When Should You Start Worrying About Having Kids?

When Should You Start Worrying About Having Kids?

In general, I have two types of clients: women in their late 30′s who want to settle down and have kids, and women in their 40′s and 50′s who are divorced, jaded, frustrated, and confused about how to navigate the ever-changing dating space.

Surprisingly, a lot of women have never bothered to get the facts about their own fertility.

Both are near and dear to my heart, but I do hold special affection for helping women who thought that their dream of biological children was never to pass. Somewhat surprisingly, a lot of women have never bothered to get the facts about their own fertility, and largely work under the mindset that if she’s in great shape, her ovaries should be, too. Many women even factor this into their life plans. “Make partner by 40, then start dating, get married, and have kids.” They’re often shocked to find out that they waited just a little too long to pull it off.

A new article from The Atlantic sheds some light on the real statistical odds of getting pregnant, which is both hopeful and sobering:

“The data, imperfect as they are, suggest two conclusions. No. 1: fertility declines with age. No. 2, and much more relevant: the vast majority of women in their late 30s will be able to get pregnant on their own. The bottom line for women, in my view, is: plan to have your last child by the time you turn 40. Beyond that, you’re rolling the dice, though they may still come up in your favor.”

The actual numbers are surprisingly encouraging.

“With sex at least twice a week, 82 percent of 35-to-39-year-old women conceive within a year, compared with 86 percent of 27-to-34-year-olds. (The fertility of women in their late 20s and early 30s was almost identical—news in and of itself.)

Another study, released this March in Fertility and Sterility and led by Kenneth Rothman of Boston University, followed 2,820 Danish women as they tried to get pregnant. Among women having sex during their fertile times, 78 percent of 35-to-40-year-olds got pregnant within a year, compared with 84 percent of 20-to-34-year-olds.

A study headed by Anne Steiner, an associate professor at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, the results of which were presented in June, found that among 38- and 39-year-olds who had been pregnant before, 80 percent of white women of normal weight got pregnant naturally within six months (although that percentage was lower among other races and among the overweight). “In our data, we’re not seeing huge drops until age 40,” she told me.

My wife and I got married right before she turned 39 and immediately started trying for kids. In one and a half years of trying, we had two chemical pregnancies, two miscarriages and one fibroid surgery. But at least we were fertile. We ended up having a girl and a boy naturally, without any fertility treatments. The girl was born when my wife was 41. The boy was born when she was nearly 43. We are really lucky.

This is not a normal recipe for success. Do as I say. Not as I did. Concludes the Atlantic article: “Fertility is relatively stable until the late 30s, with the inflection point somewhere around 38 or 39.”

If you are younger than 35 and reading this, please, don’t wait.

To sum up neatly, because this is a dating/relationship blog, if you want your own biological children, you are still in pretty good shape until your late 30′s. But if you want to start getting pregnant at 38 or 39, that means you have to be married. And if you want to be married, you have to start taking your love life seriously at a younger age. That means your early 30′s, not your mid 30′s. When you date in earnest in your early 30′s, it gives you time to date, make mistakes, learn, and fall in love by 35, so that you can marry at 36 and start trying for kids at 37.

Sadly, I almost never get clients who are younger than 35. If you are younger than 35 and reading this, please, don’t wait.

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/coaching/

Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated below.

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Lynn

    What’s wrong with adoption? Why do so many people turn their noses up at adopting a child?

    (EMK – Who is turning up their noses at adoption? This is about women who want to have their own biological kids. For MOST people, adoption is Plan B, not Plan A. Nothing personal.)

  2. 2
    Diana

    Im 34, no kids. I was divorced at 32 after 11 years. I’ve dated and have had no problem FINDING men but so far the relationships I’ve had (2 months and 8 months) just were not it. I’m learning! 
    I don’t want to feel as if I’m on an agenda but I realize I’m getting there in age. I refuse to stress about it but I will be very conscientiousness about my dating life.
     
