What Percentage of Your Online Dates Lied About Their Age, Height, Weight or Photo?

What percentage of your online dates lied about their age, height, weight or photo?

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  1. 61

    Lol, dude. This one guy was very demanding and refused to even come out on a date with me unless he saw me on web cam first. Somehow, he couldn’t believe my photos were real, and wanted to make sure I wasn’t “fat”. Mind you, this guy (on my own aesthetic scale) was around a 5/10. Average, but I wasn’t hung up on it so much. WELL, I finally give in to his request to talk on webcam, but I was spared by the grace of the Universe/Karma/God/whatever, because there were some technical difficulties. I could see him on cam but thankfully he could not see me…
    and OMG. Dude looked NOTHING like his photo. He was at least 50 lbs heavier and had about 75% LESS hair on his head… and looked way older too. I was so annoyed, ESPECIALLY since he was the one being so judgmental at first! LOL. I mean, really? What a riot. Needless to say, he and I don’t talk anymore. Online dating liars really annoy me. I mean, come on, I’m eventually going to find out what you look like! What’s the point of lying? Lol.

  2. 62

    I would say 99% of men lie about their height.  Many men over 45 lie about their age (very badly I might add).  Maybe about 20% lie about their weight/body size.  I think we lie to ourselves about our prospects pictures, we see what we want to see.  Most of the time it is an unrealistic perception of them that our dates can never live up to, so if we have very low and realistic expectations or none on looks, no harm no foul. That said when they only have 1 pic and it’s amazing it’s going to be bad.  One pic is always a red flag, it says they had to search and search and for 1 good photo, not a good thing.

  3. 63

    In my experience, I would say half.  I’m 5’10”, so the biggest lie is their height – men tend to add an inch or two.  Then it’s body type and most recently age.  I agree with Genie – one pic is always a red flag.  I post as many as can be allowed and they are always within the last 12 months showing not just head shots (another red flag).

  4. 64

    I am in my late 30’s, and most of the women I date are in advertised their profile as being in late 20’s to early 30’s.
    I’ve been lucky. There are things I don’t like about online dating, but I do have to admit that every girl I’ve met seems to have been more or less truthful about their profile. “More or less” is the key expression. They were truthful about where they graduated, what they did for a living, their pictures being up to date, far as I could tell. I have met a couple women, though, who was maybe an inch taller than advertised, and one girl I suspect is a year older than advertised (she said she graduated in 200x which would make her a year older than she listed in her profile unless she skipped grades or something).
    I get that the prose in people’s online dating profiles is marketing/exaggeration. Everyone says that they are “laid back and adventurous and has family and friends they would do anything for” and I’m sure that maybe 30% of the time, everyone probably can be accurately described this way. So I take it not too seriously.

  5. 65

    Funny, I clicked on a profile once and it was like that age enhancing software that is used to find missing children.
    It was like someone the profile was rigged so that the main picture was what turned out to be something that was easily 20 years old (as in taken 20 years ago, not a picture of the person at 20)…so when you went to the profile, it was like looking at pictures of the same person’s father.
    The guy was using a pic from when he was probably in his 30’s and must currently be in his late 50’s, so of course the age he had listed was a huge lie b/c I’m in my 30’s and I’m not looking for a father figure.
    A lot of men who do include body shots seem to misunderstand what “athletic and toned” means, and I wouldn’t care although many of those “athletic and toned” men as well as some that are heavy, still demand only “slender” women, of which I am not.
    I think some men have figured out to lie about their ages to be included in searches that would filter them out, and others will use a younger main profile pic to appear younger for the same reason (and one guy’s first line was an angry missive about why it was really okay for him to use a decade old shot from his modeling days).
    I just assume that ALL men lie about their heights by 2 inches on average (as a 5’6 tall woman men my height seem to believe that they are 5’8), and I wouldn’t even being to believe any published income info. (I wonder why that is on there b/c I feel like men will lie about it and as a women who earns well it’s not exactly something that I get points for, so why bother?)
    Some people have unusual ways of defining race and ethnicity too, but usually it relates to what they want to wind up with rather than what they actually are.

  6. 66

    Oh, please…80% or more. I’ve had one guy who posted a 20 year-old picture. I would not even have recognized another date if hadn’t brought his dog along for our walk. He was 10 years older and 30 lbs heavier than his pictures… good thing his dog was not! The other thing that gets me is clearly overweight men who say they are “athletic and toned”. Hefting a few weights at the gym to firm up your triple chin is NOT being fit. I work out every day and keep thin to be more attractive to men. Being a former fatty I know men don’t date heavy women. I think I have a right to expect the same from my potential partners.

  7. 67

    Even Evan Marc Katz lies in his profile. On his website and PR photos his eyes are blue. But in his video they are brown. What is up with that!?

