Should I Track Down The Guy Who Didn’t Take My Number?
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And, to me, that’s the only problem with you stalk–I mean–“looking up” this attractive man at his law firm. Fact is: if he wanted to ask you out, he would have asked you out. How do I know this? Because that’s what men DO.
Sure, there’s always the man who’s impossibly shy and needs someone to give him a pep talk before he can approach a woman. Yet, this is rarely the man women pine over.
Fact is: if he wanted to ask you out, he would have asked you out.
Objectively, it costs you nothing to send him an email and say, “Had a great time meeting you. Wanna grab a drink?” In fact, if it would give you closure, I say go ahead and do it.
I just wouldn’t expect very much in the way of a reply.
He had his chance to ask you out and he opted not to. I would think that would be all the evidence you would need.
Or, as my assistant wrote when forwarding me this question: “If he likes you, he, uh, won’t sneak out of a political function!”
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54 Comments »Filed Under Dating
Steve 1
Robin;
If you do not have an upcoming chance to see the guy again, he is gone. You have nothing to lose by sending him your business card.
You don’t have to ask him out. Send him your card. Start up a conversation about business matters, drop subtle hints that you like him and let him ask you out.
Sarahrahrah! 2
This is a tough one, imo. I’ve been in situations like these before and it seems like I have always had to work to show some kind of interest before a guy would ask me out. Of course, when I have, guys have wanted to date me. However, looking back on my life, I’m not sure if I set up the right dynamic in my relationships, i.e. it led to being involved with passive-aggressive types.
Therefore, I like Evan’s advice, but Steve has a point, too. What are your dating patterns? Is this man someone that would otherwise be a good business contact? It wouldn’t hurt to add him to a social networking site. I like this idea because then he’d be subtly reminded of you, but it wouldn’t be the same as you asking him out. Also, if you’ve had problems in the past with passive or passive-aggressive men, then it might be good to sit back on this one and let that man do some work. After all, he saw your business card, so he likely knows your name, too. I think there is much to be said for how men value you in a long term relationship. The might treat you differently if they perceive they had to “work” for you or if they feel/felt as though you are there at their disposal.
Whatever you decide, I wish you luck, Robin! :-)
AndThatsWhyYoureSingle 3
Send him the email. If he freaks out or is put off, he wasn’t the right fit for you anyway, so no loss. When someone is truly interested, it doesn’t matter how you got together, how you met or who contacted whom first.
Still Looking 4
Robin – I agree with Steve’s comments – nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you met at a party or a bar and he didn’t ask for your number, then he is probably not interested. A formal dinner is not the most opportune time for a man to ask for your number, especially if a speaker is walking to the podium. I’d put this scenario into the same category as sending the first email on an internet dating site — go for it.
Selena 5
“Two and a half years later boy proposes to girl.”
That’s how it’s supposed to go?
In my experience, 2 and a half years is dawdling – unless you’re still in high school/ college. What if you’ve lived together? Often in such a case, marriage is discussed by both parties, not a unilateral proposal on the part of the “boy”. Shakin’ my head.
Selena 6
Why is it dating experts discourage women from taking initiative when it comes to contacting/ asking men out, but in the comment sections, non-dating expert guys say “go for it”?
Cat 7
Selena (#6) asks: Why is it dating experts discourage women from taking initiative when it comes to contacting/ asking men out, but in the comment sections, non-dating expert guys say “go for it”?
Probably because dating experts hear from hundreds of women who don’t find success from doing the pursuing and see them waste a lot of time/energy doing something with no return. Evan has a great post on this called: Should Women Ask Men Out on First Dates? It does give the exception: extremely shy guys.
As far as her tracking him down, don’t you think this guy has the same ability to track HER down if he wants to? 14 course political dinners aren’t thrown together like a cocktail party! She was most likely in an assigned seat and the organizer knows her name, etc. I had a guy once track me down (pre-Facebook era) by calling every woman in the phone book with my name! (There were quite a few.)
Maybe this guy is married or already in a relationship, so he didn’t ask for her number because he’s not a cheater. Maybe he’s single and just not that interested. But if he is interested, it’s certainly not impossible to find her. (I’m sure Karl can come up with the odds on that!)
Bridget 8
No one mentioned the idea that maybe this guy is already involved with someone. If he’s attractive like she says he is, then he most likely has an active dating life or even a girlfriend. But I do agree with Evan, if he wanted her number/business card he would have asked for it… and if for some reason he changes his mind, then he should be the one sending the “nice meeting you” e-mail.