     

  3. 3
    Andie

    This is so true. My mom raised me to wait to have kids until after college, career, and marriage occurred. She said with advances in technology that I could have children up until my late 30s.  I was married at 28 and my ex-husband and I waited so we could enjoy life. Before I turned 35 we talked about having kids, but he was never truly onboard. Seems the some day he was thinking he could wait for finally arrived an then he didn’t want it.  Although, for my happiness, he would have moments where he would say lets try to get pregnant.
    Due to an extramarital affair on his part and him wanting to be with her, we divorced when I was almost 39.
    I’m now 42, nearly 43. I’m finding there are few select men in their 40s and 50s who do want children, but the chances of me having a natural pregnancy are probably slim. Not only due to my fertility, but their’s as well.  Then there are the group of men who have children from a previous relationship and don’t want other children, but are okay if their partner has children.  Then there are the group of men who are a certain age who don’t want kids or want kids SOMEDAY.  Calculate dating, engagement, and setting up household time…I don’t have that time.

    Since dating has been slim, I’ve have had to decide to become a single mom via adoption.  Not my fairytale dream I envisioned in myself when I was 18 to 22 going to college. I really have a dream of at least one child. I can’t afford is sperm donor & invetro or surrogate & sperm donor, so I’m choosing to adopt through the foster system.  Even now, I’m wondering if I should just give up that dream and hope I meet a man who has children where I at least be a great step-mom.  Yet, I’ve always had the dream of my own child since I was playing with dolls as a toddler.

    Don’t wait ladies.  It’s a lot of heart ache heaped onto being single and find your clock is ticking or has expired.

  4. 4
    Andie

    @ Lynn – It’s expensive to private adopt with cost near $30,000 to over $50,000 and no options for loans. With open adoption you can get near the birth of the child to have the mom back out and you are still out of pocket money until the next birth mom chooses you.  The birth moms prefer couples rather than single women.  Which leaves international adoption which is just really long. International prefers couples. There are single parent programs, but the wait list is long because those programs only allot a few people at a time in comparison to their couples adoption program.  Sometimes the program then closes due to Haague rules and then you have to start over as well.  Most people want babies and well, honestly, single parents are usually only given options of older children or handicapped.  I’ve done a lot of research as well as have friends who mourn our lost opportunities for a baby.

    Foster parenting can be tough too from an emotional standpoint. The goal of foster program is to reunite the child with the parent. Foster to adopt is emotionally tough because you may have to give that back to the parent.

  5. 5
    Julia

    This is clearly why I became a client of yours at 31. I am able to make my mistakes now. I really would like my first child at 35 so I have 3.5 years. I guess we’ll see….

  6. 6
    Jenna

    Is it really such a great idea to be such old parents? My parents were married 8 years before having me at 35 and 40. Now I’m saddled with a 70 year old dad when most people my age get a 60 year old dad. I have less years to be with my beloved father and he probably won’t get to see his grand kids graduate. A 29yo male friend proudly told me he’s going to be like jayz and have kids in his 40s, to which I rolledu eyes. It’s one thing to have a child late bc you haven’t found the right person but its another to intentionally put it off and not think about the consequences to children. children nowadays will get less of their lives with their parents, caring for old parents while caring for their infants. 

  7. 7
    marymary

    Jenna
    It’s always difficult and painful to deal with ageing parents however old you are. one could argue that it’s no easier when you’re old yourself.
    My father is 86 and in great shape. My mother is ten years younger and not. 
    friend of mine had children in her teens and  so have her children.She could be a great grandmother in her fifties, with a horde of youngsters around her. Sure, many might say she did the dumb thing but maybe she gets the last laugh!
    you just don’t know how things will turn out but I don’t consider 35 to be old at all to be a parent, and 40 is hardly out there.

  8. 8
    Joe

    Jenna, you probably also had much more stable parents than your contemporaries whose parents were in their early twenties when they were born.

  9. 9
    Peter 61

    My estranged wife was 41 years old when our son was born.  She was 38 with our daughter and we had a stillborn son in the middle.  Conception always occurred within a few months of trying.  We did undertake various preconception practices (lots of chocolate, mineral and vitamin supplements and plenty of exercise) after our stillborn son.  Both surviving children have been physically healthy.  Varying opinions about the origins of their mental health problems are the cause of the rift between us.  A older woman can be too grateful for the gift of a child.  And as MaryMary says, a difficult child plus ageing parents can be a struggle.

  10. 10
    Karl R

    Jenna said: (#6)
    “My parents were married 8 years before having me at 35 and 40.”
    “I have less years to be with my beloved father.”
     
    My parents live in the Midwest. Two children live on the Pacific coast, one on the Atlantic coast, and one on the Gulf coast. I suspect your father has already spent more time with you (since you left the house) than my parents have spent with all four of their children (since we left ours).
     
