Comments on: Should Women Write to Men? http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/ Fri, 10 Sep 2010 03:31:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: A-L http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75137 A-L Sat, 17 Jul 2010 16:34:01 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75137 Thanks, Selana!  November 21st is the big day (we've been engaged since February which is why I went on hiatus from EMK's blog...too busy getting the wedding planning underway).   Too bad we don't live in the same area so we might actually meet up in real life.  Of course, I know some people prefer to keep their anonymity.  But the regular posters definitely seem like very cool types.  So I'd like to hang out with y'all. Thanks, Selana!  November 21st is the big day (we’ve been engaged since February which is why I went on hiatus from EMK’s blog…too busy getting the wedding planning underway).
 
Too bad we don’t live in the same area so we might actually meet up in real life.  Of course, I know some people prefer to keep their anonymity.  But the regular posters definitely seem like very cool types.  So I’d like to hang out with y’all.

]]> By: sayanta http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75125 sayanta Sat, 17 Jul 2010 14:20:53 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75125 Oh- Sorry again for the double post, Evan, I promise I'll stop after this one. I just realize, BTDT and A-K- the one guy I did see- I got all flattered because he wanted to meet me RIGHT away- couldn't wait, didn't want to talk on the phone or anything. (red flag, right? but the leo in me couldn't resist this). Well, at least the guy was hot. But that's...um pretty much it. I've never been out with someone so, sorry to sound mean, but the dude was really desperate- within 5 minutes, he was asking if we were going to have a second date, third etc. And...he was nice, but definitely one of those people not comfortable in their own skin. And those kind of people end up making ME uncomfortable! So..yeah, looks like that is a red flag. PS- I know I'm making a generalization...but I've noticed that sometimes the men who don't want to talk on the phone end up having heavy foreign accents, while in e-mail/and on the profile, they gave off the impression of being born and bred American. Oh- Sorry again for the double post, Evan, I promise I’ll stop after this one.

I just realize, BTDT and A-K- the one guy I did see- I got all flattered because he wanted to meet me RIGHT away- couldn’t wait, didn’t want to talk on the phone or anything. (red flag, right? but the leo in me couldn’t resist this).

Well, at least the guy was hot. But that’s…um pretty much it. I’ve never been out with someone so, sorry to sound mean, but the dude was really desperate- within 5 minutes, he was asking if we were going to have a second date, third etc. And…he was nice, but definitely one of those people not comfortable in their own skin. And those kind of people end up making ME uncomfortable!

So..yeah, looks like that is a red flag.

PS- I know I’m making a generalization…but I’ve noticed that sometimes the men who don’t want to talk on the phone end up having heavy foreign accents, while in e-mail/and on the profile, they gave off the impression of being born and bred American.

]]> By: sayanta http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75124 sayanta Sat, 17 Jul 2010 14:12:00 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75124 thanks guys, that's some really great advice here. I have to admit, I think my mother's constant pressure to have me find a husband soon is taking its toll on the online dating scene. But anyway...I've blabbed enough about myself. A-L- that's true, what season are you going to be married in? Have you guys picked a honeymoon site yet? :-) thanks guys, that’s some really great advice here. I have to admit, I think my mother’s constant pressure to have me find a husband soon is taking its toll on the online dating scene.

But anyway…I’ve blabbed enough about myself.

A-L- that’s true, what season are you going to be married in? Have you guys picked a honeymoon site yet? :-)

]]> By: Selena http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75109 Selena Sat, 17 Jul 2010 11:07:16 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75109 Ofcourse you can join the love fest A_L! (((Hugs))) Have you set a wedding date yet? Ofcourse you can join the love fest A_L! (((Hugs)))

Have you set a wedding date yet?

]]> By: A-L http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75096 A-L Sat, 17 Jul 2010 05:06:12 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75096 Sayanta & Selena, can I join in the love fest?  Because I love y'all too!   And I have to echo BTDT about the speed of e-mails.  With one notable exception, I never corresponded with anyone for months before meeting them.  But I'd say I probably exchanged 3-4 e-mails with a guy before setting up a date.  In fact, I'd probably have felt kind of rushed if he'd asked me out on the 2nd e-mail (assuming he had begun the correspondence).  Of course, to each her own.  But I'm sure you'll end up doing great on the dating scene, Sayanta. Sayanta & Selena, can I join in the love fest?  Because I love y’all too!
 
And I have to echo BTDT about the speed of e-mails.  With one notable exception, I never corresponded with anyone for months before meeting them.  But I’d say I probably exchanged 3-4 e-mails with a guy before setting up a date.  In fact, I’d probably have felt kind of rushed if he’d asked me out on the 2nd e-mail (assuming he had begun the correspondence).  Of course, to each her own.  But I’m sure you’ll end up doing great on the dating scene, Sayanta.

