I am brand new to the online dating scene and wanted to get your opinion on something…
I have noticed on many men’s profiles that they are seeking women who have never been married (older men included.) While I can understand that (to a degree) I find that when I “match” all of their other criteria and would like to communicate with them, since I am divorced I have not been communicating based on their preferences.
It seems that these men are limiting themselves especially when they have no idea why a person may be divorced in the first place. It seems like preemptive discrimination, if you will.
Thoughts? Advice on whether I should communicate with these guys or is it a waste of time?
Thanks so much!
This feels like a perfect time to dust off one of my favorite online dating concepts: that you’re as valuable as your options.
In short, you can be as choosy as you’d like to be, as long as you have an endless supply of people from which to choose. Once you start eliminating everyone from contention, and there’s no one left to date, you’ve effectively priced yourself out of the market.
As always, I’ve got some anecdotes to back this up.
You’re as valuable as your options.
Client #1 is a 69-year-old woman who is struggling to get attention online. We rebrand her on Yahoo with new photos, essays, and an empowering technique with which to write to men. Even so, it’s a tough go, mainly because there are 3 times more single women than men over the age of 65, and half of those guys wouldn’t consider a woman their own age.
Anyway, a 67-year-old man writes her a note. He’s in good shape, successful, and, most importantly, interested. She scrolls down his profile to check for common interests.
“Oh, no. He’s into aviation. I’m more of a stay-home-and-knit kind of woman. I’m not going to write back to him.”
Client #2 is a 56-year-old man who was widowed last year. He’s extremely wealthy and wants a beautiful woman to share in his life of luxury. He writes only to women who are drop-dead gorgeous and at least fifteen years younger. Many of his emails are to women across the country, who have thousands of wealthy men in their own cities from which to choose….
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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