Comments on: Should I Date a 7 or Hold Out for a 10? http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:55:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Still-Looking http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-256627 Still-Looking Tue, 07 Feb 2012 01:46:51 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-256627 NonExist @95 You are guilty of stereotyping, but I agree!  Hot looks coupled with a previously pampered lifestyle is an automatic turn-off to me.    NonExist @95
You are guilty of stereotyping, but I agree!  Hot looks coupled with a previously pampered lifestyle is an automatic turn-off to me.   

]]> By: NonExist http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-256611 NonExist Tue, 07 Feb 2012 01:02:03 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-256611 Only issue I had with women 9-10's i dated were that they were used to being put on a pedestal by men. And since I did not do it there were all kinds of issues about why I did not bow to them like they were royalty.  And then the usual she does not know why she is with me because she could do better mantra. All I said was if that is the case then goodbye. Because I do not need the headache.  Granted other men referred to these women as 9-10's because my perspective is limited to whether or not I like how she looks even though I do understand comparative physical attractiveness. I say just find someone who you are attracted to and who has other qualities you can accept and be happy with and take it from there. Only issue I had with women 9-10′s i dated were that they were used to being put on a pedestal by men.
And since I did not do it there were all kinds of issues about why I did not bow to them like they were royalty.  And then the usual she does not know why she is with me because she could do better mantra.
All I said was if that is the case then goodbye. Because I do not need the headache.  Granted other men referred to these women as 9-10′s because my perspective is limited to whether or not I like how she looks even though I do understand comparative physical attractiveness.
I say just find someone who you are attracted to and who has other qualities you can accept and be happy with and take it from there.

]]> By: Miss Reality http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-197544 Miss Reality Sat, 05 Nov 2011 16:08:52 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-197544 Before I had my child at the age of 20 (I am now 26) I was definitely smokin' hot.  From the neck up I was a 10 and could compete with any supermodel.  My body, though good, was perhaps a 7 (legs not super long, not enough curves in the right places).  My then-husband was probably a 6-7 and I know he felt "grateful" to be with a woman "hotter" than he was.  I have to admit that because I knew I was really, really hot and got tons of attention I was SUCH a rude, conceited BITCH that treated "lesser" people badly. During my pregnancy I developed moderate stretch marks (I only gained 25 lbs but my belly and breasts became HUGE).  Over the next several years I gained an excessive amount of weight - 90 lbs!!  Because of my insecurity over my weight I started to let myself go in other ways.  While I was going down on the hotness scale, my ex was constantly hitting the gym and grooming himself better than ever.  So while I became, like, a 5 (and only that because I had a pretty face) my ex became a solid 9.  He began to exude alpha male confidence and became quite narcissistic due to all the positive attention he was now receiving.  He became an absolute jack ass to people he now deemed "lesser".  Needless to say, he cheated on me with hot women he felt were more worthy of him than I was and then left me.   The shock of divorce pushed me into high gear and I got myself back into great shape and began grooming myself again.  And while I am very attractive again, pregnancy, weight gain, and age have taken their toll and I will never be as physically beautiful as I was a few years ago.  But the experience of falling off my pedestal and being shunned because of my appearance has taught me humility and kindness and I am a MUCH more beautiful person on the inside, which I believe makes me a much better catch now than I ever was at my physical peak. Likewise, my ex is less of a catch now because of his attitude even though he is sexier than ever.  I am now dating a man who, even at his physical best, is only a 5-6 BUT he is intelligent, great with my kids, kind, loyal and SANE.  I am far happier with him than my sexy ex or any of the other fantastically sexy men I've dated since becoming hot again.  I can't speak for the men, but ladies, do yourselves a favor and give the less-than-stellar-looking dudes a shot ... they are often MUCH better men, lovers, fathers, husbands, etc than the really pretty ones.   Before I had my child at the age of 20 (I am now 26) I was definitely smokin’ hot.  From the neck up I was a 10 and could compete with any supermodel.  My body, though good, was perhaps a 7 (legs not super long, not enough curves in the right places).  My then-husband was probably a 6-7 and I know he felt “grateful” to be with a woman “hotter” than he was.  I have to admit that because I knew I was really, really hot and got tons of attention I was SUCH a rude, conceited BITCH that treated “lesser” people badly. During my pregnancy I developed moderate stretch marks (I only gained 25 lbs but my belly and breasts became HUGE).  Over the next several years I gained an excessive amount of weight – 90 lbs!!  Because of my insecurity over my weight I started to let myself go in other ways.  While I was going down on the hotness scale, my ex was constantly hitting the gym and grooming himself better than ever.  So while I became, like, a 5 (and only that because I had a pretty face) my ex became a solid 9.  He began to exude alpha male confidence and became quite narcissistic due to all the positive attention he was now receiving.  He became an absolute jack ass to people he now deemed “lesser”.  Needless to say, he cheated on me with hot women he felt were more worthy of him than I was and then left me.   The shock of divorce pushed me into high gear and I got myself back into great shape and began grooming myself again.  And while I am very attractive again, pregnancy, weight gain, and age have taken their toll and I will never be as physically beautiful as I was a few years ago.  But the experience of falling off my pedestal and being shunned because of my appearance has taught me humility and kindness and I am a MUCH more beautiful person on the inside, which I believe makes me a much better catch now than I ever was at my physical peak. Likewise, my ex is less of a catch now because of his attitude even though he is sexier than ever.  I am now dating a man who, even at his physical best, is only a 5-6 BUT he is intelligent, great with my kids, kind, loyal and SANE.  I am far happier with him than my sexy ex or any of the other fantastically sexy men I’ve dated since becoming hot again.  I can’t speak for the men, but ladies, do yourselves a favor and give the less-than-stellar-looking dudes a shot … they are often MUCH better men, lovers, fathers, husbands, etc than the really pretty ones.
 

