Comments on: Taking Down Your Profile http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:55:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Lucy http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-194305 Lucy Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:26:52 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-194305 Yep you're right - I think you do need to have the conversation. I have been seeing Darren for two months. He brought it up early - earlier than I was expecting - hence me agreeing - then getting freaked out by it and asking for help! I think 2 months is fine to bring it up. That way you'll know if you're on the same page or not.   Yep you’re right – I think you do need to have the conversation. I have been seeing Darren for two months. He brought it up early – earlier than I was expecting – hence me agreeing – then getting freaked out by it and asking for help! I think 2 months is fine to bring it up. That way you’ll know if you’re on the same page or not.

 

]]> By: Ben Ther http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-194189 Ben Ther Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:27:48 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-194189 I've had the same question. Dated one girl for nine months. I took down my profile after several months yet she did not. She later confirmed she did not consider herself my girlfriend, rather I was just a "very good friend." Of course I should have raised the issue sooner. The next relationship, the girl asked after the first (really good) date if I was seeing anyone else. She didn't say I couldn't. She was just curious.  Now I've  been in a new relationship for two months that's seemingly going well.  I again have the same concern. I stopped logging in to my account weeks ago to show I was not looking, while she logs in two or three times a week. I need to have a conversation. I’ve had the same question. Dated one girl for nine months. I took down my profile after several months yet she did not. She later confirmed she did not consider herself my girlfriend, rather I was just a “very good friend.” Of course I should have raised the issue sooner. The next relationship, the girl asked after the first (really good) date if I was seeing anyone else. She didn’t say I couldn’t. She was just curious.  Now I’ve  been in a new relationship for two months that’s seemingly going well.  I again have the same concern. I stopped logging in to my account weeks ago to show I was not looking, while she logs in two or three times a week. I need to have a conversation.

]]> By: DatingForDopes http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-180224 DatingForDopes Thu, 15 Sep 2011 01:00:22 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-180224 The statement I made: "If you like someone enough to see someone several times each week and have sex with them" requires some qualification.   Let's assume one is seeing someone several times each week for a couple of months.  Both talk on the phone/text daily and having a having a sexual relationship with each other. They introduce you to their young child/children, and talk about how excited/happy they are being involved with you. You spend time with them and their kids.  Add to it that you specifically asked them if they are dating others or are having sex with others and their reply is "no." They may mean no as in NOT AT THIS MOMENT. And tomorrow is another day so the answer may be different without warning. But for those who do not wish to take the hard line of interrogation, this would be enough to establish trust that they are working on knowing YOU and not everyone else on the dating site. It should be a relief. If a person has no issue dating and having sex with more than one person while sublimating the cold reality of "it's none of your business what I do" than their true self is in the limelight. That same person is willing to subjugate their own kids to partners coming and going at an exponential rate. It does not whisper quality. It screams selfish. If they are still online while doing all this but say it's YOUR fault for not asking earlier, than find someone who has your best interests at heart. This person is NOT IT. The same courtship rules in real life should apply to online dating. Convenient truths of the moment are not genuine and border on deceptive.    A person who wants YOU and only YOU will make it happen and let you know without veiled deceptive wordsmithing. Every day they are hecking out the goods online time he or she is NOT checking out you and what you have to offer.    The basic considerations of traditional methods of dating have not changed with the advent of online dating. A person claiming to be online for FRIENDS while stringing you along is not on a dating site for friends. it's for romantic investigation of a partner. Friends can be found on meetup dot com or other avenues. Dating sites mean DATING. Finding a partner. Hook up sites are for hooking up. The profile should reflect their intent and you should call bullshit if the two do not align. Look out for yourself and be careful. You may not only be screwing the village idiot but all the others he or she is lying to.           The statement I made: “If you like someone enough to see someone several times each week and have sex with them” requires some qualification.
 
