Comments on: Should I Marry A Man Who Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With Me? http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/ Wed, 19 Jun 2013 17:41:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Amy http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-940901 Amy Tue, 04 Jun 2013 19:16:47 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-940901 I would suggest to get this problem fixed before you are married! I know I’m currently in that exact situation right now. If you can’t fix the problem there will be some one else who will treat you like a wife should be treated.
I’m stuck with the same problem. Married 45+ years and only had sex once in my entire life. I can’t even remember what it was like any more. We had sex on our wedding night and then nothing. Never had a life long partner, no children or a loving family. He told me he hated sex with me, it was disgusting, disturbing, messy, smelly, not worth the effort. He didn’t under stand how any one could do such a vile thing to another human. I regret every day for not moving on. 

]]> By: Rose http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-451894 Rose Thu, 25 Oct 2012 07:25:51 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-451894 This is not good. GET OUT NOW! I have been married for 18 years. We did not have a lot of sex before we were married because he wanted to “wait till marriage.” I thought that was romantic and I agreed. We kissed etc. but he was not all over me. He said his roomate was there he did not want to. I had a baby the first year and we never had sex the whole time I was PJ. Since it has ben 3 times a year. I have been having an affair for 2 years. I want out BAD!  I feel trappd and passively agressive abused by him like he has ownership papers on me. My DD graduates next year I am outa here! I have not had sex with him in 3 years. I felt like a freak. GET OUT NOW! Think of the future. You may be miserable as hell in a few years especially when you hit your 40s and your libido picks up. I am not proud of my life but am telling you this so you avoid a BIG mistake!

]]> By: Xa http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-211659 Xa Sat, 03 Dec 2011 07:59:39 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-211659 Has your boyfriend ever been sexually abused? This seems like a painfully obvious answer to this situation. He coudl be scarred by a past experience to the point where he is unable to talk about it, and sex could be absolutely terrifying for him. This isn’t your fault, but it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever for people to sit here calling him gay or saying he must find you unattractive when the issue is very likely to be something TOTALLY different. Instead of dumping him, encourage him to seek  counseling and try to work on having open communicatino with him.

]]> By: Ventressa http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-75177 Ventressa Sun, 18 Jul 2010 06:51:16 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-75177 I have a similar problem.  One thing I suggest you consider is if he`s using any substances such as marijuana.  My boyfriend smokes marijuana a lot and basically it makes sex seem like `too much work`… kills the libido when they smoke a lot.  That could be some of what`s happening in the situations mentioned here…

]]> By: Gayle http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-73100 Gayle Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:39:15 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-73100 I had a boyfriend who is the same way.  He had issues from the start and as things dwindled from little to none, he started to blame me. That was his way of ending it, when it was obvious something else was going on with him.
I accepted the excuses and problems for awhile, tried every angle, but realized that he just might be gay and is in denial or else he has a physical problem and is in denial.  He liked me well enough in the beginning and still hangs around and yeah, he’s happy now that the pressure is off of him and doesn’t give a hoot about how that affects me. 
I say dump him and look for somebody who is compatible with your wants and needs.  These duds don’t change.  And no, they won’t go to counseling because they don’t want to change.

]]> By: starthrower68 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-18697 starthrower68 Sun, 30 Nov 2008 06:14:25 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-18697 If you’re wanting children, this might make it difficult. Not that there aren’t alternatives, but this would be the easiest way to make babies. Also not saying that marriage is strictly about making babies. You might also want to know if there is some sort of anger toward you that is an underlying issue, maybe a passive-agressive thing. If you truly love and want to marry this guy, then do so, but be sure you do so with your eyes wide open.

]]> By: mary http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-18686 mary Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:31:02 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-18686 I mariied a man who doesn’t want to have sex with me because he says I don’t know what i’m doing. I had only been with two other men prior to him and one was my ex. When I try to initiate sex with him he pushes me away. I say please try to talk to your boyfreind about this issue prior to marrying him. I love my husband and intend to do everything I can to get him to have sex with me, but I don’t intend to be in a sexless marriage for much longer.

]]> By: Andres http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-15238 Andres Sun, 05 Oct 2008 00:39:19 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-15238 Desperate

You shouldn’t settle with this guy – it’s obvious he has some deep dark issues with sex. Due to his inexperience he’s afraid he won’t be able to satisfy you correctly.

He needs the help not you!

I hope you don’t marry him because it sounds like you are still young and you don’t want to spend the rest of your days with a man who doesn’t want sex with you.

]]> By: Peter http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-12954 Peter Sun, 24 Aug 2008 10:39:05 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-12954 Since everyone seems to bash the man not having sex, suggesting he is gay or plain out doesn’t understand I would like to state my reasons.

I am a man who does not have sex with his wife. She is attractive and I love her so much. I would rather die then see her get hurt. But I have a problem that I have asked therapists for help with and doctors without either being much help.

When I love someone I can’t have sex with them. I don’t know if it is because I hooked up a lot in my college years or because when I was young I was molested for a short period of time..maybe both. But when I am in love I can no longer have sex. The thought of having sex with the person I love grosses me out and sometimes even seems disrespectful.

My wife and I fight about this from time to time. I am so scared she will leave me because she is my life. There is no other woman I want. It also leaves me with the fear she will cheat on me. I have never cheated on her and I am not having sex either.

The strange thing is I could have sex with a stranger the desire is not gone. But with her I just can’t and I feel awful about that.

]]> By: Angela http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/comment-page-1/#comment-12801 Angela Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:00:23 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-i-marry-a-man-who-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me/#comment-12801 I married my best friend (our sex life had disappeared long before the wedding day), and for two years, we only had sex SIX TIMES. That includes our honeymoon. By the time I asked him for a divorce, I was miserable. Turns out, he was, too. Even though we are both attractive and healthy, we just didn’t really click that way. Five years after our divorce, we’re still perfectly happy being best friends, counseling each other on dating and relationships, and NOT having sex. 8) It’s great to marry your best friend, but he should also be the best friend you want to jump all the time!

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