]]> By: Sonia http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-175372 Sonia Sat, 27 Aug 2011 15:20:52 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-175372 If I were going by Alan's system, then I was a 5 a few years ago and have become a 4 since giving birth.  And I only gained 10 pounds (I weigh 128 or so).  Complaining seems kinda silly now, cuz I know I'm not gonna attract many guys since guys prefer looks, and it makes sense why my partner talks about other girls all the time: compared to me, they're everywhere.  Girls that are 7's, 8's, 9's, and 10's compared to who he gets at home. But I'll tell you what: life's a lot simpler once you've decided to stop worrying about the opposite gender. :-) I don't know why he's settling for me if he yearns for other women, don't know why he wants to marry me ...but I'll take it.  When he's ogling the other chicks, I'll gently take our son aside and teach him that women are much more than their looks... :-) Damn, I'm probably gonna be a single mother. :-( If I were going by Alan’s system, then I was a 5 a few years ago and have become a 4 since giving birth.  And I only gained 10 pounds (I weigh 128 or so).  Complaining seems kinda silly now, cuz I know I’m not gonna attract many guys since guys prefer looks, and it makes sense why my partner talks about other girls all the time: compared to me, they’re everywhere.  Girls that are 7′s, 8′s, 9′s, and 10′s compared to who he gets at home.

But I’ll tell you what: life’s a lot simpler once you’ve decided to stop worrying about the opposite gender. :-)

I don’t know why he’s settling for me if he yearns for other women, don’t know why he wants to marry me …but I’ll take it.  When he’s ogling the other chicks, I’ll gently take our son aside and teach him that women are much more than their looks… :-) Damn, I’m probably gonna be a single mother. :-(

]]> By: Yucca http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-171126 Yucca Fri, 12 Aug 2011 18:58:41 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-171126 I am 9 (a girl). if i were 4 inches taller, i would be 10. But i get a lot of options anyways. i was never into pretty boys/handsome men. I always liked confident, cocky, smart 7-th. the guy i am with now looks like Shrek. I am laughing how ugly and well "lived-in" he looks (drinking, poor dieting, etc amde its imact on originally good genes). And you know what, it doesnt matter at all to me. He is a MAN. He grabs my hair, commands me to do this and that for him....at certain moments (you know what i mean). and this all that matters. I am 9 (a girl). if i were 4 inches taller, i would be 10. But i get a lot of options anyways. i was never into pretty boys/handsome men. I always liked confident, cocky, smart 7-th. the guy i am with now looks like Shrek. I am laughing how ugly and well “lived-in” he looks (drinking, poor dieting, etc amde its imact on originally good genes). And you know what, it doesnt matter at all to me. He is a MAN. He grabs my hair, commands me to do this and that for him….at certain moments (you know what i mean). and this all that matters.

]]> By: AndThatsWhyYoureSingle http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-160815 AndThatsWhyYoureSingle Thu, 16 Jun 2011 19:42:02 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-160815 My friend was dating a woman recently who he admits is way out of his league. At first, it was fun. But because she was so "hot" she was incredibly insecure and feared he was just using her for sex. So it became a constant chess game. She wanted him to prove how invested he was and not just with her for her looks. It got so annoying for him that he had to break up with her. I think a lot of men and women like the idea of dating someone "hot." But when they get it, unless they're "hot, too they aren't prepared for what's involved. My friend was dating a woman recently who he admits is way out of his league. At first, it was fun. But because she was so “hot” she was incredibly insecure and feared he was just using her for sex. So it became a constant chess game. She wanted him to prove how invested he was and not just with her for her looks. It got so annoying for him that he had to break up with her. I think a lot of men and women like the idea of dating someone “hot.” But when they get it, unless they’re “hot, too they aren’t prepared for what’s involved.

