Are you willing to marry a man who puts the needs of his church ahead of the needs of his wife?
Moreover, are you willing to take a chance that a man who doesn’t exercise free will over his own choices in life is going to be a good husband and father? As you said yourself; if, for whatever reason, the church denies your annulment, he’s breaking up with you. And it’s not even a guarantee that you’ll be married (much less happily married) if the annulment comes through.
Are you willing to take a chance that a man who doesn’t exercise free will over his own choices in life is going to be a good husband and father?
I’m generally not one to give out validation in this space, but I’m highly sympathetic to the way you’re feeling.
One of the things that makes my life so charmed is the ability that I have to exercise control over it. I’m my own boss, offering my own opinion to women who seem to value it. I have a very accepting wife. And when someone else tries to exert her will in such a way that’s uncomfortable to me (my Mom or my wife’s Mom, for example), I maintain the right act in a way that works for my nuclear family.
This is a choice I made: to not prostrate myself to others’ dictates.
You’ve chosen a boyfriend who has already picked sides.
Compromising with you for your happiness is out of the question.
If your relationship will work, it’s going to be about you, compromising for the sake of the Catholic Church.
Personally, that wouldn’t work for me.
And, from the tone of your note, I’m guessing it doesn’t really work for you either. As tough as it is, religion is one of those issues that will impact the rest of your life. If you can’t find a path to meet halfway, I would highly suggest you find yourself a new partner who will.
Just have faith. With no disrespect to your boyfriend, there are MILLIONS of men out there who can make you happy, and will put your needs above the church’s policies.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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