Why Do Women in Their 30s Not Want to Date Men in Their 40s?

I’m a 42 year old single male who recently left a 5 year relationship for various reasons, but mainly because I wanted kids and she did not. I thought that since I was an attractive, fit, well-educated, financially and emotionally secure guy that I would have no problem finding a woman in her mid 30s to settle down with and start a family. I have tried a combination of online dating, speed dating, professional singles events, volunteering, happy hours etc. and have had very few dates over the past year. I thought that online dating would be great since you are essentially pre-screening people for dates. I have found that I get no responses from any women online and the only women who respond to my ad are usually much older and don’t meet any of my criteria outlined in my profile.

I am told that women want to settle down and have kids, etc., but their actions seem to be to the contrary. At singles events, women come in groups and are reluctant to talk to men. In online situations, women say they want desperately to meet a nice guy like me, but never answer my response to their profile. I am trying to remain positive, but two things are really bothering me. One, that younger women are no longer interested in dating men who are even just slightly (3-5 years) older than them and sometimes want to date men 5-10 years younger then them. Two, women seem to be content in the fact that they are independent and self-sufficient and have a career, family and friends that fulfills them and don’t seem to be interested in truly finding a relationship. I find the latter hard to believe, but find this mantra in every profile of every professional woman online. Any advice on how to navigate these new paradigms in the dating world?

Adam

Dear Adam,

You came to the right place.

And to directly address your email, I have to divide my response into two different parts: 1) What You’re Getting Right and 2) What You’re Missing.

Let’s start with What You’re Missing. We’ll do What You’re Getting Right next week.

Why Do Women in Their 30s Not Want to Date Men in Their 40sWhat you’re missing is that what you want has absolutely no relation to what women want. We’ve addressed this before, from an older man who couldn’t possibly fathom why a younger woman wouldn’t want to be with him. This isn’t all that much different. We can complain that the opposite sex is unrealistic and passing up great opportunities – and we’d be right – but it doesn’t change that people want what they want. It’s not fair. It’s not right. It just IS.

From 25-34, men play around a lot. Why? Because they can. They have a lot of dating options, they’re building their careers, and there isn’t a clear urgency to settle down.

Once a guy crosses 35, however, he (theoretically) tends to get more serious.

What you’re missing is that what you want has absolutely no relation to what women want.

Alas, the women with whom he wants to get serious are 27-34. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family.

The problem is that many women from 27-34 are independent professionals just like their male peers. They, too, have a lot of dating options, are busy building their careers, and don’t have a clear urgency to settle down.

Then she hits 35. Theoretically, this is when she starts to get more serious. This is also when all the problems start.

Because 35-40-year-old men who are ready to settle down still want to have time before becoming dads. Thus, their target market remains women, 27-34 – who may not be ready to settle down quite yet. These women still have money to make, places to travel and oats to sow.

The 35-40-year-old women who ARE ready for marriage, unfortunately, are roundly ignored by the men they desire – their 35-40-year-old peers. These women are youthful and find themselves far more attracted to men in their 30’s than their 40’s.

…the bigger takeaway is that ALL of us are very judgmental on age.

Which brings us to you, Adam. You say you’re looking for a woman in her mid-30’s. That’s perfectly fair. But if none of them are looking for you, your wheelhouse is going to be women in their late 30’s to early 40’s:

Find the people who want you. It’s the same exact advice I give to women in their early 40’s who want men in their early 40’s…except men in their early 40’s want women in their 30’s.

And around and around we go.

I’m being a bit unfair, Adam, because there IS a market for a 42-year-old man – and you can certainly be doing better than you’re currently doing. Pick up a copy of www.findingtheoneonline.com and it should make a difference. Seriously. But the bigger takeaway is that ALL of us are very judgmental on age. To a 34 year old woman, 42 sounds OLD. To a 42-year-old man who wants his own biological children, anything above 36 is getting into risky territory. The lesson to all of you younger readers: take your love life seriously when you turn 30, instead of waiting until you’re 35 or 40.

40
31

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Comments:

  1. 601
    Julia

    @Joe younger woman here: I don’t really want a younger man, I will date a man a few years younger if he is emotionally mature but I tend to think men in their mid-late 30s are at their most attractive. As a 32 year old woman there is no short supply of the men I am physically interested in being interested in me. So no, not everyone wants younger.

