The College Try – Garfunkel and Oates

What can I say? These two hyperliterate women make me laugh. Plus, they’re truth tellers. I like truth tellers.

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Comments:

  1. 31
    henriette

    Most people who enjoy the video have been civil in the their comments.  But I’m interested that a significant minority have chosen to insult ~ in a personal, rude manner ~ the women who’ve stated that they don’t enjoy it or who have expressed some discomfort with certain elements. 
    “This just goes to show you you have no sense of humor and/or take yourself and/or sex TOO SERIOUSLY.”
    “What very uptight women visit this site!”
    “Bit over the top with your dramatic conclusion…”

  2. 32
    Goldie

    I dunno, I chuckled. Pretty sure straight men (and gay women) do not have the same reaction, so to me the song had nothing to do with self-loathing or any of that stuff. A penis does not exactly look and smell like the lily of the valley, either, but with the help of my hormones, I am able to, um, enjoy my interactions with it.

  3. 33
    Rebecca

    I thought it was hilarious, and for me, kinda accurate (though my response wasn’t quite so visceral, I did come to the same conclusion these ladies did). LOL

  4. 34
    Locutus

    I find that hypersensitive women, i.e. Henriette, love to throw around words when it suits them. Somebody can make an statement to one extremity that agrees with her opinion and it’s just fine. Then someone who is against that opinion is suddenly rude or insulting or hostile in their eyes. Henriette, grow a backbone. I find Karen’s extreme comments about being ‘sad’ over the video totally ridiculous and insulting. If she wants to blow something way out of proportion, well then be prepared to hear extreme comments back. You obviously have chosen your side and I will stand my ground. Secondly, why are you sticking your nose into comments that were not even directed at you? Are you trying to police the site or something? Evan is the moderator and if he feels a comment does not belong then it is up to him solely to disallow it. Nothing worse than people who can dish things out, but not take anything back.

    Next time stick to discussing the topic and not policing others comments that were not directed at you or else mind your own business.

  5. 35
    Jennifer

    Locutus, I’m on your ‘side’ on this issue but telling someone to ‘mind their own business’ on a public website/message board where anyone is free to comment on the article or comments following the article just doesn’t make much sense.
    Signed,
    CommentPolice

  6. 36
    marymary

    Locutus
    the irony of your comment is slaying me.

  7. 37
    henriette

    “Locutus, the irony of your comment is slaying me.”  + 1

  8. 38
    Locutus

    Jennifer,
    No problem if she wants to butt into the conversation, but if so then she better not complain about the comments.  You don’t have it both ways.
    Support one extreme view and then cry foul when someone makes comments that are directly opposite.  I see people like Lia and Rebecca thought Karen’s comments were silly too.  “Over the top” as Lia put it is 100% correct and not an overstatement.  If Henriette feels that a comment like that is insulting then she is clueless.

  9. 39
    Ruby

    “Locutus, the irony of your comment is slaying me.”  + 2
     
    “…if you’re that insecure with your own bodies then don’t blame a funny video.  That is your issue.”
     
    Hey, I’m not the one who described the vagina as “a half-eaten beef and cheddar in the garbage can at Arby’s”, or said,” I can’t believe I have one of those, eeew.” But if you find it a laugh riot, good for you.