    1. 67.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      @Megan: This might be the funniest comment I’ve ever received on this blog. My eyes are blue-green. When it’s well-lit, you can see it very clearly, as in the professional photos on my website. When I’m taking a video with my flipcam, my irises are large, because they’re trying to take in light, and you can’t see the color of my eyes. I have never altered the color of my eyes for a photo. The only thing I’ve ever lied about is saying that I’m 5’10”, when I’m actually closer to 5’9″.

      You really must chill.

  8. 68

    100% of them (two); that killed it for me, one said she was 15 years younger and the other that she was 75 pounds lighter. never again; I don’t trust online dating.

  9. 69

    Like one of the posters above, I lie about my age ’cause I get away with it, period. Have to, ’cause if I put my real age I would get next to no emails even from average Joes. On a scale of 1-10, I’ve been told I’m an 8 or 9 in looks…..Men are that sexist/ageist here in South Carolina though I date many “Yankees”. LOL….Still, it’s really, really discouraging  I have to do this. Prior to online dating I was always very upfront about my age to everyone. Proud of my age, generation, etc.

    But like the poster above, though 58 now I’ve been told a lot I look 39-40 or maybe 45 (depends upon sleep, lighting, you name it!), so I did it early on. And yes, I’ve had plastic surgery.  Otherwise I am honest about all the rest.

    I also give my last name sometime after the first or second date so if these men weren’t so self-absorbed and/or busy they could easily google me and get at my real age. So far NOT A SINGLE MAN has done this to my knowledge. In any case, by the third date I usually tell the man I’m “further along in my fifties” but if he needs an exact number, well….I tell them “why go there- is it relevant?” I’m an athlete, never get sick, look so young, etc. We are all aging I’ve decided and women outlive men so that’s my ultimate justification I guess….

    I mean what’s the point if I am only looking for a weekend boyfriend (what I typically tell me) and NOT another husband?

    I don’t think I’ve met many men who lied about their age (maybe one), but two clearly used an OLD photo. One guy used a current photo but I think God himself took it, ’cause when we met I was somehow NOT the same man, hard to explain….

  10. 70

    Avg 3~5 inc shorter and they are not fit or slender but pudgy if not obese with big beer bellies they can’t button their shirts…. I enjoy active life style so if a person rather linger to watch sports on tv gulping soda or beer rather than do actually play sports, then we are not compatible. Therefore, I weed out ‘average (b/c I’m convinced that average means few extra pounds in the online dating world.) and ‘few extra pounds’ and contact ‘fit and athletic’ exclusively.  Not only none of them fell into the category but shorter than they said on their profile.  Photoshopped or ancient pictures or whatever, men in 40~50, please do something about your weight issues as it is a preventive health care practice.  
    I agree with Susan.

  11. 71

    I think a big reason that guys lie on-line is that a lot of women base their choices on criteria like height, age, weight, hair, etc.
    I just joined Match.com. I was blown away that more than 50% of the women wanted men taller than 5’10” and I should mention that this is coming from women 5’9″ or shorter (most were in the 5’2 to 5’8 range). As a guy, I feel like I am immediately off limits to them when I am an inch shorter and meet all the other “statistical criteria.”
    I’ve also been on Plenty of Fish. I notice that lots of women want younger guys, or that they have an upper limit of 40 years old. Here are common examples: 38 year old woman wants a guy 30 to 40. If I am 41, what do I do if I really want to introduce myself to her? I can’t.
    It you are a guy just shy of 5’10” and even 1 day over 40, you have been rejected by a vast range of the on-line dating pool. I don’t like to like, and I haven’t, but I’m seriously thinking of dropping my age by 1 or 2 years.

  12. 72

    There is no reason why anyone needs to lie. There are so many people out there with different heights and ages. When I find that someone lied about his age, it confirmed how they behave in a  relationship. This type of person tend not to commit in a relationship and continues to be on the site. Just a red flag for a lot of women out there. Honesty should be one of the 1st qualities that we seek in a relationship.

  13. 73

    I hear where you’re coming from.  That is exactly the reason that I was considering taking a few years off my age: I’m 38, but being lucky (maybe cos I’m mixed race, maybe cos I’m slim)  I look younger.  Certainly enough to get away with a couple of years off; probably more but I’d feel uncomfortable with that.  It would be my only deception (yeah, it’s hard to use the word lie, but I suppose a lie it is); is that really so bad.  Like @Ellen, I’m not looking for a spouse either; just a friendship which might become something a little more.

    As for “38 year old woman wants a guy 30 to 40″, well, good luck with that. I anticipate that I will find it difficult to meet a 30 year-old woman as a 38 year-old male.  I know there are *some* guys who like younger women, but really….

    I suppose where the little lie might go wrong is when you meet someone for whom the lie would have been unnecessary (e.g. say I meet a 35 year-old who was looking for 30 to 40) but who, upon finding out about said deception, feels Not Good about it.