  2. 602
    Nattyk

    The comments on this page are very insightful, informative and of good quality. Im tired of reading posts about these kinds of issues with bitter men and women with un objective viewpoints. Not saying that everyone is balanced, as Ive not read all the comments – but generally they makes me think about these issues in a balanced way. Good work in sparking intelligent-ish debate Evan!

  3. 603
    marymary

    Joe
    Yeah, I was actually looking for older, or at least within a few years younger. I want to be the young and pretty one.
    I did date someone who was ten years oder than me, and who actually looked older than that.  The vain part of me figured he would always be grateful to have a younger partner.   He dumped me for a woman his own age.
    I know it’s the exception, etc etc but that doesn’t help when you’re the one wondering what the eff is happening!

  4. 604
    Jaime

    I am 35 and he is 41.  My first serious adult relationship.  I couldnt be more excited and happy :)
    We both come with baggage, ex spouses, kids, but we fit together so well.
     
    It can be done, just keep looking :) 

  5. 605
    Star

    I’m 32 and don’t tend to like men my own age….never have. When I was 20 I liked men in their early 30’s. Now I’m 32 I prefer men 37 upwards.
    I would love to meet MORE men in their late 30’s and early 40’s who are not old boring fuddy-duddies before their time.
    Nothing more off putting than a man who is completely boring and never wants to do anything fun, except work, earn money, work, talk money, work, work, work,
     
     

  6. 606
    Preet

    I am late to the party on this article, but have found a consistent theme running throughout Evan’s blog about women basically being undesirable after the age of 35 and their biological clocks. Firstly, the science on the so called female biological clock is not as precise as a women’s fertility falling off a cliff at the age of 35. Plus, statistics in the western world demonstrate a growing decline in MALE fertility too. Additionally, Evan always seems to be harping on about women not being wanted or fertile after 35 and yet like the medical profession seems to ignore the fact that men have a biological clock too.
    I actually think Evan gives great advice in dating and understand that everything he says is trying to help people, but I felt I had to get this off my chest about this particular issue.
     

  7. 607
    alex

    I just wanted to say the person asking the question and the responder in my opinion are being a bit vague on this topic, if not missing something very important. Women are attracted to love. It doesnt matter what age you are if you know how this works. You can be any age and attract old and young women. Its all about love for women.

    For men its about punani and you will never attract the beautiful women you want unless you live a life in the language in love.

  8. 608
    Tiarra

    I agree with Alex. 34 years old and still single. I usually am attracted to people around my age or 2, 3 years younger.

    But met someone who is 50 this year who I ended up having a major thing for. It really surprised me, especially finding out the fact that he was single as well.

    Nothing happened between us. Don’t get to see him around anymore sadly. Did notice how friendly he was with me. He touched me at times, on the arm, lower back and shoulder when chatting. Every now and then he would compliment me as well. Got called gorgeous and beautiful from him which was a huge ego boost. :-).

    Learnt not to rule out older guys after that and hopefully will run into him one day again.

  9. 609
    rim

    No no no…
    I’m 32, single, who wants to settle down and I’m always looking for someone who is 5-10 years older (because I dated a few and found that people who are older than me works better in general…) So, maybe your experience is just incidental?

  10. 610
    sassba

    I am 38 years old and I will never date a 42 years old simply because the pool is way larger as a woman in her thirties from younger, more attractive guys. It is so sterotypical of the society to put things down to a relationship should be made of an older guy and a yunger woman, In the end it does not come down to your age really but how you look. I still get asked for ID when I buy wine at the supermarket or go clubbing. When I was 21, I wanted an education, and choose for my 1st lover a 46 years old guy. It was perfect, I enjoyed the experience and being pampered, nothing like an older guy to treat you like a lady. But I was not ready to settle then and moved on to greener pastures once I got bored. When I turned 30, I started dating younger guy, and at 34, I met a 28 years old guy who could keep up with me in bed, 4 years down the line I am married, got two sons, and the most loving husband I ever could hope for. I would say, dont restrict yourself to someone based on age, go find your soulmate instead.

  11. 611
    Paula

    I enjoyed reading your advice……and believe you are on key. I have a situation myself. Different though. I am a 48 yr single female. My kids are grown… I live alone…am able to support myself….and am healthy and take care of myself. I have been married twice…..and am not sure at this point if I will be again. I am looking for someone my age who can keep up with my unusual amount of energy I have in all aspects. Problem is men my age are let’s say lazy…they are only focused on what they want….and are usually loose with themselves…. focused on much younger woman as your article points out….and are in or beginning male menopause…. I haven’t reached that myself. I am at such a loss.