    Seriously, age is hardly the deciding factor in how much time parents spend with their adult children. (And I’m not even going to get into the estranged relationships in our immediate and extended family.)
     
    Jenna said: (#6)
    he probably won’t get to see his grand kids graduate.”
     
    My parents already had two grandchildren graduate. Thanks to a messy divorce, nobody on our side of the family (including my brother, the children’s biological father) attended the graduation.
     
    All of my grandparents died while I was in elementary school. One of them might have lived long enough to see one or two of her grandsons graduate. I’m not sure.
     
    Jenna said: (#6)
    “children nowadays will get less of their lives with their parents.”
     
    My parents were 35 in 1970 when they had their youngest. The average life expectancy was 70.8 years.
     
    My sister and her husband were 44 in 2010 when they adopted their youngest. The average life expectancy was 78.7 years.
     
    That’s one year difference.
     
    Jenna said: (#6)
    “caring for old parents while caring for their infants.”
     
    My parents are 78. They live over 1,000 miles away from any of their kids. None of us are worrying about having to care for them. Not even my sister with the toddler.
     
    My parents lived less than an hour’s drive from my grandparents, but they still didn’t have to spend much time caring for old parents. Three of my grandparents were quite independent up until the day they died (one heart attack, two homicides). The fourth couldn’t care for herself for the last six months (lung cancer), but she spent that time in the hospital or hospice. Visiting consumed a fair bit of time, but it was only for six month.
     
    You’re worrying about things you can’t control.
     
    We no longer live in a society where children live in the same town they grew up in and take care of their aging parents. The more educated and affluent the children are, the less likely it is to occur. Why should people make family planning based on a outdated view of society?

  11. 11
    WhatsGoingOn

    I see Jenna’s point somewhat – while I don’t see mid 30′s to 40′s that terrible, back in the day of online dating I routinely ran into men in their late 40′s early 50′s wanting to have children (I was early 30′s) and saying men really don’t have a biological clock.  That really annoyed me because they do, just not in the same way.  Besides lower sperm count, risk of autism and other chromosomal issues, men who are fathers in their 50′s will have a harder time keeping up with their kids in their 60′s. what about playing catch, basketball and soccer and all that?  And the kids don’t get as long with their parents.  They have a 70 year old dad in college!

  12. 12
    Selena

    Marymary: “It’s always difficult and painful to deal with ageing parents however old you are. one could argue that it’s no easier when you’re old yourself.”
     
    I’ve been thinking about this recently. I have a friend (70) who is very concerned about her mother. Her mother is 97 and lives with her sister who is 94.  Her mother doesn’t want to live with her and my friend doesn’t want to go live with her, but has considered it. She cries and prays nightly and dreads it when her phone rings.
     
    My parents are in their early 70′s and are doing okay mostly, but they’ve had health problems for the last 10 years. I’m prepared for the day when I have to care for them, but I wonder how well I will be able to do that when I myself start having health issues. I’m 21,22 yrs. younger than they are. How well will this work if one or both live into their 90′s and I’m in my 70′s?
     
    And my son is 22 yrs. younger than me. If I live into my 90′s, will he be in good enough shape to help me?
     
    There are advantages and disadvantages of having children at any age. Can’t say which is better over the course of a lifetime.

  13. 13
    Duri

    This is extremely tangential to this article, but I suspect you have MANY clients under 35, EMK. Perhaps many of us can’t afford your private coaching, but we (or at least I and at least one other friend of mine) have bought your books and read your blog religiously, not to mention assiduously applying your advice to our love life. I may never be a private client because I started reading you at or before I was 24 and am now, at 28, engaged to my boyfriend of over 2 years (my other friend is also recently engaged)… but I still want to be acknowledged as part of your client base. I desperately needed the advice, just not in its most expensive and intensive form. Thanks for everything!

    1. 13.1
      Jenn

      Me, too. Unfortunately, he’s too expensive for me to have as a private coach and all that other stuff, but I did buy the Finding the One Online set and I do read the blog quite frequently. I’m only 32 years old, but I woke up one day after I turned 30 and said to myself, I do not want to be like my poor aunt, who lives alone, never married and has no kids. It scared me into changing things, because after 30 I realized that if I didn’t get my butt in gear, it might never happen for me. I have never experienced love and I badly want to. Just to know what it feels like to be able to step into someone’s arms and know that they love and accept me, and find me irresistible. I have been waiting for that ever since I hit puberty. I like Evan’s style because he doesn’t pander to women. He tells it to you straight and gives you the male perspective. The only thing I’m still skeptical of is the whole “emailing men first” thing. I really don’t think it works that well, but I’m willing to try.