  10. 40
    Karen

    We all want women to feel at ease with their bodies, their vaginas, their sexuality, and their capacity to orgasm.  
    As women who are fortunate to feel such ease, it’s easy to forget that HUGE numbers of women are not so fortunate.  Lots of women don’t feel ease in at least one of those aspect, let alone more than one.
    Those of us that enjoy our sexuality and orgasms can easily forget that a large percentage of sexually active women have never had an orgasm and will never in their lifetime.  Of course being sexual and intimate is not all about the orgasm.  Having multiple women friends reluctantly confess their lack of pleasure or ability to orgasm has made it that truth much more real for me.    
    Two beautiful women 38 and 42, with husbands who wanted and tried to please them beyond but couldn’t. The women couldn’t really enjoy themselves alone either.   Their sex lives were strained as the women did not feel at ease sexually.  What came forward in conversation was their mixed feeling about their bodies and their especially their vaginas.  Once they were able to come to acceptance and embrace all of themselves, their sex lives changed dramatically.  Non-orgasmic women became multi-orgasmic sex hungry and happy women.  They were grateful to finally connect to their sexuality with full freedom and all the benefits.  They felt released from the silent shame and all the judgement about their bodies and their inability to orgasm as well.
    My 77 year old mother shared recently that she’d had fewer orgasms in her life than fingers on one hand.  That means I have had more orgasms in one night than she’s had in her whole life.  It’s not an orgasm contest, please don’t misunderstand me.  It’s sad.  How many women or men can even imagine a life with no orgasms or less than five?  Seriously. I digress but for a reason.
    In my experience, the greater ease I feel with my vagina (and my body, my sexuality, and my being) and sharing it up close in all it’s glory, with myself or another, directly correlates (for me) with the ease with which I orgasm and enjoy myself and my partner and the experience.
    I suspect that to be true for other women as well.  It was also true for my women friends and fortunately once the connection was made, a whole new world opened for them.
    The sadness I felt seeing the video was for the younger and mature women who do not feel at ease with their bodies, their sexuality, their capacity to orgasm.
    The numbers of women and girls who feel physically insecure or inadequate with clothes on is tremendous.  Ask women to get naked and that number only goes up. Invite women to spread their legs and reveal their vaginas and the number of girls and women truly at ease with how they look, feel and taste I imagine is lower than low.  Do I find that sad.  I do.  That’s me.
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Can you see the beauty in 100 different women of all shapes and sizes?  I hope so.  Does our society?  Not generally.  Someday I hope it does.
    Do 100 different women have 100 different looking pussies in all their glory.  They do.  Can one appreciate the beauty in their 100 different shaped and colored pussies?  I hope so.  Does our society?  Not yet.  Someday I hope it does.
    Do I wish all women to feel at ease in their bodies, as to enjoy themselves and their sexuality with the greatest possible liberation.  I do.
    I believe HUGE numbers of young girls are growing up insecure about how their bodies compare to the everyday highly sexualized images they see in the media.  Porn is the predominant sex education for young people these days creating all new (and often false) expectations as well.
    My response was much more than to Evan’s choice to repost the video on his blog.  I wish I would have clarified that.  His audience is more specific.  
    Beyond that, inside myself, I was caught up feeling for all the impressionable young women NOT yet comfortable with the look, feel, smell or taste of their vaginas or sexuality, that will see the video on you tube directly or somewhere else and will feel less comfortable with their bodies and their sexuality as result.  That I found sad.
    In seeing the video:
    A woman not comfortable with her vagina may or may not laugh on the surface, but I imagined she would feel numbness or pain below as her fears are confirmed.
    A woman comfortable with her vagina may laugh on the surface, in recognition of insecurities she perhaps once felt when she was less secure.
    A woman comfortable with her vagina may also find the video a sad and an unnecessary creation.  For her the price of a momentary laugh for some is just not worth the possibility or cost of accidentally or inadvertently leading younger girls and other women to continue to feel a lack of acceptance and lack of ease with their vaginas and thus to me, their ability to enjoy themselves and their sexuality as fully as possible.
    I would hate for some already insecure young woman to watch the video and as a result be swayed by the strong ugly imagery (no matter how in jest) and vagina disgust (no matter how lighthearted), that it tipped her away from a life of enjoying her body, her vagina and her capacity to orgasm.  That I imagined and felt as sad.
    Oversensitive.  I am a woman.  That does happen.  That’s how I experienced it in the moment.
    No matter what, I’d just rather see more vagina loving women at ease with their bodies and fully enjoying their sexuality, and able to orgasm.  That’s me.

  11. 41
    Locutus

    Hey Karen,
    Go live in a sheltered world then.  Are women so weak that they need to be insulated from jokes or anything that might dare be hurtful towards them even if meant as a joke?  Should the world stop working because insecure people can’t handle it???  Good Lord.
    To all those posting about irony.  There is no irony.  Cite me whatever example you are referring to and I will clear it up for you.

  12. 42
    Karl R

    Karen said: (#40)
    “I would hate for some already insecure young woman to watch the video and as a result be swayed by the strong ugly imagery (no matter how in jest) and vagina disgust (no matter how lighthearted), that it tipped her away from a life of enjoying her body, her vagina and her capacity to orgasm.”
     
    Your ability to blow this out of proportion is truly amazing.
     
    I’ve never been under the impression that my scrotum is a visually attractive part of my body. My legs, buttocks and abs get compliments. The scrotum, never.
     
    Somehow, I’ve been able to accept that my scrotum (just like every other man’s) is acceptable to women … unless the women want to forgo sex with men completely. I’m comfortable being seen naked. I’m comfortable having my legs spread. I’m comfortable having my scrotum played with (provided the handling isn’t too rough).
     
    Having made the transformation from someone who was uncomfortable with my looks into someone who is completely at ease with my looks and body, the essential transformation comes from within. It didn’t require people telling me that I was beautiful in every possible way. (If it had required that, I’d still be uncomfortable with my looks.)
     