  12. 612
    M

    The interesting thing I find is that men in their 40s and beyond want attractive, fit, vibrant younger women, yet they themselves are not in good shape. Who wants to snuggle up to a beer gut? Not this girl.

    1. 612.1
      Jes

      But in the same stroke you wouldn’t look twice at a fit and attractive guy that didn’t have a nice car, fancy cloths etc… etc… in all probability. I have heard and seen it all before.

      1. 612.1.1
        SparklingEmerald

        Jes – It is called confirmation bias. You see that which enforces your worldview, and your view obvious is that all women are gold diggers.

        Take a look at the real world and notice all the married couples (or unmarried couples) Is every man talk, dark and handsome, driving a mercedes and dressed like the cover of GQ ? Is every woman a hot blonde with big boobs, perfect skin and teeth dressed for the runway ? I see lots of happy looking couples that range from plain janers to kinda cute but not drop dead gorgeous.

        Oh, and M, I have no problem with a little bit of a pot belly. Maybe that’s because I am in my late 50’s, so most men in my age category either have a pot belly, thinning hair, gray hair (which I love anyway) Also, I seem to be predominantly a “face” person. Not so much the raw physical composition of the face, but facial expressions. I look for signs of kindness, humor, and being into ME in that face. A six pack ab doesn’t say much about a person’s character. I do want a person who lives a fairly healthy lifestyle, but if someone eats reasonably healthy and is fairly active, they could still have a little bit of a pot belly. I have seen men with really ripped arms and legs, and they still have a bit of a gut. So obviously they aren’t lazy.
        Besides, the bit of a pot belly makes a nice soft pillow for watching TV !

  13. 613
    Dark

    @M who says me in their 40’s want younger women? and who says all younger woman are attractive? and who says all men in their 40’s are not attractive out of shape and have beer bellies?

    I find more younger women are usually not as attractive, and are on the chuncky side of the scale.
    Younger doesn’t always mean prettier, more energy,in shape, healthy, fertile, and it doesn’t mean every older guy want’s them. I have far more energy then any of the 20 year olds at my gym, and I have twice the strength and endurance and stamina then most of they people that go to my gym, I am not 40, but I am in my 30’s, oh yea, I look like I am in my 20’s.

    Have you noticed, the 20-20+ are going gray and going bald at a much faster rate and younger age now days, I have 2 white hairs in my head, and 4 on my chin, and even that is from the steroid my doctor is tapering me off of, while the new meds he gave me are starting to kick in.
    Oh yea, I like older woman, and I find they are more attractive than the 20 somethings and early 30 somethings. So don’t let your head get too big, you’ll be 40 very soon, after 18-20, the years fly bye and before you notice, you’re be on the other side of the fence.

  14. 614
    uigs

    I am divorced, no kids, and 38 and honestly most of the men I am being contacted by and dating are about my age or younger (about 34-40). I suppose that is my preferred age group so it works for me, though there are exceptions. Also, I would like to have kids and unfortunately, that does eliminate some men over 43 as fewer of them want kids. Also, I don’t know why but quite often men past 42 seem much older to me, unless they have a youthful personality. I accidentally went on a date with a guy who was 27, he thought I was 32ish, I thought he was 32ish as well. He didn’t care but I didn’t feel we were in the same place in life. Then I went on a date with a 43 never married man who I think bar hopped way too much and didn’t really have anything in common with. I don’t know how old the man I will fall in love with will be but regardless of age it is likely to work if we are compatible in lifestyle and relationship goals.

  15. 615
    Jes

    Online dating stinks. Women do lie about their age quite a lot and the ones that do not are almost always gold digging if they are above a 6 on a scale from 1-10. I am 37 now all and my time is winding down and it looks like I am not the only one that is tired of feemales deceits and games. Yeah Yeah… I have heard it all before “keep a good attitude” etc etc…That does not fit my personality though because I am very realistic and HONEST. I am good looking and athletic and adhere to a strict diet thus I am almost always told that I look at least several years younger than my age but to no avail. When I was in my 20’s most women were going for guys in their 30’s 40’s or beyond and now all the women that are decent looking and not prostituting in some way shape or form are “happily” married/taken. To be realistic , not everybody can get lucky in this world, we can only wish for better in the afterlife.