SS 9
I have a similar story… except it wasn’t a political dinner. I had a fabulous conversation with a man at an event, we seemed to hit it off and then he had to go… I then interjected and asked if they (his group) were going to get dinner, and I said I hadn’t eaten. He took the opportunity to invite me along. We had fun and he walked me back to my car and I drove him to his hotel. Mild flirting took place and it was cool.
The next (and final) day of the event, he said, “Have a safe trip home!” I asked for a card, he said he didn’t have one. I then handed him mine and told him to keep in touch. He said thanks.
Later, I found his e-mail and sent him a funny e-mail. We talked back and forth by e-mail for a while, and every once in a while when our paths crossed, I would contact him. He always chose to meet up with me and we’d have dinner and again, mild flirting would ensue.
After about a year of this, and only one call initiated on his end to me, I stopped. He’s a nice enough guy and was interested to a degree (obviously), but not enough to do any serious pursuit of me, for whatever reason.
Long story short, I used to frequently do this with men I met quickly and felt a connection to, and then always found ways to find them and contact them… until I realized that not one of these men took the initiative to ask me for my number or said that they’d like to see or talk to me again in the future.
No, it can’t hurt for the letter writer to contact the guy, but my personal experience is pretty dead on with what Evan said… if the guy had really wanted to see me again, he would have found a way to make it happen and I never would have had to “track him down” all of those times in the first place.
Selena 10
Heh heh Cat. Actually I agree with the premise for women to ”do nothing” and let the man prove whether he’s interested or not. It never fails however, when this premise is discussed on internet forums there are always a few guys who say they’d love it if women did some of the pursuing (and ofcourse paying) – *equality* and all that. But how often does it ever work out for the woman who pursues them?
In today’s example, if the guy is really interested why didn’t he ask her for his card? That’s the tell.
Selena 11
“But how often does it ever work out for the woman who pursues them?”
My guess is about as often as it did for SS #9.
This is why women are advised not to pursue.
SS 12
@Selena: It never fails however, when this premise is discussed on internet forums there are always a few guys who say they’d love it if women did some of the pursuing (and ofcourse paying) – *equality* and all that.
Oh, I’m sure they would like that… and those men might respond favorably and go out on the date, which frequently happened to me.
But that doesn’t mean that they are interested in pursuing the woman after that, which is what I think women in such situations need to recognize. Just because a man says, “Oh yeah, I’d be flattered if a woman asked me out,” doesn’t mean that he’s interested.
He’s just flattered that a woman asked him out and pursued him, and that’s it.
Steve 13
Cat #6 wrote:
As far as her tracking him down, don’t you think this guy has the same ability to track HER down if he wants to? 14 course political dinners aren’t thrown together like a cocktail party! She was most likely in an assigned seat and the organizer knows her name, etc.
A man “tracking down” a woman for a date via a business encounter brings up nightmares of sexual harassment suits in the year 2011. A lot of men might just decide given that choice it is better to find their dates outside of anything work related.
june 14
what if the woman in question is incredibly attractive? could it not be possible that the man assumes he has no chance, or that she is probably already taken? to the guys answering this question, there has never been a time where you assumed there was no point? you never pined away for someone you thought you could never have? this might just be my opinion, but i feel like we are contributing way to much confidence to men as a whole, but, of course, i am no expert.
A-L 15
Let him contact you. I remember being at a dance, and danced a few times with a guy who did not ask for my contact info. But the next day I had an e-mail from him because he knew which department I was in and was able to contact me that way. If he’s interested, he’ll find a way to get a hold of you, and then you get the pleasure of knowing that it isn’t just a polite/flattered response on his part. If he’s not interested enough to find out how to contact you, he’s not interested.
Zann 16
I say no. Actually, I say Hell No. Do not hunt this man down. Hold your head up and enjoy the fact that he seemed to shine in your company (because you are radiant yourself, of course!) and it didn’t hurt that he gave off some good man-vibes that made the dinner much more enjoyable. I know what you’re thinking, because I’ve thought the same thing myself, uh, many times. You’re convinced that a cruel twist of fate has kept you from connecting with The One, but that’s not true. Because if he felt the same attraction and he’s available… he’ll find you. Social networking and business networks abound. In fact, it’s now much harder to not be found than it is to be found in almost any city on the planet.
