“I will never have to settle for a less than fabulous relationship ever again.”
In July of 2012 I had just ended a dead end relationship. Well, he was the one that ended it by cheating on me. In an effort to keep busy, and not really expecting to find a long term relationship, I decided to sign up for Plenty of Fish. At the time, I felt very undesirable, I mean, my boyfriend with whom I was so kind, patient and caring, had just rejected me in the harshest of ways.
I needed to understand why I had stayed in that relationship for two years, knowing the whole time that it wasn’t right for me and would not make it in the long run. I realized that I stayed because I wasn’t sure anybody else would want me and I was determined to change that mindset. I knew I needed to not take the dating thing too seriously, to have fun and explore my options.
After several dates with a few different guys I met Ron. It was a week after our first date that I bought “Why He Disappeared” and I cannot tell you how glad I am that I did! I truly feel that listening to the book on an almost daily basis on my way to work is a big part of why this relationship is going as well as it is. I took several lessons away from the book, one of the most compelling being “don’t do anything”. I was most definitely a “do something” kind of gal. I wanted to know where was the relationship going? How did he feel about me? What was the next step? And on and on. This time, after listening to the book, I let Ron’s actions speak to me. I trust in them and know that he does wonderful things for me because he truly cares for me and wants to please me. I also use the advice given by Evan’s wife regarding mulligans. Oh, do I give lots of mulligans! However, on two occasions there have been issues that were bothering me for some time and I spoke to him about them. He immediately took to heart what I was saying and has strived to change the behaviors that were bothering me. I know this is because I rarely “unleash the crazy” on him and I think he respects my feelings and opinions more because of that.
Ron and I have now been dating for 5 months and it is the most enjoyable relationship I’ve ever had. He is kind, generous, thoughtful and loves surprising me. We share many of the same values regarding family, work and play and although he is not my normal “type” physically I was, with the help of “Why He Disappeared”, able to look past that and focus on what was really important, our compatibility. Although we have been exclusive since our first date he only recently started referring to us as boyfriend and girlfriend and it makes my heart sing. I really feel that we are moving towards the next level in our relationship and I continue to listen to “Why He Disappeared” on a weekly basis to keep myself grounded and remind myself to mirror his actions and let him take the lead.
I feel that the relationship with Ron could go all the way, but I have a new found sense of peace because I know that if it doesn’t, I have the skills and mindset to find another great guy. I also know that I have many desirable qualities and that I will never have to settle for a less than fabulous relationship ever again. Thanks, Evan, for writing the book, doing the blogs and giving the advice that has helped me gain the confidence to attract this wonderful man.