Sometimes I say to my fiance, “I don’t know why you love me.” I do know why he loves me, it’s just that I can’t believe he really does. I don’t by any means think I’m the most gorgeous woman on the planet, but my fiance for some reason does. The difference is that he acts upon it in a much different way than his predecessors. Pretty girls often need to be treated in a more gentle way. Telling us we’re hot and you want to sleep with us won’t cut it.

on, “drop all her requirements.” hhhmmmhh, relationships, won’t operate on precision. I said, “all” but in a general sense. Say, are you a military/correctional officer?…….or maybe in the legal field?……..how funny!…..

“I didn’t mean just grab a man from the “pile.”
can easily be construed as a reasonable conclusion drawn from the assertion
“Most women could marry this instant, if they dropped all their requirements.”

The thing about communication is that, if you want to be perceived as effective at it, you have to be willing to take some responsibility for
- what you said (the literal words, the tone of voice, and the connotations) AS WELL AS
- what the other person heard.

And if you don’t give a hang about what the other person hears you say (because I can hear you now – “I can’t be responsible if some woman reads things into what I said!”) — then you’ll understand if she thinks you don’t give a hang about communicating with her effectively.

If you didn’t mean “drop ALL her requirements”, then don’t say that.

And if that IS what you meant, then I’ll ask you again — do you honestly think it’s an equitable relationship if you want a woman to have everything to offer you (and be willing to do so) but you want to offer her nothing??

Moving on:
………… Single, very productive men, do exist, although, maybe, in a smaller pool, and mostly, clueless.”

How is this relevant to women “dropping all their requirements”? What does cluelessness have to do with anything?

I have a question for Heather and the other attractive women who have voiced opinions on this subject:

What would you think if a man was clearly interested in you, but he did not compliment your appearance?

When I begin dating a woman, I tend to compliment her on other traits (intelligence, humor, skill as a dancer, ability to live in the present, etc.), but I tend not to compliment her on her appearance until I’ve known her for a while. The more attractive she is, the longer it will be before I compliment her appearance. (This isn’t something I consciously plan, but it’s a habit of mine that I’ve observed.)

So if you’re interested in a man, and he’s clearly interested in you, would it bother you if he offers fewer compliments on your looks than the average man? Or would you be happier knowing that he clearly appreciates qualities other than just your looks?

Ha!,…..how funny!….”unproductive blob”….I didn’t mean just grab a man from the “pile.”………… Single, very productive men, do exist, although, maybe, in a smaller pool, and mostly, clueless.

Hunter, really — what an attractive proposal for the woman.

“I, Attractive Woman, take thee, Unattractive, Unproductive Blob with No Intelligence, Feeling for Family, or Charm …”

Ugh.

I know that’s what a lot of you seem to want; it’s one of the reasons why Apatow’s and Braff’s movies are so popular, it’s all wish fulfillment.

But really …

Ugh.

Do any of you men see how inequitable that is? You want a woman to have everything to offer you, but you want to offer her nothing? Do you really think that’s the way things are supposed to be? Do you care at all??