Let’s assume one is seeing someone several times each week for a couple of months.  Both talk on the phone/text daily and having a having a sexual relationship with each other. They introduce you to their young child/children, and talk about how excited/happy they are being involved with you. You spend time with them and their kids.  Add to it that you specifically asked them if they are dating others or are having sex with others and their reply is “no.”
They may mean no as in NOT AT THIS MOMENT. And tomorrow is another day so the answer may be different without warning. But for those who do not wish to take the hard line of interrogation, this would be enough to establish trust that they are working on knowing YOU and not everyone else on the dating site. It should be a relief.
If a person has no issue dating and having sex with more than one person while sublimating the cold reality of “it’s none of your business what I do” than their true self is in the limelight. That same person is willing to subjugate their own kids to partners coming and going at an exponential rate. It does not whisper quality. It screams selfish. If they are still online while doing all this but say it’s YOUR fault for not asking earlier, than find someone who has your best interests at heart. This person is NOT IT.
The same courtship rules in real life should apply to online dating. Convenient truths of the moment are not genuine and border on deceptive. 
 
A person who wants YOU and only YOU will make it happen and let you know without veiled deceptive wordsmithing. Every day they are hecking out the goods online time he or she is NOT checking out you and what you have to offer. 
 
The basic considerations of traditional methods of dating have not changed with the advent of online dating. A person claiming to be online for FRIENDS while stringing you along is not on a dating site for friends. it’s for romantic investigation of a partner. Friends can be found on meetup dot com or other avenues. Dating sites mean DATING. Finding a partner. Hook up sites are for hooking up. The profile should reflect their intent and you should call bullshit if the two do not align. Look out for yourself and be careful. You may not only be screwing the village idiot but all the others he or she is lying to.
 
 
 
 
 

]]> By: DatingForDopes http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-180202 DatingForDopes Wed, 14 Sep 2011 22:22:29 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-180202 If you like someone enough to see someone several times each week and have sex with them, there would be no need to continue looking and having your profile active.  Unless you are not serious about the person or are using them to pass the time until someone more interesting arrives on the scene. Consider: Your reasons for joining online site. The truth you reveal about what it is you are seeking in your profile. The honesty between you and the person you are seeing regularly. The conviction behind your reasons for joining and your honesty with those you date.   Remember that your actions and words should align. The other person will catch on and know something is not right if you contradict or omit your intent.  Being vague about your intent and checking the site while having giving the impression you are developing a relationship with one person is shady behavior. Eventually you will become one of the "regulars"  on these sites and the opposite sex will avoid you. Word travels fast and unless you care about how you treat people, consider reexamining your disclosures and intent. Be clear. Be fair and above all else, have a conscience and empathy for the other person.     If you like someone enough to see someone several times each week and have sex with them, there would be no need to continue looking and having your profile active.  Unless you are not serious about the person or are using them to pass the time until someone more interesting arrives on the scene.
Consider:
Your reasons for joining online site.
The truth you reveal about what it is you are seeking in your profile.
The honesty between you and the person you are seeing regularly.
The conviction behind your reasons for joining and your honesty with those you date.
 
Remember that your actions and words should align. The other person will catch on and know something is not right if you contradict or omit your intent. 
Being vague about your intent and checking the site while having giving the impression you are developing a relationship with one person is shady behavior. Eventually you will become one of the “regulars”  on these sites and the opposite sex will avoid you. Word travels fast and unless you care about how you treat people, consider reexamining your disclosures and intent. Be clear. Be fair and above all else, have a conscience and empathy for the other person.
 
 