    1. 615.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Online dating is fine, Jes. 1/3 of all married couples meet on there. You’re just not very good at it. Nor are you as “realistic” as you think. If you were, you’d be falling in love online like millions of others. If you couldn’t get women in your 20s because you were too young, and you can’t get women in your 30’s because you’re too old, what does that tell you? Not that there’s anything wrong with women, but that you need to look in the mirror and figure out why women’s perception of you is so much lower than your perception of yourself. I’ll take a wild guess: your attitude sucks.

    2. 615.2
      SparklingEmerald

      Women can lie IRL and online. Newsflash, men lie too, both online and off. Men and women are both capable of games and deceipts. All the bad stuff that can happen online and happen in the real world to. It’s not like there is one set of people who live in the real world, and one set of people who live in cyberspace.
      You said “all the women that are decent looking and not prostituting in some way shape or form are “happily” married/taken. ” Who did they marry ? Other women ? No they married MEN. So many men have found good women to marry, probably by being good men themselves.

      My own heart is like the energizer bunny, it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’. Been divorced TWICE, had my heart broken in between, but I’m getting right back on that horse. Yes, I’ve run into my own share of players and liars along the way, when I do it’s time to move on.

      If I end up dying alone, oh well, if I don’t get out there and try, I will definitely die alone, so at least I will give it my best shot, and have fun along the way.

      You can blame it all on women and say they are all games players and liars, but look at all the people who get married year after year. Some of them must be happy.

  16. 616
    Jes

    Well from a females perspective I am not rich, or even what would be dubbed “gainfully employed”. This is why females outlook on me is low(Occam’s Razor). So that indeed makes your statement false. Guessing and logic are not really your things EMK. If my attitude truly “sucked”, I would be a vigilante by now and in all probability shot dead by some coward. Under the circumstances I have an extraordinary so called “attitude”.

  17. 617
    Evan Marc Katz

    Wrong again, my friend. You can be rich, but merely the fact that you blamed your bachelorhood on female “deceits and games” tells me everything I need to know about you. It’s never your fault. It’s women. Stuck-up bitches. All of ‘em. They don’t appreciate a great guy like you. But why would any woman want to go out with a man who thinks that women are liars and gold-diggers?

  18. 618
    sarah

    I think adams problem is that hes kind of sexist. He has a true double standard here. He is upset that a woman 7 years younger doesnt want him, but is then shocked that their age range might include younger men. Im 33 and am constantly contacted by men in their 40s whose age ranges are kind of insulting but want me to date them. If you have waited too long to have kids, you might have to be open to other options for having kids (like adoption) just like a woman would. I certainly dont want a potential partner to a) have problems with the fact that i will age, and b) view me as a uterus carrier. Some men also want to hang on to the myth that men dont age. You do, sorry.

  19. 619
    EV

    I’m a 34 year old woman. Do I find 42 year old men attractive? Some of them, sure. For other reasons, though, I still prefer a man in his 30’s. I want someone in the same stage of life, from the same generation. I’ve dated older men before and found they tended to be domineering and disrespectful. I’ve just found relationships are better when the age difference is small.

  20. 620
    Jayline b

    Well I am a 29 year old woman dating a 42 year old
    Man. I have to say that this is the most rewardin
    Relationship I have been in. He is older more mature and very handsome! He has one of the best personalities I have ever seen an is more active than a man in his 30’s. There are some catches to this however. I am on the opposite board of this conversation I am 29 and ready to settle have my family and really work on doing things together as a coupleTo make everything perfect. But the catch is that although there are men in there 40’s lookin to settle, There are also men in there 40’s that have grown accustom to there way of living. I was have been a single parent of 2 boys and he a single 42 year old man that has had no full intention of really settling down … Or at least sometimes it seems that way and When that becomes a topic up in the air it can be an oppertunity to allow us to grow together throug the differences or a lession ether way it’s worth the insite. On the other hand he has all the top characterisics I have always searched for in a man. I have the amazing privilege to have found them in my handsome charming man. It is safe to also say that women tend to want an experienced man that has been through his share of ups and downs at the least a woman that is not in it for the game of things!

  21. 621
    tracy

    This age and child bearing thing for women really is a myth that hurts women. I am 40 yrs old and the doctor said I have the average fertility as a 21yr old! They even put me in a study because they thought I was soooo unusual. People my grandmother had her last child at 47yrs old. Date the 40 yr old women they can have kids too.