    On the contrary, I’m able to be comfortable with my looks even though I catch a fair amount of unflattering teasing (usually about the glare off my skin when I take off my shirt).
     
    Karen said: (#40)
    “No matter what, I’d just rather see more vagina loving women at ease with their bodies and fully enjoying their sexuality, and able to orgasm.”
     
    Teach them that masturbating to orgasm is normal and healthy.
     
    I don’t have to think my scrotum is gorgeous in order to be comfortable with it. If I truly internalize being at ease with myself, I can be comfortable with the fact that it looks like a purplish, wrinkly, hairy little bag.
     
    Karen said: (#40)
    “I was caught up feeling for all the impressionable young women NOT yet comfortable with the look, feel, smell or taste of their vaginas or sexuality,”
     
    TASTE ??
     
    Most heterosexual men are sufficiently comfortable with their sexuality and able to orgasm regularly -without- ever tasting their own sperm (or anyone else’s).
     
    If women are equal to men (which I fully believe), then it should be equally possible for you to be comfortable with your own damn bodies.
     
    Even the wrinkly parts.

  13. 43
    Karen

    “It’s a messy visible secreting organ
    Real woman genitals are kinda gross
    I thought it’d be smooth and non-threatening
    Or nonexistent like Barbie’s
    Instead it looks like a half eaten Beef and Cheddar
    In the garbage can at Arby’s
    It’s wrinkly and flappy and uneven and messy
    And kind of pink but also kind of brown
    With a super aggressive tongue-like hole
    And a hoody triangle protruding skin mound
    It’s like a weather beaten deflated football
    Or a decomposing, bloody pear
    Or a toothless mouth with gum rot and yeast
    That’s salivating and covered in hair
    I knew it smelled weird but this is extreme
    Like old French dressing at a salad bar
    Or expired banana Activia
    Or a dead, rotting turtle you left in your car
    It reminds me of the smell of my grandma’s house
    Or a guinea pig with bacterial disease
    Wafting from a jar of formaldahyde”
     
    I contend if this same routine was done by two men on you tube instead of two attractive women, other women would not dismiss the lyrics so easily and be so quick to defend it as funny.  I don’t think it’s the sex of the presenters that make it “funny” or not.  It just allows them to get away with degrading women’s bodies in a way that men wouldn’t likely attempt in public.
    I can appreciate the humor in it.  I get it.  i really do.  in my heart, I just feel the price of the laugh isn’t worth the potential insecurity it may perpetuate.
     
     

  14. 44
    Karen

    Karl #40
    When a person goes down a woman, for most, if not all women, there can be a moment of vulnerability and concern that the taste of her vagina is somewhere between enjoyable and tolerable enough for the person pleasing her.  So yes, I believe this too is a common insecurity girls and women overcome in learning to enjoy themselves. 
    i believe their perception directly relates to their ability to relax and enjoy the pleasure being given vs avoiding the act or not being able to truly enjoy it.

  15. 45
    Locutus

    Karl R,
    Blown out of proportion.  Incredibly correct!

  16. 46
    Karl R

    Karen said: (#43)
    “I can appreciate the humor in it.  I get it.  i really do.  in my heart, I just feel the price of the laugh isn’t worth the potential insecurity it may perpetuate.”
     
    Following your line of reasoning, Jeff Foxworthy should stop telling jokes, because his redneck jokes could perpetuate potential insecurity in lower-class southerners.
     
    Following the same line of reasoning, Gabriel Iglesias, John Pinette and Bruce Bruce shouldn’t tell jokes about their own weight, because they might perpetuate potential insecurity among fat guys.
     
    Oh my God! Christopher Titus should avoid making jokes about his dysfunctional family, because those jokes could perpetuate insecurity among people who grew up in messy family situations.
     
    And we should stop watching Mel Brooks entire body of work, because it might perpetuate potential insecurity among Jews. Evan, I’m so sorry if I’ve been thoughtlessly enjoying myself watching material which could damage your fragile little ego.
     
    Almost every comedian makes fun of white guys. How on earth has my delicate mind managed to withstand the assault ?!?
     
    Karen,
    You believe that women need to be protected from “potential insecurity” caused by humor. I believe that women are tough enough to shrug off the same kind of jokes which are told about white guys all the time.
     
    I think your attitude is far more damaging to women than mine. It perpetuates the ignorant belief that women need to be sheltered, protected and coddled “for their own good.” My attitude perpetuates the idea that women are strong and equal to men.
     