I don’t mean to be cruel or judgmental, but how many of us (me included) convince ourselves “But oh, my situation is unique” and but for the special situation that swept him away from you, totally out of his control, right now he’d be begging you to join him on a week-long getaway in Paradise, on him.
Nah. Like others have said, there’s no real harm in seeking him out. Personally, though, every time I do this, I wind up kicking myself & asking myself why I didn’t see the obvious: he wasn’t that into me, cuz if he was, WILD HORSES couldn’t keep him away. And then I feel foolish, embarrassed, dumb and that erases the good feeling I got just being in his midst. That’s the feeling I recommend you savor, and let the rest just be.
Karl R 17
Cat, (#7)
If he’s sufficiently interested and competent, he will track her down. And as your example indicates, the competence level can be worked around.
The man hesitated when he looked at her business card. It doesn’t take long to read one, and the company name is usualy the largest font. That’s plenty of information.
I found a woman in a city of a few million. I knew her first name (which was common), and I knew she had two jobs (office manager & yoga instructor). It took me less than 20 minutes on Google to find her.
Jadafisk 18
I think this particular situation’s pretty cut and dry – don’t do it, you’ll seem creepy. But in general, aren’t most women in the relationship predicaments they’re in because waiting for the right guy to ask them out isn’t working, either? Look at all of the relationships that fail after men take the initiative/make the first move, and somehow, that factor is never cited or blamed. That being said, men disproportionately reject based on the immutable, and that can be a bitter pill. Also, its success is probably highly dependent on the kind of guy and the kind of relationship a woman wants to have.
david 19
I’m guessing this “attractive” man is in his 30′s 40′s 50′s? A man who is sophisticated enough to be invited to /attend political dinners? HELLLOOOOO — HE KNOWS HOW TO ASK WOMEN OUT — WOMEN HE’S INTERESTED IN. I’m guessing his been doing it for 20+ years? He “hesitated” when he came you as he was saying his goodbyes? I’m surprised I’m the only one throwing this out there — maybe he’s thinking “Oh shit, that lady’s interested in me and wants me to take her card/ask her out and I’m not on board.” Even though in the ENTIRE TIME he spent chatting with her — before he “snuck out” — he didn’t ask for her card, e-mail, if she was on Facebook, blah blah blah…
Yeah, you could track him down and e-mail him, on the OFF-CHANCE he’s, um “shy” (But I’m guessing this attractive, politically-savy dude did not get to where he is in life by being “shy”)…
And yes, he might have a girlfriend. Or might be gay. Or — OMG — not interested.
starthrower68 20
Put down the business card and slowly back away.
BeenThruTheWars 21
IMO, it’s 18 months, and if there’s been no proposal, it’s time to have “The Talk.” Not before.
Agree with Evan that, if this man really, REALLY was attracted to you and wants to date you? He will find a way to get in touch with you. Surely, if you chatted with him through a fourteen course meal, you dropped enough personal information for him to find you, right?
Men do what they want to do, and they don’t do what they don’t want to do. Trying to nudge along something that wasn’t meant to be probably won’t get you anything but embarrassed and wishing you’d just left well enough alone.
Arabella 22
Evan,
There`s another alternative. You`re forgetting that she could also do what one of your admired authors, the author of `Screw Cupid`, said about approaching neutral. She could think of a reason to contact him that leaves him thinking that she didn`t contact him because she`s interested in him more than friendship or business. Maybe extracting something from their conversation about labor law and asking what his opinion is seeing as how a friend of hers is struggling with a labor law issue and he seems qualified to give her some views. Then do nothing. Wait and see what he does. That way, he has her contact info and can decide on his own accord whether to move the interaction to a higher level or not.
Ruby 23
I think Robin read the man’s hesitation as a sign he was considering asking for her business card, and that he might be interested. i read his hesitation as a sign that he thought about it, and decided not to do it. That was the moment he should have asked for her card.
Sometimes, when you give a man a “push”, he might check you out even if he isn’t really interested, but it doesn’t go anywhere. If she really wants to be certain, she could email him, but I would try to make it sound like it’s about business only.
Steve 24
@ #2
I don’t think she should ask him out ( I agree with not pursuing men who do not initiate pursuing ), only to create a situation to give him a second chance to do it.