  22. 622
    D.shawcroft

    I have just turned 33 and just starting to think about the marriage, serious, side of dating. I tend to get on better with women that are at least 5 years younger than me. Men mature later than women anyway don’t they, so it is no surprise the 42 + men go for women fairly younger, most men are not mature enough to start settling until at least late 30s. Look at the celebs – Brad, settled (2nd time) 40s, and as for Clooney ….?!!

  23. 623
    Clemsak

    It can work – Jay -Z 44, Beyonce32. I think if you are 42, a 27 year old is 15 years younger, which is ALOT younger. I think 34 – 40 is perfectly realistic.,

  24. 624
    Josh

    I say if your 42 and want a much younger woman in their 30’s or even 20’s go for a international woman I’ve seen girls in their 20’s go for men in their 50’s or 60’s they just want a better life and some I would assume actually love the man so hey try dating women from other countries.

  25. 625
    CaliforniaGirl

    I know a couple where the guy was 43 and he brought himself a bride from Russia and she was 22. Now 10 years later, she is still a young women but he feels old and has some health problems and wants to sit home and watch TV and sex is not a priority anymore. They look like father and daughter and it looks creepy when he kisses her in public. I think she is going to divorce him and take half of the money and have fun while he will stay with half of his wealth and probably alone for some time.

  26. 626
    Anne

    Don’t necessarily assume that us early 40-something women can’t have kids still…I myself had my eggs frozen at 35 and had an excellent result. Certainly that’s no guarantee, but it does make it still possible for me…
    I’m an attractive, smart early 40-something woman…probably waited too long to start seriously focusing on the whole dating and marriage thing, so, alas, I find myself still single. And, like other women have said, I find myself getting viewed and contacted by  50+ men – which I’m not yet interested in…
    So, I’m just hoping that I can find an attractive, intelligent, fun and motivated man who’s somewhat close to my age and is open to marriage and kids with someone my age.
    Because I have my eggs.
    And I’m worth it.

  27. 627
    Rose

    I think it’s great to have a man older than you if he is mature, responsible, and trustworthy.  My husband is older than me and I enjoy that because it makes me feel young and beautiful.

  28. 628
    30male

    So not only is looking for ‘just sex’ objectifying women, but so is the practice of seeking a woman of child bearing age for raising a healthy child.
    Based on many posts earlier on gave off a sense that if a man has difficulty in finding a woman interested in him, he deserves contempt for it. 
    Men unable to find a western woman interested in them should naturally be encouraged to seek one overseas, if it is of benefit to both parties. I personally would rather my children resembled both their parents and wouldn’t develop confusion about their identity if I could help it. I’d also prefer my life partner to be fluent in English – but if you’re happy not to be able to have amazing conversations with her, go for it. People who have to make these decisions shouldn’t be derided for it. 
    What I’ve found is that women in the west look for ‘clicking’, ‘spark’ and ‘chemistry’ before they will date someone. I’m not even sure I know what these things are, but what if you don’t find it with anyone by the time your essence begins to lose its quality?
    I am 30 and had a lot of trouble getting a career off the ground and being financially independent, and am a bit of a loner. Apart from one brief casual thing, I have never found a relationship (or even anything else that was just casual). I’m not bad looking or unfit, I am university educated and can hold a conversation. I am a bit quiet on a first date, however. Because I don’t have a large circle of friends I don’t have anyone to introduce me to anyone, so I have used online dating to find women to meet. It’s typically over after one meeting, and the vast majority of the time it’s the woman doing the rejecting.
    I probably can’t blame being unemployed, as there are other unemployed men my age who are in relationships (there’d have to be, with so many millions of people in the world). I take it that my introversion might be a stumbling block, which is a shame. Perhaps western women naturally gravitate toward extroverts, while foreign women are still attracted to the strong silent type, and don’t interpret it as weakness (this is just conjecture and probably true for many Asian women, unsure about other foreign cultures).
    I now realise it would be lunacy not to at least try to have a family in my 30s, preferably on the younger side of 35, so my essence can give my offspring the best chance both I and they can get (besides, as a man in my 30s I am more likely to find a 30s woman interested than if I were in my 40s, going by this blog). My grandmother is nearly 96 and in a nursing home. Her mind works but she can’t walk or do much of anything. Without her family, the main social contact she’d have would be nurses. Would you really want to be committed to a chair all day, all your friends dead, spouse incapacitated, deaf, mad or dead,  can’t drive, walk or cook, year after year after year, with no children or grandchildren, no christmas get-togethers, no birthdays, no legacy? I might be a loner but even that doesn’t sound like the sort of life I’d want. Who would look after your finances, and moving from your old home to the nursing home? Ideally, family whom you trust with your life, why settle for less? 
    So having had very few options in my 20s I must make use of my 30s to get career and family off the ground, barely ever having had a relationship. Perhaps a change of strategy is necessary at this point (I don’t know about this ‘clicking’ business).
    I don’t hate women, I’m just puzzled by them, and saddened that they don’t want to be next to me as I do with them. I also don’t like how not only women but the author of this site feel the need to treat men with contempt simply for not being able to get women interested (for no fault of their own).