    Karen said: (#43)
    “I can appreciate the humor in it.  I get it.”
     
    No. You can’t appreciate it. And you don’t get it.
     

  17. 47
    Karmic Equation

    @Karen

    I fail to see how you can link this video to non-orgasmic women. You are really stretching it. Pun intended.

    If women aren’t comfortable with their bodies *within themselves* nothing outside of them will ever be able to make them feel comfortable. Therefore, nothing outside of themselves should be able to make them uncomfortable either. As Karl R wrote “the essential transformation comes from within.” If this is not the case, the women have MUCH bigger problems than how their vaginas look, feel, or taste. That is actually the LEAST of their problems.

    You are really over-dramatizing this and making a mountain out of a mole-hill. It’s wonderful how you love your vagina and are multi-orgasmic. I really feel hurt that you have this capability because while I only get along with my vagina, I’m not even singularly-orgasmic during sex, nevermind multi-orgasmic…so I should I feel inadequate because you have this ability and I do not? How inadequate you have just made me feel. It’s shameful what that you were so insensitive as to point out my inadequacies like that.

    Obviously, the above is tongue-in-cheek. I don’t feel in the least inadequate. Most women aren’t orgasmic during intercourse. So count yourself lucky. But that doesn’t mean I count myself as unlucky or inadequate. If I did feel inadequate, then the problem isn’t in what you communicated but rather what I felt about myself before any communication ever took place. It has nothing to do with you. Non-orgasmic women or insecure women will continue to feel that way even if this video never existed.
     
     

  18. 48
    Goldie

    @Karen,
     
    “I contend if this same routine was done by two men on you tube instead of two attractive women, other women would not dismiss the lyrics so easily and be so quick to defend it as funny.”
     
    I disagree. If this kind of routine, as in “I tried same-sex oral because I thought it was cool, then realized at the last moment I couldn’t do it” was done by two men, it’d be infinitely more offensive and boundary-stretching.
     
    This same routine done by two straight men wouldn’t make any sense.
     
    This video isn’t about what you think it’s about.

  19. 49
    K

    Another thing to note is that these women aren’t talking about how they feel about their OWN vagina.  I look at mine, touch it, cleanse it and groom it.  It’s not my favorite body part in the looks department, but I’m fine with it.  I do not want to do any of the above activities with another women’s vagina.  I don’t think they are portraying self-hate.

  20. 50
    Karen

    I simply felt sad in response to the video.
    I felt surprised Evan chose to repost it on his site.  I felt moved to share my experience.
    I did not post to oppose someone else’s experience.  I was simply sharing my own.  There is a difference.
    I am all for freedom of speech.  Freedom of experience.  There is no right or wrong here.  There is no fight.  There are just different ways of experiencing the world. 
    Laugh, enjoy the video…so what.  Have your experience. There is no need to be disturbed and reply with criticism because I shared that I didn’t enjoy it the same way some of you did.
    I felt sad and concerned about women who may be inhibited because of how they might experience the video.  So what.  It is just my experience.  I never intended to suggest my experience needed to be someone else’s experience.  If I came across that way, my sincerest apologies.
    Truly, to each their own.  Variety is the spice of life.

  21. 51
    Locutus

    It is not your personal view of the video that is so shocking Karen.  It is your belief that so many women are fragile and insecure and need to be sheltered from even jokes and comedy.  That is what is appalling!  I don’t feel the majority of women are fragile nor need to be sheltered or would be bothered by this video.  How can you cast such a dismal view of women?  It is inaccurate and not representative of most.  It is when people want to cast their wild beliefs on others that causes an uproar.

  22. 52
    Jennifer

    Karen#50
    While I don’t share your views or experience regarding this video or vaginas in general, I respect the manner in which you’ve defended your point of view.

  23. 53
    Ruby

    Locutus #51
     
    Hyperbole much? What’s the irony here? Simply that you are so harsh with people who don’t agree with you, and your language is even harsher than the opinions you claim to disagree with. How would you know what is “inaccurate” or “not representative of most”? Several women commented that they were not pleased with the video for various reasons. You don’t have to agree with us, but don’t turn around and insult us, or judge us. If you are “so shocked” and “appalled” that not everyone agrees with you, maybe that is your issue.

  24. 54
    henriette

    @Goldie – “If this kind of routine, as in “I tried same-sex oral because I thought it was cool, then realized at the last moment I couldn’t do it” was done by two men, it’d be infinitely more offensive and boundary-stretching.”  Just curious as to why?  Not ribbing you: genuinely curious. 

