Hey, if compromising means being with a man who is slightly out of my age range, good-looking, not Ivy-League-educated, and a great human being….and I feel 7/10 chemistry….please, please, please, send him my way!!!!!   I guess some of us have varying views of “compromising.”    LOL

NN, I am with you all the way!

Do you consider those two statements to be synonymous? I don’t, which may explain my confusion regarding your first post.

If you don’t consider those statements to be synonymous, then I’m confused as to how you’re making that statement “again” in (#37), because I don’t see where you made it the first time in (#1).

If you feel zero sexual attraction towards someone, then I agree with you, there’s no point in dating them. There’s no amount of mindset that will create something from nothing.

However, you should re-read my post. I was talking about excitement, not sexual attraction, which I (and every dictionary) view as somewhat different terms. If I had been discussing sexual attraction, I wouldn’t have used an example with your parents, since I consider a sexual attraction towards one’s parents to be fairly disgusting.

You’re not sexually attracted to “most men” who want to date you. What percentage of them are you attracted to?

Besides, I think I am being somewhat misunderstood here: Evan is trying to persuade us to “settle” for a 7 on the chemistry scale – hey, I’d be deliriously happy to find that! I never did hold out for a 10! By far with most men I am capable of finding intellectually interesting, though, the physical chemistry ranges between somewhere on the negative scale and maybe 3-4
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And Karl in no 8
Feeling excited is a choice. It’s a decision (conscious or not) about how we perceive events.
Based on what you say you could have a sexual relationship with man.
Read my post again – I said. Without sex I could take a woman as  flatmate/ friend to live with me.
 
I am saying it again: I never felt any sexual attraction towards most men, who wanted to date me. You tell me to try to have a relationship with them anyway -
I have done it – based on wrong advice like you say.
“You never know”
Never again, I know myself. That would be leading them on, and I still would be sexually frustrated as I NEVER HAVE GOT AN ORGASM WITH A MAN LIKE THAT. Sex has been basicly boring.. and I have been faking it by thinking that “I don’t want to disappoint him”. Men hate to hear that, but that is the truth.
I am not willing to do it again.
And you are irresponsible when you say that “it is all mental” -
if that is so, then for you, it is all the same who  (man or women) you have relationship with, the only thing that seems to be important is to HAVE someone – no matter who.
 

I re-read what I posted and don’t see where I said that it wasn’t.  I’m pretty much saying what Evan says.

First of all I don’t walk on eggshells around anyone. That would be a clear indication that person wasn’t for me. As I stated in #27, compatibility of personalities IS part of what I consider chemistry.

Second, yes I could tell you which previous partners of mine I think are/were better looking than others – now. But it was irrelevant when I was in each relationship.

That’s the point: when I’m happy in a relationship I don’t compare. I don’t compare looks and I don’t think about whether there is more or less chemistry than there was with some other guy. Obviously any other guy is out of the picture and I’m enjoying the one I’m with now. That’s why this idea of “seeking out” someone you have a level 7 chemistry with instead of holding out for a level 10 is so odd to me. Chemistry is either there, or it isn’t. No levels when you are happy being with someone.

JuJu, maybe you have it right   I have never experienced personal god-like chemistry with some guy (there is such a thing? really?). I’ve only experienced the kind where there are flaws that I can live with. I still think we’d all be better off scrapping these scales altogether.