Goldie 25
My 2 cents on this – if this guy can be of use to you as a business connection (plan B if the romantic stuff doesn’t work out), send him the email, and be sure to keep it businesslike, or else it’ll sound stalkerish.
Truth be told, I don’t think he’s interested enough romantically, or else he’d have asked for the card. But as an extra link in your network, he’ll serve.
Diana 26
Evan, never was a truer word spoken. I have been in dating arena more years than I care to admit, and I WISH I had a better understanding of the “hunter” principle before hitting my late 30s. The guy I am with now pursued and still pursues me. How’s that for proof that Evan’s theory works?
Sherell 27
Hell send him the email if he doesn’t respond case close. I am dating a shy guy now. I did not really understand how shy he was in the begininng. If I had followed Evan’s advice we may not have gotten together. No harm. But realize that once and only once you can throw the ball in his court and show him you may be receptive to his advances. After that if he doesn’t pursue you. It’s game over!!!
Steve 28
@ #27, how long have you been together?
Angie 29
I actually know two instances where this worked out and one couple is engaged, the other has been married for about four years.
The scenarios were…
A woman was a receptionist at a chiropractor’s office. He came in with an injury. She looked him up in the patient files, gave him a call… Marriage and two kids.
The second woman was a producer of a TV dating show where he was a contestant, as his friends elected him because they thought he should be out dating. She had his info from his release forms, looked him up on facebook and asked him out… they are getting married in September.
Neither of these guys are feminine, dorky, or lacking masculinity (the first one is in construction, which is how he injured himself). Both did the proposing. The women just used their resources and let it be known they thought the guy was cute… and it worked!
I don’t think sending an email or a facebook friend request is a bad thing!
Ganesha 30
Actually what #27 and #29 are proposing is a similar approach to what Evan says in sending first emails in a dating website. Just send a cute email, friend request or whatsover (no speaking about meeting or first date), but to keep contact and then wait and see.
However, do not tend to expect the same level of success as if they contact you firstly, but it could work, I agree.
BTW, Evan and wife, congratulations on you baby girl. I wish you the best for your new family.
Kat Wilder 31
Guess I’m a modern woman because I’d send him an email, a short one, in which I’d say that enjoyed talking to him and then I’d probably make a joke about something that happened after he left (cause I have a sense of humor).
And that’s it.
If something happens, fine. If not, fine.
If the email is written in a neutral way, no one should get offended — like his SO!
Sherell 32
Steve- 7 months. Why?
Michael17 33
Evan, I am going to have to disagree with you. I’d say just write him along the lines of what Kat Wilder suggested. I have been the guy in this situation before, and the girl’s stock definitely went up with me when I got her email.
There’s a big difference between being proactive in the relationship (bad) and showing that he impressed you enough so that you are willing to take a chance and put yourself out there for him just this one time (very powerful).
Michael17 34
A crucial detail of this story is that Robin already gave her business card to someone else. Yes, Robin isn’t interested in this other guy, but the guy whom Robin is interested in might not realize that.
My point is that women often think they’re giving signals to men that have to be as clear as the Rocky Mountain sky on a cloudless night, but very often they really are not to us. There’s definitely the possibility that the guy Robin is interested in, has no idea that she is interested. So he didn’t ask.
Write and send him the email.
Vox 35
Send the email if you want, but to be honest, the guy probably enjoyed talking to you but did not find you particularly attractive. If he did, he would have asked for your card which was sitting right there on the table. He looked at it and passed. He’s not interested.
Diana 36
I would send him an email in the way the writer proposes. If he hesitated in saying his goodbye to her and he eyed her business card, he was at least considering her.
The fact that he hasn’t initiated contact with her could be for a thousand reasons, including business that might be keeping him away. Not all reasons have to be he’s already seeing someone else, etc.
Rather than playing armchair quarterback, put a close to the mystery. No harm done. I am sure she can handle it, if he doesn’t respond, or not in the way she hopes, and he’s not going to freak out, if she contacts him in this manner. He’ll likely feel flattered.
Also, he may have misinterpreted her gesture when she offered her business card to another gentleman, i.e. she liked him more. We do not know for sure if the writer explained this gesture other than to Evan or that the guy realized she didn’t offer him her card due to another presentation starting. How long does it really take to offer someone your card and say, “I’d enjoy talking more later” with a smile.