  25. 55
    Lia

    @ Karen #43
     
    Thanks for taking the time to write out the lyrics!!!  Now all those poor women you wrote about and felt so “sad” for, all those women who have been traumatized watching the video can now clearly see any of the lyrics they might have missed.  Well done!! They will now be suicidal.  :)

  26. 56
    Cat5

    Karl R said: (#46)
    Karen said: (#43)
        “I can appreciate the humor in it. I get it.”

        No. You can’t appreciate it. And you don’t get it.
     
    Respectfully Karl R., you can do both, i.e., appreciate the humor and get it, while not being happy with the content and the message it sends.
     
    Here is an example, using a comment I read on another site today:
     
       “Women always complain that it’s stupid how men can sleep with multiple women and be considered a Stud.

       I say to women it’s called the lock scenario. They say “What?”

      Then the clincher —- “If a key opens lots of locks, it’s a Master Key. But, if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it’s a shitty lock.”
    I snorted/laughed out loud when I read it.  But, after I laughed, I thought…”Yikes.  That is really clever and really f’ed up, and sad that there are still people that think that statement is true.”
     
    See I appreciated and I got it (snorted/laughed out loud and acknowledged it’s cleverness), although I am not happy with it’s content and message.  :-)

  27. 57
    Locutus

    Ruby,
    It’s not agreeing with me.  It is agreeing with most women.  Do you think women should be sheltered like Karen suggests?  If you don’t then you agree with me and not Karen.  It’s funny how someone can come in and cast extreme views and you don’t say squat to it, but then you jump all over me.  Your bias is showing Ruby.  Is it because you are gentle with women and love to criticize men?  Seems that way to me.  And after reading many of your comments in many topics, it appears you argue and disagree with Evan maybe 75% of the time.  Maybe you ought to listen more often because you don’t know much about men at all.  It totally baffles me why you are not chastizing Karen for portraying women as being weak.  I am a man and it bothers me because most women I know would think she is a quack for saying that and they would be insulted by her comments too.  Why?  Because most women I know are smart, confident and strong.  And yeah women I know aren’t afraid to use strong words when it’s necessary.  They are not all cuddly and gentle and citing people as hostile when someone uses a strong word.  If a guy came in and portrayed his strange beliefs on all men I would blast him with both barrels.  Did you see how Lia and Karmic and Karl R think Karen is absolutely ridiculous?  These are the types of women I am used to (sans Karl R, sorry Karl LOL). They speak right up and are not afraid to use strong words when called for.  They seem to see things with an unbiased point-of-view.  Learn from them.

  28. 58
    Eleanor

    @Locutus, Karl R, Karmic
    Nowhere did Karen say the video should be censored or women should  be sheltered from it.  The closest she came was that she would hate it if an insecure woman was negatively affected and that thought makes Karen sad. You presume that means she believes the video is”wrong” or should be censored.  She only said it made her sad and explained why.
    Locutus, this is the second time you have read between the lines and inserted your interpretation as what the writer really meant. Others attribute your interpretations as literal from the writer. They run with the mistake making for circular pointless discussions. 
     
    .

  29. 59
    Locutus

    Eleanor,
    Perhaps you have a habit of saying what you don’t mean.  What you said in the other discussion was interpreted the same way by others not just me.  My posts in this discussion are clear.  It seems Karl R has no trouble seeing the exact same thing of Karen as I did.  So does Karmic.  Why don’t you go ask Karl if his comments are pointless. 
    Eleanor you seem to have only come in here to instigate an argument with me because your statement was totally wrong in the other discussion and you can’t admit it.  Funny how you immediately singled me out and insulted me saying I start pointless discussions.  Your wrong here again just like you were wrong there.  You’re clueless.  People claim I am harsh, but you just walk right in here and hurl a major insult to me wrapped in softly written words.  No different from being harsh.  You’re a real winner Eleanor let me tell ya.  Go back and reread Karen’s comments.  Nobody talked about censoring the video.  Mistating words again??  You have a habit for doing that.  Funny how these people all thought Karen’s comments were ridiculous- #22, #24, #28, #29, #30, #33, #35, #42, #46, #47, #49, #55

  30. 60
    Ruby

    Locutus #57
     
    I’m glad you’ve taken the trouble to read so many of my comments. Maybe you ought to go back and re-read them, so that you can interpret them properly. In this thread, I’m not referring just to Karen, but to the other women here who were not fans of the video, and there are several. The more that I read your posts, the more I see that they make little sense, and that you simply enjoy antagonizing others, so it’s hard to take what you write seriously.

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