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Hi, I have been dating this guy for a year and a half. It was my birthday recently, and he gave me a ballpoint pen (silver handmade expensive) but I didn’t want something like that at all. He doesn’t seem to know me. And a few days after my birthday is his best friend’s, who asked him to be a groomsman (not even best man, so you note.) But because friend is busy with work, he can’t really celebrate his birthday. My boyfriend commented during lunch how he wants to throw his friend a birthday party. I said, “wow, I wish you had done that for me.” This goes back to more than birthdays, of course. He says he is always, “bros before hoes.” In the past my boyfriend told me that his friend could always make him feel better when I sometimes make him feel worse when he too down for unknown reasons. I feel like I give him more sobering perspective as opposed to, “it’s OK. Let’s drink beer.”
My boyfriend complains about stuff such as “what if years from now, I have a job that I hate?” And I have to listen to this as if no one in the world hates their current state of employment! He also takes his friends out (about 4 times) for wine tasting, but I had to ask him for months before he did that once with me. I think I am supportive because I do listen to him complain about everything that stems from his insecurities. He leaves me with comments like, “you make me so happy,” “I don’t know what I will do if you leave,” and “I love you more than anything.” I also try to help out financially when he complains about being poor. But I never feel like things are connecting.
We are both students and live about 5 hours apart from each other. Whenever I visit him, we have lunch with his friends at least once. I also had to hear about him go on and on about how he will miss his friends once they graduate and leave. One time, I was trying to tell him something serious about my parents but he was upset that I wasn’t focusing on how his friend will move away in 3 months. The good part about the relationship might be that we get along pretty well and he does seem to love me at least emotionally. But the sex has not been earth shattering, his self esteem is bringing me down too, and he is more excited and thoughtful towards his friends. My boyfriend is 25, and I am a few years older than him. It may take some time but how long should I wait?
Before I answer your question, I’m hoping you could answer mine.
So, I’m working at this marketing company for the past year and a half.
To answer your question, answer mine.
When I started there, I thought it was a dream job. Yes, I had to commute. Yes, the pay was low. But I really thought there was potential for growth there. Now I’m having some second thoughts.
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