]]> By: Christel http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-147302 Christel Tue, 29 Mar 2011 01:11:01 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-147302 Julie, you are so exactly right. My advice is to not even look at the 7-10s. Go out with the 1-5s. Find one with the same values as you who is kind, loving, affectionate, confident, is a hard worker, treats others well, has a positive attitude, a good kisser, who treats you like you are a ten even if you aren't one. Treat him just as well as he treats you, and strive to be every bit as good of a person as he is. If you have sexual chemistry (Has NOTHING to do with looks. Trust me.) then soon those little things about his appearance that might have kept you from approaching him won't even matter to you. Looks fade anyway. I went out with any guy who asked me out and didn't have any deal breakers (conflicting religious or political views, major differences in values, married, criminal record) at least once. If I didn't absolutely hate him I'd go out with him at least two more times as long as he kept asking me. I found someone over a year ago, and I've never been happier. I know that objectively most women would not give him a second look, but to me he is a 10. Julie, you are so exactly right. My advice is to not even look at the 7-10s. Go out with the 1-5s. Find one with the same values as you who is kind, loving, affectionate, confident, is a hard worker, treats others well, has a positive attitude, a good kisser, who treats you like you are a ten even if you aren’t one. Treat him just as well as he treats you, and strive to be every bit as good of a person as he is. If you have sexual chemistry (Has NOTHING to do with looks. Trust me.) then soon those little things about his appearance that might have kept you from approaching him won’t even matter to you. Looks fade anyway.
I went out with any guy who asked me out and didn’t have any deal breakers (conflicting religious or political views, major differences in values, married, criminal record) at least once. If I didn’t absolutely hate him I’d go out with him at least two more times as long as he kept asking me. I found someone over a year ago, and I’ve never been happier. I know that objectively most women would not give him a second look, but to me he is a 10.

]]> By: Terri http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-143782 Terri Tue, 08 Mar 2011 08:21:03 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-143782 "I spent my life looking for the perfect woman but alas, when I finally found her, she was searching for the perfect man."   Anonymous   “I spent my life looking for the perfect woman but alas, when I finally found her, she was searching for the perfect man.”   Anonymous
 

]]> By: Foxx http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-133482 Foxx Fri, 28 Jan 2011 02:51:28 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-133482 I will date a 5-7 anytime anyday. 10's are boring. Who needs a eye candy with filthy attitude. I have never liked pretty boys and I am a pretty girl. I actually find that 10's are always in competition with their 10's girls. I've been past the looks for a very long time. I just would like if my man is neat, grooms himself properly, speaks well with a nice attitude and you are a keeper. And did someone say Nicholas Cage. yes my typical example of a 7 I will date. There is something appealing about underrated guys in the looks department who exude charisma, swageer and charisma. I will date a 5-7 anytime anyday. 10′s are boring. Who needs a eye candy with filthy attitude. I have never liked pretty boys and I am a pretty girl. I actually find that 10′s are always in competition with their 10′s girls. I’ve been past the looks for a very long time. I just would like if my man is neat, grooms himself properly, speaks well with a nice attitude and you are a keeper. And did someone say Nicholas Cage. yes my typical example of a 7 I will date. There is something appealing about underrated guys in the looks department who exude charisma, swageer and charisma.

]]> By: Julie http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-date-a-7-or-hold-out-for-a-10/comment-page-2/#comment-119144 Julie Wed, 05 Jan 2011 02:29:40 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=1183#comment-119144 I generally write off guy 10s right away as eye candy but unlikely to have "game" when it comes to intelligence and conversation. Sometimes one will surprise me, but mostly they're either talking to chicks who are prettier than me (fair enough) or they'll just start talking and expose themselves as, well, idiots. I'll talk to anyone who's not an idiot. If he's smart, interesting, interested, polite, well-spoken, and not clingy, then he's got a shot with me. I'd have no problems dating a big guy who ate a basically healthy diet and wouldn't blink at a 4 mile walk up and down an easy mountain trail. It's not about the size, it's about the habits. I generally write off guy 10s right away as eye candy but unlikely to have “game” when it comes to intelligence and conversation. Sometimes one will surprise me, but mostly they’re either talking to chicks who are prettier than me (fair enough) or they’ll just start talking and expose themselves as, well, idiots.
I’ll talk to anyone who’s not an idiot. If he’s smart, interesting, interested, polite, well-spoken, and not clingy, then he’s got a shot with me.
I’d have no problems dating a big guy who ate a basically healthy diet and wouldn’t blink at a 4 mile walk up and down an easy mountain trail. It’s not about the size, it’s about the habits.

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