  29. 629
    Cindy

    Is it just me or is this question just repugnant and offensive?  To the reader:  Thankfully we are living in the year 2014 in which women do not need a man to provide for her and her offspring.  Women date and marry men because they want to, not because they have to. 
    I appreciate the fact that men today still feel pressure from society to be providers.  Now I’m going to take a leap into what I suppose the reader is thinking.  Some men feel they can’t settle down until they are older and can be providers (this really isn’t true for multiple reasons but I’m guessing or at least hoping this is what the reader is thinking).  This guy, now in his 40s, who feels ready to provide, now wants a woman that can more easily have children, therefore he wants a younger woman.   The problem with this is, now that women do not depend on men financially, they are looking for someone that is close to their age with whom they feel compatible.  Women today no longer need to be purchased and some of us just aren’t for sale. 
    Of course, this need of men to find women younger than them is not just about finding  a woman who can still bear children is it?  Because clearly this behavior of men only pursuing women that are younger than them continues well past the age of bearing children. 
    Dude, get a life, date women your own age!  I know this might be shocking but you might even like them. 

  30. 630
    John

    There’s a lot of truth in the age preception problem and what people are saying about over 40s men being stuck in their ways is very true. However, I believe that natually men go for younger woman and there’s a biological reason. Its how we are wired, sorry ladies.
    You can get what you want, although it replies on a few things.
    1) You look younger than your age.
    2) You have something in common with the other person (hobby etc.)

    3) Don’t always tell the other person your age immediately, keep then guessing.

    My girlfriend is 32 and I am nearly 44. We met 6 years ago, and at first I was the one who thought the age difference was a problem. It took me a few weeks to adjust to the age difference, but deep down my brain was saying everything was ticking all the right boxes. The people who made negative comments were women my age (jeaous basically). Male friends were envious but possitive. By the way she is very hot, great job (better than mine), intelligent, wants kids.

    Just before we met I was having my hair cut by a very hot hairdresser who started flirting with me. She was 25 (I was 38), but I didn’t tell her my age. She guessed I was 30….this shows the age she was looking for in a man. She gave me her card and said she did mobile hair cuts….it was a big come-on. We swapped flirty text for a few days, and just about set up a date, but I made the mistake of telling her my age in a text. I should have kept her guessing. Women fall in love very quickly, only takes a week and they are hooked. If we had hit it off and dated a few times before I dropped the bomb-shell, she would probably have decided the age thing didn’t matter. I know guys 10 years younger than me who look older, pretty sure in a singles bar situation I would pull before they did.

    Stick with it mate, but be a bit crafty to get what you want. Women are very crafty….

    1. 630.1
      All Heart

      John – Biology applies to all of us. Older women aren’ the best reproductive mates but then again, either are older men. After 30, men’s sperm begins to break down in health and quality. 
      However, the world largely focuses on women’s biological health and rarely do we talk about older men’s biological responsibilities. Hopefully this is shifting because there should be more medical awareness about how men’s aging bodies also affect their reproduction. After all, it’s not other women, the women you feel the need to apologize to who suffer for that. It’s that man’s own children who may be victim of his late reproductive choices. 
      I think it’s fine you are dating someone 32, when your 44. But I think you should be more sensitive to the fact that women do feel hurt when men their own age, their contemporaries, feel that they have less worth than younger women. I think any human being can understand why that kind of sucks.  Sometimes it seems that men believe they are more worthwhile than women when they exclusively go for younger women. 
      And please don’t be “crafty” with women. All of us want to be treated like human beings and want to be respected. We don’t want to be manipulated into relationships so that people feel like they can “hook” us and then drop the bomb about the truth of things. Whether it’s your age, or other things. I think this applies for men and women. No one wants to be under the old “bait and switch”.
      Please be hoenst and respectful to the women you date. And respect the fact that there will be younger women who will not want to date 44 year old men. And that’s okay too. They should be given respect about their own choices without being manipulated into them. 

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