Laine 37
I think the lesson here is to 1. Have a business card 2. Hand them out to everyone at the table/function 3. Smile while handing them out
I would send him the business card in the mail to his place of employment, and attach a note with something along the lines of ” What an interesting group of people to spend the evening with. We have all swapped business cards, and there was talk of another get together at some point in the future. If you would like to be included, dont hesitate to let me know. Kind Regards…
This will open the door.
Im voting for you every day Evan!
Laine 38
PS I have a friend who has a card for the sole purpose of giving out his details to someone who takes his fancy in awkward situations or where there is not much time to strike up a conversation.
It is a white card, has a pair of black rimmed spectacles in the middle of the card. Underneath is written “Minor Internet celebrity”. Contact details are his Facebook URL and his Twitter details and his mobile #
He says it works a treat. The last time he used it, he was diembarking an aircraft and saw a girl sitting in a seat that he wished he’d noticed earlier. By the time he got to baggage claim. he was prepared. Handed her the card, smiled and turned and walked away. They are now dating.
Samantha 39
I agree that women should let the man do work to pursue us. I’m presently dating a man who asked me out, reached out for the first kiss, and continues to ask me for dates. It has worked like a charm. That said, I think it won’t hurt to contact him. Write him a brief note. If he writes back, great. If he doesn’t, so what. If he writes back, keep it real simple and start letting him to the work to pursue you! i.e. Don’t ask him on the first date!
Ava 40
Robin doesn’t say whether the other attendee to whom she gave a card was male or female. She has a business card, the man saw it, hesitated, but neither asked for her card or offered his own.
I wouldn’t use the “talk of another get-together” ploy, because what if that’s all he’s interested in, and there’s not going to be another get-together? If she wants to, a casual, business-like email is best. Not the end of the world if he’s not interested.
Snazzy 41
When I first started following Evan I loved the idea of “do nothing”. Then, I’d meet men who didn’t call back after a few dates and I’d try to debunk Evan’s theory such as “maybe he’s not sure if I’m interested” etc etc etc ad nauseum.
Then, I had a date with R. The date lasted hours, we had a great time and I went home. Two days later he sms’ed me asking if I wanted to catch up again. We did. That day he planned the next date. On the third date he revealed that he wasn’t sure whether I was interested as “I didn’t text him” and that “I made men work for it”. I chuckled on the inside. A few dates later again I asked him about the comment that I hadn’t texted him and his mindset was that he had paid and was surprised that I didn’t text to say thank you. I did thank him on the evening and said that I figured if he was interested he’d contact me again.
He agreed that ALL men want to do the chasing. He drills it into his 15 year old niece.
My point being – when it suited me I wanted ANY reason not to believe Evan and the theory of “do nothing”, but it’s the only way you will KNOW a man is interested. And if he’s interested HE WILL CONTACT YOU!
I say move on.
Margo 42
Well, he told her where he works, so she probably told him where she works. He should be the one tracking her down. In my opinion, if a man doesn’t have the balls to pursue a woman he’s interested in, there’s usually something wrong with him. He could be shy, insecure, on meds, etc. If she wants someone like that, then she can send the e-mail. Chances are he’s not interested though, or not interested enough.
Christie Hartman 43
If she has a way of finding him, he could probably find her. He didn’t. He isn’t that interested or has a girlfriend. At this point, sending him an email is hypothesis testing – to see if your suspicion is true. If he responds, it’s not enough for him to seem friendly; he has to pick up the reins and seek her out from then on.
In 2nd my book I differentiate between initiating and pursuing. Women initiate, men pursue. If you aren’t sure about a guy, you can make one move, and only one. Then he needs to take over and start calling, etc.
david 44
@ Margo / 42 –
He’s not shy or insecure (he’s a lawyer — I’m assuming — not really qualities that go along with the profession). He’s not on meds. He’s — OMG — not interested. He SAT NEXT TO HER ALL NIGHT and didn’t once get HER info before he left.
mara 45
I think the fact that the guy eyed the business card and didn’t ask for it is pretty telling and I would let it go – he’s not interested. If he wanted it, he definitely would have asked.
However, if there had been no card out, or even though it was, I see no harm in finding the guy’s email and sending a brief note. If it was an industry event, in this day of social networking where some people “friend” pretty much everyone they meet online, I think it’s harmless to reach out. He can ignore it or give a polite response. He won’t initiate anything further unless he’s interested.
Basically, I would send the email b/c there really is nothing to lose but not expect much more than a nice to meet you, take care response in return.
