys I’ve dated online have fudged in some way. Most (80-90%) of the pictures weren’t completely accurate, i.e. they hid their bald spot or it was taken before they put on some weight. I haven’t had an online guy lie about his age…yet.

  20. 20
    Karl R

    I must also be one of the lucky ones. I haven’t caught anyone lying to me yet. Of course, I define “lying” a bit differently than Elli (#11). If someone describes themselves as intelligent, and they’re not, I would say they are mistaken. It’s not a lie unless they know they’re not that bright.

    I’ve also dated a few women who did not look like all their pictures. They looked like at least one of their pictures (sometimes the best picture). As long as I can recognize the woman from her photo, I feel it’s sufficiently accurate.

    I assume that it’s in my best interest to be truthful. If I lie, the woman will find out the truth eventually … and she’ll think I’m a liar.

  21. 21

    I’d have to say that it’s about 60% against telling the truth for weight/photo in my experience. Usually it’s an older picture posted and some remark relating to them “just joining the gym again” or “just started running again” or something like that to cushion the fact that they’re no longer the same, uh, specimen of fitness that the pictures supposes them to be.

    Of course there’s always one extremist in the group. Such as the guy who posted his roommate’s pictures instead of his own. Imagine my surprise when instead of being the guy I thought I was getting to know so well on IM’s and in email, there was this complete stranger. The stupid thing is that his roommate wasn’t going to make Brad Pitt go weep in the corner by any means. Nor would the pictures of the real guy have scared me off, had he sent them. Instead I told him we had no chance because all he’s shown me was that he was unable to be honest with me.

    I don’t understand why people lie, truly I don’t. And I say this as a 40+ single mother of three who is light years away from fitting the top ten list of any guy in my dating age range on any site. It’s not as if we’re not going to work out pretty quickly that someone’s been less than honest and what kind of base for a relationship is that?

  22. 22
    Dating Headshots

    Outdated dating profile photos (or sometimes even altered photos) are the biggest complaint from online daters that I hear. The photo is the first thing people look and because of it’s importance it’s the one thing that probably gets lied about the most. (That and maybe height for guys) You’re just being deceitful if you offer up a 5-10 year old photo of yourself as the real thing. Like has been said before “You didn’t think I would notice?!”

  23. 23

    I would say at least 75%+ of the women I dated lied about their age and the same percentage had an older photo posted, with some photos at least 10 years old. Some lied about their education. The last one I dated lied about her age, education, height and had 5 photos all of which were from 5 to 10 years old.

  24. 24

    Lied about their education how? And why?

  25. 25

    JuJu…She said she has a 2 year Associates Degree in her profile but slipped up in conversation by revealing she never attended college. The reason why she lies about herself is because she doesn’t feel good about who she is…..low self esteem.

  26. 26

    I’ve only met four men in person from online, but they were all truthful about their appearance. Actually, three were more handsome in person and the fourth looked exactly like his picture.

  27. 27

    I think that people lie (or intentionally misstate the truth) because they’re hoping the person they’re dating will fall in love with them before the truth comes out, and hoping that it’s too late to change how they feel about you. Obviously, some of the parameters are qualitative (e.g. body type), rather than quantitative (e.g. height). One person’s “slender” might be another person’s “average,” but there’s no denying the yardstick, unless you play games with lifts and stilettos and such.

  28. 28

    Evan, I’ve bought your book.. but since I am in Europe, I didn’t see the point of calling there for it but I downloaded it.. =)

    The fact is, I am not exactly serious in finding anyone at the moment. I work in a small place where I would never ever date anyone, too small a circles.
    I don’t want to stay here, but having a relationship at home (250 km away) when I am home only 2 days in a week.. not any relationship can handle it, that is the big thing, not my profile.

    Anyway if someone really is interested my profile, they write to me.. and if I am online, I get some 10-20 approaches daily anyway – those are based on my pictures, I guess? =D Men don’t evidently read? Or that (only negative thing in my profile,) is well hidden..

    And the fact is, I don’t want to take it off.. being a bit like Lance here.. more than a bit kinky.. I just don’t see how anyone wishwashy would be interesting to me. Oh, I have had couple of men whom I have seen looking at my profile, and not answering me if I wrote to them.. but in that they just proved that they are uninteresting, and I wouldn’t have that important part in common anyway.

    The fact just is.. I can date a kinky curious man, but I could never date a total vanilla, who is against role playing etc.

    But do I say that in my profile.. Nope, I’m entitled to privacy.. like with age, education and weight/height.

  29. 29

    Still to Evans comment.. Did you notice that I said, there ARE recent photos, that show what I am like – so I don’t put out spesifications.
    I’m not a car, nor an object – and I refuse to do that.

    A whole body picture and few facial pictures say tell it how it is a lot better.

  30. 30

    It’s like what Dr House says: “Everybody Lies”!

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