  14. 14
    Sparkling Emerald

    Lynn 1 What’s wrong with adoption? Why do so many people turn their noses up at adopting a child?
    Adoptions is expensive, goes in cycles, and sometimes healthy new borns are in short supply.  I greatly admire those who are willing to provide a good home to an older child with medical problems, but I don’t blame people for not wanting to go that route.  And many adoption agencies “turn up their noses” at couples who would make great parents, because they are “religiously incorrect”, or some other arbitrary standard.

  15. 15
    Amydk

    Freeze your eggs! Just freeze em if you’re younger than 40!

  16. 16
    Kiki

    I had my daughter the year I turned 30 and my son at 34. Looking back, I think this was ideal, also in terms of child spacing.  
    At the time I got pregnant with my daughter however (immediately after stopping birth control) I was feeling scared and unprepared – I thought we will be trying for at least a few months and I could enjoy some more childless freedom. But my husband was pressing for children from the day he proposed, so this was the longest I could postpone.
    When my daughter was born the doctors found she has a cleft palate, which is a minor birth defect, incidence 1/2000. We never has an explanation why she had it  – the old age of the mother is certainly one of the factors for birth defects. My doctor at the time explained to me that by nature’s standars (disregarding society) 30 is already advanced age for the mother…
    Anyhow, I have been thinking whether to have a third child – I am 40 and my window of opportunity will close soon.  My husband is all for it (as always) but I am concernced first because having had a child with a birth defect, and now getting pregnant at an older age seems quite risky.  
    Similarly to Evan, I woud say – if you wish to have your own biological children do not delay due to career, housing or whatever non-health related reasons you may have. Several of my friends who had their first children at around my age then had one or more miscarriages tryin for a second one.  Several girls who postopend bith until 35 or after 40 had to go through in-vitro. In most cases it works, but not right now – only after at least 3-4 procedures which are expensive, stressful, and from what I have seen – experienced like major loss by the parents every time the procedure failed.

  17. 17
    Kate

    What an intersting and important article! I wish I had read this 20 years ago when I was in my mid 20′s. I was always the one who thinks as long as you have PMS, and healthy, you can get pregnant without problem. Since I knew women’s PMS can last until late 40 eveshould even when I was 40 I didn’t think I would have problem with getting pregnant if I were married. What a mistake. I learned this a few years ago when one of my new single friend got married at the age of 42. Obviously she knew more than me and she visited so many doctors even before she was married. Shocked me!! 
    very good article, 

  18. 18
    Erin

    Omg too funny… I feel like this post was created just for me! I’m 35, and I pretty much fit the exact profile of the women that Evan described. 
    I was married at 26, and went through divorce hell in my early 30. I have some reproductive challenges, and I’m only dating men that want to have a family within the next few years – either naturally, assisted or adopted. 
    After a few failed relationships post divorce (I wasn’t ready, we weren’t sexually compatible, a few other issues) I’m putting Evan’s advice to work. I’m ready for an amazing and fulfilling relationship. Evan’s advice has been working for me really well since I committed myself to it. 
    Anyway, I’ve gotten off topic here. I just had to laugh because this post was soooo my life! 
     
     

  19. 19
    Michelle

    I am not exactly sure what the point of this blog is…. Yes, women have a very real timetable in their ability to have biological children.. and yes marriage and love make the best situations to bring a child into… and delaying marriage and baby making could very well be detrimental to that life long dream….
    Here I go sounding like Eeyore again, but life isn’t a Disney fairytale where everything works out perfectly, much as I wish it did (I seriously think Cinderella is a relative of mine) Saying keep calm and have a child before 40, maybe wishful thinking…..

  20. 20
    sarahrahrah!