Kurt 46
I do not necessarily agree with Evan’s advice. The man may have liked Robin but maybe he wasn’t sure whether she would have wanted to give him her card – maybe he thought it would have been embarrassing to ask in front of all of those other people?
Women really do have it a lot easier than men when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. Some of the women who put forth as little effort as possible themselves and expect everything to be handed to them are the same ones who are going to be bitter single women when they are in their late 30s.
Karl R 47
Kurt said: (#46)
“The man may have liked Robin but maybe he wasn’t sure whether she would have wanted to give him her card”
Why would he have thought that?
People go to functions like that in order to network. (Otherwise, they could just send a check to the party/candidate.) Some of the networking is professional, some is personal. They bring business cards so they can give them away.
Unless the man regularly gives off a “creepy stalker” vibe, anyone who has been chatting with him for the length of a dinner would be willing to give him a business card.
Kurt said: (#46)
“maybe he thought it would have been embarrassing to ask in front of all of those other people?”
Embarassing, how?
I get the impression that you find it embarrassing to ask a woman for her phone number / email address / business card, and that you’re afraid that she might not want to give it to you.
In the four years when I was actively dating, I got a phone number or email address every time I asked a woman for one. Half of the women didn’t want to date me (they declined a date when I later asked them), but they were still willing to give me some form of contact information.
And even if Robin had declined to give him her business card, why should he be embarrassed by that? He made a perfectly normal request in a perfectly normal environment. Even if she’s not interested, she’s going to decline in a very polite way (or else her behavior will reflect poorly on her).
Kurt 48
Karl, when a woman has given me her phone number, she usually wants to go out with me. However, there have been a couple times when I asked for a woman’s phone number and got rejected – trust me, it definitely happens. But maybe the scenario is different for Robin because she met at a networking event…
Venus 49
I actually did this. It was a disaster. Met the guy in a bank. He actually came up to me and started talking. Then he left to be served and as I was leaving the bank he rushed up behind me, opened the door and then walked me to my car. Hmmm… We chatted for a while and he gave me his business card then we parted. I was puzzled that he did not ask for my number and debated my next step for a day of two. Then with the encouragement of my best friend I sent him an e-mail. I received back a very business like response and never heard from him again. : ( I consoled myself with the thought that he is probably MARRIED. Will I do it again? NOPE, NOT AT ALL.
Karl R 50
Kurt, (#48)
Whenever you ask a woman for her phone number, or you ask her out on a date, there is a chance she will decline.
So what.
That happens to everyone. Since it happens to everyone, why should I be embarrassed when it happens to me?
Paraphrasing Evan, all a guy needs to get dates is a way to break the ice and the courage to fail. The lawyer that Robin met had already successfully broken the ice….
Cat 51
Venus, (#50) If some guy “rushed up behind me” as I was leaving my bank, I’d probably think I was getting robbed and promptly jab him with my kubaton! But maybe that’s because we have a lot of bank robberies where I live. (Once they even took the whole ATM!)
Safety first, ladies!
Venus 52
LOL! I hear you Cat. But this guy was a professor at the local community college. Middle aged and balding, but very outgoing and articulate. Didn’t look the part of a robber. I have run into him since then and I’m very embarassed at having sent him that e-mail.
DD 53
I rarely get guys chasing after me, but it IS true that they’ll track you down if they want to.
I was working as a reporter, interviewing men in a nightclub for my (big-city) newspaper. This one tall, dark, handsome guy I interviewed — and never thought would give me the time of day — called my newspaper, found the department I worked in and left me a message! I was pleasantly shocked and flattered. So — much as I would even justify to myself that my sitch is unique — I gotta say Evan’s and most of the commenters’ advice is spot-on … move along now.
JB 54
First off,for all of you that “pretend” it’s so hard to “find” someone just Google anyone or yourselves and chances are if you’ve been breathing in the last decade anywhere on the planet you can and will be found. If the guy wanted to get in touch he certainly knows how but I would still tell Robin to drop him an email,what have you got to lose? So what if you never hear from him,ask all the men on here how many times we’ve been rejected/ignored on and off line.Men are funny creatures you just never know.Peoples “situations” change everyday so he might be more receptive after some time.I know when I was younger there were dozens of times I walked away after a conversation somewhere and said to myself a little later “damn,why didn’t I ask her for her number?”.