]]> By: RR http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-179913 RR Tue, 13 Sep 2011 15:49:50 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-179913 I have the same problem, BB... BF of 4.5 months, I never checked on because I trusted him, just went today and he has an "available" profile seeking LTR and just logged in this morning.  I asked him about it (tried to avoid being confrontational) and he said that he just likes 'people watching' and that he had changed it to available when i broke up with him a couple weeks ago but forgot to change it back.  We got back together after less than a day though (I broke up with him out of haste and anger of something else he did).  So he said that he would take it down since it bothered me.  Seriously, WTF??? So he doesn't want to take it down due to wanting to be with only me.  I told him I didn't care if he kept it up but I'm going to re-activate mine and he didn't like that (I get very high response rates, which he knows)  Should I care about his reasoning for taking it down or just be happy that he agreed to?  He also agreed to let me log into his account to see what he's been doing, but obviously there's nothing from stopping him from logging in right now and deleting stuff. We're in a pretty serious relationship, going on vacations together and call each other boyfriend/girlfriend.  I'm confused. I have the same problem, BB… BF of 4.5 months, I never checked on because I trusted him, just went today and he has an “available” profile seeking LTR and just logged in this morning.  I asked him about it (tried to avoid being confrontational) and he said that he just likes ‘people watching’ and that he had changed it to available when i broke up with him a couple weeks ago but forgot to change it back.  We got back together after less than a day though (I broke up with him out of haste and anger of something else he did).  So he said that he would take it down since it bothered me. 
Seriously, WTF???
So he doesn’t want to take it down due to wanting to be with only me.  I told him I didn’t care if he kept it up but I’m going to re-activate mine and he didn’t like that (I get very high response rates, which he knows)  Should I care about his reasoning for taking it down or just be happy that he agreed to?  He also agreed to let me log into his account to see what he’s been doing, but obviously there’s nothing from stopping him from logging in right now and deleting stuff.
We’re in a pretty serious relationship, going on vacations together and call each other boyfriend/girlfriend.  I’m confused.

]]> By: Kudos to Evan Marc Katz – How To Survive Online Dating as a Woman « The Online Dating Circus http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-161406 Kudos to Evan Marc Katz – How To Survive Online Dating as a Woman « The Online Dating Circus Sun, 19 Jun 2011 23:56:05 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-161406 [...] also suggests that if he is online, he is probably scoping out other women.  This doesn’t have to be the end as Evan states that just having “trust” in a [...] [...] also suggests that if he is online, he is probably scoping out other women.  This doesn’t have to be the end as Evan states that just having “trust” in a [...]

]]> By: BrainyBeauty http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-53939 BrainyBeauty Tue, 22 Dec 2009 07:56:45 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-53939 I totally feel you. I've been dating someone for a month now, we have been sleeping together regularly and he's SUPER affectionate with me in public. He is funny, warm, love and treats me to everything... However, I took my profile but he did not. Wtf? I'm not really sure what this means. All my guy friends have been telling that I messed up by sleeping with him, but that he clearly likes me. I'm just not sure how much he likes me. I don't whether I should initiate the what are we talk or wait for him... The rules of online dating can suck sometimes. I totally feel you. I’ve been dating someone for a month now, we have been sleeping together regularly and he’s SUPER affectionate with me in public. He is funny, warm, love and treats me to everything…
However, I took my profile but he did not. Wtf? I’m not really sure what this means. All my guy friends have been telling that I messed up by sleeping with him, but that he clearly likes me. I’m just not sure how much he likes me. I don’t whether I should initiate the what are we talk or wait for him…
The rules of online dating can suck sometimes.

]]> By: LolaLuv http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-39390 LolaLuv Mon, 03 Aug 2009 01:53:26 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-39390 ...It seems as if he's on there browsing girls, seeing if the grass is greener. I don't know... …It seems as if he’s on there browsing girls, seeing if the grass is greener. I don’t know…

]]> By: Cilla http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-20169 Cilla Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:28:45 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-20169 If he wanted to look, he could hide his profile and still peruse the women (assuming you're on a site that has this feature). Keeping his profile up means not only does he want to look at women, he wants them to look at him. It says, "I'm still available." Get rid of him. If he wanted to look, he could hide his profile and still peruse the women (assuming you’re on a site that has this feature). Keeping his profile up means not only does he want to look at women, he wants them to look at him. It says, “I’m still available.”

Get rid of him.

]]> By: luv3pugs http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/taking-down-your-profile/comment-page-1/#comment-20166 luv3pugs Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:06:57 +0000 http://advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/taking-down-your-profile/#comment-20166 Yes, well, we both said that we weren't going to have relationships with anyone else without telling the other first. That seems to me to be exclusive. Is that not to a man? Yes, well, we both said that we weren’t going to have relationships with anyone else without telling the other first. That seems to me to be exclusive. Is that not to a man?

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