For all you women who ever wanted a man to love you with all his heart, feminism has fucked you over. They (feminists) have changed the mating/social system to one where men do not love, they only use.

I believe that most of a relationship should be spent heavily investing in an emotional and spiritual connection, a strong bond based on shared experiences, comfort etc. A man who values these things WILL show it in his commitment.

Much as I think this article indicates the selfishness apparent in a lot of young men, women are also to blame for approaching a relationship as if sex is the only thing they have to offer. If you place a strong emphasis on friendship, communication, emotional connection, it quickly becomes apparent which guys are there for what reason, but I think women have to be the ones to bring those things to the forefront of the relationship.

And there are others who enjoy casual sex and are non the worse for it. They also have happy and fulfilled lives and they can also choose at any time to stop doing so as the former can choose to try it.

I think the important thing is for people to be honest with themselves and potential partners about what they want and how they prefer to live.
Now we know people lie to get what they want. If that was less the case, then people could match up with others more suitable.

That is why I agree somewhat with Lance #28.  Once sex becomes totally free it will become a non issue.  And if they legalized prostitution EVERYWHERE and put it under legal auspices similar to hospitals and clinics, then I think tose who wanted strings free sex could go there and enjoy it and leave the committment minded people to find each other with less of the deceit and confusion that goes on at present.

Evan wrote a blog on this very topic. He said it was OK, with two buts: 1) While you are out flinging you have less time to work on a real relationship, and 2) . He points out some attachment is likely to happen for the same reasons I said. I went from there off into supposition land that you might do some harm to yourself in the process of ignoring that attachment. I could be wrong.

Evan closes with ” if you have an itch and you need to scratch it, go ahead. But if you keep scratching that itch over and over, eventually, it’s going to start to hurt. Take care of your libido, Melanie, but don’t lose sight of your emotions in the process.” Evan could be wrong too, but we both agree that each person is different and has to answer that question for themselves. I bet he would agree it is a mistake to simply ignore the question.

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/can-you-have-meaningless-sex-while-you%E2%80%99re-looking-for-a-long-term-relationship/2/

When you engage in casual sex for a long time with many partners, you are training yourself to suppress or ignore the emotional aspects of the chemical process of bonding that sex and intimate touch engenders (Ref 1). If you are someone who won’t bond anyway, it doesn’t matter (Ref 2).

If you are part of the other 99% of the population, you have trained yourself to ignore that bonding or maybe not feel it at all. It will take time to recover the ability to bond more closely through sex. Reprogramming  will take more or less time depending on the individual (no reference, just common sense). Of course, your would-be life partner might not stick around long enough for you to recover that ability and de facto become yet another casual sex partner. . .

Ref 1 http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/love-science.html
Ref 2 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy#Epidemiology
 

Have you been reading my mind?

Having casual sex does not indicate a person’s level of emotional or mental health in all cases – some but that’s for the DSM IV so I won’t get into that.  Casual sex is what it is.  Not special.  It’s just a way to use up time.  Maybe you like the person maybe you could care less other than the sex.  If that works for ya, great.  IMHO, it’s tossed around like a cheap piece of lawn furniture these days.