    And as for all those women looking for blokes over 5’10″….well, that would be reasonable for a woman over 5’7″ (perhaps) but really, how many women are over 5’7″?  I do remember though, years ago, a mate of mine who was dating used to complain about the huge number of women doing online dating who were tall or very tall.  Because, being a tall woman, and not a pretty tall woman, which really is probably very rare, kind of sucks, only not as much as being a short man.

  14. 74

    All the men lied about the height. All of them were 2 inches shorter than the profile. If the subject of height ever brought up after meeting in person, they still claimed they are taller than they are. I think thats natural because all of my male friends add 1 inch to their height even in non-dating situations.
    No one so far has lied about the age. At least I havent caught them out.
    The photos were at least 2-3 years older and perhaps edited almost always.
    I have never asked the weight because I dont want to bring up my weight either. (My weight sounds a lot heavier than I look). But everyone looked fatter than the picture, except the skinny ones who looked skinnier than the picture.

    Several men lied about marital status. If the profile said ‘Divorced’ , they are only separated. If they are divorced, they are ‘Never married’ in the profile.

  15. 75

    At least half the guys lie it seems to me.
    Because lying about height is so common I put up front in my profile Im 6 foot in heels. Despite that short guys claiming 6 feet show up and and then tell me Im so tall!!! Also I have in my profile I compete in 12-20 mile canoe races and guys who said they were athletic can show up looking the Pilsbury Doughboy
    My ex husband who is 58 is on match saying he is 45 and another guy I met who is 54 says he’s 45.
    Needless to say Ive gotten very good at qualifying in the first phone call
    Some lie about being divorced and single

  16. 76

    Hi Evan, I really enjoy your posts. Thanks for this question. I’ve recently started an online profile with two sites: one specifically for people in my religious group, and another in a singles site that targets those interested in the same specific hobbies/activities that I have.
    On the religious site, I really expected men to be honest and ethical about height, weight and age. I’ve so far found three out of four listing/posting at least one obvious “lie.” One lied and said he was 5’8″ (I am 5’5″ and I was taller than him with short heels/flats on), two others posted either photos that were 10 years old or retouched. On the site with singles of my particular hobby/activity group, I found that about 50% lied about at least one thing: their height, weight, or age.  
    I find all of this pretty shocking since anyone with half a brain would realize the need to start a relationship out with honesty; the truth is going to come out sometime.

  17. 77

    This age lie just happened to me.
    This man said his age was 41. Through our email exchanges, I had deduced enough information (his first name, and a description of his specialized local business) to run a Google search and a public records search.  Sure enough, he’s 46.  Too bad he felt the need to lie, because I was interested in him.  Now, I think, if he’s lying about that, what else will he be dishonest about?

  18. 78

    Pearl, it’s interesting how guys who are divorced will say “never married.”
    What those guys don’t realize is that a 45 year old man who is “never married” is considered negatively by many women; however, a divorced 45 year old man has at least proven that he has the capacity to commit to a woman and probably some semblance of social skills.
    Men never cease to confound me.

  19. 79

    I’m here to confess, I’ve started lying about my age and it does bother me, but I feel like I’m up against a wall.  If one existed, I would join a site that didn’t require you to display your age, just current pictures.  The pictures I post are current, they are of me, I don’t lie about anything else (though keeping up with all the changes one’s body makes isn’t easy, I don’t have a lot of friends who are snapping pictures all the time like some apparently do).  I am about to turn 40 and it feels like a death knell.  I like younger women (sorry, I just do), even women in their early thirties set cut-offs at 35, 39 and 40, that seems to be the trend.  I actually look younger than my age, everyone who’s ever commented on my age (whether they’re in their 20’s or 60’s) or found out how old I was, were surprised and thought I was younger, my parents both look ten years younger than they are…so I hate that this number hangs around my neck like an anchor, regardless of what I look like, regardless of how I behave, how energetic I am, the activities I enjoy, the person inside…in my experience, that number really does kill off a lot of potential for me in the dating world.  So, I figure, if I didn’t lie, I wouldn’t even have a chance to talk to most of these women, so I’d be alone anyway.  If I meet someone, they may be deeply offended that I lied and there will be a painful consequence, I fear that and I’m sorry for it.  But I do think there is the possibility of finding someone who likes me and who will get over it to one degree of difficulty or another and there is the possibility of a happily ever after that may not be possible otherwise.  I also know that I could meet someone who wouldn’t have cared about my age, but would care that I lied and I’d lose someone that way.  But I’ve been honest all this time and as I’ve gotten older I’ve seen the response ratio drop off, so I gave it my best shot, I’m really starting to feel the clock tick now.  Why am I still single?  Well I could write a book about that, part of it is that I’m picky too, but I know that it’s not fair to either person unless you’re totally happy with who you’re with and I hope the woman I finally meet, if ever, is as picky as I am, I don’t want to be someone’s compromise.

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