    EMK, thank you for the heartfelt wisdom here.  As a woman in her early 40s, I couldn’t agree more with your conclusions.   Folks, this is the reason why I recommend this blog and Evan’s services to other women who are serious about looking for a partner.  Even though he runs a business and is trying to sell his services, he is diligent about telling the truth as he sees it and I greatly respect that, I would add:  stay focused your dating life if you want to have children.  If a man isn’t serious about having kids or has a history of non-commitment (in various forms, such as partying, etc), take that into consideration.  Create timelines for yourself so you don’t waste your precious fertile years on a relationship that will not result in a committed partnership and child/ren.  Envision your future children and selfishly protect the time that you are allotted to bear them. Also, adoption is not always easy and, where I live, more expensive than getting donor sperm.  I’m 100% for adoption, but people should be aware that by taking on single parenting, you are bringing 50% fewer resources into a child’s life than if a couple were to adopt a child.  Adoption is always experienced as a loss at some level (as in the loss of the original parents), so you should be prepared to help your child process that loss and not take it personally.

  21. 21
    josavant

    Evan, you asked our thoughts, so here are mine. First, I don’t understand why everyone is in such a rage to have their own biological children, or any children for that matter. Children cost a hell of a lot to raise and tend to make people unhappier (see all the economic studies showing how people’s happiness decreases when they have children). A big part of what drives people to think they want children is conformity to society’s expectations. If you take that away, you might find that a lot fewer people really want children than say they want them.
     
    Second, nowadays it’s a lot less necessary to be married to have children. Many more women are having children out of wedlock, so I am not convinced of the urgency of securing relationships and marriage early in their lives. Man are really turned off by women who are too desperate or who clearly want to have children and just see the men as sperm donors and potential daddies. I guess I am not sure that this is the right advice to be giving, though I do agree with your basic statistics about ages of fertility and infertility.

  22. 22
    Sparkling Emerald

    josavant 21  First, I don’t understand why everyone is in such a rage to have their own biological children, or any children for that matter.
     
    The BIOLOGICAL urge to have children is perfectly natural, and needs no defense.  None of us would be here if not for the biological urge.   I don’t expect those who wish to remain child-free to defend their choice (as it was my choice up until my late 20′s), but those who don’t want children shouldn’t demand an explanation from those of us who want to do what we were biologically designed to do.  You almost might as well demand an explanation for why we like to eat.  Society didn’t give that parental urge to us, nature did.  Society just REFLECTS back what most people desire naturally, due to our biological make up.

  23. 23
    The InBetweener

    I have a 48 year old female friend that has no children and when I asked her why not her response was that in all the relationships that she’s been in, she felt that none of the men were husband or father material. She has this thing where even though she has always wanted at least one child, (she says because she has a big family) she feels that if she can’t have kids with the right guy, she’d rather not have any.  I concur.  Better to have no children at all, than to have any with the wrong person.
    Sometimes people covet something so much, they are willing to forgo discernment and common sense to have it. 

  24. 24
    marymary

    It’s a funny  world where grown up adults  feel they have to justify wanting children. 

  25. 25
    kim

    I met my husband at age 32, married at age 33 and had my daughter at age 37. Once we decided to try, it took one month to get pregnant. (It was so easy it was scary. So glad I had used strict birth control all of my life!)
    Genetics must play a role. My mother had me at age 39, becoming pregnant in month 2 of marriage.
    As to the issue of older parents, my daughter was placed in an accelerated program for highly capable kids in our school district. 90% of those kids had older parents, most very well educated and doing some kind of research at the U (my husband included). 
    My own experience in school was very different. I felt like an oddball with parents so OLD and my mother went out of her way to hide her age. No one suspected she was 15 years older than the other moms. She had so much energy she always ran circles around me. She is 96 now and still lives alone in her own house and drives, does her own shopping, banking, etc. And has an excellent relationship with her 19 year old granddaughter.

  26. 26
    josavant

    #22: calm down. No one demanded an explanation or a defense from you or anyone else.
     
    #23: your friend sounds reasonable. Of course, another option is that she could have had her own child biologically without a partner, if she was so worried about winding up with the wrong man. Being a single parent is difficult, but it would have been another option that would have freed her from the constraint of an inappropriate partner.

  27. 27
    Sparkling Emerald

    Josevant #22: calm down. No one demanded an explanation or a defense from you or anyone else.
     
