Comments on: Should You Say In Your Profile That You’re Looking For Marriage?

By: merryan

merryan — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 19:18:36 +0000

Collins, sorry dont agree with your post – we are all programmed by nature, and women dont really like to be treated as equals on the first few dates, as we like to feel as if we are being wooed. It is human nature for a man to want to look after a woman – just a little, in the initial stages of dating – as this is how evolution has designed men, and this is how men show they care for a woman. It is just part of the “dating ritual”. A woman picks up these signals and responds accordingly. If she doesnt pick up these signals, her instinct is to assume she is not dating a “man” and she moves on to a more attractive proposition. Later on in the relationship equality and doing things on a more equal par will happen as the male has proved his “masculinity”. Sorry, but that is how it is and most happy relationships follow this format!

By: tara

tara — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 21:21:28 +0000

Okay – this is why I like your stuff – ha – you are hysterically funny and your advice kicks ass:

“There are other experts who say you should state everything right up front so as not to waste your time. I disagree. You don’t bring up your ticking clock, your herpes or your abandonment issues until you’ve forged a connection. And by leading with your very reasonable desires in your profile, you may be killing your chances to forge a connection.”

By: Flower

Flower — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 12:06:26 +0000

Hi Evan congratulations on the birth of your first child!

Never say at the start what it is you want just have fun exchange ideas and listen to what he says. I wish to be married in 2012, which is making me more selective. Of course I never tell men that I’m training to be a wife, ha.

@Colins
I understand you’re on a budget. And you should pay for the first dates even if she offers to spilt the bill.
May I guess that you are under 30 years old?

By: queeny

queeny — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 06:59:34 +0000

hi Evan, yes i want to be married to an intelligent guy, dawn to earth, some one who is understanding and who knows how to take care of a woman(woman’s needs). i am working yes i have my own car and i am planning to buy a house also next year. but then it doesnt mean that i dont need a man who will provide me if i need something. i want a man who will show me that he loves me more than anything, whom when i am not with, he will sms me or call me to let me know that he loves me and miss me you know a romantic man. and the other thing is, if i get married i dont want to change and become a different person, meaning stop visiting my friends, not going out with them just because i’m married, i want me amd my man to leave the way we used to leave b4 we marry because is all about controlling yourself if your out with your friends and not forgetting that your married thats all. We must just talk and agree about what we want and dont want and try to solve a problem imediately if there is any.

By: A-L

A-L — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 18:15:00 +0000

I don’t know if this is the best thread to put this on, but here goes. Should a woman write in her profile that she is debt-free, or financially responsible, or owns her own home, or anything to show that she’s got her own money and isn’t looking for a goldmine? Not trying to incite a flame war, but since so many men on this board have commented on the fear of golddigging women, don’t know what I should do in regards to my online profile.

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 12:58:25 +0000

Collins, I actually thought your suggesting in your profile that the gal pay on the first date was a joke. First meetings online, IMO, should be coffee or a drink, this way neither party feels obligated since you don’t know the person.

If a guy expects me to pay on a first date or even for coffee I take it he’s not interested and move on. In my experience a decent guy will pay on the first date if he’s interested in you. And decent women expect the same.

I beleive there’s a whole other post on this topic so I won’t rant here.

By: Collins

Collins — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 00:41:08 +0000

We guys can’t win, can we? If we don’t pay for the first date, we’re cheap, & if we do, we invite golddiggers. Well, if I do come across as cheap, at least I can filter out those women who view men as ATMs, sperm donors &/or rescuers (& to be fair, not all women do, just like not all men view women as sex objects). On the other hand, I could, in Marie’s words, “create a profile that appeals to a large number of people & then begin the filtering process through further communication.” Marie’s strategy might make sense especially for the guys, given that the gals tend to be inundated with e-mails within minutes of releasing their profiles, while the guys get hardly any e-mails except from porn-star-like girls who are most likely spammers.

By: Robin

Robin — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 21:59:45 +0000

I thought what Collins wrote as an example is okay up to ……… but has room in her life for me. Nix the accounting details or yes, that comes across as petty. Good idea of how to handle things but not in a profile, IMHO. Instead, perhaps tack on what else might be appealing in a peer, sharing of intellectual pursuits, whatever. Then the concluding sentence he wrote. Just my 2 cents. I hate the online thing, personally. I also believe in at least responding with a quick sentence back to acknowledge the person and say sorry. That can get overwhelming.

By: passerby

passerby — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 23:54:21 +0000

Sorry, Collins, but if you put that in your profile, you would simply come off to me as cheap.

By: Hadley Paige

Hadley Paige — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 19:32:50 +0000

RE: expressing your wants in your profile

From my perspective, the longer the list, the more the woman seems to me to be high maintenance (which I definitely don’t want). Expressing her wants, needs and desires in a positive, well written, charming way helps, but tis still a list.

Advice to the ladies>> keep the needs list short & positive.