]]> By: BeenthereDonethat http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75092 BeenthereDonethat Sat, 17 Jul 2010 03:06:58 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75092 @ Sayanta   I totally trust my instincts - if I get a weird vibe from the phone conversations, I follow that. OR at any time during the "getting to know someone" phase.   Also, the guys I've had the most success with were ones in which we had a lot of talking/emailing before actually meeting were ones where we talked a lot before actually meeting.  Interestingly, these guys - the ones where we did talk for months before our face to face meeting - we are still good friends.  Not that I recommend months, those just happened due to logistics, one guy was leaving the state for a couple of months just as we started to get to know each other and the other guy was super shy.  Anyway, my point is I've met people quickly (after one email) and slowly (a couple of months) and the slowly seems to produce a more genuine relationship.  So don't stress if they don't move really fast. @ Sayanta
 
I totally trust my instincts – if I get a weird vibe from the phone conversations, I follow that. OR at any time during the “getting to know someone” phase.
 
Also, the guys I’ve had the most success with were ones in which we had a lot of talking/emailing before actually meeting were ones where we talked a lot before actually meeting.  Interestingly, these guys – the ones where we did talk for months before our face to face meeting – we are still good friends.  Not that I recommend months, those just happened due to logistics, one guy was leaving the state for a couple of months just as we started to get to know each other and the other guy was super shy.  Anyway, my point is I’ve met people quickly (after one email) and slowly (a couple of months) and the slowly seems to produce a more genuine relationship.  So don’t stress if they don’t move really fast.

]]> By: sayanta http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75085 sayanta Sat, 17 Jul 2010 01:24:43 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75085 Thanks Selena! Same here- I just love the good vibes on this blog. :-) Thanks Selena! Same here- I just love the good vibes on this blog. :-)

]]> By: Selena http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75082 Selena Sat, 17 Jul 2010 00:52:08 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75082 LOL Sayanta! Well, <em>I </em>love you. :) LOL Sayanta! Well, I love you. :)

]]> By: sayanta http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-75074 sayanta Sat, 17 Jul 2010 00:09:25 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-75074 A-L- You know...that's a very good point! No, it was about 20 in one week- almost all of the e-mails were "I like your profile. Check mine out if you want." I know, deeply uncreative. Ironically, the few that I did get 'creative' with never wrote back...lol. I suppose I'm lucky that I got responses at all, taking your response into consideration. I think also...I'm getting put off when guys don't make any mention about meeting up by the second e-mail. Also...I think I'm like the most recent post-er ('freeze out' girl), where I get annoyed if a guy doesn't respond right away. Reading my own post, I think I've got serious ADD when it comes to online dating. Great, more issues to work on! :-p A-L-

You know…that’s a very good point!

No, it was about 20 in one week- almost all of the e-mails were “I like your profile. Check mine out if you want.” I know, deeply uncreative. Ironically, the few that I did get ‘creative’ with never wrote back…lol.

I suppose I’m lucky that I got responses at all, taking your response into consideration.

I think also…I’m getting put off when guys don’t make any mention about meeting up by the second e-mail. Also…I think I’m like the most recent post-er (‘freeze out’ girl), where I get annoyed if a guy doesn’t respond right away.

Reading my own post, I think I’ve got serious ADD when it comes to online dating. Great, more issues to work on! :-p

]]> By: A-L http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-write-to-men/comment-page-1/#comment-74988 A-L Fri, 16 Jul 2010 05:35:58 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/should-women-write-to-men/#comment-74988 Sayanta,   How many guys are you e-mailing at a time? Are you sending out 20 e-mails a week and then corresponding with 15 that week?  Or are you e-mailing 10 a week and corresponding with 7?  Or a different set of numbers?   When I was doing the online dating thing I found it difficult to have good e-mail with more than 3-5 guys at a time.  Good e-mail qualifying as being able to maintain quick response times, remembering details from the correspondence, etc.  Is it possible that you're e-mailing with so many guys that they don't feel a lot of personal attention, and therefore don't devote enough interest to developing a possible relationship? Sayanta,
 
How many guys are you e-mailing at a time? Are you sending out 20 e-mails a week and then corresponding with 15 that week?  Or are you e-mailing 10 a week and corresponding with 7?  Or a different set of numbers?
 
When I was doing the online dating thing I found it difficult to have good e-mail with more than 3-5 guys at a time.  Good e-mail qualifying as being able to maintain quick response times, remembering details from the correspondence, etc.  Is it possible that you’re e-mailing with so many guys that they don’t feel a lot of personal attention, and therefore don’t devote enough interest to developing a possible relationship?

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