Comments on: Should I Track Down The Guy Who Didn’t Take My Number?

By: JB

JB — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 21:03:24 +0000

First off,for all of you that “pretend” it’s so hard to “find” someone just Google anyone or yourselves and chances are if you’ve been breathing in the last decade anywhere on the planet you can and will be found. If the guy wanted to get in touch he certainly knows how but I would still tell Robin to drop him an email,what have you got to lose? So what if you never hear from him,ask all the men on here how many times we’ve been rejected/ignored on and off line.Men are funny creatures you just never know.Peoples “situations” change everyday so he might be more receptive after some time.I know when I was younger there were dozens of times I walked away after a conversation somewhere and said to myself a little later “damn,why didn’t I ask her for her number?”.

By: DD

DD — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 13:22:10 +0000

I rarely get guys chasing after me, but it IS true that they’ll track you down if they want to.
I was working as a reporter, interviewing men in a nightclub for my (big-city) newspaper. This one tall, dark, handsome guy I interviewed — and never thought would give me the time of day — called my newspaper, found the department I worked in and left me a message! I was pleasantly shocked and flattered. So — much as I would even justify to myself that my sitch is unique — I gotta say Evan’s and most of the commenters’ advice is spot-on … move along now.

By: Venus

Venus — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 02:12:25 +0000

LOL! I hear you Cat. But this guy was a professor at the local community college. Middle aged and balding, but very outgoing and articulate. Didn’t look the part of a robber. I have run into him since then and I’m very embarassed at having sent him that e-mail.

By: Cat

Cat — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 23:29:22 +0000

Venus, (#50) If some guy “rushed up behind me” as I was leaving my bank, I’d probably think I was getting robbed and promptly jab him with my kubaton! But maybe that’s because we have a lot of bank robberies where I live. (Once they even took the whole ATM!)

Safety first, ladies!

By: Karl R

Karl R — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 23:08:25 +0000

Kurt, (#48)
Whenever you ask a woman for her phone number, or you ask her out on a date, there is a chance she will decline.

So what.

That happens to everyone. Since it happens to everyone, why should I be embarrassed when it happens to me?

Paraphrasing Evan, all a guy needs to get dates is a way to break the ice and the courage to fail. The lawyer that Robin met had already successfully broken the ice….

By: Venus

Venus — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 22:59:25 +0000

I actually did this. It was a disaster. Met the guy in a bank. He actually came up to me and started talking. Then he left to be served and as I was leaving the bank he rushed up behind me, opened the door and then walked me to my car. Hmmm… We chatted for a while and he gave me his business card then we parted. I was puzzled that he did not ask for my number and debated my next step for a day of two. Then with the encouragement of my best friend I sent him an e-mail. I received back a very business like response and never heard from him again. : ( I consoled myself with the thought that he is probably MARRIED. Will I do it again? NOPE, NOT AT ALL.

By: Kurt

Kurt — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 19:57:23 +0000

Karl, when a woman has given me her phone number, she usually wants to go out with me. However, there have been a couple times when I asked for a woman’s phone number and got rejected – trust me, it definitely happens. But maybe the scenario is different for Robin because she met at a networking event…

By: Karl R

Karl R — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 17:09:44 +0000

Kurt said: (#46) "The man may have liked Robin but maybe he wasn’t sure whether she would have wanted to give him her card" Why would he have thought that? People go to functions like that in order to network. (Otherwise, they could just send a check to the party/candidate.) Some of the networking is professional, some is personal. They bring business cards so they can give them away. Unless the man regularly gives off a "creepy stalker" vibe, anyone who has been chatting with him for the length of a dinner would be willing to give him a business card. Kurt said: (#46) "maybe he thought it would have been embarrassing to ask in front of all of those other people?" Embarassing, how? I get the impression that you find it embarrassing to ask a woman for her phone number / email address / business card, and that you're afraid that she might not want to give it to you. In the four years when I was actively dating, I got a phone number or email address every time I asked a woman for one. Half of the women didn't want to date me (they declined a date when I later asked them), but they were still willing to give me some form of contact information. And even if Robin had declined to give him her business card, why should he be embarrassed by that? He made a perfectly normal request in a perfectly normal environment. Even if she's not interested, she's going to decline in a very polite way (or else her behavior will reflect poorly on her).

By: Kurt

Kurt — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 09:49:53 +0000

I do not necessarily agree with Evan’s advice. The man may have liked Robin but maybe he wasn’t sure whether she would have wanted to give him her card – maybe he thought it would have been embarrassing to ask in front of all of those other people?

Women really do have it a lot easier than men when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. Some of the women who put forth as little effort as possible themselves and expect everything to be handed to them are the same ones who are going to be bitter single women when they are in their late 30s.

By: mara

mara — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 00:26:38 +0000

I think the fact that the guy eyed the business card and didn’t ask for it is pretty telling and I would let it go – he’s not interested. If he wanted it, he definitely would have asked.
However, if there had been no card out, or even though it was, I see no harm in finding the guy’s email and sending a brief note. If it was an industry event, in this day of social networking where some people “friend” pretty much everyone they meet online, I think it’s harmless to reach out. He can ignore it or give a polite response. He won’t initiate anything further unless he’s interested.
Basically, I would send the email b/c there really is nothing to lose but not expect much more than a nice to meet you, take care response in return.