    I stand corrected, you didn’t demand an explanation, you just insulted those who choose parenthood by implying that women who want children are needy, raging, & desperate and see men as nothing more than sperm donors, and are just mindlessly going along with what society demands of us.  The only men who are “turned off ” by a woman’s natural desire to have children is a man who doesn’t have a natural desire to be a father.  Men who DO want children are turned off by women who are so adamantly against it. Or women who desire motherhood, but lack the kindness and patience for it.  So there is a pot for every lid.    And since as you have aptly pointed out, children cost a helluva lot, that’s why most women don’t want to do it alone.  Not only does it make more economical sense to raise children in a 2 parent home, but with the right person, it is more satisfying.  Not only does your partner provide additional financial resources, they also share the labor and the joys of parenthood. 
    This is a blog for women who want to fall in love, get married, and have children.  (As well as some older women, like me,  who have been there done that, and just want another LTR )  If the idea that many women desire motherhood is so bloody awful to you, why are you on this blog ?

  28. 28
    josavant

    #27 wrote: “This is a blog for women who want to fall in love, get married, and have children.”
     
    Huh-uh, I don’t think so. Right up there on the top of the page is Evan’s statement that he is a personal trainer for women who want to fall in love. Doesn’t say anything about the blog being for people who want to marry or have children. Not everyone here wants these things.
     
    “The only men who are “turned off ” by a woman’s natural desire to have children is a man who doesn’t have a natural desire to be a father.” Nope again. Plenty of men who would be happy to be fathers still are wary when women treat them as potential husbands and daddies on first dates. Desperation is not attractive.
     
    That’s why I’m not on board with the title “when should you start WORRYING about having kids”, because worrying doesn’t do anyone good. Thinking about having kids – planning and considering options – that’s okay. Worrying about having kids is something men can pick up on in women. Even if they want kids themselves, they’d rather have a partner who didn’t only consider them for parenting potential. Best to be cool, or play it cool if you can’t be cool.

  29. 29
    Sparkling Emerald

    Josevant@ 28 . . .
    From the beginning of the article . . .
    “In general, I have two types of clients: women in their late 30′s who want to settle down and have kids, and women in their 40′s and 50′s who are divorced, jaded, frustrated, and confused about how to navigate the ever-changing dating space.”
     I acknowledged the 2 types of women that EMK mostly caters too.  You cut my quote in half to make it look like I said HE ONLY catered to women who want marriage and motherhood, but I didn’t.
    I don’t judge your choice to be child-free, but you obviously have a boat load of judgement for women who are “raging” to have children.  
    When I first started dating (around 16), I was adamantly against motherhood for myself EVER ! My honest feeling then,  was that I NEVER wanted kids. (wasn’t even sure if I wanted marriage)    I never judged anyone else for wanting children, I was actually quite supportive of my friends who had them.  My not wanting children  actually cost me at least one relationship,(which was probably a good thing)  & was probably the reason for some relationships that never got off the ground.   Eventually, my stance softened (I believe due to a brief first marriage where I was a step mother) and I became open to the idea of motherhood.  Again, as I began to warm to the idea of motherhood, I didn’t judge those who did not want children. (that would be rather silly, since I was one of those women for a long time)  I believe MOST people want children eventually, and that it is a very natural, in born biological desire, and not something that society has twisted their arms over. It makes no sense to me to treat this NATURAL DESIRE, as some sort of anomoly.   However, I do not judge those who do not have this desire. I wish they would return the favor.
    I have experienced IRL child-free women who say mean and spiteful things to women who are mothers.  Women who feel compelled to scream “I HATE children” when we mothers are talking about ours. Or tell us that mothers are so “boring” because their kids “are all they talk about”.  One woman with whom I was in community theater with,  had a fit, when another actress and I  were sharing “mommy stories” with each other.  We weren’t even talking to that b****, and she started screaming at us to talk about something else, because she NEVER wanted to have children, and she is so sick of society telling her she SHOULD have wanted children, and she couldn’t stand hearing women who talk about their children,  yada, yada, yada.  Methinks the woman doth protest to much.
    I am a little baffled by women who come to this blog and act like it’s some big discovery that many women want marriage and/or motherhood.  It’s not exactly brand new information.
     

  30. 30
    Julia

    @Josavant #28
     
    Plenty of men who would be happy to be fathers still are wary when women treat them as potential husbands and daddies on first dates. Desperation is not attractive.


    Now this, this, is exactly why you are being offensive. Believe it or not, there is tons of nuance in life and believe or not, those of us who are still single and childless in our 30 who want marriage and children don’t all act like men are sperm donors. So stop insinuating that this is how we act.

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